interview with the Kaderlis

[WM]

A nice interview with Billy and Akaisha Kaderli:

Retire Early!

[friar1610]

I had never previously heard of Billy and Akaisha Kaderli. But reading the link reminded me of Paul and Vicki Terhorst whose story is somewhat similar. (I've apereodically followed the Terhorsts for a number of years.) I went to the Terhorst web site to get the link to post here. It's Paul Terhorst Home Page Lo and behold, there is a link on the Terhorst web site to the Kaderli web site with an interview of the latter interviewing the former. Small world.

[gerrym51]

one thing with the Kaderlis. NO CHILDREN!

obviously not having kids makes a difference in money and flexibility.''


just an opinion

[Billy]

Yes, having a family makes one's whole life different. Not better or worse, just different.

One of the (seeming) 'knocks' on us and our ability to retire so early is that we didn't have children. No one seemed to believe us that you can raise a family and still retire - I mean, what do we know, right?

So we interviewed two families who are or have done just this.

Take a look. They have great information and are very inspirational.

Family on Track and Family with a Focus.

Be well, and keep the dream alive!

Akaisha
Author, The Adventurer's Guide to Early Retirement

[gerrym51]

did not expect a reply from you directly. It is still a choice.

i dragged my young children(at the time) to several states for
job changes. Made them change schools multiple times.( had to make
new friends) etc.


Have never really forgiven me.

your prompt reply leads me to belive this is a touchy subject.

[Billy]

Hi Gerry,

Actually, I think the timing was coincidence. We had this link in our inbox that our interview was mentioned. I checked the forum and simply thought I would contribute.

Having or not having children isn't a touchy subject with me. Retiring with them or without them isn't a touchy subject either... I was simply trying to contribute something worthwhile by offering the interviews we did. Our website is a fantastic resource for those wanting to learn about retirement. I thought you were sort of asking... and I was offering these interviews -- not just to you (sorry about that, no offense...) but to anyone who would be reading this thread.

I think both Mark and Stephanie, and Rick and Darlene have done a great job of getting their whole family on the same page. It's just what they did. It's one option of how they handled making their dream come true while still raising a family.

Sorry to hear that your kids haven't forgiven you... seems a long time to carry something painful forward. You did the best you could, I'm sure - in trying to find the best employment or whatever, and give your family the best you had to offer.

If they haven't forgiven you, shake it off. Know you did the best you could, now it's up to them to shape their lives. You can't control all of Life Itself.

I wish you well,

Akaisha
Author, The Adventurer's Guide to Early Retirement

[Nords]

Originally Posted by gerrym51

did not expect a reply from you directly. It is still a choice.
i dragged my young children(at the time) to several states for
job changes. Made them change schools multiple times.( had to make
new friends) etc.
Have never really forgiven me.
your prompt reply leads me to belive this is a touchy subject.

Kids & ER are definitely a choice, but I don't think they have to be mutually exclusive. Perpetual travel with kids is more challenging but ERs have done that too. Millions of kids have been raised by military parents with frequent moves & schools, but they cope with their parents just as well as any other teenagers.

The number of ERs on this board with kids far exceeds the number without kids. (It's been a while since the last tally, so you might want to start a poll.) It may even be possible that kids are a top motivator for ERs who want to be able to spend more time watching their families grow up.

ER while raising one or two kids-- no problem. A double-digit family-- definitely an obstacle. There's probably a breakpoint somewhere between 3-10 kids where FIRE is less of a choice and more of a fantasy.

"Touchy subject"? Not with the Kaderlis. I think your conclusion was based on interpreting the wrong info and might be different with more info.

I know that ERs of all family sizes are pretty tired of hearing "Oh, I can't ER like you, I have kids". But other threads on this board have set out a pretty clear picture that everyone has to make their own choice on raising kids, and the choice shouldn't be based on finances or ER achievability.

