Multi-Generational Home Purchase

[mexexpat]

They are only in their 30s...."life" will happen to them. Divorce? Kids (many are unplanned or they simply change their mind)? A great job opportunity elsewhere? Plain old Wanderlust...they (or you) want a change in location/lifestyle? Finances change unexpectedly and one party needs to tap equity? Health changes...and do not assume it will be the older generation?

You need to discuss an exit strategy BEFORE you sign on the bottom line. And you need to have it in writing, either in the Deed or a separate contract.

 

[daylatedollarshort]

I volunteer with a lady who lives on a "compound" with her family. They're not wealthy, but own a few acres in the country. So, parents, brother/wife, my friend another lady who is like family have their own homes on this property. I love this idea and would do that if I had the opportunity. They have each other for security, get together (or not) but are within an earshot of each other. They built their homes (again small homes) to their liking.

I am interested in tiny house living as is one of our kids. We have talked about this as well. I think we would still keep the current house, but I could see buying land in a pretty but more rural part of Northern California and building a couple of tiny houses. It would be the main house for one of the kids who would like a more country life, and a vacation home for us.

 

[Brat]

I have looked at tiny houses but many do not accommodate the elderly.

 

[Sojourner]

We would share the main living room, dining room and kitchen for family time together.

This, IMHO, is where the biggest source of day-to-day annoyance, irritation, and/or conflict will come from. Even though you may never have had even a moment of trouble getting along with DD and SIL, when you start living the reality of having to share a kitchen with them and work out who is using it when, and for how long, every single day... then it becomes not so idyllic pretty quickly. Same goes for any other shared space or resource.

As far as getting along and living together under one roof... its the least of our concerns. If anyone has doubts it's me... our DD and SIL are very enthusiastic about the idea... as is my DW. (we have already spent a significant amount of time together living in our existing home).

You and DW are a married couple who are essentially on the same "team", and your DD and SIL are also on the same "team". Even though your two teams get along really well, teams by nature can and will have different philosophies and viewpoints about numerous things, large and small, and will have disagreements and conflicts. This, IMHO, is inevitable regardless, but when living under the same roof and sharing living spaces 24/7, it is a certainty. One that you should carefully consider and think about in a realistic manner.

Assuming "living under one roof" is not going to be a problem... what other concerns should we consider?

How to agree upon and handle shared expenses would be my number one concern. For example, you share the kitchen. What if your team (you and DW) think the dishwasher needs to be replaced, yet the other team (DD and SIL) disagree? They like it as-is and think buying a new one is wasting money. Who decides how to resolve the conflict? Any decision is likely to cause one team some degree of annoyance. There will be many things like this, large and small, that you'll have to deal with over the years. If I were you, I'd be concerned that this "drip drip drip" effect might eventually lead to a fair amount of disharmony between everyone involved.

 

[daylatedollarshort]

I have looked at tiny houses but many do not accommodate the elderly.

If we did this, we would just use it as a vacation home so not an issue for us, but there are videos on tiny homes for the elderly and disabled -

 

[Calico]

If we did this, we would just use it as a vacation home so not an issue for us, but there are videos on tiny homes for the elderly and disabled -

Thank you very much for sharing this link. What a charming and perfect little house!

 

[Music Lover]

If I had to share with anyone, I'd get a duplex or a house with a separate in-law suite. They have virtually all the benefits of a shared residence with almost none of the negatives.

They are also far easier to sell.

 

[Retch The Grate]

I think it is a wonderful idea. I'm not sure my DW would agree (I know that while she loves her mom, she does NOT want to live with her, the 1 month visit in our guest room a few months ago was great and about the longest my DW wants her mom around at a time. I've visited my folks for multiple month stretches between jobs, which has been fun, but I do like having separate space from them.

I've seen some interesting multi-generational or poly household houses here in Silicon Valley. One fascinating one had a central dining room/kitchen/large space area, with two wings sticking off of it, each of which had a set of 1 bedroom apartments with individual kitchens and garages. I really wish I'd had the money to buy it at the time, would be great as a living space with friends and family.

 

[Scrapr]

I think an ADU would be preferable to sharing the same space. My MIL neighbor had one built a few years ago. Architect design and really laid out well. Owner fixed up the big house then built the ADU behind it. Bigger than a Tiny house. Does have stairs. 2 people might be a bit tight. But she is single and really enjoys it