Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 03-29-2011, 08:40 AM   #41
Moderator
Walt34's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Eastern WV Panhandle
Posts: 16,528
Curtains? You actually have curtains in your house? Wow....

I'm not joking. We have them on the front of course, but the back that faces the woods doesn't, just pull-down shades. It's not that we're too cheap, we could easily buy them, it's just that neither one of us likes shopping for that stuff, and well, we just haven't gotten a roundtuit yet. We probably won't overcome the inertia until we eventually move and have to stage the house for sale.

At the other extreme, last week I was being facetious and asked DW "Would you mind if I spent $4,600 on camera gear?" and her reply was "Sure, go ahead if you want."

Huh? It took a while for her to convince me she was serious, but I still hesitate on it. She says I need a hobby but I have a hard time parting with that much for stuff I know will be technically obsolete in five years. Especially recently, since I was looking through some old photos and realized that the way I grew up would be considered near poverty level now. I was 34 years old before I ever had a brand-new bicycle.

Deeply ingrained values are difficult to go against. Once in a blue moon we also buy a lottery ticket or two, buying a week's worth of daydreams. But talking about it, if it hit we probably wouldn't change our lifestyle much. We'd end up giving most of it away.
__________________

__________________
I heard the call to do nothing. So I answered it.
Walt34 is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 03-29-2011, 08:46 AM   #42
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Rustic23's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Lake Livingston, Tx
Posts: 3,624
Interestingly enough, we do not have only one shear in our house in the bathroom, and not curtains. Venetian blinds on most of the windows but no curtains.
__________________

__________________
If it is after 5:00 when I post I reserve the right to disavow anything I posted.
Rustic23 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-29-2011, 09:04 AM   #43
gone traveling
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Eastern PA
Posts: 3,851
Quote:
Originally Posted by Walt34 View Post
...and well, we just haven't gotten a roundtuit yet.
OK - now you have one. Get shopping!
Attached Images
File Type: jpg TUIT.jpg (18.0 KB, 157 views)
__________________
rescueme is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-29-2011, 09:22 AM   #44
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 13,269
Quote:
Originally Posted by GRambler View Post
First post here, just found this forum while searching the web for answers.

This may not seem a problem to some but it's causing me some serious stress.

Having worked and scrimped for decades my wife and I have done well enough to have most anything we've wanted. Nothing over the top, but new cars every 8-10 years, boats, motorcycle, race cars, RV, and a paid off home. All modest middle of the road stuff, but all paid for and all done on a modest salary. All the while slowly building a savings and retirement account like we're supposed to do.
That was the challenge, the game as you will.

Now after doing this for decades it's turned into enough to retire on right now, and more money than I'd ever dreamed we'd ever have. I'm not talking multi millions or anything, but enough for a lower to middle class guy that's worked his butt off knowing what's needed for retirement, and reaching it.
I'm only in my early 50's and my wife has gone to short work weeks but I have no intention of retiring this early, so we decided to just start spending what we make while leaving the savings alone.

The problem is I can't spend it, the guilt or whatever prevents me from doing it without feeling over anxious about how much I'm spending, and my wife isn't much better.
Could be for a new gas grill, I would normally just replace the burner in the old one, or a few thousand dollars for landscaping that I'd normally bust my butt trying to get it done for half that rather than pay someone even though it's getting to be too much for me physically.
And I tie myself in knots justifying it either way I go. If I fix the rusted out 10 year old grill I wonder why I would do that, I'll run an old set of tires one more race rather than spend money on a new set. I'll patch garden hoses rather than go buy a couple of new ones. I've repaired every appliance in our house at least once rather than buy new ones.
All that was done to reach where we are now.

But it's like; now that I won the game I don't know what to do.
Continuing to do as before causes us to question our sanity, enjoying the fruits of our labor causes anxiety.
Old habits die hard I suppose.

I have not read any replies yet... but bolded and underlined a part of your first post... these are not 'modest, middle of the road stuff'... I am not saying anything negative here, just pointing out that very few people have a race car... a few more have a boat... but probably not a boat, RV and motorcycles... from what I see, they usually choose one of them... with a minority choosing two...

I know it does not answer your question...


I will give my opinion... I got married a few years ago and now have a wife and two kids... this moved my expenses up a LOT from where I was being single.. it has taken me two years to get comfortable with this higher budget (which almost takes our whole paycheck... only saving 10% to 15%).... why am I OK... because as you stated... I have saved a lot and if it continues to grow like it should I will be OK when I want to retire...


