More Popular than Porn

[FIREd]

I have a Facebook account, which I have used a few times to reconnect with old friends. But I am not at all into posting comments on other people's walls, "poking" people angel, taking stupid quizzes and whatever else goes on there. If I want to say something to someone on Facebook, I send a private message and keep the conversation private. I have never used MySpace. I have a Twitter account but I never post anything on it. I do follow a couple of people on Twitter however. And I do follow routinely a number of blogs.

Usually I set the privacy settings pretty high on my social media accounts so that I can thoroughly screen who can see my profile. So I guess I am taking "social" out of "social media" .

Pretty much, my only forray into online interactions with other people has been right here on ER.org.

 

[WhoDaresWins]

I h

Pretty much, my only forray into online interactions with other people has been right here on ER.org.

Ditto. My sister is on Facebook and Classmates, and she has given out my personal e-mail to people. I have responded politely to them for her sake. I don't own a camera and don't use my cellphone for anything other than the occasional phone call. I didn't have a personal computer until three years ago when my son gave me a laptop. I Googled myself and was mystified to see several previous addresses for myself in the White Pages. How do they get this info and what gives them the right to post it? It listed my LH's name and my son's name at a couple of the addresses. Other than this, there appears to be little on me on the net other than for our local rinky-dink newspaper which listed me as attending some parties and fundraising events in the "Fanfare" (social) section over a period of several years.

 

[freebird5825]

...I Googled myself and was mystified to see several previous addresses for myself in the White Pages. How do they get this info and what gives them the right to post it? It listed my LH's name and my son's name at a couple of the addresses.

I was just trying to call a HS friend and the home number was no longer in service, but her cell phone was still OK. I went to WhitePages and was able to figure out they were still at the same address based on her husband's name and their kids' names, all linked to the current address. That was kind of creepy. Both sons have been grownups for years and are no longer living there. I also saw a trail of past addresses that I already knew about. Double creepy.
I'm going to try mine, using just my initial and then my full name.

 

[clifp]

A couple of comments. First as several have noted discussion forums are some of the earliest social media. The primary difference is that Facebook focus a lot more on the media (i.e. pictures) than a forum does.

I believe that a majority of my "friends" on Facebook have seldom or never participated in a discussion forum. In my 30 years of being on a internet discussion forums, I long ago figured out that having an, often in depth, discussion of topics only appeals to fairly small segment of the population. Requiring the topics being discussed by A. writing multi-paragraph responses and B. with random folks over the internet, turns off an even larger number of people. Obviously, being able to reconnect with old friends, share pictures, and gossip appeals to a wider audience.

One of the interesting question is will facebook kill forums. In the short term, I believe no but in the long term I'm not sure.

For instance, I posted the question I'm thinking about getting a netbook, please tell me your experiences, to this forum, a computer game forum, and on Facebook. I got slightly more responses on this forum, but as is typical of a threaded discussion, there were also posts on unrelated topic. The very computer literate, game forum, only generated a few responses, even though I posted to a thread specifically about netbooks. My Facebook query generated 9 responses. The level of detail and useful was similar in all three places.

IMO Facebook still doesn't lend it to having a good discussion about a topic like health care. However, for the general questions, like what do people think about X, I am traveling to Katmandu what should I see. I'd say they are of equal use.

As for privacy issue, Sun's CEO more than a decade ago say "you have no privacy on the internet get over it." The 1st amendment allows the publishing of all of this stuff. You can try to get amended if you'd like.

If you want to truly be concerned try typing you name into pipl.com, you'll get back mortgages, speeding tickets, previous address etc. most any public record.

 

[summer2007]

Some people that I grew up with practically LIVE on facebook.

They upload 500 pictures of themselves on the site and have 300 friends.

Jim

 

[freebird5825]

...As for privacy issue, Sun's CEO more than a decade ago say "you have no privacy on the internet get over it." The 1st amendment allows the publishing of all of this stuff. You can try to get amended if you'd like.

If you want to truly be concerned try typing you name into pipl.com, you'll get back mortgages, speeding tickets, previous address etc. most any public record.

I tried out pipl.com. Interesting site. TY for the link.
There are exactly 40 persons with my name (using middle initial also) all over NY. My own records (3 separate entries altogether) were minimal, the same info you could find in whitepages.com. No previous addresses at all.
There was 1 entry for a small loan I took out 3 years ago, but Privacy Act info was blacked out on the PDF file containing the filing by the bank. No tickets or judgements, so no data to be retrieved there.
I didn't cough up the $39.95 to check further.

