Life Reflection: Would you do anything differently?

[harley]

Nothing really. See my sig line. It's been a fun ride to reach my current state of enlightened wisdom.

 

[Luck_Club]

Regrets or grass in greener dreams

I've been blessed with a wonderful life. I wouldn't trade it for anything especially the mysteries that lie behind the glass houses of the perfect people I encounter from time to time.

With that being said in retrospect a few choices over the years have had a negative impact on my future retirement lifestyle.

1) Like others have said passing on early military service, and all the deserving positive benefits that come from that service.

2) Poor choices during college years. Took 3 years to find myself, and even then didn't perform well enough to have good options for starting my career, thus further delaying earnings.

3) Never learning to play the corporate politics/ladder game, and choosing to stick to my level of competency. Stunted my career choices later in life when I was "forced out".

4) Not pursuing a very lucrative real estate deal because I thought it was too big, and I didn't try and find the money.

 

[Danmar]

It’s too easy to second guess yourself with hindsight. So I don’t. I’m very lucky as it is. Could it have worked out better? I don’t think so-making the decisions I did knowing what I did then. Knowing what I know now, maybe. But who gets to do that?

 

[Al in Ohio]

I never cared about moving to different locations climbing the corporate ladder. I lived in low COL places and lived a rather frugal life.

And not living in a high COL place allowed us to live in very large homes with monthly payments cheaper than apartment rentals. And we also had the resources to travel the world.

So what would you do differently?

 

[flyingaway]

I wish I could be more brave and have less hesitations in deciding many things in my life.

 

[FlaGator]

Good topic.

Personally, things played out as they did. I don't spend any time thinking about what life would have been like with any of the young ladies I dated before I met the late DW. I hope our time together made them better partners and their lives turned out as well as they hoped.

While there were a few turning points professionally, I have no reason to be unhappy about how things turned out. No way to know how those alternate paths would have turned out, and I don't spend any time wondering what life would have been like it if I had gotten an MBA or gone to law school in my 20's, or accepted the overseas opportunity 10 years ago (all are things I considered at the time, and declined to pursue). Events have shown I did "good enough" having skipping them, and likely had a better work life than I would have had I done any of them.

One thing I would like to have known earlier is my "sweet spot" professionally - the things that I like to do, do better than most, and are a good fit for the way my mind works. Didn't stumble into that until my late 30's, and didn't realize I had found it until my mid 40's. Trying to help my kids get to that understanding earlier.

 

[CaliKid]

I wish I had been taught about jobs with pensions like working for the state. I never considered that as an option and merely looked at the income potential. Sure making $500k a year is fun but without the pension it requires a large savings rate and self control to live way below your means. A nice state job creates the cap on what you can spend but a nice pension forever. I just didn't know of that option until it was too late.

Similarly, I wish I had focused my career more on a model that created residual income and/or build up of business value. Again, I make a good living but it basically stops when I stop working.

In terms of frivolous spending I wish I had bought one or two less new cars than I did.

Personally speaking I wish I hadn't had those long term girlfriends in college. Oh well, live and learn.

 

[lwp2017]

The good greatly outweigh the bad.
Wonderful wife-partner, kids I'm proud of, great job, high compensation and pension allowing ER.

A few regrets.

Worked too hard & way too many hours. I watched three Christmas in a row on VHS tape when kids were at that magic age around six. You never get that time back.

Wish I would've spent more time with my dad when he was alive- I miss him even more as the years go by.

Didn't exercise enough-Always put time for myself last- rationalized that was the right thing to do.

Now that I'm about to ER, it would have been better to enjoy more at 35 with a pain free body and worked a few more years.

I finally have the coveted toys like a boat and 4 wheeler but hurt too much to really enjoy them.

 

[mamadogmamacat]

No serious regrets I had enough wisdom/intuition to stick with mega corp misery just long enough to get a pension that was a key part of getting me to FIRE. Yes a govt pension would have been better because of the better health care options associated with such in retirement. But, i would have had to live in areas of little interest to me to get those govt jobs in my profession. So, it was a trade off, and I'm very comfortable with the outcome of those choices.

Would have perhaps been happier being a vet than an engineer, but who knows if i could have made it through vet school (Or even got into one)..might well have dropped out because just the thought of cutting into an animal was too much for me in HS biology.

I should have started investing earlier (20s rather than 30s), but I too was raised in poverty, and just had to learn a different mindset from that of my rather messed up parents, and that took some time.

By Grace, it all worked out, and now it is a very satisfying time as the last chapters of my earthly life play out.

