Neighbors

[Tree-dweller]

From this very unscientific sampling, it looks like there is no norm. No surprise. A few folks are lucky enough to live on Primrose Lane, some live on Thorny Road (I feel for ya, Galaxy Boy), most live on Middle Street. But in thr spirit of Primrose Lane, here's hoping we all get to enjoy the holiday tomorrow in a satisfying way!

 

[Sarah in SC]

Kinda funny that this thread is going on, as last night around 11pm, the shrill neighbor decided to enumerate her husband's shortcomings to him at top volume. They were inside the house, but sound carries very far in such a quiet place.
We were trying to figure out if there was murder going on, or just mayhem. So far no bodies, so probably okay.

 

[imoldernu]

Our Florida community (350 homes) is rooted in friendship, and we interact with almost all of them, either through the activities, coffees and parties or small groups of "special" friends. Amazingly, few if any cliques. After living there (snowbirds) for 24 years, even know the names of the dogs.
Our campground home for the other 6 months of our first 14 years was an extremely close knit neighborhood with 8 families who did the 6/6. We did everything together from building rooms, to shopping to dining and card games 5 days a week.
Now, in a regular home in a CCRC, (65 regular homes) we are less active socially (by choice)... but do know and like our neighbors. We have HOA seasonal parties, and go to the central core of the rest of the development. Apartments, Assisted Living, Rehab, Nursing Home, and Alzheimer's unit... Meeting rooms, library and social rooms for cards and family visits. DW plays cards there, several days a week, and we go for lectures, parties sing alongs etc...
We are very happy with the arrangement. We are among the younger people in the community. The decision to move here when we did (10 years ago) meant that we were able to integrate with the entire community. I now have friends in their late eighties and early 90's who are wonderfully smart, social and active. This may sound strange to people in their 40's, 50's, and 60's, but a comfortable, safe, environment with many good friends makes for a low stress, happy life. So far, we still have all three homes and move between them, but transitioning to full time in the CCRC will be easy.

 

[LoneAspen]

Of the two homes I owned in Colorado (at different times), both were in mountainous rural subdivisions, but the lots were about 2 acres. Which isn't a ton of space, but enough to give good separation between houses.

Of the eight years or so I spent in those homes, I met neighbors maybe once, and that was fine by me.

I currently rent a home in a typical subdivision in Silicon Valley. It's not even a "smile and wave" kind of place. People come and go and usually don't even acknowledge each other, which is fine by me, too.

I think my aversion to neighbors started when I was kid living in a subdivision in the south. None of the immediate neighbors had kids, it was mostly older people living nearby. We didn't have a garage, either, just a carport. When my Mom would drive back to the house after getting groceries or whatever, and I was along, we'd get out of the car and more times than not, one of the neighbors on either side would be out doing something in their yard, and walk up to the fence and start chatting.

My Mom would make up an excuse and tell me "Gotta get the groceries inside. You go talk to the neighbors!" And then I'd be forced to stand there and chitchat with the neighbors. I hated it then, and hate it now.

That's one reason I like a garage so much. You can come and go without people stopping you and wanting to talk.

 

[tryan]

We had a nice neighborhood for a little while... cookouts and holiday parties . Then the guy in the middle (who hosted the great Christmas party) decided to clear cut 60 mature trees THEN have the lot surveyed. He didn't own a SINGLE tree. One lost ~20 trees and sued; we lost 40 and decided a fence would be better than suing. Three years - and an ulcer - later the suit settled for a mid-five-figure sum.

Now nobody talks ... no more parties. And the guy in the middle has his house in foreclosuer.

 

[ExFlyBoy5]

Ours is pretty close to Primrose. The neighborhood was built in the late 70s and to this day about 1/2 are the original owners. Our dead end street has 9 houses on it, and most of us will chat each other up. The house across the street from us as well as both neighbors (left and right) are rentals, but 2 of the 3 are great and the one isn't too bad, all things considered. There are several people on our street that are retired, so the neighborhood watch is in full effect. The retired folks (and a few that work at home) do a good job of watching over the street when neighbors are gone. We also do block parties a few times a year which is great.

All in all, it's a good neighborhood to be in!

Sent from my mobile device so please excuse grammatical errors.

 

[Rosie]

This is a very interesting discussion for me, it helps me figure out what I want & don't want in our next neighborhood.