[gerrym51]

I apologize for drawing wrong interpretation.

my point was not can you retire early while having children-
obviously you can.

but the choices you make for them while taking them with you affect
them more than you think.

my children have never said directly anything to me about this.

but i can see know how my earlier choices affected them
more than i realized at the time.

[tomintucson]

Akaisha,

Such a graceful reply! I unfortunately hold onto a bit too much of the male fight-or-flight syndrome when faced with aggression. You've given me a helpful reminder that often the best response is to stand down.

I'm 49, retired 15 months. Straight, never married, no kids. On the one hand, I was never faced with the expense of kids. Conversely, I've never had a second household income. Kids are really expensive when provided the lavish lifestyle so many parents seem to think is necessary. I'm reminded of what the Chinese call the "Little Emperor" phenomenon, a nation of tens of millions of overly-coddled only children, the result of decades of a (necessary) one-child policy. I'm biased, as I grew up dirt poor by American standards. Food stamps, welfare, a chronically unemployed father in a family with nine children. So I worked hard from a very young age, mowing lawns, painting houses, etc. It's no thing- I was born a white American male. As such, I was automatically bestowed a life of privilege relative to most of my fellow man.


So once again, pardon my biases about the issue of who did or did not choose to have kids. And how so many parents choose to indulge their offspring. We always had enough food, a place to sleep, maybe even a little medical care thrown in. I turned out just fine.

[fisherman]

Originally Posted by Billy

Yes, having a family makes one's whole life different. Not better or worse, just different.

One of the (seeming) 'knocks' on us and our ability to retire so early is that we didn't have children. No one seemed to believe us that you can raise a family and still retire - I mean, what do we know, right?

So we interviewed two families who are or have done just this.

Take a look. They have great information and are very inspirational.

Family on Track and Family with a Focus.

Be well, and keep the dream alive!

Akaisha
Author, The Adventurer's Guide to Early Retirement

The Kaderli's, Nord's, and ESRBob were the inspiration for DW and my ERs at 43 with two kids. That was five months ago and it is just getting better everyday. We wanted to be a part of our kids lives and to teach them values they do not get in school. ER provides that time and so much more. Watching them learn to make good choices from seeing our actions not just words is very rewarding. I'll try to post many of the positives we have seen later.

Today is Mothers day and we are all cooking her dinner tonight, doing extra cleaning, and generally trying to make her day special after we visit my Mom which is next.

[two4theroad]

Originally Posted by gerrym51

did not expect a reply from you directly. It is still a choice.

i dragged my young children(at the time) to several states for
job changes. Made them change schools multiple times.( had to make
new friends) etc.


Have never really forgiven me.

your prompt reply leads me to belive this is a touchy subject.

Gerry,
I was a rugrat until I was 8 and then the child of an up and coming executive in a major corp after that. As such I went to 10 different schools by the time I graduated from high school. Many times I did my best to try to make my parents feel bad about moving me around so much. Such is the mentality of a teenager. They sympathized with my views but maintained that I would survive and be better for the experience.
THEY WERE RIGHT!
I have never met a stranger and can be thrust into difficult situations and always manage to come out with my head above water. I attribute much of this to my upbringing, including the moves and new experiences I received while meeting new friends and learning new routines in different places and schools.
Forgive yourself. You did not damage your children.
2fer

[lazygood4nothinbum]

2fer (you don't mind if i get informal right away, do you?) has me beat by 7 schools but i couldn't agree more. it is easy to place blame outside oneself, but i don't regret my parents moving about one bit. in each of my three high schools (new jersey, st. croix usvi & florida) i made good friends and had great times. i still even have friends (in fact, just now off the phone with one of them and spoke with another last night) from my very early childhood, many moves ago.

what i have learned during all this is that you never know how long a relationship will last, even long-lasting ones. you can meet someone, become friends for a year, move far away and wind up remaining friends for life. or you can have someone in your life for 20 or 40 years suddenly up & go, to never return, even while remaining in the same town. unless you are standing on a geological fault, location is not the determining factor of stability in neither relationships nor individuals.

vagabond lifestyles like akaisha & billy's completely intrigue me and i look forward to growing the seed my parents planted.

