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Old 03-29-2012, 02:39 PM   #101
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Yes, thanks for reminding me of that. Of course, I do not want to push my wife too far, you know?

I will have to compromise by throwing some different forms of travel in there for her, like a cruise, or another European trip.

It is easy to please everyone. It only takes time and money!
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Old 03-29-2012, 02:41 PM   #102
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If you moved out of NY you could probably cut your expenses in half
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Along with your paycheck ...
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Old 03-29-2012, 02:47 PM   #103
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For us, it will require some major changes in ER. I'm not sure DW is amenable to some but we'll have discuss it seriously.
1. Downsize in housing. DW has a lot of stuff.
2. Downsize in vehicles. We have 3 relatively new vehicles. We think of keeping the truck, and trading the 2 cars to a minivan, thus 2 vehicles.
3. Concentrate on buying only what we need not want. No more jewelry-my wife will get mad at me.
4. More road trips- more expenses.
5. One cruise/year for about 3 years.
6. Low profile simple life, getting away from the Jones'.
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Old 03-29-2012, 05:44 PM   #104
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For us, it will require some major changes in ER. I'm not sure DW is amenable to some but we'll have discuss it seriously.
1. Downsize in housing. DW has a lot of stuff.
2. Downsize in vehicles. We have 3 relatively new vehicles. We think of keeping the truck, and trading the 2 cars to a minivan, thus 2 vehicles.
3. Concentrate on buying only what we need not want. No more jewelry-my wife will get mad at me.
4. More road trips- more expenses.
5. One cruise/year for about 3 years.
6. Low profile simple life, getting away from the Jones'.
aka LBYM (particularly not keeping up with the Joneses).
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Old 03-29-2012, 05:50 PM   #105
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Originally Posted by Birchwood View Post
For us, it will require some major changes in ER. I'm not sure DW is amenable to some but we'll have discuss it seriously.
1. Downsize in housing. DW has a lot of stuff.
2. Downsize in vehicles. We have 3 relatively new vehicles. We think of keeping the truck, and trading the 2 cars to a minivan, thus 2 vehicles.
3. Concentrate on buying only what we need not want. No more jewelry-my wife will get mad at me.
4. More road trips- more expenses.
5. One cruise/year for about 3 years.
6. Low profile simple life, getting away from the Jones'.
I'd say achieving these things means a pretty strong commitment from everyone involved is needed.
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Old 03-29-2012, 05:51 PM   #106
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aka LBYM (particularly not keeping up with the Joneses).
I'd say that you're ahead of the game if you're not even bothered who the Joneses are because their lifestyle isn't relevant to your own way of life.

If you're at that point, then the issue of keeping up with them wouldn't even enter your head
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Old 03-29-2012, 06:05 PM   #107
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Ever seen a guy's dorm room? You think they're all monks in there??

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I'm curious to know how many hot chicks have spent the night in his little love nest.

Which would explain a lot of the psychology behind big homes.
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Old 03-29-2012, 09:40 PM   #108
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This has nothing to do with anything, but when I was young, I didn't care if a guy had any money. I didn't have any either. Nobody young around me did, so it was OK. When I first got married, getting a dipped cone at Dairy Queen was a treat. Now, if a guy takes me out (I have an SO, so that won't happen but stay with me here...) to Denny's or something for the first date (and use a coupon to boot?), nah, I don't think I will go out with hiim again. I don't care if he is a savor and has a lot of money or what; I don't care.

But then, at one point in my life, I actually considered renting a room in someone's house to save money (cheaper than renting a place of your own).... Actually that would be fine if I thought of doing it when I was much younger (I was already in my mid 30's!)
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Old 03-29-2012, 10:05 PM   #109
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Not ERed yet, but DH will be later this year. We've always been value shoppers and I don't see why that would change in retirement. However, I believe we will probably be spending a little more after ER than we do now - more eating out, more concerts and sporting events, more golf for DH, etc. It's less than 6 months away and we're both very excited.
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Old 03-29-2012, 10:30 PM   #110
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3. No more jewelry-my wife will get mad at me.
Unless you absolutely cannot afford her jewelry, you would be wise to lay off that issue. Many men cannot know what place jewelry holds in a woman's heart, but you mess with that to your peril. If you cut off her jewelry she is not going to be happy about your single malt tastes.

Ha
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Old 03-30-2012, 08:47 AM   #111
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Unless you absolutely cannot afford her jewelry, you would be wise to lay off that issue. Many men cannot know what place jewelry holds in a woman's heart, but you mess with that to your peril. If you cut off her jewelry she is not going to be happy about your single malt tastes.

