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Old 10-30-2010, 11:40 AM   #21
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So sorry to hear of your losses, Scott, and those of our other members. DH was saying this morning that he's give a lot of thought lately to living in the moment and trying to really experience what is going on, instead of thinking ahead to the next thing, the next week, the next whatever. It is hard to put into practice.
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Old 10-30-2010, 12:25 PM   #22
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Scott and Moe, I am so sorry for your dear children's losses. I can't even imagine the pain. Scott, that was great of you and your DW to take care of your grandchildren for 7 months. It must have been extremely hard when they moved away. It is great that you do have such a great relationship with him. It is not easy to lose friends either and we do need to live in the present more. Not always easy for me either.
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Old 10-30-2010, 01:34 PM   #23
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Very sorry to read this Scott. My condolences.

Take care
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Old 10-30-2010, 03:04 PM   #24
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Quote:
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If I knew I was going to die year , I would spend a lot of money doing various things.
Me too, but after I made bail I'd count on dying before the prosecution could bring the indictments to trial...
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Old 10-30-2010, 03:14 PM   #25
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Originally Posted by Sarah in SC View Post
DH was saying this morning that he's give a lot of thought lately to living in the moment and trying to really experience what is going on, instead of thinking ahead to the next thing, the next week, the next whatever. It is hard to put into practice.
I do this pretty well. For me, it makes daily life much simpler. However, it doesn't really help with the fear and dread around death, mine or others.

Ha
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Old 10-30-2010, 03:36 PM   #26
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I am trying to live my life so that if I went at any moment, I wouldn't leave with any regrets. I guess that's one reason why I don't have a "bucket list". I think I would feel a tension between the urge to complete my list before it's too late and the desire to be content with my life as it is in the here and now. So I try to do fun, interesting and rewarding things right now, while still prudently saving for the future. But if somebody gets rich because I die before I run out of money, that also will be fine with me.
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Old 10-30-2010, 04:39 PM   #27
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So I try to do fun, interesting and rewarding things right now, while still prudently saving for the future. But if somebody gets rich because I die before I run out of money, that also will be fine with me.
+1. To me, this is one of the totally incomprehensible concerns that sometimes get discussed here. If you are well centered in today, you are certainly not apt to be going around trying to find ways to be sure that you die flat.

I would be happy to leave some money when I die, even though my children do not really need it. What I would not be very happy about is worrying about whether I will have to ask for financial help myself.

Ha
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Old 10-30-2010, 04:56 PM   #28
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I would be happy to leave some money when I die, even though my children do not really need it.
In my case, there is a special needs (cerebral palsy) grandchild involved. His dad, my son, could put a few inheritance bux to good use despite the fact that both he and his DW have good, professional careers. Knowing this bothered me endlessly until I made arrangements to set a little aside for them. Now I know what is left (and there's plenty for our modest needs and tastes) and can relax about enjoying that.
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What I would not be very happy about is worrying about whether I will have to ask for financial help myself.
Amen to that. Being FIRE'd and havin' fun to the end, whenever that is, is the mission and so far, so good.
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Old 10-30-2010, 08:10 PM   #29
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To the OP, my condolences. All of us are of the age where we have had or will soon experience the loss of a parent or a sibling, but I would have to say the loss of a child, even a grown child, is the most painful thing a person has to endure. I am glad to hear that your son-in-law is doing well, along with your grandchildren. Best wishes.

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I am trying to live my life so that if I went at any moment, I wouldn't leave with any regrets. I guess that's one reason why I don't have a "bucket list".
If I had to die when my children were still young, it would be with much sorrow.

At this point, I am fairly content with my life. It could have been a lot worse. Regarding the bucket list, I do not have one in the strict sense. However, a person must have something to look forward to, so I cheat by planning for one thing at a time. It is something immediate, and that I am reasonably certain to achieve. Plan for success, as they say. And if I should fail to get there due to health or any other reason, it will not be a big deal.
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Old 11-01-2010, 12:39 AM   #30
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In 2007 I nearly died of septic shock at age 51. Three days earlier I had been perfectly healthy. It does change you a lot.

I recently lost my j*b. My wife had always said that I'd be stressed if that happened. I have not been unemployed since I was 16. I have almost enough to FIRE. I am REALLY enjoying myself. I said to my wife, "Do I look stressed?".
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Old 11-01-2010, 07:49 AM   #31
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Carpe diem indeed.

I am sorry for your loss. I understand grief all too well, and can offer this...a measly little BandAid but perhaps it will help...
when you think of your daughter and your friends, remember how fortunate you were to have them in your life for the time that you did. And the fond remembrances of things you enjoyed together are treasures to be cherished. Speak of them often.
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