Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
My turn again - Dad fell and broke his hip
Old 11-08-2011, 07:28 PM   #1
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,652
My turn again - Dad fell and broke his hip

It's been just two weeks since Mom died and last night around 6pm I got a call from a gentleman saying that he had taken my Dad to the emergency room. My Dad was at the food court at the mall, went to sit down at a table and fell. People came over and helped him into the chair, they got mall security and they offered to get an ambulance and he said he was ok. They got all the information and filled out an incident report but he didn't want to go to the hospital.

He ate his food ("I paid for it so I wanted to eat it") but he realized he was in a lot of pain and couldn't get up from the chair. A man he knows from the food court offered to take him to the Emergency Room. They got a wheelchair and the man somehow got him into his pickup truck and drove him to the hospital.

When he called me he said it didn't seem that bad, my Dad thought he just got a bad bruise from landing on his wallet (it's a big wallet!) but the xrays showed a fracture in the bone just below the hip joint. DH was there with me and we all knew what this means. He's 85 and knows too many people who have gone through this and never been the same.

When he realized he wasn't going home he started telling us all the things he wanted us to take care of. First, get his car at the mall and take it home, call the cleaning service and cancel for Tuesday, take the bananas and melon that he just bought and cancel the newspaper.

He's very practical and logical. For what he's been through in the last 2 weeks he's still very organized and methodical. Once he was admitted and settled in his room for the night we took care of moving his car and going up to his apartment. Nothing was out of place, he told me where his appointment book was and what to take care of. He knew the balance in his checking account and he knew that all the bills are paid except for the condo fees which are due at the end of the month.

He was in a lot of pain. He finally got some morphine in the ER. He's always been very tolerant of pain but this was tough on him and I could see it in his face, especially when they transferred him to his bed.

DH drove us home around 1:30am and I fell apart in the passenger seat. I haven't fully felt the deep grief I had expected from my Mom's death and seeing my Dad going through this just brought it all together. Wow, this is heavy stuff.

He's in an amazing hospital, brand new and very high tech, it just opened in February. He's getting lots of attention. The staff don't appear to be overworked, cranky, or burned out. Everyone takes their time and explains everything. They tell you how much they enjoy working there. When they ask about his medical history and situation I tell them about my mom's death 2 weeks ago, just so they know. He needs a little extra TLC.

So the surgery was this afternoon. Everything went well and we didn't come home until he was back in his room and his pain meds kicked in. Poor guy, he's mad at himself for causing everybody trouble. He was so proud to be able to manage being alone. He just wants to get better so he can go back home. So far the plan is a few more days in the hospital and then an extended stay in a rehabilitation place. My sister volunteers at a very nice nursing home that has rehab so that's probably where he will go.

So far it's been just me and DH handling this. My sister and BIL had a trip to Palm Desert, CA planned for months and left last Saturday. I called her from the ER and she's coming home overnight and will be with him ASAP tomorrow morning.

So tell me your broken hip stories. Do people ever recover completely? I know this could be the beginning of the end, but I could use some hopeful news.
__________________

__________________
Married, both 59. DH retired June, 2010. I have a pleasant little part time job.
Sue J is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 11-08-2011, 07:36 PM   #2
Moderator
Bestwifeever's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 13,155
Oh, my, I am so sorry your dad has to suffer through this! No experience with family members breaking a hip, but just sorry your family will deal with this so soon after your mother passed away. I'm sure your father feels terrible that your sister came home from her trip, too. Hang in there.
__________________

__________________
Bestwifeever is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-08-2011, 07:36 PM   #3
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
haha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 19,902
Sue, I am so sorry that you have to deal with this, so soon after your Mother's death.

I hope that everything goes very well for your Dad.
__________________
Insanity in individuals is something rare-but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule-Friederich Nietzsche
haha is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-08-2011, 07:38 PM   #4
Recycles dryer sheets
Coolius's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 262
My mother was 88 and not doing too well health-wise, and took a bad fall that broke her hip, just like your dad. In her case, unfortunately, she became very withdrawn and stopped all her usual daily activities. She would just sit in her chair the entire day with eyes closed, not saying a word.

