Neighbors

[Sunset]

I used to live in that ideal neighbor hood, the kids were little and would play at our house or their house, running back and forth.
Once we went on vacation for 2 weeks and left the front door wide open !!! Neighbors watched the house, looked for dead bodies inside and closed the door. I felt so embarrassed as I had purposefully not cleaned up, even saying "why clean up so it can be tidy for someone to break in"

Now while I go over and chat to various neighbors, only the sex offender one will come over to talk to me, which is a little odd and uncomfortable. So really we just wave, to each other most of the time.

You pick your friends, not your family or neighbors.

[Goonie]

We live in a fairly rural community. Our old homestead used to be across the road from a cornfield, though now there is rather small subdivision there. For the most part, we have great neighbors! We all watch out for one another, and visit back and forth all of the time. We watch each other's house during vacations. I have keys to my one neighbor's house, and another neighbor has the keys to mine.

There are occasional celebrations and get togethers at the neighbors' homes. And some of us get together for breakfast once in a while too. I share garden produce with the neighbors, and they share wild game, home-cooked foods & desserts, and interesting things they've come across while grocery shopping. And if anyone needs a hand with something, all of us neighbors are ready to assist in any way possible. We help each other with snow shoveling, grass cutting, home & auto repairs, and things like that. And if we don't see one another out and about, phones will start ringing to find out if everything is OK, and offer assistance if needed.

We're more like a big, weird family, than just neighbors!

[braumeister]

If I drew a circle around my house with a ¼ mile radius, it would include two neighbors.

One is a high powered executive. He walked over when we moved in, ten years ago, and introduced himself, but we haven't seen him since. The poor guy is too busy w*rking to have a life.

The other is a retired Navy guy who boards horses. We've chatted three or four times in the ten years. Nice guy.

We moved here for the privacy, and we certainly have it!

[travelover]

I live in a 1960's neighborhood where all the lots are at least one acre. I have 1.5 acres and my lot adjoins 5 other neighbor's lots. I get along great with all but one neighbor, who has a Rottweiler that barks at me and charges the lot line (no fence) when ever it sees me in my yard.

The neighbors might get together once a every couple of years to share gossip, but beyond that we just wave to the neighbors that we know.

[ChicagoGal]

I’m in a “smile and nod” neighborhood. There has been occasional contact (a few Bears games, one neighbor set up an outdoor showing of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off in their back year, etc.) but other than a mostly annual block party, that’s about it. It’s a back porch neighborhood, so other than waving across the back lawns when folks are out grilling, the most incidental contact we have is when we’re all out snow blowing in the winter. And let’s face it, at that time, no one wants to do more than make an inane comment about the cold and/or snow and move on.

My sister, on the other hand, just a few suburbs away, seems to have the close knit, everybody knows everybody type of neighborhood. I think that has a lot to do with my sister herself (she puts the E in Extrovert), the fact that the majority of the families have kids that all went to school together, and almost all of the houses have front porches, which facilitate at least casual chatting on a regular basis.

[Tree-dweller]

From this very unscientific sampling, it looks like there is no norm. No surprise. A few folks are lucky enough to live on Primrose Lane, some live on Thorny Road (I feel for ya, Galaxy Boy), most live on Middle Street. But in thr spirit of Primrose Lane, here's hoping we all get to enjoy the holiday tomorrow in a satisfying way!

[Sarah in SC]

Kinda funny that this thread is going on, as last night around 11pm, the shrill neighbor decided to enumerate her husband's shortcomings to him at top volume. They were inside the house, but sound carries very far in such a quiet place.
We were trying to figure out if there was murder going on, or just mayhem. So far no bodies, so probably okay.