"don't tell me how educated you are, tell me how much you have traveled."~~ the prophet mohammed

[dex]

Akaisha, Billy,
I met these people recently and showed them your site. They were biking from Washington State to Arizona. I suggested that they contact you (I thought you were in Thailand at the time. They have a boat in Thailand (now).

Sail Ariel Home

[bongo2]

Originally Posted by Nords

The number of ERs on this board with kids far exceeds the number without kids. (It's been a while since the last tally, so you might want to start a poll.) It may even be possible that kids are a top motivator for ERs who want to be able to spend more time watching their families grow up.

I think this is the last poll: How many children

While 2/3 of the people on this board have kids, the rest of the country is more like 80%.

[Billy]

Tomintuscon

Akaisha,
Such a graceful reply! I unfortunately hold onto a bit too much of the male fight-or-flight syndrome when faced with aggression. You've given me a helpful reminder that often the best response is to stand down.

Thank you for your kind words. I do appreciate them.

I know how easy it is to get wrapped up in defending a position or attacking another out of misunderstanding.
After doing so much traveling around the world and seeing all these human beings - different sizes, shapes, colors, customs, ages, and so on… it has afforded me to understand that we are all human. We all have similar tendencies and deep seated needs - like wanting to be heard or wanting to matter -- hoping we didn’t blow it somehow in Life.

On some level I think we all have felt that feeling of possibly having made a terrible mistake out of ignorance or selfishness…

We could all use a bit of compassion…


Fisherman

The Kaderli's, Nord's, and ESRBob were the inspiration for DW and my ERs at 43 with two kids. That was five months ago and it is just getting better everyday. We wanted to be a part of our kids lives and to teach them values they do not get in school. ER provides that time and so much more. Watching them learn to make good choices from seeing our actions not just words is very rewarding. I'll try to post many of the positives we have seen later.

Today is Mothers day and we are all cooking her dinner tonight, doing extra cleaning, and generally trying to make her day special after we visit my Mom which is next.

That’s just perfect. Actually spending time together as a family, getting to know each other as people and as beings. Taking your role actively as a parent. How rewarding for all of you. Best in all ways, Fish!

Two4theroad

I have never met a stranger and can be thrust into difficult situations and always manage to come out with my head above water. I attribute much of this to my upbringing, including the moves and new experiences I received while meeting new friends and learning new routines in different places and schools.
Forgive yourself. You did not damage your children.
2fer

2fer I completely agree with you. This is the stand we take. You were given an opportunity and you have benefited from this. Sure, it stretched your (childhood) limits, but you made the most of it -- you met the challenge. And now, you have skills that other people with a more ‘stable’ background don’t necessarily have.

There are pros and cons for both sides of the coin.

LG4N

unless you are standing on a geological fault, location is not the determining factor of stability in neither relationships nor individuals.

Couldn’t have said it better.


Dex

Akaisha, Billy,

I met these people recently and showed them your site. They were biking from Washington State to Arizona. I suggested that they contact you (I thought you were in Thailand at the time. They have a boat in Thailand (now).

Thanks, Dex. Hopefully they will contact us one way or another. We are always available via email. They look like they are having a blast.

Thanks all,
Be well all ways,
Akaisha
Author, The Adventurer’s Guide to Early Retirement

[chinaco]

I applaud Billy and Akaisha on their decision and choice to have adventures in travel.

Keep those posts of your adventures flowing to your web site... it keeps a number of us inspired.

[Billy]

Thanks, Chinaco.

How are you doing?

If I remember correctly, you were up against some ER decisions yourself. Are things becoming clearer for you?

Everyone has a different idea of how they want their lives to go… and that’s as it should be.

Keep the dream alive!

Akaisha
Author, The Adventurer’s Guide to Early Retirement