I currently rent a home in a typical subdivision in Silicon Valley. It's not even a "smile and wave" kind of place. People come and go and usually don't even acknowledge each other, which is fine by me, too.

Same here, except we own our place. We barely know our neighbors, and I'm not sure I'm fine with that anymore.

For partly that reason, DH & I are toying with the idea of moving to an over-55 community. DH is kind of a hermit, but I'd like to be in a more social setting (we do our own thing so he'd be fine with remaining hermit-like). We don't have kids and we aren't fond of teenage kid noise, and we think we'd be OK with HOA regs, so that's a starting point at least. We might start looking for real sometime next year.

I've been searching this forum for discussions about people's experiences in over-55 communities and I've found a few, but they're several years old.

I don't want to hijack this thread, so if anyone can direct me to a more current (or otherwise useful) thread about the pros & cons of over-55 communities (with or w/o golf courses, gated or ungated -- those are options we're still weighing), I'd appreciate it. Or I'll start a new thread at some point.

 

[Sue J]

We are in a typical 1950's suburban block. Our most annoying neighbors, the elderly cranky folks who resented that we had children, have died off. A woman in her early 30's bought the house and has an ever changing list of boyfriends and other people who live there on and off. Her dog is lovely and we like to see her in the yard.

The elderly couple who lived on the other side moved away a few years ago and a single mom bought the house and over the summer built a large 2 car garage, taking up the entire backyard. My first thought was, "there goes our view", but DH said, "now we will have more privacy!" The garage was very well built and must have been a big investment, so I think it's a good thing.

Our neighbor across the street is our age with a lot of adult kids and many grandchildren. She is a lovely woman and it's fun to see all the family activity over there. Her 37 year old son and his own 7 year old son live with her. We'd see her son doing yard work and waiting for his kid to come home, but not venturing off the lot .... or driving......Hmmmm. That's due to his ankle device that keeps him on home confinement due to a hit and run, uninsured driver, yada yada. Turns out he has a looooooong record of interaction with the courts. He's currently paying restitution to his hit and run victim and is out on bond on a menacing/stalking charge involving an ex GF. We do the polite wave and smile when he's out. I check the court records now and then just to see what's new and we have a handy dandy police scanner radio for when police cars show up at their house, again.

Our neighborhood has never been the party gathering type, we are friendly enough and shovel each others walks if needed and help out when a car is stuck or a neighbors pet is running loose. We may chat outside on a warm night but it's only to catch up since I saw you last year.

 

[Cobra9777]

Our neighborhood was built in the late 60s, with large houses on 2-3 acre, heavily-wooded lots. The trees and physical separation of the houses do not promote a lot of neighborly interaction. Usually just a wave or nod if two of us happen to be checking the mail, walking the dog, or taking the trash out at the same time. Many of the people are retired and some are the original owners. It's quiet and private, and everyone likes it that way, including us.

About a year ago, someone set up our neighborhood on nextdoor.com and about one-third of people have joined. There was one neighborhood BBQ that resulted from that, but we did not go. They also occasionally share some useful information about break-ins or other suspicious activity. But otherwise, not much communication there either.

We have one weird neighbor who keeps trying to recruit the rest of us to join his "prepping" activities. Our paths have intersected a couple times at my mailbox and he will babble incessantly about the imminent collapse of society.

 

[Dog]

We currently live in a 1950's home that use to be in a small town on the water. Everyone knew everyone in the neighborhood and the town. Unfortunately the area became a highly desirable place to live and the past 20 years it has become over developed with McMansions and expensive cars flying down the once quiet roads. We nod to our neighbors, but that's it now.
We built our retirement home on a nearby rural island and spend most weekends there. Most are retired folks and/or original islanders. We know our neighbors and look forward to being there full time. They look for each other And do have parties, crab feeds, & BBQs.


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[splitwdw]

We live in a small town, little over 900 people. I know quite a few of the towns people from volunteering at different events. My neighbors are great except for one inconsiderate family, dogs chained out and bark for hours, block driveways, loud music, loud talking. The rest of us help each other. I had a tree come down and husband was out of town. Neighbors all helped clear the tree and elderly neighbor kept the coffee coming. I mow the elderly neighbors lawn and shovel his snow. We don't go out with neighbors but do sit out on the deck in the Summer or around the fireplace in the Winter and talk a couple times a month. I have keys to several neighbors homes but it's just in case they lock themselves out or to take care of pets while owner is away. 99% of the time we have a great neighborhood.

