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Old 01-14-2012, 08:40 PM   #41
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I have no brothers or sisters. So...no problem with jealousy.

Yep...I'm an only child. You know what they say about an only child...
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Old 01-14-2012, 08:46 PM   #42
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You know what they say about an only child...
You mean the "Thank goodness!" your parents were always saying?
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Old 01-14-2012, 08:58 PM   #43
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You mean the "Thank goodness!" your parents were always saying?
Probably....

I've been around people that know I'm an only child and will make remarks about only children being selfish, brats, no sensitivity, withdrawn and lonely. Some have even said an only child is more likely to be a serial killer.

....yep...to my face.

It's times like these I usually blow whatever drink I'm sipping out of my nose.
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Old 01-14-2012, 10:16 PM   #44
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Probably....
I've been around people that know I'm an only child and will make remarks about only children being selfish, brats, no sensitivity, withdrawn and lonely. Some have even said an only child is more likely to be a serial killer.
....yep...to my face.
It's times like these I usually blow whatever drink I'm sipping out of my nose.
I think our only offspring is overly sensitive to her peers' commentary, and also lacking in those psychological-warfare skills so keenly honed by siblings upon each other.

She used to pine for a little sister or brother, but we told her it was all her fault that we thought our family was the right size. Now that she has to share a dorm bathroom with seven of her closest friends, she's decided that being an only wasn't so bad after all.
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Old 01-15-2012, 06:20 AM   #45
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I wouldn't communicate with any of them if we were not related, why should I do so just because of DNA?

'Family' is highly overrated.
I am with Khan on this one (mostly). I go the extra mile to overlook bad behavior from family, and don't write them off as quickly as people with whom I am not related, but once someone crosses the line more than a few times, its time to 'cut the cord', so to speak.

After a few strikes, if the person (whoever it is), causes you more stress/pain/unhappiness in your life than happiness, why bother? I don't quite understand why more people, with dysfunctional families don't just go their separate ways when the situation warrants it.
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Old 01-15-2012, 07:36 AM   #46
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I have no brothers or sisters. So...no problem with jealousy.

Yep...I'm an only child. You know what they say about an only child...
Sure don't think what they say fits you LOL. I am an only too.
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Old 01-15-2012, 08:38 AM   #47
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Probably....

I've been around people that know I'm an only child and will make remarks about only children being selfish, brats, no sensitivity, withdrawn and lonely. Some have even said an only child is more likely to be a serial killer.

....yep...to my face. .
Don't listen to them, they are only trying to feel better about their own sorry selves. Isn't it odd that the people with the most ignorant opinions, always seem eager to share them?

Some people seem to have leaped on "Birth Order" as a way of justifying "I am stuck being a certain way and there's little I can do about it."

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I don't quite understand why more people, with dysfunctional families don't just go their separate ways when the situation warrants it.
I know a lot of folks who have "cut off" family members - even their parents! - or have a sibling who has done so. Literally, never talked to them again. Distancing oneself, I can totally understand, but it would take something beyond disagreement or incompatibility to cause me to cut all ties.

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Old 01-15-2012, 09:05 AM   #48
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Does anybody have relatives that are jealous about your early retirement? We have several. In particular, my brother-in-law constantly calls us "retarded" (his joke instead of calling us retired). He is our age, a doctor. We think he would like to follow us, but doesn't want to give up his current income stream.

When he makes these comments, we just smile.
I have a few friends and relatives that are doctors. In all cases, being a doctor is a huge part of their identity and ego. I suspect that your brother-in-law is envious of you since you're retired, but wouldn't consider retiring himself because his self esteem would take a big hit because he would no longer be a practicing doctor. Also as you noted, it's difficult to give up a doctor's income. Sometimes I think it's much easier for people with lower esteemed jobs to retire. I was a computer programmer before I retired and I had no problem letting that career go because it made up a small(er) part of my identity.
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Old 01-15-2012, 11:13 AM   #49
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In my best (or worst) Forrest Gump voice, "Life is like a box of 'chocklits'". But I would be thinking "Run, Forrest, RUN!".
My favorite Forrest Gump quote is after he explains that Lt Dan invested money in a fruit company (visual of someone holding stock with Apple logo appears), and after that, "we didn't have to worry about money no more... and that's a GOOD thing!".
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Old 01-15-2012, 11:23 AM   #50
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I find the posts regarding lack of communication with family interesting. I thought I was unusual in that regard, but perhaps it's more common than I realized.

In my own case, while I speak to my parents every week or two, we don't see each other often (my dad even tried to joke with me when we had dinner together, saying once a year whether we need it or not). They conducted their lives in a manner where decisions were made for his career, even telling me to get out of the house at 16 because I was in the way of his desires. Two siblings, one the lack of communication is intentional, while the other it just sort of happened due to distance and life activities. It is sad in a way, but things have happened that I wouldn't put up with from someone who isn't related, so why do it with a relative? That doesn't give you an automatic pass, which my one sibling seems to feel it does.
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Old 01-15-2012, 11:42 AM   #51
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I don't see the point.

I was in contact in '03, then Mother died. I did attempt some communication in '08, but realized I had nothing in common with any of them.