 

[harley]

I was reading a recent issue of Forbes the other day. There was an article about isolation, loneliness, etc (the biochemistry and sociology of it). It mentioned Facebook as an example of social networking. The author (or subject) said he thought that if you use it as a method of setting up real social interactions, it is a positive force. If, however, you have 300 friends but never actually see anybody it can make isolation and loneliness even worse. Sounds reasonable, although I'm sure debatable.

Personally I use Facebook to be able to contact old friends if something happens (birth, death, etc). I'm not into the day to day talking. Most people's lives just aren't that interesting on a daily basis.

 

[FUEGO]

I was reading a recent issue of Forbes the other day. There was an article about isolation, loneliness, etc (the biochemistry and sociology of it). It mentioned Facebook as an example of social networking. The author (or subject) said he thought that if you use it as a method of setting up real social interactions, it is a positive force. If, however, you have 300 friends but never actually see anybody it can make isolation and loneliness even worse. Sounds reasonable, although I'm sure debatable.

Makes sense. I find it enhances relationships instead of detracting from them. I have reconnected with a number of people via facebook. We get together fairly often now. And instead of meeting a new person at a party or social gathering and then never seeing them again, if you really connected, you can "add them on facebook" and keep in touch with them that way (including inviting them to future social engagements).

 

[clifp]

Makes sense. I find it enhances relationships instead of detracting from them. I have reconnected with a number of people via facebook. We get together fairly often now. And instead of meeting a new person at a party or social gathering and then never seeing them again, if you really connected, you can "add them on facebook" and keep in touch with them that way (including inviting them to future social engagements).

I agree. The party situation is quite interesting. I am not good at remembering names. Part of my problem is in noisy situations, I often can't hear the name. Thanks to Facebook after a party I can either wait for the inevitable party pictures and then figure out their name, or check my friends FB page and get their name that way. Now when I go to a party, more often than not I remember the persons name. As added bonus I often found out some area of mutual interest by looking at their facebook page and it is good ice breaker.

 

[Nords]

It mentioned Facebook as an example of social networking. The author (or subject) said he thought that if you use it as a method of setting up real social interactions, it is a positive force. If, however, you have 300 friends but never actually see anybody it can make isolation and loneliness even worse. Sounds reasonable, although I'm sure debatable.

I agree. The party situation is quite interesting. I am not good at remembering names. Part of my problem is in noisy situations, I often can't hear the name.

I much prefer keeping the social contact under my control, including how often I get to take breaks.

We went to a four-hour neighborhood block party last night. Bless my neighbors for hosting this annual event because spouse and I would find hosting it to be extremely stressful (to say nothing of our pet bunny). Yet even just attending it required an hour of baking, another 20 minutes of wardrobe selection/approval ("Not 'classy aloha'?!? But these shorts have pleats, and this shirt has an actual collar and buttons!! No. Nonono. I draw the line at shoes. Slippers."), and an hour of cleanup afterward (helping out the host). Over six hours of dedicated effort for what normally happens every day on the street spaced out over weeks of casual interaction. And it's even easier on a discussion board.

When we arrived our host requested that we men put ourselves in Mr. Peabody's "Way Back Machine", remember when we were single, and be ready to entertain our fellow guests with the story of how we met our (current) spouses. Five minutes to prepare. It's challenging enough doing that with your spouse in the audience, let alone your teenage daughter. (Who has no idea who this Peabody guy is.) With a day or two to compose a cogent & pithy post, my performance would've been much more articulate and less reminiscent of tap-dancing through a minefield. Or I could've just skipped the thread altogether.

Luckily our host was serving mai tais. Maybe he understands me better than I do. Or maybe he was worried about how he was going to get the guys to come back next year...

I don't think social networking will replace block parties and human face-to-face contact. But I think it can certainly fill in more than enough of the "social" interaction that (still working) sociologists seem to feel is important to retirees.

 

[bssc]

I think that Facebook would make more money if they would stop displaying sexy singles ad with my (married) sister's face on it. Still its a fun place to hang out. People from my w*rk and my HS hang out there. This morning, just got two new friend suggestions from the now retired (in Hawaii) art teacher. They were kids from my class who just joined Facebook.

