how do you respond?

[MRG]

Quote:

Originally Posted by NoOneGetsIt I have friends and family that seem to have a hard time with our early retirement. We are mid 50s and there seems to be animosity towards us now that we are done. Have any of you had this happen to you and if so how did you respond? My own father, who is 90 says he feels awful about our decision and hopes I change my mind. He feels you he purpose out of working...I told him I have purpose in living...

Enjoy your retirement.

I had the same issue with my 95 year old DF when I retired at 56. Nevermind he'd retired at 60.

Can't please everyone.

Sadly many people can't see how they'll be able to retire at FRA, let alone early,

[97guns]

Who cares what they say or think, they didn't help you one red cent achieving FIRE, they can all pound sand as far as I'm concerned

[scrabbler1]

The people around me benefit a lot from my being retired because I can spend more time doing things with them. These people include my friends, close relatives, and others who are involved with my hobbies and volunteer work. They won't bite the hand which feeds them.


I had been working part-time for 7 years prior to my fully retiring in 2008. So, for the people around me it wasn't a huge change to my everyday life to go from working 2 or 3 days a week to not working at all. This includes my former coworkers who didn't see me very often that whole time.

[Major Tom]

Quote:

Originally Posted by W2R You aren't going to get them to approve of your life and accept what you did, because it doesn't fit in with their self narrative. You can't change them. What you CAN do is keep it from raining on your parade.

+1

The only thing we can control is ourselves. Enjoy your retirement, and don't allow others to spoil that pleasure.

[Focus]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ready Well, there are many folks on this forum who would not consider a mid 50's retirement to be early.

Are there?

[brucethebroker]

I suggest those comments are made by folks with one of two mindsets: financial and social/passion.

The first group contain those who are bitter (since they cannot afford to retire), and those who are stunned ("how can someone afford to do that?").

The second group is comprised of the social animals who cannot comprehend life without their support system at work, or those who have a passion for the work and cannot imagine why anyone would ever WANT to leave the job since they are so happy doing it. (This group holds hope for changing their minds as the job degrades over time, and they start to GET it.).

[Bryan Barnfellow]

When I tell people that I am retired, they often say "But you're too young!" I am now 61 but have no gray hair yet, so that must account for it.

My response (with a big smile): "THANK YOU!"

-BB

[traineeinvestor]

Not really an issue. My parents and some of my former partners thought I'd get bored and get another job just for something to do. Everyone else was supportive. I don't recall anyone reacting badly.

Of course, sending selfies of the Wednesday morning hikes with another early retiree to a group of former colleagues who are still working isn't quite as well received ...

[braumeister]

I think the easiest thing is to just throw them a sop and say "Yes, I was lucky."
Then change the subject.

[Bryan Barnfellow]

Quote:

Originally Posted by traineeinvestor Of course, sending selfies of the Wednesday morning hikes with another early retiree to a group of former colleagues who are still working isn't quite as well received ...

I believe in being a good and inspiring role model and send those selfies to my former colleagues in the "w*king class."

-BB

[user5027]

Tell them you are doing your part to reduce the unemployment rate.

[Ronstar]

I worked 2 days a week in my early 50's - told people it was due to the economy - which it partially was. I got a lot more comments for 5-6 years of part time work than I did since I retired 3 years ago at 58 years old.

All of my friends and relatives had/have jobs with a good pension. So retiring at 58 is not early in my group of acquaintances.

[UnrealizedPotential]

I don't talk about it. It just gets those who are still in the workforce angry. I can't help those to save money and do what I did as I was a very frugal person and I can't teach them investing. So I keep my mouth shut and say nothing. I don't know what they think about me because I don't ask.

[UnrealizedPotential]

Quote:

Originally Posted by RobbieB Offer to lend them some dough?

I found out the hard way that is a bad deal. A loan usually turns into a gift. That is another reason I do not talk about money with anyone.

[Koolau]

Not so much now that I'm 70, but back in the day folks would say "you're lucky to be retired so young." I always responded "Luck had nothing to do with it." In all honesty, I suppose luck DID have something to do with it. I was always a good saver but a lousy investor. When the time came (age 51) my lousy investing - primarily too concentrated in company stock - made me FI (the modest pension and health care stipend didn't hurt.) I stayed to 58, but could have retired many years earlier - long story.

So now of days, the only "problem" is when I say I'm 70 and folks say "No way!" I guess it's a good problem to have. YMMV

[Danmar]

ER is one of several things that friends (and family mostly) could be envious about. Our lifestyle is certainly one as well. You get used to it.

We are very generous with our good fortune. Always pay for family dinners, take family and friends on trips with us, lend our vacation properties to them, cash gifts in emergencies, etc. Never been asked for money. If they are still resentful, they don't show it. Helps to chalk it up to luck, whether you believe that or not.

[misshathaway]

Quote:

Originally Posted by timo2 I'm 64 and I'm still getting comments about my retirement next month. like I must have money, what would you do with your time, I wish I could retire (from people older than me), and so on..

And after you retire it will be "What do you DO all day?". I am a lot more careful now about who I tell, and avoid conversations that might even be tangential to money. Of course that only works with acquaintances. Friends have endless unsolicited suggestions about what I should be doing. "I don't want to be useful" works for the shock value.

[brett]

Water off a ducks back to us. We retired at 58. Lots of people were surprised. Sold our house. Some thought we were living on our house money.

I have never really cared very much about what other people think or say about what we do or how we manage our lives.

Perhaps I am a bit of a contrarian. Never followed the crowd on investment advice or career advancement advice. This approach worked well for us. The gap between perception and fact that is oftentimes ignored/missed by many.

We have relatives who have lived their lives doing things and spending money in order to fit in or be concerned about what other people think. Sad really because they are not prepared for retirement and are almost afraid to step out of the shadow so to speak. Better to ask why not than to ask why.

Better to ignore what others think or say about early retirement and just get on living your life they way you want to. The naysayers will always be there....just ignore them.

[Gumby]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MRG Enjoy your retirement. I had the same issue with my 95 year old DF when I retired at 56. Nevermind he'd retired at 60. Can't please everyone. Sadly many people can't see how they'll be able to retire at FRA, let alone early,

I'm currently 58. I gave up caring what my father thought about me just about 58 years ago.

[Fedup]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Danmar ER is one of several things that friends (and family mostly) could be envious about. Our lifestyle is certainly one as well. You get used to it. We are very generous with our good fortune. Always pay for family dinners, take family and friends on trips with us, lend our vacation properties to them, cash gifts in emergencies, etc. Never been asked for money. If they are still resentful, they don't show it. Helps to chalk it up to luck, whether you believe that or not.

I do this too but some of them decided to slap salt in our face. I won't say who, but needless to say we won't be in communicado with them anymore. Either that as they age they lost their mind. Mental health issue despite having free health care.