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Old 01-14-2012, 07:45 AM   #21
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I just tell them I'm on sabbatical. Then after a few years, maybe on hiatus, then after a few years, on a quest. Then after a few years ....
I'm bookmarking this answer...perfect!
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Old 01-14-2012, 07:53 AM   #22
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I have a big family. My siblings applaud my actions. Many of my nephews and nieces and our kids see DW and I as role models for sensible work/life balance.
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Old 01-14-2012, 08:09 AM   #23
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....On the other hand, my 60 year old sister is fairly unhappy that I was the first of us three to retire. By her choice, up until a few years ago she's always had jobs that were 'fun' or 'fulfilling' but that did not offer decent wages or benefits and no retirement plans or pensions. Then a few years ago, after her divorce, she realized that she needed a job that provided some security, as well as wages and benefits (even if it wasn't 'fun') that would allow her to retire sometime prior to her 100th birthday. She'll be able to retire and collect a pension in about five years, at 65.

She has expressed some jealousy over my early retirement and the freedom that I have, and has made digs about it. But I just shrug it off and figure that all three of us had about the same start in life. And each of us chose different routes in life. Therefore, our lives are what each of us made them, nothing more and nothing less.
Strange how some people are unwilling to accept the cumulative effect of the decisions that they have made. If something good happens to a friend or family, I'm happy for them, not jealous of them. Be it good decisions or luck, good for them!!! Life is too short to bear grudges.
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Old 01-14-2012, 08:27 AM   #24
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I don't communicate with any of the people that share my DNA.
Smart move (me neither )...
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Old 01-14-2012, 08:28 AM   #25
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Life is too short to bear grudges.
Let me introduce you to my "blood" relatives...
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Old 01-14-2012, 08:31 AM   #26
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I have three sisters. One is older than me and still working and will probably work until she can't due to a series of really bad (financially) things she did. Next younger sister is married to a hard working man and I believe they are FI and don't know it or don't say it. This sister does not work. Youngest sister is financially strapped and needs infrequent bailout from me. All expressed their congratulations on my FIRE and I have not detected any jealousy.
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Old 01-14-2012, 08:39 AM   #27
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My brother who retired at 52 asked me why I was still working at 59. He said, you're not one of "those people" are you?
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Old 01-14-2012, 08:44 AM   #28
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Both my sisters (younger) have known for some time that I intend to retire next year. If they have a problem with it, I haven't detected it. However, we live about 1000 miles apart, and I don't see them that often.
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Old 01-14-2012, 08:54 AM   #29
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After I ERed in late 2008, I went to my brother's place for Thanksgiving. We spoke about it for a while but I detected no real jealousy. He and his wife (who works from home) and young son live in a McMansion and my brother owns his own business and is a go-getter so he, nearly 44 now, is not retiring any time soon. He did ask me for the spreadsheet I developed as I putting together my ER budget and I gave him a blank template of it.
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Old 01-14-2012, 09:25 AM   #30
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Why even the need to respond ? I would move on with my life and think about more important things than relatives' jealous comments.
+1

I don't see either OP or the so-called jealous relative as having chosen the better life style. It's up to each of them.

No issues with folks being jealous of my FIRE'd status here that I'm aware of. I never bring my retired status up, offer financial advise or mention tools such as books, spreadsheets, etc., that were helpful to me. Why? Everyone is dealt their own hand and they play it the way they choose. There is nothing superior about my choices, they're just the way I wanted to do it.
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Old 01-14-2012, 09:35 AM   #31
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My brother who retired at 52 asked me why I was still working at 59. He said, you're not one of "those people" are you?
This is perfect! A 180 degree turn-about of OP's situation! And the best reason why respecting everyone's lifestyle choices is the way to go.

In my own case, having retired at 58 (not really all that early, but earlier than many) I'd be open for ridicule from both sides. Folks who managed to RE earlier would question why I worked so darn long. Did I just throw my money away and totally fail to plan? Folks still struggling to climb out of the harness at 65 might see my thriftiness as missed opportunities to enjoy age-appropriate activities in life as the years went by, and there is some truth to that.

What drives people to have such a need to validate their own life decisions? Why is there such questioning and ridicule of others who don't walk exactly the same path we do?
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Old 01-14-2012, 09:41 AM   #32
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I have a brother and 2 sisters, all younger than me, and they are not jealous of me, at least not that I am aware of, which is what counts. They certainly are pleased for me.

My brother is closest in age at 54 yr old, loves his job in Australia, funds his pension and now has the attitude of being set for retirement at 65 and is going to have a great time between now and then. He currently is in the middle of taking his family on a long vacation. He has his wife, son, 2 daughters and 2 grandchildren with him. They have been in Hong Kong, England and Vancouver, currently are in Whistler for the snow, then they'll be going onto Las Vegas, Hawaii and back to Queensland.
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Old 01-14-2012, 10:00 AM   #33
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Oooo....so longing to make a "political" comment here, must restrain self...

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What drives people to have such a need to validate their own life decisions? Why is there such questioning and ridicule of others who don't walk exactly the same path we do?
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Old 01-14-2012, 10:48 AM   #34
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In my best (or worst) Forrest Gump voice, "Life is like a box of 'chocklits'". But I would be thinking "Run, Forrest, RUN!".
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Old 01-14-2012, 10:58 AM   #35
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In my best (or worst) Forrest Gump voice, "Life is like a box of 'chocklits'". But I would be thinking "Run, Forrest, RUN!".
I like it!

+1 4 me....

IOW, what you think of me is none of my businesss....
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Old 01-14-2012, 12:36 PM   #36
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We must be supergood at making this enjoying-retirement stuff stay under the radar--not only are siblings not jealous, some of them have expressed concern that DH has not been able to find work for three years (even tho dd had a retirement party for him at the time).
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Old 01-14-2012, 07:59 PM   #37
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pb4uski

Strange how some people are unwilling to accept the cumulative effect of the decisions that they have made. If something good happens to a friend or family, I'm happy for them, not jealous of them. Be it good decisions or luck, good for them!!! Life is too short to bear grudges.
I feel the same way! I've always been happy when someone I know...whether a friend or relative or general acquaintance....had something good come their way. Good for them!!! I think part of that comes from the fact that I was always taught to be thankful for and content with what I had!
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Old 01-14-2012, 08:08 PM   #38
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I don't communicate with any of the people that share my DNA.
Is that just a statement of fact? Is it something you are proud of or wish it could be different? I talk to my brother and sister once a week. We love to keep up with what is going on in our families. We are very close and plan to continue the communication. Can't imagine anything else.
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Old 01-14-2012, 08:17 PM   #39
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When he makes these comments, we just smile.
...and then post messages on the Internet.
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Old 01-14-2012, 08:20 PM   #40
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Is that just a statement of fact? Is it something you are proud of or wish it could be different? I talk to my brother and sister once a week. We love to keep up with what is going on in our families. We are very close and plan to continue the communication. Can't imagine anything else.
I don't see the point.

I was in contact in '03, then Mother died. I did attempt some communication in '08, but realized I had nothing in common with any of them.

Dropped and blocked all of them. I wouldn't communicate with any of them if we were not related, why should I do so just because of DNA?

'Family' is highly overrated.
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