She passed away a few months later. My sister's account was that it was quite peaceful as she just passed on one day sitting in the chair.

This was about 5 years ago. My dad had passed on 6 years before this.

I will pray for your dad to recover quickly, but from what you have described he seems to have retained his senses and cognitive abilities, and that's an excellent situation.
__________________
Coolius is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-08-2011, 07:59 PM   #5
Moderator
Rich_by_the_Bay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 8,751


What an ugly streak of misfortune. So sorry, Sue. You'll soldier through it.

My only advice (FWIW): take care of yourself. That's the best way to help Dad.
__________________
Rich
San Francisco Area
ESR'd March 2010. FIRE'd January 2011.

As if you didn't know..If the above message contains medical content, it's NOT intended as advice, and may not be accurate, applicable or sufficient. Don't rely on it for any purpose. Consult your own doctor for all medical advice.
Rich_by_the_Bay is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-08-2011, 08:03 PM   #6
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,747
If he was healthy enough to go out to the mall by himself before then I see no reason not to expect a full recovery. My grandmother broke here hip several years ago. I forget exactly when it was but she was at least 85 at the time. She spent a full week in the hospital then went home. She lives in a regular apartment. She had one of her daughters stop by daily for a while and she used a walker for several months but now she's just fine at age 95. She's still living on here own, walking without assistance most of the time. Sometimes she holds someones arm or if she's going to a crowded restaurant she may bring a cane just because it makes here feel safer not that she really needs it. There's a very real possibility he'll make a full or nearly full recovery. Best of luck.
__________________
aaronc879 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-08-2011, 08:07 PM   #7
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Moemg's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Sarasota,fl.
Posts: 8,701
Sue , You have had more than your share of grief lately . Take care !
__________________
Moemg is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-08-2011, 08:51 PM   #8
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Meadbh's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 6,898
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moemg View Post
Sue , You have had more than your share of grief lately . Take care !
+1
__________________
For more about me, see my profile.
Meadbh is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-08-2011, 09:01 PM   #9
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
bbbamI's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Dallas 'burb
Posts: 8,720
Oh...Sue I'm so sorry.

I don't have any experience regarding hip fractures.

As you know, my momma passed away a week ago and I worry about my daddy...he lives two states away. Try to find some comfort in that you live fairly close to him and he sounds like a man full of moxie.
__________________
There's no need to complicate, our time is short..
bbbamI is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-08-2011, 09:26 PM   #10
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
Rambler's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 2,063
I really liked aaronc879's account, and hope that our dad can do this well. My experience is with my grandmother, and it was not so good, but it would appear that your Dad's situation is much better than my grandmother's. In her case, she was 80, and had metastatic cancer that had started as a melanoma on her leg, moved to her breast, then her lungs, then her bones. She was in pretty rough shape, but she loved to go for her daily walk, regardless. One day while out in her walk, her hip simply disintegrated after having already been weakened by the cancer.

She took it in stride, but there was nothing that could be done for her except to keep her comfortable. My mom sat with her during the day and some of my cousins stayed with her at night. We had a hospital bed set up in her living room. She lasted a couple of months, but even though we knew she was in severe pain, she rarely complained. She had lost her husband, my grandfather six months prior to the hip break, and I think she wanted to go be with him. Eventually she passed quietly.

Sounds to me though, that your dad is in better shape, has his things and his thoughts together, and has a lot to live for. I believe this makes a difference. All the best to him, and prayers for a speedy recovery.

R
__________________
Find Joy in the Journey...
Rambler is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-08-2011, 09:59 PM   #11
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
JPatrick's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,282
I don't have any hip tales to share, but I hope your Dad's experience is as positive as it can be.
One thing is for sure, it is obvious that he has a great daughter on his team, and that is mighty important.
Hang in there!
__________________
JPatrick is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-08-2011, 10:36 PM   #12
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 92
My dad had a major upper leg fracture at 76 (titanium rods inserted, etc). Took a few weeks of hospitalization, few months of limited mobility but after a year he was almost back to normal and fully independent. Physical health before the fracture, bone strength, mental attitude and motivation played an important role, imo.
Good luck.
__________________
pixelville is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-08-2011, 11:35 PM   #13
Moderator Emeritus
Nords's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Oahu
Posts: 26,320
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sue J View Post
He just wants to get better so he can go back home. So far the plan is a few more days in the hospital and then an extended stay in a rehabilitation place. My sister volunteers at a very nice nursing home that has rehab so that's probably where he will go.
So tell me your broken hip stories. Do people ever recover completely? I know this could be the beginning of the end, but I could use some hopeful news.
His response to the rehab (and the pain of completing rehab) will tell you how he's going to handle the next few months. It sounds like he really has his act together.

