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Meeting people around the same age?
Old 02-16-2012, 12:45 AM   #1
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Meeting people around the same age?

Hi Folks, I wanted to toss a question out to the group... I'm 47, single, and have been retired for about a year now. I also established a second residence on the west coast for better weather and recreation opportunities. I'm loving the freedom and the new area (I was totally ready for a change of venue), but I've found it difficult to meet people of (roughly) the same age. Clearly, most folks who are available during the day are "traditional" age retirees (say 60s), but I would also like to meet a few friends who are closer to my age.

Anyone else faced with the same dilemma? I think things are compounded by a new area as well, but I'd love to hear any tips and experiences on making friends in a new area and finding other folks who have similar flexibility in their schedules.

Thanks!
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Old 02-16-2012, 01:05 AM   #2
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I am older, so I don't have the same problem but I have some thoughts about it until some younger people weigh in.

When you were working, you could only socialize and have fun with your friends after work, during evenings or weekends. People who are working only have those hours for fun and social activities. If you are willing to accept the same time restrictions on when you get together, your problem is much simplified. When you are apart, they are working and you are doing your own thing, so to speak. That gives you a much larger population of potential friends.

I made a point of not mixing work and social activities when I was working; did you? While I was friendly with people at work, I preferred to see others socially. If you did the same, then I think you could meet your friends the same ways you always have. You may not have work in common any more, but maybe you have hobbies, sports, or other things in common.

In addition, maybe now you could meet people through the recreational activities that drew you to the West Coast. I'd suggest joining any sort of recreational activities that you can find and see how that goes. Beach volleyball, anyone?
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Old 02-16-2012, 01:22 AM   #3
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I am 37 and I tend to hang out with older people during the day. Finding people with similar interests is more important to me than finding people in my age group.
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Old 02-16-2012, 04:32 AM   #4
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I had a similar concern when I retired early, I like to golf and most of my regular partners were around my age or younger. Unfortunately they all still work and most of the players around the club during the week have 10+ years on me. The age difference really hasn't been a big deal, these older guys don't hit it as far as they use to but sure know how to get the ball in the hole so there's always a good game to be had. And being retired most of these guys are very relaxed so you'll rarely see someone all stressed out throwing clubs and swearing after every bad shot which is another plus.
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Old 02-16-2012, 06:07 AM   #5
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Old 02-16-2012, 09:29 AM   #6
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It's tougher for early retirees, as most of your peer age group is still working, as you know. I'm 57, 47 would be even tougher. I only rarely socialized with co-workers during my career, just felt it necessary to maintain objectivity at work.

I decided before I retired that I would force myself to join groups to meet people, that's helped. I've also made more of a point of staying in touch with friends than before I retired, in retrospect I used to take some of them for granted, not any more. Without these two conscious actions on my part, I could be pretty lonely.

Buddy of mine moved to a 55+ community, and he's happy as a clam there. Not for me though...never.

It's pretty odd when I am out shopping during the day Mon-Fri now, who are all those old people and where did they come from? Never noticed them before...
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Old 02-16-2012, 10:04 AM   #7
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There are probably several members of this board who live on the west coast and would be willing to meet you. Schedule a meetup for someplace and see who shows up! I've done several in the DC area when I visited my sister, and have met several nice people.

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Old 02-16-2012, 10:43 AM   #8
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You could take up surfing. No matter what they do, people will always find a way to get in the water regularly. And the locals will always be a variety of ages, so you'd likely find a good sized group that you could hit it off with.
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Old 02-16-2012, 11:12 AM   #9
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Do we have guesstimates of how many of us FIRE people are Out There for each age range? For purposes of the OP, this does NOT include people who are still w*rking at least near full-time. Perhaps there are few around the OP's age near his/her location, which would explain why it's been tough finding the others.
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Old 02-16-2012, 11:31 AM   #10
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I had too much of people while still employed.

No desire to seek anybody out (did I mention that I'm an extreme introvert? )...
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Old 02-16-2012, 01:17 PM   #11
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I am same age, and your predicament is exactly the reason why I havent moved yet. Will have to wait a dozen years until GF is financially ready to quit and move with me. Then probably will head to a 55 and over community and socialize in that capacity.
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Old 02-16-2012, 01:23 PM   #12
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Then probably will head to a 55 and over community and socialize in that capacity.
The idea of buying a condo in a 55+ community sounds better and better to me all the time. I'm tired of yard work and mowing, but I don't want to share walls with younger families and folks who are more likely to be noisy. Of course, I'm 8.5 years away from being able to do so. I'd live in a condo or a townhouse today if I didn't have to worry about noisy neighbors.
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Old 02-16-2012, 01:54 PM   #13
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Originally Posted by ziggy29