 

[frayne]

Live in a small Chattanooga subdivision composed of either young working couples with kids or retirees. Pretty nice place where everyone takes pride in their homes and yards with the exception of only a few. Have about a 300 acre field behind my house so no worries there and neighbors on both sides are great. I have a couple of motorcycle riding buddies in the neighborhood as well as a couple of golf buddies who I play with on a regular basis. Is it perfect, no, but all and all a darn nice place to live.

 

[robnplunder]

We have one weird neighbor who keeps trying to recruit the rest of us to join his "prepping" activities. Our paths have intersected a couple times at my mailbox and he will babble incessantly about the imminent collapse of society.

LOL. He's not as crazy as my one weird neighbor but you know where to run to when a meteor strikes your neighborhood, Ebola shuts down your town, government topples, there is a violent riot, ....

 

[Hyper]

For first time in 47 yrs I do actually get along with 1 neighbor, but it's his second home and he only goes there 30 min every morn! The other neighbors can't understand why their pooch comes home full of buckshot after being on my property chasing my expensive stock. They can't understand why I get tired of picking up their trash that blows into my yard repeatably. Past homes they couldn't understand why I didn't like their fourwheeler tracks they would put closer to my home. Couldn't understand why it bothered me that I would be the only one buying gravel to put on the road and in the meantime I took care of grading the road so they could drive 100mph past my home.

I'm one of those old soul types that does not do well with inconsiderate ppl, so yep I would be the one in the neighborhood considered the arse. My wife is worried about how bad I will be when I actually am an old man!!!

 

[M Paquette]

LOL. He's not as crazy as my one weird neighbor but you know where to run to when a meteor strikes your neighborhood, Ebola shuts down your town, government topples, there is a violent riot, ....

Here in town we have folks who plan for being prepared in an emergency, with basic supplies on hand to get by without power or water pressure for several days. Then we have the folks planning for the collapse of government, or the collapse of civilization.

The folks planning on being prepared in an emergency are the ones likely to be helpful in a disaster. The folks planning for a collapse are likely to shoot at you if you approach them in a disaster, and will be the ones in the militia raiding parties if the disaster situation persists.

 

[Beldar]

Neighbors on one side of us are nudists and roam their yard / pool buck naked. Thank g*d the homes here have privacy walls. They mind their own business.

Neighbors on the other side have remodeled/repainted their home lime green, it looks like a dentist office. They covered their entire back yard with a carport structure (jeeze, we have sunshine 300 days a year). They also demanded I repair their patio since the roots from our Ponderosa pine crept under the wall ans damaged it (I'm liable here for that). They also burn firewood nearly year round. I'll probably dynamite that house some day.

Across the street we have an extremely elderly couple who never venture outside. Next to them is a restaurant/cafe owner who stores cars in this back yard (thankfully). He occasionally hosts porno film shoots.

There's an elementary school across the road that recently erected solar panels over most of their athletic field, spoiling the mountain views for everyone. It seems people use that field for celebratory gunfire during football games, New Years, etc. It IS nice to hear the children playing during recess if I'm home during the week.

 

[MBAustin]

We're in a suburban community built in the '70s around a country club. We chat with the immediate neighbors when we see them but generally don't go out of our way to initiate many interactions. We do e-mail the young couple next door when we're going to be away for more than a few days, or if something unusual is going on (we hosted the church choir dinner this fall which had 40 people in the back yard all evening).

 

[Cobra9777]

LOL. He's not as crazy as my one weird neighbor but you know where to run to when a meteor strikes your neighborhood, Ebola shuts down your town, government topples, there is a violent riot, ....

Funny, I told DW the same thing... when a coronal mass ejection knocks out the power grid, we're heading to his house with whatever supplies we can muster... and hope he doesn't shoot us.

 

[Walt34]

We're in a golf course community even though neither of us plays. Which is just as well since the golf course went bankrupt and is now owned by the bank that held the note on it. Whatever happens with the land it probably won't have too much effect on us other than slightly lowering property values since it isn't a golf course anymore and we are a good distance from it anyway. (I didn't want to have to deal with golf balls coming in the windows.)

Other than one next-door neighbor everyone is pretty much in "smile & nod" mode. For the one neighbor, he talks a lot and is a nice guy, in his 80's and I clear his driveway of snow since I have a snow thrower and it takes about 10-15 minutes to do. That gives him an excuse to take us out to lunch later on. His wife is frail and he's the one taking care of her so he doesn't get out much.

