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Old 06-21-2014, 07:39 AM   #41
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Originally Posted by martyp View Post
I don't think I am buying into the premise of the article. It mentions toward the end that almost no couple retires at the same time. What is so unusual about one person retiring before the other?
Nobody said it was unusual.

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Old 06-21-2014, 09:39 AM   #42
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My husband is almost 10 years older than me. He thought he'd work until age 67 or older. His work started slowing down significantly - with him working part time to VERY part time after 2009. (One firm he worked for closed down when he was the last employee - he and his project were handed off to another firm until he wrapped up that project.)

As he worked less - he picked up more household duties - mainly getting the kids to/from school. Last year they went to two different schools and the only way it worked was with him doing the bulk of the driving. He also took his good cooking skills to another level of awesomeness... so it became common to come home to fresh raviolis from scratch - with homemade pesto made from basil he grew in the garden. He retired all the way in January when he turned 62.

I started talking about retiring in 2015... he expressed nervousness about it. Would it be too much togetherness? Time will tell since I retired on Thursday.

What's different than most (except maybe FUEGO) - we still have minor children at home... so we won't have a chance to really see if we groove together as retired folks until they go off to college.

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Old 06-21-2014, 09:42 AM   #43
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We have worked at the right routine to get out of each others' hair so that we have different experiences to talk about each day. I have my hiking/biking buddies and she has her yoga and lunching buddies.
For the fun of it...Keith
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Old 06-21-2014, 09:58 AM   #44
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Originally Posted by Mulligan View Post
I am in a very unique spot.
We've all sensed that you're unique right from the beginning Mulligan!
she can't afford the risk of me dying.
And this is how you want it to be. Protective and practical to a fault, I have insurance, survivor benefits, etc., set up so that DW would be at least as well off financially without me as with me. I've been rethinking that a bit lately..........
"I wasn't born blue blood. I was born blue-collar." John Wort Hannam
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Old 06-21-2014, 10:03 AM   #45
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DW RE'd at 55 yo. I think her plan was that I'd work until I was 115. That was derailed when MegaCorp canned my sorry ass at 58, 3 years after DW RE'd. She agreed to allow me to call my termination retirement and her 3 years of being home while I worked ended.

She said she misses me working. That was 8 years ago this month.
"I wasn't born blue blood. I was born blue-collar." John Wort Hannam
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Old 06-22-2014, 12:33 PM   #46
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Originally Posted by Totoro View Post
You can always say you are an artist or philosopher
Just tell her you're an out of work paramour aggressively searching for new positions.
Retired in 2013 at age 33. Keeping busy reading, blogging, relaxing, gaming, and enjoying the outdoors with my wife and 3 kids (4, 10, and 11).
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Old 06-22-2014, 02:37 PM   #47
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Originally Posted by JustCurious View Post
I get what you are saying and I agree. But the problem is a woman who views you as a deadbeat may come to the wrong conclusion and reject you for the wrong reason. She could be neutral on the issue, but if she thinks you are a deadbeat, she will want to find someone who is at least not a deadbeat.
This is a good point. However when I was dating I figured there are plenty of them out there, and I was not trying to tie anyone up, so why not have a truth detector in place? Another idea is to wear one at least moderately expensive item of clothing, like good shoes. Women notice everything, they will certainly notice expensive shoes. Or if it is something requiring a tie, for $75 to $125 you can always get a beautiful Emilio Zegna tie which can be used over and over. But these are not enough to set off gold digger jonesing.

Also one's speech tells a lot.

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Old 06-22-2014, 03:02 PM   #48
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I was completely retired for about 2 years before my wife retired. Things worked out pretty well for us during that period, but I either learned or intuited a few things that probably helped the process:

- If she wanted to get a walk/run in before work, she had to get up at 5:15. (We had done this together while we were both working.) I figured out pretty quickly that rolling over and saying, "I think I'll do my workout later" was not a big hit. So I got up and we did it together. (I won't say I never went back to bed after she left for work.) But I think if the retired spouse can more or less adhere to the schedule of the working spouse it goes a long way toward amicability.

- We had employed a guy to mow the lawn and a lady to clean the house weekly for a few years. I had already figured out that with less income and more time on my hands, it would make sense to rediscover the lawnmower and also to take over a big weekly house cleaning. The house cleaning, in particular, went over well since for many years she was a SAHM and got to do all that. Plus, I did a better job than the cleaning lady and I would even "do" windows.

- I am pretty useless in the kitchen, so I did not have a nice meal prepared when she got home. BUT, if she said, "I don't want to cook tonight; let's go out," I always said "Great idea!" whether or not I really wanted to go out.

- If there was an errand or chore she was feeling like she had to do during the next weekend but didn't really want to, I would always volunteer to do it during the preceding week. Fortunately, she often felt that my skill set didn't measure up to completing the task properly, so I was off the hook but still got credit for offering.

The above said, for those two years I had a two day per week, 6 hour a day volunteer gig that kept me busy and occupied those days. So she realized that in addition to things I mention above, I wasn't just sitting around all day eating ice cream or drinking beer.

Just my experience. YMMV.

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