Yes, it is hard to transition.... but if you do not change it will eat away at you when you do spend the money... like your grill... buy a new one... look for a cheap sale etc. so you can feel good about getting it cheap... but don't keep trying to fix something that creates stress in your life....
__________________
Texas Proud is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-29-2011, 09:22 AM   #45
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
FinanceDude's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 12,484
The LACK of money causes more stress than HAVING money...........
__________________
Consult with your own advisor or representative. My thoughts should not be construed as investment advice. Past performance is no guarantee of future results (love that one).......:)


This Thread is USELESS without pics.........:)
FinanceDude is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-29-2011, 09:32 AM   #46
gone traveling
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Eastern PA
Posts: 3,851
Quote:
Originally Posted by FinanceDude View Post
The LACK of money causes more stress than HAVING money...........
Amen, brother !!!
__________________
rescueme is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-29-2011, 09:41 AM   #47
Dryer sheet aficionado
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 47
Quote:
So, it appears to me that you do not feel deprived. Or do you? If you are going to regret not getting this or that thing later, then it would not be good.
Actually we feel the opposite. While neither of us are from poverty we both had a smart frugal upbringing, but we feel like we need to hide just how well we've done. We're somewhat embarrassed about it when we should be proud. Neither of us like to show off, but enjoy when something we've done gets noticed.

People sometimes think we're cheap or strapped when we eat out since we'll sometimes split a meal. But honestly, most resturants serve way more than we can eat if we order two entree's.
We can both be full and happy while spending less than $50 on a nice dinner instead of $60-$80
Of course we don't do that when etiquette would be breached but once we started paying attention to cost vs amount served it was redicules to pay for two entree's and only eat half of it.
When we're close to home and can get a to go box we sometimes will though.

Quote:
I have not read any replies yet... but bolded and underlined a part of your first post... these are not 'modest, middle of the road stuff'... I am not saying anything negative here, just pointing out that very few people have a race car... a few more have a boat... but probably not a boat, RV and motorcycles... from what I see, they usually choose one of them... with a minority choosing two...
When I say modest middle of the road stuff I mean I bought a used 16 year old RV for cheap, the boats were nothing high end and have come and gone over the years, motorcyle the same, old cars and trucks were bought cheap and restored cheap. I used to flip some classic cars for extra money.
The race car is a trade off of getting rid of the boat and other stuff and using that money to build it.
True, not everyone has a race car, but I no longer have all that other stuff either, except the RV, I'll stay at the track in it rather than pay motel and resturant bills.
I couldn't justify the RC to myself without getting rid of the other stuff.
__________________
GRambler is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-29-2011, 11:41 AM   #48
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: anywhere usa
Posts: 246
Quote:
we feel like we need to hide just how well we've done
I think this is smart. Only my parents and two extremely close friends have any insight into the finances of our household. Visible wealth discrepancy changes relationships, and not for the better.
__________________
pimpmyretirement is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-29-2011, 12:32 PM   #49
Moderator
Ronstar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: A little ways southwest of Chicago
Posts: 9,343
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ally
(no offense intended to any hillbillies here.)
No offense taken. But I'm stressing over how much to spend on an air rifle that I need to kill varmints in the yard.
__________________
Ronstar is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-29-2011, 12:38 PM   #50
gone traveling
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Eastern PA
Posts: 3,851
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ronstar View Post
No offense taken. But I'm stressing over how much to spend on an air rifle that I need to kill varmints in the yard.
Plus you can skin 'em, smoke 'em, stew 'em.

Nothing wrong with that at all. Heck, it's the way some of us LBYM'ers remain LBYM ...
__________________
rescueme is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-29-2011, 12:40 PM   #51
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Ally's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 1,189
Quote:
Originally Posted by GRambler View Post
We had a nice talk about dividing some assets up that we can each freely spend and not feel bad about it. Some of the guilt and anxiety is just comments we'll make to each other in jest about how much each spent on something. But when the spender is concerned about it, words said even in jest can sting a lot.
.
So true! Both of us are teasers, but we are sensitive to teasing about spending on ourselves. I'll have to bring that conversation up. I think it would help.
__________________
Ally is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-29-2011, 03:22 PM   #52
Moderator
Ronstar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: A little ways southwest of Chicago
Posts: 9,343
Quote:
Originally Posted by rescueme View Post
Plus you can skin 'em, smoke 'em, stew 'em.

Nothing wrong with that at all. Heck, it's the way some of us LBYM'ers remain LBYM ...
I did promise my BIL that I would give him all the geese I kill so that he can make goose jerky
__________________
Ronstar is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-29-2011, 03:50 PM   #53
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Ally's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 1,189
Hey Ronstar, are you aware of the varmint master's magazine and forums?
__________________
Ally is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-29-2011, 04:37 PM   #54
Recycles dryer sheets
e86s54's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 190
I guess you just can't change who you are when you get to be our age. This is the same kind of problem with people trying to find something to do when they stop working. You're just conditioned not to spend, so your gonna need to work on it if you want to change that. I'm just not so sure you need to.