There are parties at the pool in the summer but being introverts we don't go, so we don't know the other neighbors well at all.

 

[45th Birthday]

Interesting stories.


When our children were young, we lived in a 500-house subdivision with an active association and at the time many young families like us. We had many great neighbors and friendships, although none really lasted after we moved 30+ minutes away.


The current house (now used for spring/fall) is at the end of a dead-end street (ends in a park) with seven houses on 1.5 acre lots. We have only the park in front and on one side, and a creek/wooded area in the back. Only one neighbor on one side. They are great, and have really worked to improve their house and grounds. They keep a bit of an eye on our place when we are gone although not necessary since we have a caretaker watching.


In the place where we spend the summer, the houses are on small lots close together. When we bought there 15 years ago, there weren't many houses around. Now, it has filled in. We have been and remain close to the elderly (now a widow) woman on one side along with her extended family and an artistic family in the back of us. We loathe the people who bought the new build across the street-they have two large dogs on a tiny lot and they keep them outside and let them bark incessantly. They are also very noisy themselves when outside. Can you say NOKD?


The place we are now spending winters is a condo association with fairly low density and a golden rule approach to neighborly relations. We haven't struck up close friendships yet, but the vibe is calm and quiet, with a good handful of group social activities in season and small gatherings for cocktails.

 

[Car-Guy]

If I drew a circle around my house with a ¼ mile radius, it would include two neighbors.

We moved here for the privacy, and we certainly have it!

Pretty much the same here. Extend that circle to ~3/4 a mile radius and that would include a total of about 8 homes/families. All are retired except one family and they only come up on the weekends or holidays. We know them all but typically but only stop to talk a couple of times a year. Everone moved to this area to get away from the big cities and they want and respect privacy and their space. It's unspoken but everyone watches out for each other.

 

[grasshopper]

On my section (mile x mile) there is us a couple with 2 young children, and a single woman allergic to everything in life. The young dad is a volunteer fire fighter in my station. They will watch the house and critters if needed. The single woman is the GF of my fire chief. Makes the old quantum physics, or new thought thinking that we are all connected, the truth.

 

[Redbugdave]

Where I live is semi rural but growing and getting more crowded every year. We have lived where we are about 20 years. My road used to be dirt up until about 3 years ago. That pretty much kept a lot of the traffic down except for the kids. Now there's a lot more traffic. All the neighbors around us are related and pretty much keep to themselves in their family clicks. They are not friendly people. But that's OK since we have our own circle of friends and the neighbors are not the kind of people I would want as friends anyways. They do their thing and we do ours. Since I had retired this year, we are looking for acreage out in the real country to eventually build the house we want and a big pole barn for me.

 

[LOL!]

We live on an interior cul-de-sac of about 20 homes where most people have been for 20 years in a community of about 100,000 near a city of about 4 million. Ages of the people in these 20 homes are between 1 month and 90 years old. It basically is a fairy tale living in a bubble. I usually see and talk to 5 neighbors simply by going out to walk the dog in the morning and another 10 or so in the afternoon. I also see my neighbors in the grocery store, local restaurants, and elsewhere pretty routinely. The neighborhood is very desirable because of location near top public schools, so when someone dies, a new family with school-age children usually moves in.

Everyone looks after everybody else and is reasonably friendly. Even their kids and visitors are friendly. I mean much more than a hello and nod. I know all about surgeries, parents, kids who have moved away, political persuasions, etc. There are 4 disabled people here as well. There are no slobs on the street. Please don't forget that fairy tales also have evil stepmothers, but even they can be very nice most of the time if you are nice to them.

I was told by my in-laws years ago that one had to live in a neighborhood where the home prices were above $130K or no one would take care of their homes. Although prices have gone up since then, what was true then is still true today (with adjusted pricing).

 

[EastWest Gal]

We live in a development with a homeowners association. Annual dues are $10-25/yr for the association directory and lawnmowing of a small common area. I served on the association board a couple of years. We have block captains too.

Neighbors across the street introduced themselves the first week I arrived and lent me a small refrigerator until the bulk of the furniture arrived. We watch each other's houses and collect each other's mail and go out to dinner once in awhile. Next to us is a great family with 3 wonderful kids. We chat in the yard all the time with our neighbors. Our houses are good sized but not McMansions with 1/3-3/4 acre lots. We are luckier than most.


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