Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 11-09-2011, 07:11 PM   #21
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
DangerMouse's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Silicon Valley
Posts: 1,812
No personal knowledge of broken hips but I believe the best thing is to get up and get them moving as soon as they can.

Sorry to hear your family is going thru this. Sometimes you wonder how much life can keep throwing at you.
__________________

__________________

I be a girl, he's a boy. Think I maybe FIRED since July 08. Mid 40s, no kidlets. Actually am totally clueless as to what is going on with DH.
DangerMouse is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 11-09-2011, 10:37 PM   #22
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 2,426
Spent the day at the hospital with him. He's doing pretty well considering the circumstances. He had some PT this morning, they got him up with a walker and also into a chair. They said he can't put more than 50% weight on that leg, but it's a start.

The doctor came and wanted to remove his Foley catheter but he asked if he could keep it one more day, he likes not having to think about peeing. He was resistant to order any food but my sister and I ordered some scrambled eggs, a banana and sherbet for him and he ate pretty well. We also ordered a selection for breakfast at 8 am. At this hospital there are no set meal times with the day's menu. It's all done by calling for room service. Nice selection and very good quality. And you can order breakfast items all day which he liked.

His doctor talked about the move to the rehab facility and it could be tomorrow. My Dad would like to stay one more day if possible and move on Friday. He's comfortable enough and feels safe.

Quote:
Originally Posted by braumeister View Post
No knowledge of the case, obviously, but there is one point you could keep in mind.

At that age it's not unheard of for the sequence to be the reverse of what it seems to be. In other words, the hip breaks first (osteoporosis), which is what causes the person to fall. We naturally assume the hip breaks as a result of the fall, but it can actually be the other way around.
You know, that's what he was talking about. He's thinking his leg gave out and that's what caused him to fall. He's lucky he was out in public instead of at home, alone. His apartment is pretty soundproof and if he couldn't reach a phone I don't know if someone could hear him. Scary thought. I think a LifeAlert system will be the next step before he moves home.

I stopped at his apartment today to pick up his prescriptions, hearing aid batteries and to get a look in THE BOX. He had shown me a few years ago where they kept their important papers. It was all there, just like he said. He had a clearly labeled folder containing his will, his Living Will including Durable Power Of Attorney For Health Care and a separate Durable Power of Attorney for personal affairs and/or business or property. The medical POA names my mom then me and then my sister. The personal affairs POA names me, then my sister.

With his permission I brought the folder to the hospital and my sister and I read through it.

He seems to need lots of reassuring about what happens next and how long until the next thing. That makes sense considering he's suddenly out of his normal world and stuck in a hospital. He's like me where he's polite and doesn't want to bother people but one of his nurses reminded him that they work for him and he should speak up if he wants anything.

So we're making progress. We will be there again tomorrow and get ready for the move to rehab. I'm exhausted but I'm so glad I'm able to be there for him.

Thanks for all the responses. Speak up if there's something you think we've missed. In another topic someone had mentioned checking on the Durable POA so I'm glad we've got that covered.
__________________

__________________
Married, both 62. DH retired June, 2010. I have a pleasant little part time job.
Sue J is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-10-2011, 01:52 AM   #23
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
obgyn65's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: midwestern city
Posts: 4,061
Catching up late with this thread.... Take care, Sue.
__________________
Very conservative with investments. Not ER'd yet, 48 years old. Please do not take anything I write or imply as legal, financial or medical advice directed to you. Contact your own financial advisor, healthcare provider, or attorney for financial, medical and legal advice.
obgyn65 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-10-2011, 09:49 AM   #24
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 182
My Mom (77 at the time) fell and broke her right shoulder. Surgery and a month in rehab had her home and on the mend. Within a year, she fell and broke her other shoulder. Surgery and another month in rehab. On the mend again, but clearly taken down emotionally and physically by it all. Within another year, she fell and broke her hip. Surgery again and more rehab. That was a year ago. She’s on the mend again, but although the hip has healed fairly well, one of the shoulders never healed properly and has really messed up her strength and range of motion.