 

[SciFiFan53]

Actually, I was never interested either, until we moved 8000 miles away (to China) from family and friends for an overseas work assignment. My DW signed up for FB, and it was great for awhile. Good way to keep up with friends and family so you don't have to send so many e-mails. However, it all came to a screeching halt in July this year. For those of you who don't know, there was some social unrest here in NW China and the social networking sites got shut down. FB is still not back up , and the proxy sites are VERY limited in usefulness. Oh well....

 

[Tesaje]

I've been using facebook for almost a year now. I find it is a nice way to chit chat with my far flung relatives and old friends. I've gotten to know several nieces and nephews and their families that I wouldn't otherwise get to. I wouldn't use it if I couldn't limit it to who I want. I've also found a few people I knew or once knew from high school and many more that I have no recollection of at all. It got me to get out my old HS yearbooks and I realized I've forgotten people I apparently once knew.

What I don't like is I've got a couple of friend requests from people I don't know who apparently know one of my friends or family. No thanks. Numbers of contacts mean nothing to me and if it were that public, I wouldn't use it. A guy at work requested to be my "friend" and I really don't want to mix in a co-worker relationship with my close family/friend relationships. I wish it would allow me to have completely separate "friend" categories with separate controls over who can see what.

I don't think these sorts of things will affect the discussion forums like this one. Discussion forums are open to almost anyone who follows the rules of the forum and are topically based. Social media requires a link of some sort to specific accounts. Discussion forums are interesting precisely because I do not personally know or know of most of the participants. They are more akin to town hall meetings but are not geographically limited.

Twitter is something I just can't fathom. It seems completely pointless and facile to me.

 

[Khan]

I've been using facebook for almost a year now. I find it is a nice way to chit chat with my far flung relatives and old friends. I've gotten to know several nieces and nephews and their families that I wouldn't otherwise get to. I wouldn't use it if I couldn't limit it to who I want. I've also found a few people I knew or once knew from high school and many more that I have no recollection of at all. It got me to get out my old HS yearbooks and I realized I've forgotten people I apparently once knew.

What I don't like is I've got a couple of friend requests from people I don't know who apparently know one of my friends or family. No thanks. Numbers of contacts mean nothing to me and if it were that public, I wouldn't use it. A guy at work requested to be my "friend" and I really don't want to mix in a co-worker relationship with my close family/friend relationships. I wish it would allow me to have completely separate "friend" categories with separate controls over who can see what.

I don't think these sorts of things will affect the discussion forums like this one. Discussion forums are open to almost anyone who follows the rules of the forum and are topically based. Social media requires a link of some sort to specific accounts. Discussion forums are interesting precisely because I do not personally know or know of most of the participants. They are more akin to town hall meetings but are not geographically limited.

Twitter is something I just can't fathom. It seems completely pointless and facile to me.

I believe you can do that by creating 'lists' for different types of friends.

 

[Meadbh]

I agree with Tesaje that Twitter seems pointless. Why would I want to connect so superficially with people I don't know?

I joined Facebook a couple of years ago to keep an eye on a page set up by the family members of a patient. Our staff were concerned about their privacy, but luckily it wasn't an issue. I didn't put any personal information up there. I never delved into all the functions and never go there now; in fact I can't remember the login information I used. I have had a few friend requests from people I never heard of, and didn't respond to, and one from an old schoolmate. I emailed her to let her know that I don't use Facebook.

I am a member of several forums. The opportunity to have an indepth discussion and learn is what attracts me. What I enjoy about this forum in particular is the mix of serious content and humorous banter, and the relationship building that goes on as a result.

 

[Midpack]

I figure in 10 years, NOT using some form of social media will be like someone who doesn't use a phone or email or internet or computer today. You can obviously live life just fine, but there is some dimension you will miss out on.

I think this is the point. Just because the "fossils" here don't use it (yet), doesn't mean it isn't significant. I remember when my (now 87 yr old) parents thought the internet was "a stupid, useless idea" --- now they don't know what they would do without it...

 

[Khan]

I think this is the point. Just because the "fossils" here don't use it (yet), doesn't mean it isn't significant. I remember when my (now 87 yr old) parents thought the internet was "a stupid, useless idea" --- now they don't know what they would do without it...

In her 60s and 70s, Mother worked in a public library. She called me up one day, crying, because the library was going to install a computer system. I assured her that it would be all right.

I visited them a few years later, and Mother was extolling on the wonderfulness of the system. She said it was hard to imagine how they managed without it.

 

[HFWR]

Which is why having my medical records stuffed into a folder an inch thick is absurd...

Plus, being in a doctor's handwriting, it's likely illegible...