Ha
To me, jewelry, real jewelry, is like Persian rugs or modern art or expensive wine: I can easily get ripped-off because I have had a lifelong bafflement as to what really constitutes its value, at least its monetary value. I always feel like I am at the mercy of the seller. Once at an "educational" wine tasting the teacher/pourer said that once you get above $30 per bottle, the improvement in taste and quality is almost impossible to gauge. When asked why people buy wine costing many many times that, he said "Because they can! " I agree with Ha that jewelry at certain points in life - engagement, marriage, notable anniversaries - is the only way to go, but I thank my lucky stars that my wife would rather spend money on, say, life experiences, than expensive baubles. She married me, thereby proving she's not a show-off!
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Old 03-30-2012, 09:54 AM   #112
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... I agree with Ha that jewelry at certain points in life - engagement, marriage, notable anniversaries - is the only way to go, but I thank my lucky stars that my wife would rather spend money on, say, life experiences, than expensive baubles. She married me, thereby proving she's not a show-off!
Sounds like a sensible approach to me. DW loves jewelery but generally the lower priced colorful stuff you can get from a street vendor. She beads some of her own bracelets and necklaces. They're colorful without being gaudy. Beading gives her a chance to visit bead shops, some while on vacation, and have even more fun.
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Old 03-30-2012, 05:41 PM   #113
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Unless you absolutely cannot afford her jewelry, you would be wise to lay off that issue. Many men cannot know what place jewelry holds in a woman's heart, but you mess with that to your peril. If you cut off her jewelry she is not going to be happy about your single malt tastes.

Ha
I've been told all my life I'm supposed to want jewelry.
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Old 03-31-2012, 03:54 AM   #114
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There must be something wrong with me - I have never been interested in keeping up with the Joneses... Instead I have always kept a low profile.
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aka LBYM (particularly not keeping up with the Joneses).
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Old 03-31-2012, 04:25 AM   #115
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LOL Kahn, me too. I never understood the lure of expensive jewelry. Too much anxiety wearing it out of the house. I have a couple of inherited rings that I look at and pet in their cute little box every so often--but that's it.
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Old 03-31-2012, 02:29 PM   #116
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LOL Kahn, me too. I never understood the lure of expensive jewelry. Too much anxiety wearing it out of the house. I have a couple of inherited rings that I look at and pet in their cute little box every so often--but that's it.
A few months ago I sold most of the gold and silver I had. ~$3000.
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Old 03-31-2012, 08:24 PM   #117
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Ever seen a guy's dorm room?
Don't get my college daughter started on the hygiene/sanitation issues with guy's dorm rooms. Ever notice that the guys are mostly hanging around the girls' dorm rooms? There's a reason.

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You think they're all monks in there??
A.
Elsewhere? No. In there? I'm pretty sure that when the "Your place or mine?" question comes up, they're not going to impress any hot chicks besides Amy Dacyczyn or Vicki Robin...
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Old 03-31-2012, 08:54 PM   #118
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I read the two things which people splurge the most affecting financial health are 1. Homes and 2. cars. Thus if we down size on these, we are on our way.
Frugality is something one learn from childhood. It is hard to teach.

My wife is frugal, but can tell fine jewelry from cheap ones 20 feet away/. Once a few years I give in to her penchant for expensive jewelry, to keep peace.

I don't wear any jewelry. My wife points out I also buy a few toys thru the years.
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Old 04-01-2012, 05:47 AM   #119
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I've been told all my life I'm supposed to want jewelry.
I hear you, Khan! I have one pair of gold post earrings I wear when I go out in public (what I call “going to town” J ).

Oh... I do wear a pair of dangly “snowflake” earrings at Christmas that I paid a couple bucks for at Newberry’s back in the ‘70s.

I don’t even wear my wedding band. Jewelry just seems to get in the way.
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Old 04-04-2012, 04:27 PM   #120
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Wow! Hard to believe, but at 129 sqft, it is even smaller than my motorhome (8'X25'). But the rent of $540/mo is probably really cheap for Tokyo. It even has a balcony!

Yes, a roof over our head, and four walls to keep out the cold. Add an AC for comfort in the summer heat, and that's all we need. Everything above it is "wants", my friends.

Ah, we early retirees who claim we are frugal are really just a bunch of hypocrites!
I'm not one to be frugal for frugality's sake. To me it's more about living within your means than trying to skimp on everything and anything just because you can. I run the hell out of our air conditioner in the summer. I like it hanging meat cold in the house. If you can afford it, why not?

I think being frugal is more about making smart choices. Nothing wrong with luxury but if that luxury doesn't bring you any happiness, why pay for it? That is a waste or money. On the other hand, trying to get what you want on the cheap isn't a bad thing either. Absolute denial in the name of saving money is, however.
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