how do you respond?

If i were blessed with having a 90 year old father, i would tell him what ever made him happy. If he wants you to go back to work ,you tell him he was right, and you returned. They missed you so much they gave you a raise and 2 more weeks vacation. Then thank him for his great advice. Everyone else, who cares what they think.

Yeah lucky to have a 90 year old dad ...even luckier that he is totally with it and living independently......I may use your idea thank you!
 
My wife and I are FI and RE...I retired at 44 years old almost 4 years ago and my wife retired at 51 years old a year and a half ago. We readily informed our respective families of our retirement and have heard no flak nor snide comments from my family nor hers...although my brother is convinced we must've won the lottery or something. Our friends, while somewhat jealous if not altogether perplexed, were quite supportive of our decision to retire. We do have to entertain questions about what we do everyday...to which I readily reply "Whatever I want".
 
My wife and I are FI and RE...I retired at 44 years old almost 4 years ago and my wife retired at 51 years old a year and a half ago. We readily informed our respective families of our retirement and have heard no flak nor snide comments from my family nor hers...although my brother is convinced we must've won the lottery or something. Our friends, while somewhat jealous if not altogether perplexed, were quite supportive of our decision to retire. We do have to entertain questions about what we do everyday...to which I readily reply "Whatever I want".



That's what I've been saying but I love the weekends answer from NoOneGetsIt!
 
Anyone who retired mid 50's and earlier probably experienced a little jealousy from a few friends. Most got over it and we're friends today. In my case ER was easy to explain as I never married and no children to raise. Easy to save w/o family expenses.
 
Well, you could tell doubters that you now work, as you define it, at other things and have the time to enjoy more of life. But, don't apologize for making personal decisions (aka or what some will see as sacrifices like keeping a cR for 10+ years) that put you in a better place. And, don't gloat that you could make those choices if your income so allowed.
 
I retired at 62 last January, and occasionally get those questions/statements from others. I tell them that I'm not retired, that I simply had a career change and now work full-time for my wife...
 
I retired at 62 last January, and occasionally get those questions/statements from others. I tell them that I'm not retired, that I simply had a career change and now work full-time for my wife...



Good one. From a former NAVSEA employee.
 
I retired at 62 last January, and occasionally get those questions/statements from others. I tell them that I'm not retired, that I simply had a career change and now work full-time for my wife...



Another great answer! [emoji23]
 
I retired at 62 last January, and occasionally get those questions/statements from others. I tell them that I'm not retired, that I simply had a career change and now work full-time for my wife...



Good reply. When I retired my husband got a stay at home boss.[emoji12]
 
Best to say nothing.

A few times we could have commented that the person could have retired early on all the consumer debt interest that they paid over the past 25 years.

Or, that if they had invested just a bit more wisely all of the monies that they pumped into those failed get rich quick investments and ponzi schemes, and multi level marketing gigs would have allowed them to retire years ago.

Or perhaps if they kept their automobiles for six years instead of trading in trash for new trash every two or three years to keep up with the neighbours they could be retired right now.
 
In general (although I realize it's too late for you to use this part of my advice), it really helps to imply vaguely that you are still working in some capacity —*doing a little consultant work, for example. This keeps them guessing and if they're guessing, they're assuming you are not as well off as you may seem to be. Less room for jealousy.

Re: having a purpose in life, retirement can give you the opportunity to invest in education (including self-education) and volunteer work. Your father may be one of the people who think retiring early means living selfishly and not contributing to society. You may be able to show him that isn't necessarily true.
 
at present, as I have let the organization know I am retiring, I get a lot of questions like 'what will you do'. I am saying, "I don't know" "nothing planned" "I'm going to decompress for a couple of years" or "I've never had a problem keeping busy". vague bland nothing answers. I don't feel like explaining we are buying a brand new house, the first new one we ever owned, and I will be busy with that and with getting to know the area to where we are moving. and re-starting up on golf again. That is all too many words. "I don't know' is my preferred answer.
 
There is a strange subset of humanity that hates a success story, and loves a failure story.

Five years ago, I was laid off at 45 from a mid-senior management post. I saw it coming, planned to go into consulting (discovered I really, REALLY hated being management, but enjoyed the paycheck,) and decided to wait for the inevitable rather than leave on my own. Sure enough, I wound up with severance and benefits that amounted to approx $85k to finance my startup period, and the summer off on top of it.

"I heard the news, I'm so sorry!" was a common reaction. "Thanks, but it's more than fine, (then I'd recount a numbers free version of the above,) so this all factors into the plan." "Gee, it's so terrible! (Ignoring what I said.) Are you going to have to sell your house? (We live in a lakefront.) Are you going to move? What does your wife say?"

A couple months later, the phone calls would come in again. "Hey, how's it going? Did you move? Are you moving? Are you selling that lake house? Tough economy, and I was just thinking of you."

Even now, I run into folks. "Oh, hey, how's it going? That was a rough time for you. Did you sell your lake house?"
 
There is a strange subset of humanity that hates a success story, and loves a failure story.

Five years ago, I was laid off at 45 from a mid-senior management post. I saw it coming, planned to go into consulting (discovered I really, REALLY hated being management, but enjoyed the paycheck,) and decided to wait for the inevitable rather than leave on my own. Sure enough, I wound up with severance and benefits that amounted to approx $85k to finance my startup period, and the summer off on top of it.

"I heard the news, I'm so sorry!" was a common reaction. "Thanks, but it's more than fine, (then I'd recount a numbers free version of the above,) so this all factors into the plan." "Gee, it's so terrible! (Ignoring what I said.) Are you going to have to sell your house? (We live in a lakefront.) Are you going to move? What does your wife say?"

A couple months later, the phone calls would come in again. "Hey, how's it going? Did you move? Are you moving? Are you selling that lake house? Tough economy, and I was just thinking of you."

Even now, I run into folks. "Oh, hey, how's it going? That was a rough time for you. Did you sell your lake house?"

I think this also shows the kissing cousin of LBYM. To wit, reading the handwriting on the wall about impending layoffs and/or one's own job jeopardy. LBYMr's plan all their finances, including monitoring their job status, and planning accordingly. I've been "lucky" enough to have gone through it twice. In both cases when the eventuality hit, not only was it not a surprise, but each short term job loss was but a blip on my financial situation.
 
When I get the question "what do you do all day" I respond "what do you do on weekends.....I do that all the time" smile and walk :)


Great answer

I had two former colleagues message me on social media who I hadn't heard from in a long while.More curiosity from one ' why are you retiring they are throwing money at you'.He didn't get it. The other wanted to know how I did it.

LBYM was one of the keys for me and never felt deprived of anything. My mother was the one who said I was too young (52). My good friends are just fine with it but the only drawback is they are still working so it is weekends to socialize. I look forward to making new friends through our adventures.
 
"To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing."
- Elbert Hubbard
 

I had both friends and family that were on each end of the ER decision spectrum. Never thought too much about others opinions of what I decided for myself.
 
If i were blessed with having a 90 year old father, i would tell him what ever made him happy. If he wants you to go back to work ,you tell him he was right, and you returned. They missed you so much they gave you a raise and 2 more weeks vacation. Then thank him for his great advice. Everyone else, who cares what they think.

+1. Great answer. I wish my father was alive. My mother died at 93 and in her later years we often did the same things as you suggested. We would involve her in many things, seek her opinion and thank her later which made her so happy and we loved it.
 
DW just came up with her answer: "i'm going to sit around in my underwear all day and drink alcohol"
 

Latest posts

Back
Top Bottom