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Old 06-06-2011, 05:12 PM   #101
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It's disconcerting because it's taboo in contemporary US society. But you're probably asking what rationale there is for the taboo. There might be one -- I don't know. But social taboos don't generally need rationales (though they will have histories).
I really do not think it is taboo in America . I was looking at the Sarasota magazine and very young women with much older guys is commonplace as is older women with much younger guys . The price is just very much higher than Thailand and the women are better educated and not bar women just society girls or opportunists .The result is the same the price is the difference and they will still call you darling as long as you pay for their lifestyle.
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Old 06-06-2011, 05:42 PM   #102
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I really do not think it is taboo in America . I was looking at the Sarasota magazine and very young women with much older guys is commonplace as is older women with much younger guys . The price is just very much higher than Thailand and the women are better educated and not bar women just society girls or opportunists .
I don't see this as contradicting my characterization. A taboo practice need not be rare. Price may perfectly well move a practice out of the taboo category. Taboo is a social prejudice, a traditional belief -- it doesn't have to make sense.
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Old 06-06-2011, 09:04 PM   #103
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Retired men in relationships with girls is a perennial expat forum topic, almost always started by someone who disapproves and isn't an expat. I've never seen it handled with the civility shown in this current discussion. Bravo.
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Old 06-06-2011, 09:11 PM   #104
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The fact that I am uncomfortable about middle aged rich men pulling young girls is just how I am.
It's one thing if they're chasing down those young girls and coercing them into the disconcerting behavior.

It's quite another thing when the middle-aged rich men are lining up like sheep for the shearing.
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Old 06-06-2011, 09:24 PM   #105
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You know what I find disconcerting? CEOs shipping jobs out of the US, making ridiculous salaries on top of their corporations paying no taxes.

Where is that on the morality outrage scale compared to shacking up with a Thai girl?

I love being a rockstar

"Cause we all just wanna be big rockstars
Livin' in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap
We'll all stay skinny cause we just won't eat
And we'll hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold digger's
Gonna wind up there
Every Playboy bunny
with her bleach blonde hair
And we'll hide out in the private rooms
With the latest dictionary
in today's who's who
We'll get you anything
with that evil smile
Everybody's got a
drug dealer on speed dial
well..
Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar"
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Old 06-06-2011, 10:38 PM   #106
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I'm still a little unclear on the "disconcerting" part:
The "cattle market" aspect on both sides is disconcerting. There's nothing sadder or funnier than an old guy with a young woman. He's delusional, she's probably frustrated........
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Old 06-07-2011, 06:37 AM   #107
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Retired men in relationships with girls is a perennial expat forum topic, almost always started by someone who disapproves and isn't an expat. I've never seen it handled with the civility shown in this current discussion. Bravo.
It's never been a topic on the expat forums I subscribe to.
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Old 06-07-2011, 06:42 AM   #108
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The "cattle market" aspect on both sides is disconcerting........
+1

At risk of further hijacking this tread away from the the topic that lured me here... the idea of living in the paradise of SE Asia..., I have to say that I, too, am personally uncomfortable with the "bartering" nature of social/sexual relationships. Please don't think that I am judging others... I'm just uncomfortable with it - always have been (perhaps that why I am still single).

I believe that the vast majority of men/women participating in this arrangement do so - eyes wide open, and that it is accepted custom (to the extent their country/culture allows). Let's face it... "arranged marriages" (have been around for centuries and were (still are) common practice for the betterment/profit of the families involved.

I'm a holdout (read: hopeless romantic), however, and believe that a relationship can be built on mutual love/respect/empathy.