 

[Mdlerth]

The path of wisdom eludes us until it's too late

I wish I had followed my heart instead of my head in selecting my career. I chose engineering because it offered better pay and job security. But I ended up at a Megacorp which doesn't want its engineers to do engineering; they want to turn us into project managers. Zzzzz...

What really fascinated me was history. But the history majors I knew were all waiting tables after graduation. So I stuck with engineering. It's paid the bills, but the longer I do it the less fun it is.

Had I gone the history route, I'd have been poorer but happier. I guess that's counter to what I should be saying on a FIRE forum, but it's the truth.

 

[Onward]

1. Ditch the afro in the 70's. They were supposedly in style, but it never got me any chicks.

2. Save and invest 10% of every dollar I earned. It wouldn't have affected my lifestyle, and it would have saved me several years (at least) of ugly corporate servitude.

 

[Hermit]

I wish I had followed my heart instead of my head in selecting my career. I chose engineering because it offered better pay and job security. But I ended up at a Megacorp which doesn't want its engineers to do engineering; they want to turn us into project managers. Zzzzz...

What really fascinated me was history. But the history majors I knew were all waiting tables after graduation. So I stuck with engineering. It's paid the bills, but the longer I do it the less fun it is.

Had I gone the history route, I'd have been poorer but happier. I guess that's counter to what I should be saying on a FIRE forum, but it's the truth.

Niece's ex was driving a truck with his history major last I heard. I'm not sure you would have been any happier.

 

[harley]

What really fascinated me was history. But the history majors I knew were all waiting tables after graduation.

You may be exaggerating the situation for History majors. One of my old college roommates was a history major, and he moved right into a management position (assistant manager of a restaurant).

 

[ohyouknow]

I would have commissioned into the Air Force right after law school instead of working at a civilian law firm for 2+ years. They paid me peanuts and it would be heavenly to be 2 years closer to my military pension. If I could retire in 4 years instead of 6 years i would feel so much better about time with my kids. As it stands now, my oldest will be 16 and youngest will be 6 when I retire. I sure wish I could have two extra years with them at home.
That being said, the Air Force has given me some amazing opportunities, including living in Europe and retiring in my 40s. Just wish I had started earlier.

 

[lwp2017]

What really fascinated me was history. But the history majors I knew were all waiting tables after graduation. So I stuck with engineering. It's paid the bills, but the longer I do it the less fun it is.

Had I gone the history route, I'd have been poorer but happier.

You were smarter than many in college making the switch.

I remember interviewing for a college summer job with a yard mowing service company. The guy hiring was a History major, it was his franchise.

The only other history major friends I knew were ROTC and planned military careers. They all did well for themselves.

 

[BeachOrCity]

I saw this recently. Thought is was thought provoking.....

 

[Badger]

It hasn't always been perfect. There were bumps (a divorce and getting layed off) along the way that sometimes were difficult. But nothing that I wasn't able to handle given time. Eventually these turned out to be good things as I met a great life companion and obtained a teaching position at a local college that I had been interested in since college days.

Don't think I would change anything. I have had too many life experiences and challenges that have given me joy, satisfaction, and a feeling of accomplishment.

Now if I could just get past some health issues so I can continue with the time I have left.

Cheers!

 

[DrRoy]

I wish we had spent more on frivolous things, like vacations, when we were younger. No, seriously. They aren't as much fun when you are older.

This is not the case at all for me. DW and I did take some great trips along the way while w**rking, but I enjoy travel much more now because I don't have any worry or distraction from the kids or job.

It hasn't always been perfect. There were bumps along the way that sometimes were difficult. But nothing that I wasn't able to handle given time. Eventually some of these turned out to be good things.

Don't think I would change anything. I have had too many life experiences and challenges that have given me joy, satisfaction, and a feeling of accomplishment.

I am quite happy and satisfied now. There are some things that I can think of wanting to do differently, but what if that would have changed where I ended up for the worse? I wouldn't roll the dice on it.

 

[scrabbler1]

While I am very happy the way things turned out for me, there are a few things I would have done differently over the years.


I was saving up money fiercely in the late 1980s, leading up to my buying the co-op apartment I have been living in for the last 28 years. But had I stayed in the crummy rental I was living in for one more year, I would have been able to afford to buy a one-bedroom apartment instead of a studio. At the time, in early 1989, the real estate market was strong, and interest rates were high. But by late 1989 and early 1990, interest rates had fallen a lot, and apartment prices had topped out and begun to fall some. The combination of these things would have made it very likely I could have bought a bigger apartment with a more affordable mortgage for the same amount of money.


