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Old 05-19-2015, 03:43 PM   #21
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It seems to me you can pretty much be wherever you want for as long as you want when you are retired. If you want to be away for awhile then go for it. It does not have to be a permanent decision.

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Old 05-19-2015, 03:44 PM   #22
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Originally Posted by Corporate ORphan View Post

We traveled a lot when we were working and never found the "perfect" spot. I guess if we had, I'd be more inclined to move. everyone for posting your
I understand we've been looking for that same perfect spot for years never found it. We decided this year to look around the state we live in. Pretty nice place.


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Old 05-19-2015, 03:55 PM   #23
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Originally Posted by LinCella View Post
I also think you make a family with good friends. To be honest, I can count on my best friends whereas some of my family are real flakes.
I sure do agree about the good friends. I don't know where I would be without mine. Am meeting up with a few for a girls' night out on Thursday.

In my case I would have to move to be near my closest family members and they all live in impossibly expensive areas: sister in Manhattan Beach CA, son in NYC, first cousins in HI and Cape Cod. I have a couple of second cousins on the other side of Pittsburgh. In any case, since I am guardian for a profoundly handicapped cousin in a nearby county, I don't see myself moving in retirement any time soon.
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Old 05-19-2015, 06:09 PM   #24
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Originally Posted by MRG View Post
I understand we've been looking for that same perfect spot for years never found it. We decided this year to look around the state we live in. Pretty nice place.

It is good to look around every now and then. We started remembering why we picked the house and location we have now and appreciate it more.
Even clouds seem bright and breezy, 'Cause the livin' is free and easy, See the rat race in a new way, Like you're wakin' up to a new day (Dr. Tarr and Professor Fether lyrics, Alan Parsons Project, based on an EA Poe story)
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Old 05-19-2015, 06:30 PM   #25
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Originally Posted by Corporate ORphan View Post
Thank you for all the posts. There obviously is more to it than what I posted.

Besides going thru DH's accident and illness, we had 5 family members die in the last 5 years from cancer/dementia (including both our DMs and one uncle who is younger than us.) I became close again to my DS when DM was sick a few years ago. DB won't talk to either of us because his wife is nuts. (a very long sad story).

We traveled a lot when we were working and never found the "perfect" spot. I guess if we had, I'd be more inclined to move. We never meant to come back here from college but the job I got was too good too leave.

Now when I think of moving away from DS, I feel anxious so I guess I answered my own question. She will never move from here because she has a grown son with Asperger's who wouldn't feel comfortable with a move and she would never leave him.

Thanks again everyone for posting your experiences with the subject!
I cannot be sure, but I think that you have decided to stay. What I was going to mention is that many of those who advise go, do your own thing, speak of things happening with other family members. You on the other hand, are talking about your own husband. It's different, and family are almost always more steadfast then friends, Your family are your evolutionary partners.

I listened to how you used words in your original post, and I think you made a very good decision to stay.

"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
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Old 05-19-2015, 07:03 PM   #26
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We moved 18 years ago from Atlanta to Seattle for my DH job. Best thing we ever did. I went back to the south for a 7 week visit in our rv. The South was not what it use to be. No family here but our kids. We have friends and a life here now. Broadened our horizons by moving to the other side of the country. We love it so much here that we won't move back South. Each individual must do what they feel is right for them.
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Old 05-20-2015, 05:01 AM   #27
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I don't like moving away from family but sometimes you have to.
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Old 05-20-2015, 06:40 AM   #28
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We were planning to move a couple of hours away from our current home when I retired in three years. We need to get out of this huge house and equally burdensome yard. We've decided to move soon to a smaller place, and if the $$$ works out, we hope to buy a small condo in the city we planned to relocate to, just for a get away place.

DH had some serious health issues a couple of years ago, and after much discussion, we decided we didn't want to be away from family & friends if it rears its ugly head again. A support system is essential for physical and mental well-being, IMHO.
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Old 05-24-2015, 08:15 AM   #29
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We used to talk about moving away to warmer area but we never will because we want to be part of the kids and grand kids lives all the time. We just found out our granddaughter is being given up by her mother to my son FT (for better school district he lives in) so I am going to be super busy helping with that due to his work hours. If I lived somewhere else I am not sure how he would manage.