If you haven't already then you probably need to start talking to the hospital's discharge coordinator tomorrow to arrange the transfer to the rehab facility. They need to make sure they have the room, and they don't like admitting new residents on weekends (when they're at minimum staff).

There's a lot of great tech out there for people who want to live independently (and have the cognition to do so) but need occasional help from service staff, a rehab CNA, or an RN. Take a look at Ho'okele's iHealthHome - Living Independently. Living Well. Living Safely. . Note-- you don't have to be in Hawaii to use it-- you may find equivalent tech in your area, or you could ask Ho'okele to help you find a way to make it happen in your area.
__________________
*
*

The book written on E-R.org, "The Military Guide to Financial Independence and Retirement", on sale now! For more info see "About Me" in my profile.
I don't spend much time here anymore, so please send me a PM. Thanks.
Nords is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-08-2011, 11:39 PM   #14
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 194
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sue J View Post
It's been just two weeks since Mom died and last night around 6pm I got a call from a gentleman saying that he had taken my Dad to the emergency room. My Dad was at the food court at the mall, went to sit down at a table and fell. People came over and helped him into the chair, they got mall security and they offered to get an ambulance and he said he was ok. They got all the information and filled out an incident report but he didn't want to go to the hospital.

He ate his food ("I paid for it so I wanted to eat it") but he realized he was in a lot of pain and couldn't get up from the chair. A man he knows from the food court offered to take him to the Emergency Room. They got a wheelchair and the man somehow got him into his pickup truck and drove him to the hospital.

When he called me he said it didn't seem that bad, my Dad thought he just got a bad bruise from landing on his wallet (it's a big wallet!) but the xrays showed a fracture in the bone just below the hip joint. DH was there with me and we all knew what this means. He's 85 and knows too many people who have gone through this and never been the same.

When he realized he wasn't going home he started telling us all the things he wanted us to take care of. First, get his car at the mall and take it home, call the cleaning service and cancel for Tuesday, take the bananas and melon that he just bought and cancel the newspaper.

He's very practical and logical. For what he's been through in the last 2 weeks he's still very organized and methodical. Once he was admitted and settled in his room for the night we took care of moving his car and going up to his apartment. Nothing was out of place, he told me where his appointment book was and what to take care of. He knew the balance in his checking account and he knew that all the bills are paid except for the condo fees which are due at the end of the month.

He was in a lot of pain. He finally got some morphine in the ER. He's always been very tolerant of pain but this was tough on him and I could see it in his face, especially when they transferred him to his bed.

DH drove us home around 1:30am and I fell apart in the passenger seat. I haven't fully felt the deep grief I had expected from my Mom's death and seeing my Dad going through this just brought it all together. Wow, this is heavy stuff.

He's in an amazing hospital, brand new and very high tech, it just opened in February. He's getting lots of attention. The staff don't appear to be overworked, cranky, or burned out. Everyone takes their time and explains everything. They tell you how much they enjoy working there. When they ask about his medical history and situation I tell them about my mom's death 2 weeks ago, just so they know. He needs a little extra TLC.

So the surgery was this afternoon. Everything went well and we didn't come home until he was back in his room and his pain meds kicked in. Poor guy, he's mad at himself for causing everybody trouble. He was so proud to be able to manage being alone. He just wants to get better so he can go back home. So far the plan is a few more days in the hospital and then an extended stay in a rehabilitation place. My sister volunteers at a very nice nursing home that has rehab so that's probably where he will go.

So far it's been just me and DH handling this. My sister and BIL had a trip to Palm Desert, CA planned for months and left last Saturday. I called her from the ER and she's coming home overnight and will be with him ASAP tomorrow morning.