She’s 79 now and is quite “wobbly” in her walking. I know it’s just a matter of time before we get another phone call that she fell again. It’s very sad and very tough to deal with all the way around.
__________________
lowflyer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-10-2011, 10:17 AM   #25
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
HFWR's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Lawn chair in Texas
Posts: 12,964
Quote:
Originally Posted by JPatrick View Post
I don't have any hip tales to share, but I hope your Dad's experience is as positive as it can be.
One thing is for sure, it is obvious that he has a great daughter on his team, and that is mighty important.
Hang in there!
+1
__________________
Have Funds, Will Retire

...not doing anything of true substance...
HFWR is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-10-2011, 10:53 AM   #26
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Brat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Portland, Oregon
Posts: 5,914
I have dealt with my Mom's hip fractures. A LifeAlert type of emergency caller will be very important. After he is in a rehab facility take a look at his apartment from a safety standpoint: look at stairs, trip hazards and the bathroom particularly. He should have a toilet that meets handicap standards (they are higher). Look for sturdy grab bars in the shower/bath.

If finances allow consider moving him to an assisted living apartment. Inquire where your parents friends are now living, often if friends are there the transition is easier.
__________________
Duck bjorn.
Brat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-10-2011, 11:09 AM   #27
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 2,975
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brat View Post
I have dealt with my Mom's hip fractures. A LifeAlert type of emergency caller will be very important. After he is in a rehab facility take a look at his apartment from a safety standpoint: look at stairs, trip hazards and the bathroom particularly. He should have a toilet that meets handicap standards (they are higher). Look for sturdy grab bars in the shower/bath.
+1

When my grandmother fell and broke her hip she used her life alert and had help quickly. If she hadn't had it she may have been there for hours. She slipped on a rug so in addition to the points made in the quote above, check for slip hazards.
__________________
aaronc879 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-10-2011, 12:06 PM   #28
Recycles dryer sheets
Nuiloa's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 496
I heartily agree with the Life Alert option.

My mom was home for a week after a 2-month stay in hospital. My bro and his wife checked on her daily by phone and spent every evening with her. One night they left at about 9 pm. Mom apparently got up from her chair and lost her balance. She fell against the fridge and broke a couple of ribs and did not have the strength to get back up. When she tried to reach the phone, she pulled it out of the wall. She wound up spending the night on the floor in her kitchen, unable to call anyone, half-frozen and in pain, unable to get to the bathroom and forced to lie in her own waste.

Normally, my bro would not have seen her until the next evening but, for some reason, my SIL decided to come over at 9 a.m. to check on her and found her semi-conscious. A few more days in hospital - but when she came out we insisted that she get Life Alert plus day-time nursing care.

Mom was an alcoholic, so falling was almost a weekly event with her. Life Alert made all the difference for our peace of mind.

Nui
__________________
Inside me is a skinny person crying to get out, but I can usually shut the b*tch up with cookies
Nuiloa is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-10-2011, 07:30 PM   #29
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 73
From what I hear, hip breaks are not the disaster they once were. they fix em up with screws or whatever is needed and get people moving pretty quickly. It was the long period of bed rest for healing that used to result in pneumonia or other problems for older people. Of course everyone is different but if your Dad is motivated to do his rehab he most likely will do fine. Hang in there. We're thinking of you.
__________________
bikeknit is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-10-2011, 08:07 PM   #30
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 8,627
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sue J View Post
...
So tell me your broken hip stories. Do people ever recover completely? I know this could be the beginning of the end, but I could use some hopeful news.
Sorry, all my broken hip stories end with death during surgery. At least y'all are past that.
__________________
LOL! is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-11-2011, 06:09 AM   #31
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Dawg52's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Central MS/Orange Beach, AL
Posts: 7,446
Sorry for your Dad's misfortune. My mother(93) fell in early April and broke her hip and shoulder. The shoulder made her recovery tougher as she couldn't balance herself or hold onto a walker very well. But after 3 months of rehab in a nursing home, she is back home and can get around with a walker. She is frail and someone has to be with her as she walks or she could topple over. I have a sitter stay with her during the day. All in all, she's happy and glad she can live at home again. I stay with her at night and help her to bed before going home. I live in the neighborhood.

Her sister fell and broke her hip in her early 80's and she bounced back very well. She moved in with my parents and lived with them for several years before passing. She got around well during those years though.