Here's an example that's along the same lines. An acquaintance of mine made tens of millions of dollars in tech. I happen to be in Staples with him when he was buying some supplies for his house. We were looking at pens and he was trying to figure out the best deal on pens...he then caught himself, grabbed a bunch quickly and threw them into his cart. I guess he was losing money with the time he was spending on saving pennies
__________________
e86s54 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-29-2011, 04:45 PM   #55
Full time employment: Posting here.
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 728
old habits die hard. just do what you want to do and enjoy yourself. I'm a saver, learned it from my parents and now have a hard time spending money although, like you, I have more than enough.

sometimes it's the game; we want to see how much we can save clipping coupons, repairing old equipment, ordering/splitting a dinner or doing our own maintenance work. that's ok unless you want to change. Be happy, be proud, be yourself whatever that may be. You're smart and therefore lucky.........many will envy you and they should! I was glad to hear there is someone like myself, spending less than we can and not really knowing why we feel this way. Now, I wish I could teach these habits to my kids, they are growing up in a different world.
__________________
jerome len is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-29-2011, 05:04 PM   #56
Moderator
Ronstar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: A little ways southwest of Chicago
Posts: 9,343
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ally View Post
Hey Ronstar, are you aware of the varmint master's magazine and forums?
No - I had no idea they existed. Thanks for the tips! I googled and found both. I guess there's a magazine and forum for almost anything these days.
__________________
Ronstar is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-29-2011, 07:33 PM   #57
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Ally's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 1,189
The only varmints we have are pets, but we have a friend who enjoys the magazine and forums. Lol, that's why I know about them.
__________________
Ally is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-29-2011, 08:09 PM   #58
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
packrat44's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: near Canadian border and near Mexican border
Posts: 1,142
GRambler

Did you find my diary and copy it word for word? Very similar condition for DW and myself, only I have 1.5 decades on you. Hard to spend on our hobbies without feeling guilty even though we should have more than enough of a safety net. Still do all my own wrenching on the vehicles along with all building and maintenance on our properties. (I need to get all my hot rods on the road before I am too old to enjoy them. But it is hard to part with hard earned greenbacks)

You belong in LBYM announymous like many others of us on this forum.
__________________
Pigs get fat, hogs get slaughtered. That's my story and I am sticking to it.
packrat44 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-29-2011, 09:35 PM   #59
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
GregLee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Waimanalo, HI
Posts: 1,881
Quote:
Originally Posted by Walt34 View Post
... but I have a hard time parting with that much for stuff I know will be technically obsolete in five years..
If you get a digital SLR camera body with some extra lenses, I do think the camera body may soon be obsolete, but I doubt the lenses will, and the lenses will be probably be more than half the cost. But I've just started this hobby myself, so I don't know much about it.

On propane BBQ, aside from charcoal, an electric grill is also possible. Since I find propane a little frightening, I found a Meco electric grill on Amazon (after failing to find any in Hawaii). I couldn't say about its culinary value, but it's very convenient (since I'm in easy reach of a plug-in receptacle).

On the larger point of how to start spending frivolously after a life of frugality, I think it just takes some practice. I'm doing quite well, if I do say so, but so far, my wife just can't let go of an extra penny. I'm sure she will learn to do better.
__________________
Greg (retired in 2010 at age 68, state pension)
GregLee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-30-2011, 06:43 AM   #60
Full time employment: Posting here.
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Romney, WV
Posts: 729
GRamber, not a lot more to add to what others have said. Seems like you enjoy some of what you spend your time (and not much money) on but maybe you can work on opening up the budget a bit for the things you're not capable of doing anymore or really hate.

Landscaping for some can be therapy but for others, just plain work and physically demanding so a good place to pay others, just an example. Rebuilding an engine for a race car sounds reasonable to me for a hobby, why not just think of it as a hobby, not a place to avoid spending money unless it gets you more money to spend on another hobby, a race car sounds pretty expensive to me.
__________________

__________________
davemartin88 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
What do you do for stress relief ? Moemg Other topics 21 10-30-2007 08:54 PM
Stress and OT Helen Other topics 10 02-21-2007 03:07 PM
stress and work Khan Health and Early Retirement 1 12-04-2006 09:00 PM
How do you Deal with Stress? Craig Young Dreamers 26 09-14-2006 09:13 PM
Any former stress junkies? Leslie Life after FIRE 12 08-13-2005 01:19 PM

 

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 06:49 PM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.