So tell me your broken hip stories. Do people ever recover completely? I know this could be the beginning of the end, but I could use some hopeful news.
Sorry for all of the bad news. Just reading an article in AARP magazine about broken hips and the various outcomes.

However, my Mother, fell a couple of years ago, broke the "ball" portion of the
hip. (ball and socket). So she had surgery to replace the ball.

The day after surgery, they had her walking. She went through the normal
rehab. Within 5 or 6 weeks she was walking like normal. At church the
members were amazed.

My Mother's attitude was, exercise, so she worked at it. She is very small, and thin. Always active, and very alert.

Oh, I forgot to mention, my Mothers is 94 years old. I think she was in her late 80's when she fell.

Hope things work out for you.
__________________
wolf is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-09-2011, 03:14 AM   #15
Full time employment: Posting here.
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Duesseldorf, Germany
Posts: 785
All the best to your Dad.
From what I saw in elder relatives those who did their exercises and were motivated to get back on their feet recovered much better than those who built up resistance.
__________________
chris2008 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-09-2011, 05:46 AM   #16
Recycles dryer sheets
davemartin88's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 388
Sue J, +1 on the hopes for a speedy recovery for your dad and late condolences for the loss of your mother. Try to take some time for yourself too with all that is going on. Sounds like your dad has his sh*# together which should help a lot. Best of luck.
__________________
davemartin88 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-09-2011, 06:52 AM   #17
Full time employment: Posting here.
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 687
I don't have any hip joint experience, however, my mother fell and broke her shoulder when she was 80. She had the surgery to replace it. A few days in the hospital and a week in rehab. She had 95% use of the shoulder within 6-9 months.
She lived until age 93 with no related problems.

I hope that everything works out for your dad.
__________________
FreeAtLast is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-09-2011, 01:57 PM   #18
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 1,065
I've known several people who have had their hips replaced - there are two keys for success:

1) The surgeon does a good job anatomically
2) The patient is diligent about their physical therapy - I think that the fact he is going to an outpatient rehab is good as they will focus on his recovery - he won't be distracted by other things.

From the sounds of it, he should do fine - he hasn't withdrawn, doesn't seem depressed and has a desire to continue on and work towards his independence again. It is hard after orthopedic surgery - the recover time is 6 mos to a year - with consistent PT, but the outlook can be very good if you are diligent (I speak from experience with two reconstructed ACL surgeries in two years....
__________________
Deserat aka Bridget
“We sleep soundly in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would do us harm.” - George Orwell/Winston Churchill
deserat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-09-2011, 02:11 PM   #19
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
braumeister's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 3,196
No knowledge of the case, obviously, but there is one point you could keep in mind.

At that age it's not unheard of for the sequence to be the reverse of what it seems to be. In other words, the hip breaks first (osteoporosis), which is what causes the person to fall. We naturally assume the hip breaks as a result of the fall, but it can actually be the other way around.
__________________
braumeister is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-09-2011, 03:54 PM   #20
Recycles dryer sheets
Nuiloa's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 496
My uncle had one hip bone replaced twice and the other one 4 times. His last surgery was at age 82.

It took a little longer to convalesce each time, but absolutely nothing stopped him. He rode his bike 5 miles a day until about age 80, when he found his balance was a bit off and he got scared of falling.

He and I used to go on long swims together every day during the summer: 1/4 mile each way, at least 4 times a day.

He walked, he chopped wood, he camped - in short, nothing stopped him.


My mother broke her hip, but didn't need surgery. She also broke her pelvis when she was 78 and that laid her up for awhile. She was always kind of sedentary but as far as we could tell, it didn't bother her at all once she had healed.

The fact that your dad is in such good shape mentally will probably be a huge factor in his recovery. I would watch for signs of depression - he's taken some hard hits in a short period of time.

All the best to you.

Nui
__________________

__________________
Inside me is a skinny person crying to get out, but I can usually shut the b*tch up with cookies
Nuiloa is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


 

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 04:07 AM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

Early Retirement News right to your Email!

Stay up-to-date with all the latest news to your inbox!

unsusbcribe at anytime with one click

Close [X]