You have already been giving good suggestions. Sounds like he has been very mobile up to this point so I'm guessing he will regain most of it again. Best of luck with your Dad.
__________________
Retired 3/31/2007@52
Full time wuss.......
Dawg52 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-11-2011, 09:41 PM   #32
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 2,426
Today he moved from the hospital to the nursing home for rehab. We don't know how long he'll be in rehab but I expect it to be a few weeks. The move went fine, they helped him put his clothes on and he almost looked "normal". He was exhausted after the move and the whirlwind of people coming and going. We hated to leave the hospital, the place was excellent and the staff and care were outstanding. If you're ever in Northeast Ohio and have a need for medical care this is the place to go -
University Hospitals Ahuja Medical Center | University Hospitals | Beachwood, OH

On to the nursing home. As he was getting settled I went to the admissions office to see what needed to be done. I put some money on an account for him to use for personal stuff if needed. They had papers to sign and said I could sign them but he's still competent so we went to his room for him to sign things.

Ok, here's where my head starts to spin. My Dad has an Anthem Senior Advantage Basic HMO Plan. I assumed this was a Medicare Supplement. The nursing home explained to me that it's not a supplement, it's a REPLACEMENT for Medicare. WHAT?? I never heard of this. All these commercials are on tv and I just hadn't really paid attention. My Dad has had this plan for a few years, he's been very pleased with it. The issue for the nursing home is that Anthem has them re-certify his stay every 5 days. I'm not sure if that's the correct term. They are encouraging us to have him change back to Traditional Medicare during the current Open Enrollment, by Dec. 7th.

Can anyone tell me, is this just an issue of the 5 day Anthem requirement being an annoyance to them with extra paperwork? Or is this a genuine issue of a Medicare replacement vs. Traditional Medicare?

We stopped at his apartment to get him some clothes and check his mail and I brought home his Anthem folder with his plan documents. 150 pages (large print) that explain the coverage. Looks pretty good to me but my experience with health insurance has always been regular stuff, I've never dealt with Medicare or any alternatives.

This is a whole new world and I think I'd like to rewind about 3 weeks and get prepared for what's coming.
__________________
Married, both 62. DH retired June, 2010. I have a pleasant little part time job.
Sue J is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-11-2011, 09:59 PM   #33
Moderator Emeritus
Rich_by_the_Bay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 8,827
I believe, but am not certain, that all Medicare Advantage plans are indeed like MC replacements. They cover more than MC alone, and effectively replace it with (for their premiums) a broader range of services, deductibles and co-pays.

It's unusual to call it a MC replacement, but in many ways that's what it is.

Glad things are stable for now.
__________________
Rich
San Francisco Area
ESR'd March 2010. FIRE'd January 2011.

As if you didn't know..If the above message contains medical content, it's NOT intended as advice, and may not be accurate, applicable or sufficient. Don't rely on it for any purpose. Consult your own doctor for all medical advice.
Rich_by_the_Bay is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-11-2011, 10:10 PM   #34
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
haha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 22,387
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sue J View Post
Ok, here's where my head starts to spin. My Dad has an Anthem Senior Advantage Basic HMO Plan. I assumed this was a Medicare Supplement. The nursing home explained to me that it's not a supplement, it's a REPLACEMENT for Medicare. WHAT?? I never heard of this. All these commercials are on tv and I just hadn't really paid attention. My Dad has had this plan for a few years, he's been very pleased with it. The issue for the nursing home is that Anthem has them re-certify his stay every 5 days. I'm not sure if that's the correct term. They are encouraging us to have him change back to Traditional Medicare during the current Open Enrollment, by Dec. 7th.

Can anyone tell me, is this just an issue of the 5 day Anthem requirement being an annoyance to them with extra paperwork? Or is this a genuine issue of a Medicare replacement vs. Traditional Medicare?
Sue, I just came from a Medicare Advantage seminar this morning. It sounds like what your Dad has is a Medicare Advantage Plan, aka Medicare Part C. These depend on your being enrolled in Medicare Parts A and B, but are in fact separate plans with separate rules, charges, and benefits.