Now if I could only find a cute, fit, intelligent woman in her late twenties with a father fetish
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Old 06-07-2011, 07:20 AM   #109
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The "cattle market" aspect on both sides is disconcerting. There's nothing sadder or funnier than an old guy with a young woman. He's delusional, she's probably frustrated........
I think both parties know exactly what is going on in the deal and both are happy with it or they wouldn't be doing it.
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Old 06-07-2011, 07:32 AM   #110
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It's never been a topic on the expat forums I subscribe to.
My statement was a generalization. I've found it discussed on groups with a country wide scope, e.g., thaivisa.com and the Yahoo groups LivingInThePhilippines3, Philippine_Living_Island_Paradise, or a city scope, like Cebu's livingincebuforums.com. Don't recall seeing in the groups for the two out of the mainstream towns I've lived in, Dumaguete and Hua Hin.
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Old 06-07-2011, 07:43 AM   #111
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The "cattle market" aspect on both sides is disconcerting. There's nothing sadder or funnier than an old guy with a young woman. He's delusional, she's probably frustrated........
I don't understand why anyone in a relationship would care what a complete stranger who disproves of the relationship thinks about it.
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Old 06-07-2011, 07:43 AM   #112
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So, in summation, human behavior is not now, now has it ever been, exemplary?
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Old 06-07-2011, 10:16 AM   #113
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I have to say that I, too, am personally uncomfortable with the "bartering" nature of social/sexual relationships.
I'm a holdout (read: hopeless romantic), however, and believe that a relationship can be built on mutual love/respect/empathy.
Now if I could only find a cute, fit, intelligent woman in her late twenties with a father fetish
So... how much are you willing to pay for the search?
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Old 06-07-2011, 11:16 AM   #114
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I think both parties know exactly what is going on in the deal and both are happy with it or they wouldn't be doing it.
The guy often thinks he's actually a stud.....it's called "hotness delusion syndrome"

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I don't understand why anyone in a relationship would care what a complete stranger who disproves of the relationship thinks about it.
They shouldn't care, and probably don't. There might be issues with family and close friends though. But looking at it optimistically a girlfriend young enough to be your daughter would have lots in common with your actual daughter and might get on well with your son as well.
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Old 06-07-2011, 11:20 AM   #115
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My statement was a generalization. I've found it discussed on groups with a country wide scope, e.g., thaivisa.com and the Yahoo groups LivingInThePhilippines3, Philippine_Living_Island_Paradise, or a city scope, like Cebu's livingincebuforums.com. Don't recall seeing in the groups for the two out of the mainstream towns I've lived in, Dumaguete and Hua Hin.
It's not a big topic on uk-yankee.com
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Old 06-07-2011, 11:27 AM   #116
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The guy often thinks he's actually a stud.....it's called "hotness delusion syndrome"

They shouldn't care, and probably don't. There might be issues with family and close friends though. But looking at it optimistically a girlfriend young enough to be your daughter would have lots in common with your actual daughter and might get on well with your son as well.
BTW, what is your dog in this race?
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Old 06-07-2011, 11:59 AM   #117
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BTW, what is your dog in this race?
Happily divorced and casually dating someone 7 years younger, so that 50 ans 43. I'm watching my friends deal with marriages and sending kids to college, I couldn't deal with the hassle. I'm hanging with a group of friends ranging from college age to middle age.....so I get a range of perspectives and the young old dynamic is seldom successful.
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Old 06-07-2011, 12:45 PM   #118
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Happily divorced and casually dating someone 7 years younger, so that 50 ans 43. I'm watching my friends deal with marriages and sending kids to college, I couldn't deal with the hassle. I'm hanging with a group of friends ranging from college age to middle age.....so I get a range of perspectives and the young old dynamic is seldom successful.
Successfully snickering on the other side of the world.

Market is up today.
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Old 06-07-2011, 01:07 PM   #119
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I think the issue boils down to tolerance. Relationships that are far out of the norm for a given society always attract a measure of ire, discomfort, derision, et al... from those within the norm.

(We find the same thing in PV with mid-50s retired men going with gay young handsome Mexican men. Although the retired men are not rich by our standards, they are by Mexican standards.)
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Old 06-07-2011, 01:50 PM   #120
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Closing the thread as inexpensive retirement in southeast Asia seems to no longer be of interest:

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