The maintenance on the apartment would have been nearly 50% higher, though. This would have eaten into the surplus I had most moths in the 1990s and through today. Would this have had a big impact on my ability to ER in late 2008? My expenses would have been higher.


However, I would have done something else different to offset this increase in expenses. In the early 2000s, when the company stock was beginning to take off, I had sold back to the company the maximum percentage of shares to minimize the risk of having a lot of my 401k money in one place. (Once sold, they can't be repurchased.) Remind you, this was back during the Enron days when lots of people who owned too much company stock got wiped out when their company went under. My company was a strong, thriving company whose stock price skyrocketed the whole time. I ended up selling back about 1/3 of my total shares, so if I had held them, I would have cashed out an extra $130k. My IRA is bigger because I did this, but not by nearly as much. My ER plan was not yet in full speed at the time, so trying to maximize my after-tax portfolio was not a primary goal.


There are a few things I would have done differently with some women I dated years ago, but I doubt any of them would have affected my current status with my ladyfriend. I would have a lot more fun LOL!


When I weigh these things against all the things which went right, there is no comparison. A list of all the right decisions I made, and the many lucky things which happened along the way, would be much longer.

 

[Jeffman52]

Due to the poverty of my parents/grandparents, I never thought I would have been as successful as I am today. There are some things I might have done differently on the larger scale but I wouldn't be who I am today without learning from those.

Some small things.

I quit smoking around 34 years old. But I would never have picked up that terrible habit that will give me end of life breathing issues.

I would have divorced my first wife earlier. Not sure what I was waiting on. There were some miserable years there. But again the wait and timing might be what brought my DW and I together at the right time.

Financially, I would have saved earlier. Not trusted my First Wife with the bills. I would never have short-circuited my 401K to get out of debt and allow my FW to make sure that got done. Obviously it didn't, and I wasted a ton of money there with little to show for it.

Hopefully 10 years from now, I'm not saying, I wished I had FIRE'd earlier. I'm staying the course for 4 more years to RE at 59. Unless the stock market continues at this ridiculous pace, it which case I might re-evaluate.

 

[ChiliPepr]

I'm 35 and still 15-20 decades away from my FIRE plans.

Wow! you have a long way to go!

 

[EvrClrx311]

Wow! you have a long way to go!

good catch... I originally wrote 1-2 decades, then decided 15-20 years was more accurate

In 15-20 decades I would think I'll be entirely free from monetary worries and cares.

Read every post above. So great to hear all of these different perspectives. Already seeing some themes. I bought my first "new" car four years ago, and I suspect it'll be my last. One I hadn't considered is the relationships we hold. I put a lot of weight into my friendships and relationships, but can appreciate how on a longer scale of life, there are only a subset that'll be there for the long haul. Those are the important ones to foster and take care of. I suppose character is built in all forms of living (including the relationships that leave us) however our sense of place in the world is carried more heavily by those we keep along for the ride. I'm in a phase of life where I'm surrounded myself by equally passionate people... I think passions in life are the key to happy living. Job and money is a necessary evil to award the time to pursue them.

At this point... looking back at the last 15 years, my time coaching adolescents in sports has been incredible rewarding. I gave it up a couple years ago because my daughters are at those magic ages (6 and 8) where my focus needs to be there for them - I still see parents of some of the kids I coach in the community who stop me to say what a positive impact I was on their child, in areas that extended outside of the sport (working hard to achieve goals in life was my driving message for them in the sport). I appreciate this kind of thing way more so than the accolades and accomplishments I've been giving in my job. It's interesting... I had a debate with my father 5 years ago... he was telling me to quit coaching and because he was afraid it was holding back my career. I told him, "what's the point of the career, if I'm not doing this sort of thing that adds value and meaning to me life"

These kinds of awarenesses comes from this kind of question, towards people like you all. I posed a similar question on a forum years ago and it woke me up to these things. For that I'm grateful

 

[ncbill]

Wish I would have switched majors to get the ROTC scholarship.

Military service post-graduation is how my kids are paying for their undergraduate degrees, hopefully med school as well for my oldest.

 

[Scuba]

I saw this recently. Thought is was thought provoking.....

Like this chart, thanks for sharing!

 

[Danmar]

It’s pretty easy to come up with financial or investment issues you might have handled differently. Ie sell everything in 2007 and buy it back in 2009. Buy Apple, Google, Amazon, Facebook early and hold. Hardly a revelation though. Much more interesting are the personal things we decide on, like education, career, employer, spouse, etc. In many cases we simply “fall” into these important choices. Life is so uncertain, wonderful though.