Like most things involving seniors in USA, they are incredibly complex and frustrating. One thing about switching back to Medicare Classic- he likely cannot get a Medigap policy at this time, as these will be health contingent. So he will be exposed to various unpaid charges approved but left unpaid by Medicare.

I would recommend speaking to your state insurance department, and also a quality insurance broker. Also, we have a health insurance expert on this board named Gotadimple. If she is around, she may be able to offer some insight.

There are a lot of one way gates in this stuff.

Ha
__________________
"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
haha is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 11-15-2011, 12:54 PM   #35
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 2,426
Quote:
Originally Posted by haha View Post
Sue, I just came from a Medicare Advantage seminar this morning. It sounds like what your Dad has is a Medicare Advantage Plan, aka Medicare Part C. These depend on your being enrolled in Medicare Parts A and B, but are in fact separate plans with separate rules, charges, and benefits.

Like most things involving seniors in USA, they are incredibly complex and frustrating. One thing about switching back to Medicare Classic- he likely cannot get a Medigap policy at this time, as these will be health contingent. So he will be exposed to various unpaid charges approved but left unpaid by Medicare.

I would recommend speaking to your state insurance department, and also a quality insurance broker. Also, we have a health insurance expert on this board named Gotadimple. If she is around, she may be able to offer some insight.

There are a lot of one way gates in this stuff.

Ha
Thank you, Ha. So far he wants to stay with his Anthem plan and I think the inability to get a Medigap policy makes staying with Anthem the best choice for now.

A quick update -
I'm no longer visiting daily, my sister lives a few miles away and I'm 30 miles away and have a part-time job so she's doing the daily visits and I'm calling frequently. DH went to visit yesterday afternoon and left to come home at 5:15pm and had to deal with suburban Cleveland rush hour traffic so it took him over an hour to get home instead of 35 minutes.

My Dad is sore from daily physical therapy. He's practicing transferring from his bed to the wheelchair without assistance. He says it's very hard but he knows he needs to do this to go home. He's eaten in the group dining room and talked with a few "old farts". They are probably younger than him!

I brought in a double picture frame from his apartment. One side is a picture of him at 17 when he quit school to join the Navy. Cute young sailor! The other side is him in a cap and gown at age 79 when he finally got his high school diploma in a ceremony with our younger son when he graduated from high school in 2005. It was done through a program where veterans can get their diploma by using their military service and life experience to complete the unfinished business of graduating. It was a very proud moment for him, my son presented the diploma to him in front of all the people attending the graduation and the local newspaper had a nice article about it. I figured this would give the people working with him in rehab a glimpse of the real guy before his current situation and it's a nice conversation starter.

I talked to his investments guy at Wells Fargo about his RMD for this year. He's already withdrawn about 2/3 of what's required and wants to make sure that it's completed. No problem, I can call and get that done.

As for when he leaves rehab, he's asked about the home health aide that helped my sister's DH's parents before they died. He knows who she is and how well she cared for my BIL's parents in their own home for many years. She's currently with an agency but would love to work for him if needed. Nice to know that she's available and he's interested!

I'll go visit soon, maybe over the weekend. I'd like to go on a day when I have time to make a stop at the cemetery. It was just 3 weeks ago but I feel the need to see it again. It all happened so fast and when I replay it in my head I just feel the need to go there and take it all in slowly. I think I'm doing ok except that frequently I wake up crying, which right now seems appropriate and healthy for what we've been though.

Thanks for all the comments and positive thoughts.
__________________
Married, both 62. DH retired June, 2010. I have a pleasant little part time job.
Sue J is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-15-2011, 03:32 PM   #36
Dryer sheet aficionado
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 36
Sue, you don't know me and I'm not a frequent poster, but I am sorry to hear about your mom and your dad.

My dad died a few years ago, and your comment about waking up crying brought back memories for me. I remember wondering 6 weeks later if there would ever be a day I wouldn't feel broken hearted and so incredibly sad. My advice is to be sure to take the time to acknowledge the loss of your mom. I was so focused on my mom, like you are with your dad, that I didn't give myself permission to feel the loss as well.

So if you're wondering, you will stop crying. You won't ever stop missing her and wishing she was there to tell your news, but it won't take your breath away like it may right now when you wake up remembering.