So we are happy to be here, and do some snowbirding and longish trips (3 weeks).
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Old 05-24-2015, 08:29 AM   #30
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My wife and I moved away from family about 5 years ago when I joined the military. I got out last year and got a job only a couple hours away but it has still always felt temporary in my head like we are just trying to get back to our hometown. We now have the opportunity for me to take a job just 50-55 mins from our hometown and I am seriously considering the commute just so we can live near family and in the hometown we know so well.

I figure when we retire, we can get a condo or something like that for a few months every winter to get to the warmer weather, while maintaining our primary residence near family.
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Old 05-24-2015, 08:32 AM   #31
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As a kid, my folks moved us around the country several times. I hated having to be the new kid in so many schools. I swore I'd never do that to my own kids and that I would establish a permanent home for all time. We did that when my oldest son was 5 and have been here ever since.
The kids have since grown and moved away, one to New Zealand even, but we are still here and this is still home to them; the place they grew up, went to school, learned to drive, and to visit with their kids with gramma and papa.

I think roots are important. Probably because I didn't have any. We are lucky that the climate is so nice as I can not think of another place that would be nicer than right here in Northern California. I can kayak the Pacific Ocean one weekend and snow ski the next if I so choose. If my kids ever choose to move back here, they'll have reason to; their childhood home and family are still the same.
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Old 05-24-2015, 10:06 AM   #32
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Interesting subject. I'd LOVE to have DS and DD and their families in relative close proximity with the 5 grandchildren. DS will likely stay in Africa for another 4-5 years, DD and her tribe are moving to DC, ostensibly "permanently." Yeah, right, they've moved every 2-3 years including transatlantic to and from London 4 times. So we're not moving where they are based on likely impermanence of such a situation. We're in NC and frankly, can't see moving to DC from here, much more livable here. I love my family but value our lifestyle. We're just thrilled they'll be a 5 hour drive instead of a 8-12 hour flight arrangement away.

I hope either of them locate permanently somewhere nice some day. We're only 64 and health is great, can afford our own care but would love to have someone we trust nearby to help watch our descent and make sure no one takes advantage of us.
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Old 05-24-2015, 08:14 PM   #33
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We moved and found new friends as well as kept those most important to us. Our children moved away,are independent, found jobs and spouses and were not going to move back near us. Both children are subject to transferring so we could not expect to follow one or the other. We lived about 4 hours away from DW's family and I bet we see them more often now even though we moved 12 hrs away. In our case most of our old friends were actually acquaintances from work or our children's school activities. We still have our core of 8 to 10 friends that we can count on and are cultivating new ones at our new home. As for assistance as we get older, well when the time comes, we'll move again to a more suitable location. Here we have enough community driven assistance not to worry about a car ride or a visit when we are sick. For us, change is cathartic and we embrace the new things that we experience every day.
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Old 05-29-2015, 02:00 PM   #34
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My parents moved to Myrtle Beach when they retired; they were in their late 50s and have developed many good friendships since they moved their almost 30 years ago. At the time, two brothers lived in Ohio where we'd been raised, one was in NC and a sister was on Hilton Head. I was in NJ. They joked that they figured people would visit a lot if they moved someplace warm and sunny, and we did. In the meantime, the two brothers in Ohio also moved to SC. They're all a 3 to 5-hour drive away but it helps. When Mom came down with pneumonia while Dad was recuperating from a hip replacement, one brother went over and ran errands, etc. for a couple of days till they were both more mobile. (Mom's last words to Dad as the ambulance team took her out of the house: "Don't tell the kids." Gotta love Mom.)

So: people move and, as someone said, if you stay someplace to be near them, they may relocate anyway. DH and I do plan to stay in our immediate area (KC suburb) even though DS and our only grandchild are 3 hours away; we like it here and have put down roots, and get to see our granddaughter every couple of months. And, if all goes well with the downsizing, we'll be living on a lake in a house with a 2-BR suite downstairs overlooking the lake so maybe they'll come visit!

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