The idea of buying a condo in a 55+ community sounds better and better to me all the time. I'm tired of yard work and mowing, but I don't want to share walls with younger families and folks who are more likely to be noisy. Of course, I'm 8.5 years away from being able to do so. I'd live in a condo or a townhouse today if I didn't have to worry about noisy neighbors.
+1... I dont want to meet new people, by knocking on their door and telling them to quiet down. I am spoiled right now. Dead end cul de sac in small town surrounded by neighbors that are all 20 years older than me. My 80 year old neighbor was worried when they moved in next door, I would be too loud for them since I was younger OP comment- Meeting people and getting new friends is possible at any age, but I think it would be the hardest in 40-50's age range. That is why the retirement community I believe will suite me fine when the late 50's are reached. With all the various activites available, acquiring friends shouldnt be a problem as long as you arent asking to borrow money,getting political, or having your grand kids around often and upsetting the community
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Old 02-16-2012, 02:03 PM   #14
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Originally Posted by FIREd
I am 37 and I tend to hang out with older people during the day. Finding people with similar interests is more important to me than finding people in my age group.
+1

Most of the folks I hang with during the day are 10-15 years older than me, and several are older than that. We all have a lot of the same interests, but we also have a lot of different interests which helps keep things from getting anywhere near boring or mundane!

During the late afternoons and evenings, and on weekends, there's much more opportunity to hang with folks closer to my age and younger. But over time I've discovered that often we have a lack of common interests. Their lives are mostly centered on w*rking and j*bs, and recreation and relaxation are only a tiny blip on their radar. Whereas my life is just the opposite! R&R are THE priority, while w*rking and the j*b are but a distant and fading memory!!!

Personally, I prefer common interests over common age!
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Old 02-16-2012, 02:14 PM   #15
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Do you have any interests, other than this forum? If so, just get active in those things. Golf? Hobbies? Gardening? Sports? Church? I would think having something in common with others would serve you best in finding new people to hang out with.

Some people are just naturally more gregarious than others. But you don't need a bus full of friends. But you do need a few to bounce ideas off of.

I meet once a week for lunch with three guys who are into investing. I meet two other guys for lunch about twice a month to just get together and talk. I'm in the choir and a Sunday school class at church, and we have parties several times a year just to get together. I see old high school friends several times a year. I can't say I've seen anyone I worked with for 26 years lately, although I wouldn't mind getting together infrequently.

The good thing about being retired is that I can drop plans most anytime to get together with a friend(s). I always thought I'd spend lots of time playing golf once I retired, but I haven't hit a golf ball since I quit. And I don't know why.
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Old 02-17-2012, 09:34 AM   #16
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Thanks all, sounds like a few of you have noticed the same thing... I'm an avid cyclist and meet a lot of folks though that activity which is great, most of who are older than me (and in fantastic shape I might add- I believe cycling just may be the fountain of youth!). I agree that finding folks with similar interests is important, and the reality of most people working during the day limits opportunities to meet some people in certain age ranges, I guess that's just the way it is.
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Old 02-17-2012, 10:21 AM   #17
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Try meetup.com and see if there are any hobbies that you have in common with meetup groups. When we moved to NM we joined every art group we could, as well as a photography meetup group, and quickly met lots of people to call friends. We are still working and self-employed, and many artists are also self-employed, so the meetings are often during the day.
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Old 02-17-2012, 12:12 PM   #18
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I retired at 55 and most of my new friends (through duplicate bridge mostly) are in their 70's. Doesn't bother me.

My running friends are younger and that is kind of a pain because they can only run on weekends and after work. During the week I like to run during the workday when it is light out so I have to run by myself.
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Old 02-17-2012, 05:43 PM   #19
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Similar interests are probably the way to go. In California you may actually be able to find some retirees in your age range, I have a few friends that retired after the dot com bubble and are still retired. Most are in their 40's now.
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Old 02-17-2012, 06:52 PM   #20
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The idea of buying a condo in a 55+ community sounds better and better to me all the time. I'm tired of yard work and mowing, but I don't want to share walls with younger families and folks who are more likely to be noisy. Of course, I'm 8.5 years away from being able to do so. I'd live in a condo or a townhouse today if I didn't have to worry about noisy neighbors.
Don't count on it being quieter. Older people tend to boost the volume on TVs and radios to decibel levels that rock bands can only dream of.

I know, I live in a condo just above an old lady who cranks her surround sound up to high that my walls shake.
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