Your dad sounds like a great guy and his attitude will be what gets him through. There are a huge range of outcomes with broken hips, don't assume the worst, but be prepared on his needing extra care.

I'll be thinking of you.
__________________
marylandcrab is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-15-2011, 10:19 PM   #37
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Brat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Portland, Oregon
Posts: 5,914
My mother died a couple years ago. A SIL asked me if there was anything I wished I had done. I said I wished I had had more conversations with her while she had her faculties. We lived in another town, several hours away, so it would have been difficult BUT had I known I would have made the time.
__________________
Duck bjorn.
Brat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-16-2011, 05:34 PM   #38
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 152
MIL was only 79 and in the hospital recovering from a heart attack when a nurse accidently let go of her and she fell and broke her hip. DH and I thought this was it for her -- heart issues, diabetes, tiny 90 lber and now a broken hip. We were very wrong. She sailed through rehab. After that she did use a walker but that was more for the neuropathy in her feet than the hip. She lived 6 more happy years.

I'm so sorry for what you've been through with the loss of your mother and your father's broken hip, but I think he'll do just fine.
__________________
FurBall is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-18-2011, 11:32 PM   #39
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 2,426
I got a sub for my job for Wednesday afternoon and went to the cemetery and then to the nursing home for a visit with my Dad. I stopped at the cemetery first. It was empty and I took my time. She won't have a stone until spring but it was easy to find the section and the grave. I looked all around and noticed the surroundings and details I missed before. A lot of the stones have poems or quotes and on the back of someone's stone it said "Enough with the pictures". I can imagine a family gathering and someone saying that after too much posing and smiling.

I'm glad I went to the cemetery. It must have been the right thing to do because I feel like a layer of grief has been lifted. I'm no longer waking up crying.

I had a nice visit with my Dad. He's working hard at the therapy and feels settled in. He says the staff are all kind and patient. He recognized one of the nurse's last name, it turns out that she is my late brother's ex-wife's niece. She never met my brother but knew the name. Small world!

Before my Mom died my parents used to eat out at restaurants every day, either lunch or dinner. My Dad always carried Hershey's Kisses in his pocket and he'd ask the waitress, waiter or cashier, "Can I give you a kiss?" and then hand out his Hershey's Kisses. So we brought him bags of Hershey's Kisses to the nursing home so that he can do the same thing there. He likes being able to do it again and it gives everyone a smile. A little chocolate can mean a lot.

Up until now he has wanted to keep paying his bills himself. He asked us to bring in his checkbook and write the check and then he'd sign it and we could mail it in. Then he said I should just write his name so that it looks like his signature and just take care of it all. He has a Durable POA for personal affairs that names me so I asked him if I could just handle it all for him and he said that was fine. I stopped at a local branch of his bank yesterday, they copied the POA paperwork and now I can just handle it all. I looked at his bank account online and he has been doing a fine job, pays everything early and even after what he's been though he knows the amounts and dates of all of his bills. His files are neat and orderly. I should have no problem with this and I feel better knowing he wants me to take over and I'm doing it properly with the bank.

I had an email conversation with an insurance broker who knows all about Medicare issues. He agreed that staying with the Anthem Advantage Plan is fine for now. He is a friend of my sister's and offered any help if we had more questions. Also, I got a few books out of the library on Medicare and options just so I can get a basic understanding. How do the elderly manage this?

When I left him on Wednesday he was getting wheeled down the hall for a haircut and a nail trim. He had a big smile because he likes the attention from the ladies. He had already asked how much it would cost and had figured out the tip and checked that he had money in his personal spending account at the office.

When I talked to him yesterday he had been to the facility kitchen with a group of patients where they all peeled apples. I don't know if it was part of occupational therapy or KP duty but he seemed to enjoy it and there was pie later in the day!

DH and I are going to see him again on Saturday, my sister has been going every day and she needs a day off.
__________________
Married, both 62. DH retired June, 2010. I have a pleasant little part time job.
Sue J is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-18-2011, 11:58 PM   #40
Recycles dryer sheets
Nova's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 270
What a treasure you and your sister are to your father. I hope your dad has a speedy recovery.
__________________

__________________
Nova is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


 

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 03:00 PM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.