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Old 08-07-2012, 04:08 PM   #21
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One day they were driving along and approached a traffic light. Leona had started to become aware that her own vision was deteriorating, so she asked Mom "Is that light red or green?"
Mom's reply was "What light?"
On one of my submarines in 1992, we had a sailor who'd been in the service in the 1960s. He got out in 1966 and re-enlisted in 1982, so despite his broken service he was close to his pension. He had just turned 50 so the crew called him "Grandpa".

Grandpa had lived a hard life of smokin' & drinkin' & motorcyclin', and there might have been some other Ozzie-Osbourne style neurological damage as well. He was regarded as reliable but limited in his abilities. However by some miracle he'd made Chief Petty Officer on the last promotion cycle, so it was time for him to start qualifying as Diving Officer of the Watch.

One of the practical factors for DOOW is to take the submarine to periscope depth at night. The control room is rigged for black, so that the Officer of the Deck can see out of the periscope without losing his night vision. The only illumination comes from the red-backlit numbers on the various gauges.

Grandpa assumed the "Under Instruction" DOOW (supervised by the qualified DOOW). I was the OOD. I'd done the usual sonar safety search at a depth of 150 feet, briefed all the participants, and everyone was ready to go. Grandpa had needed a little extra time to get his buoyancy trim all tweaked out, but we'd learned long ago not to rush the guy. He'd seen the boat go to PD a million times while standing other watches in the control room (back when I was in kindergarten, too), and he was familiar with the procedure. We rigged control for black, with eerie red numbers floating where the gauges used to be. I phoned the CO and got his permission to go to PD. I raised the periscope and started looking around, and I gave the orders:
Me: "DOOW, make your depth 68 feet."
Grandpa: "Make my depth 68 feet, aye. Stern Planes, two degree up bubble. Helm, make your depth 68 feet."
(20 seconds of silence.)
DOOW: (whispering a hint to Grandpa): "Hey, man, you're supposed to be calling the depths off every 10 feet as we go up."
Grandpa: (Loudly) "Call off the depths? I can't even SEE the depths!"
Me: "DOOW, make your depth 150 feet."
As we headed back down to 150 feet, the CO phoned the conn on the handset: "OOD, WTF is going on in there?"

We eventually decided that Grandpa didn't need to qualify as DOOW. A few months later he finished his sea duty and reached retirement eligibility at a training command... probably with a significant VA disability rating, too.
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Old 08-08-2012, 12:39 PM   #22
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The doctors have said to take away the keys from my 83 year old mother. She has some dementia and gets somewhat confused but always makes it home ok. I really don't worry that much so long as she stays in the neighborhood but what if she goes farther?
Evidently there are no young children in her neighborhood who might happen to be playing in or run into the street.

When my mother's vision deteriorated to the point where she had a couple minor parking lot barrier bumps, I mentioned to her they could have been children. That got her thinking enough to overcome her resistance to stop driving.

And if your mother still won't take killing someone else as a good enough reason, remind her she will be sitting penniless in prison after the doctor has to testify at her trial that he told her she was unfit to drive.
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Old 08-08-2012, 08:41 PM   #23
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The doctors have said to take away the keys from my 83 year old mother. She has some dementia and gets somewhat confused but always makes it home ok. I really don't worry that much so long as she stays in the neighborhood but what if she goes farther? She has always been sweet but absolutely goes ballistic if I try to take the keys or 'borrow' her car to keep her from driving. She then has NO trouble remembering my phone number and will call every 20 minutes to nag me to give her car back or the keys. She even threatens to call the police and report it stolen ! She has also called the dealer to bring new keys and a battery ( when I disconnected it). It is so frustrating I have been tempted to tell her to just go ahead and wreck it!
We had to take the keys away from my mother before. I noticed one time that she kind of drove down the road wiggly (best description I could think of). That was the last time she drove. At first we kept the car and we used it, but after a while we sold it because seeing it in the driveway reminded her.
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Old 08-09-2012, 06:56 AM   #24
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The problem with FIL has resolved itself in spite of the State of Maryland's determination that he is fit to drive. The car needs some serious maintenance work, he doesn't have the money for it, no one else volunteered to pay for it, and he's too proud to ask.

I think he does know that he shouldn't be driving.

In any event, that issue is finally resolved and the people of the State of Maryland are now safe, at least from him.
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Old 08-09-2012, 07:09 AM   #25
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The problem with FIL has resolved itself in spite of the State of Maryland's determination that he is fit to drive. The car needs some serious maintenance work, he doesn't have the money for it, no one else volunteered to pay for it, and he's too proud to ask.

I think he does know that he shouldn't be driving.

In any event, that issue is finally resolved and the people of the State of Maryland are now safe, at least from him.
That is a good non-confrontational way to achieve what you always saw as the required outcome.
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Old 08-09-2012, 11:24 AM   #26
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My 90-year old neighbor had a narrowing of vision incident while driving and it scared her pretty good. She was still on the fence about giving up her keys for good so I laid on the guilt (she's Catholic so it worked well) about how she would have felt if she had killed or injured someone by driving into oncoming traffic instead of being able to get over to the right and stop until it was over. I also told her she could kiss all her savings goodbye even if she had a relatively minor injury accident because she would be sued (FL). She decided she was done.

She gave her car to one of the residents in her building who drives her around. DH and I will also take her wherever she needs to go. The complex also has a bus that goes to grocery stores and churches and events. She can afford to pay for cabs or county senior busses so she has lots of options.
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Old 08-09-2012, 12:50 PM   #27
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I found my late MIL had driving issues when, after she passed, we found a check from the insurance company paying for repairs to the car for side swiping a wall and hitting a gas pump.
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