Jokes for My Nearly Retired Accountant Friend

[ImThinkin2019]

My accountant friend is about 2 weeks away from his departure date. I am trying to find some "safe for work" jokes and/or pics to send him regularly until he goes.

I have mined the Funny Joke Thursday threads and taken what I could. Do you guys have anything else that I could use?

Thanks!

 

[Chuckanut]

A business owner tells her friend that she is desperately searching for an accountant.


Her friend asks, "Didn't your company hire an accountant a short while ago?"


The business owner replies, "That's the accountant I've been searching for."​

 

[Chuckanut]

Two accountants are in a bank when armed robbers burst in. While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line the customers up against a wall and proceed to take their wallets, watches, and other valuables. In the midst of the chaos, accountant No. 1 jams something in accountant No. 2’s hand. Without looking down, accountant No. 2 whispers, "What is this?" to which accountant number one replies, "It's that $50 I owe you."

​

 

[Chuckanut]

An accountant meets a very attractive woman at a bar. After a few drinks to get his courage up he tells her:

"You're the kind of girl I could take home to mother - which is good, since I still live with her."

 

[Big_Hitter]

Ever heard of an extroverted accountant? He stares at your shoes when he's talking.

 

[freebird5825]

I did a search on "accountant cartoons" and went to the Bing images link.
Talk about a treasure trove. All you have to do is select one, right click, copy, and paste.
accountant cartoons - Bing Images

 

[freebird5825]

Here's some word jokes
Accountant jokes

A businessman was interviewing job applications for the position of manager of a large division. He quickly devised a test for choosing the most suitable candidate. He simply asked each applicant this question, "What is two plus two?"
The first interviewee was a journalist. His answer was, "Twenty-two".
The second was a social worker. She said, "I don't know the answer but I'm very glad that we had the opportunity to discuss it."
The third applicant was an engineer. He pulled out a slide rule and came up with an answer "somewhere between 3.999 and 4.001."
Next came an attorney. He stated that "in the case of Jenkins vs. the Department of the Treasury, two plus two was proven to be four."
Finally, the businessman interviewed an accountant. When he asked him what two plus two was, the accountant got up from his chair, went over to the door, closed it, came back and sat down.
Leaning across the desk, he said in a low voice, "How much do you want it to be?"
He got the job.