Dropped and blocked all of them. I wouldn't communicate with any of them if we were not related, why should I do so just because of DNA?

'Family' is highly overrated.
While I understand your view and know many people who have not communicated with parents or siblings for years or more, it has never made sense to me. To me, family is everything. If one of my four sisters, who live thousands of miles away, had a family emergency and needed me, I would be on the next available plane, no questions asked. And they would do the same for me (I think )

We don't talk everyday, and our interests in life have drifted in different directions but we still keep in touch and see each other at least every other year.

But if no contact works for you, good for you.
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Old 01-15-2012, 03:30 PM   #52
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While I understand your view and know many people who have not communicated with parents or siblings for years or more, it has never made sense to me. To me, family is everything.
You can have mine, and I'll even throw in my parents-in-law for free. We'll chat again after a few months of getting to know each other...
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Old 01-15-2012, 05:36 PM   #53
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You can have mine, and I'll even throw in my parents-in-law for free. We'll chat again after a few months of getting to know each other...
Mine too.
One big happy family.
Do murder/suicide rates really go up around holidays?
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Old 01-15-2012, 06:19 PM   #54
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....I talk to my brother and sister once a week. We love to keep up with what is going on in our families. We are very close and plan to continue the communication. Can't imagine anything else.
My siblings and I have never been close, and still aren't. One is 900 miles away to the east, the other almost that far to the west, and we rarely see each other and VERY seldom talk by phone.

My brother and I talk every few months, and we actually saw each other last year for the first time in about 10 years. He and I are a LOT alike and we always have a good time when we do talk or see each other!

My sister and I talk 'maybe' once a year at most. Other than parentage (and I sometimes question that! Ha!), she and I have nothing in common. She's always been very egocentric, and she's always felt that she was short-changed as a kid because she wasn't born with a silver spoon in her mouth like a few of her friends were. Sorry Sis, we were poor folks...get over it!

She wrote my folks a couple of nasty letters pretty much stating that she hated them and didn't want anything to do with them or me. The last such letter was to my Mom a couple of years ago. Both Mom and I are more than willing and content to oblige her.

Relatives a extremely over-rated sometimes!
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Old 01-15-2012, 06:40 PM   #55
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.....She wrote my folks a couple of nasty letters pretty much stating that she hated them and didn't want anything to do with them or me. The last such letter was to my Mom a couple of years ago. Both Mom and I are more than willing and content to oblige her. .....
I guess that I am lucky. If I had a sister like you describe I would be willing to oblige her too.
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Old 01-16-2012, 08:37 AM   #56
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She's always been very egocentric, and she's always felt that she was short-changed as a kid because she wasn't born with a silver spoon in her mouth like a few of her friends were.
Goonie, you must be a long lost sibling of mine, that's my sister you're talking about!
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Old 01-16-2012, 10:04 AM   #57
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Goonie, you must be a long lost sibling of mine, that's my sister you're talking about!
Your sister and Goonie's sister should have married rich men or into families with money...

Funny true story...A hunting buddy of mine went thru a bad divorce. He got over that, (mentally), and lost his factory job a couple years later. He was just another Joe Smuck. Not a pot to piss in. Well...Joe Smuck soon met this wonderful rich woman with wonderful rich family a year or so later after all that. Now, the married Joe Smuck hunts with me in the fall, winters in Costa Rica and Tampa, (loves to fish), and lives in the summers near Asheville! No more work for him! The life of Riley! And here I am still toiling along...It just ain't fair!

Sorry for the twist in the thread...And yes, my family is dysfunctional and I keep my distance...However, I am in the Class of 2014!
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Old 01-16-2012, 02:06 PM   #58
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....Funny true story...A hunting buddy of mine went thru a bad divorce. He got over that, (mentally), and lost his factory job a couple years later. He was just another Joe Smuck. Not a pot to piss in. Well...Joe Smuck soon met this wonderful rich woman with wonderful rich family a year or so later after all that. Now, the married Joe Smuck hunts with me in the fall, winters in Costa Rica and Tampa, (loves to fish), and lives in the summers near Asheville! No more work for him! The life of Riley! And here I am still toiling along...It just ain't fair!.....
and it sounds like you are happy for him and his twist of luck rather than jealous like some others we are talking about in this thread would be. I would be happy for him too (and asking if his new wife has any eligible sisters!).
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Old 01-16-2012, 02:20 PM   #59
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and it sounds like you are happy for him and his twist of luck rather than jealous like some others we are talking about in this thread would be. I would be happy for him too (and asking if his new wife has any eligible sisters!).
Just one more example of how superior we ERs are to those we dish about on our forum.

This site really does raise one's self esteem!

Ha
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Old 01-16-2012, 02:23 PM   #60
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My sister is 3 years younger and overall supportive, probably because our father FIREd at 55. I think she wishes I were even less busy so I could visit my mother more often (they live in the same town so she has the brunt of the "taking care of Mom" responsibilities, while I'm halfway across the country). However, we decided after I REd to change Mom's will so that my sister gets more than I do from the estate, both in compensation for the time she spends now as well as the fact that I am already FI. I think that helped her get over any real jealousy.
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