[imoldernu]

Our Florida community (350 homes) is rooted in friendship, and we interact with almost all of them, either through the activities, coffees and parties or small groups of "special" friends. Amazingly, few if any cliques. After living there (snowbirds) for 24 years, even know the names of the dogs.
Our campground home for the other 6 months of our first 14 years was an extremely close knit neighborhood with 8 families who did the 6/6. We did everything together from building rooms, to shopping to dining and card games 5 days a week.
Now, in a regular home in a CCRC, (65 regular homes) we are less active socially (by choice)... but do know and like our neighbors. We have HOA seasonal parties, and go to the central core of the rest of the development. Apartments, Assisted Living, Rehab, Nursing Home, and Alzheimer's unit... Meeting rooms, library and social rooms for cards and family visits. DW plays cards there, several days a week, and we go for lectures, parties sing alongs etc...
We are very happy with the arrangement. We are among the younger people in the community. The decision to move here when we did (10 years ago) meant that we were able to integrate with the entire community. I now have friends in their late eighties and early 90's who are wonderfully smart, social and active. This may sound strange to people in their 40's, 50's, and 60's, but a comfortable, safe, environment with many good friends makes for a low stress, happy life. So far, we still have all three homes and move between them, but transitioning to full time in the CCRC will be easy.

[LoneAspen]

Of the two homes I owned in Colorado (at different times), both were in mountainous rural subdivisions, but the lots were about 2 acres. Which isn't a ton of space, but enough to give good separation between houses.

Of the eight years or so I spent in those homes, I met neighbors maybe once, and that was fine by me.

I currently rent a home in a typical subdivision in Silicon Valley. It's not even a "smile and wave" kind of place. People come and go and usually don't even acknowledge each other, which is fine by me, too.

I think my aversion to neighbors started when I was kid living in a subdivision in the south. None of the immediate neighbors had kids, it was mostly older people living nearby. We didn't have a garage, either, just a carport. When my Mom would drive back to the house after getting groceries or whatever, and I was along, we'd get out of the car and more times than not, one of the neighbors on either side would be out doing something in their yard, and walk up to the fence and start chatting.

My Mom would make up an excuse and tell me "Gotta get the groceries inside. You go talk to the neighbors!" And then I'd be forced to stand there and chitchat with the neighbors. I hated it then, and hate it now.

That's one reason I like a garage so much. You can come and go without people stopping you and wanting to talk.

[tryan]

We had a nice neighborhood for a little while... cookouts and holiday parties . Then the guy in the middle (who hosted the great Christmas party) decided to clear cut 60 mature trees THEN have the lot surveyed. He didn't own a SINGLE tree. One lost ~20 trees and sued; we lost 40 and decided a fence would be better than suing. Three years - and an ulcer - later the suit settled for a mid-five-figure sum.

Now nobody talks ... no more parties. And the guy in the middle has his house in foreclosuer.

[ExFlyBoy5]

Ours is pretty close to Primrose. The neighborhood was built in the late 70s and to this day about 1/2 are the original owners. Our dead end street has 9 houses on it, and most of us will chat each other up. The house across the street from us as well as both neighbors (left and right) are rentals, but 2 of the 3 are great and the one isn't too bad, all things considered. There are several people on our street that are retired, so the neighborhood watch is in full effect. The retired folks (and a few that work at home) do a good job of watching over the street when neighbors are gone. We also do block parties a few times a year which is great.

All in all, it's a good neighborhood to be in!

Sent from my mobile device so please excuse grammatical errors.

[Rosie]

This is a very interesting discussion for me, it helps me figure out what I want & don't want in our next neighborhood.

Quote:

Originally Posted by LoneAspen I currently rent a home in a typical subdivision in Silicon Valley. It's not even a "smile and wave" kind of place. People come and go and usually don't even acknowledge each other, which is fine by me, too.

Same here, except we own our place. We barely know our neighbors, and I'm not sure I'm fine with that anymore.

For partly that reason, DH & I are toying with the idea of moving to an over-55 community. DH is kind of a hermit, but I'd like to be in a more social setting (we do our own thing so he'd be fine with remaining hermit-like). We don't have kids and we aren't fond of teenage kid noise, and we think we'd be OK with HOA regs, so that's a starting point at least. We might start looking for real sometime next year.

I've been searching this forum for discussions about people's experiences in over-55 communities and I've found a few, but they're several years old.

I don't want to hijack this thread, so if anyone can direct me to a more current (or otherwise useful) thread about the pros & cons of over-55 communities (with or w/o golf courses, gated or ungated -- those are options we're still weighing), I'd appreciate it. Or I'll start a new thread at some point.

[Sue J]

We are in a typical 1950's suburban block. Our most annoying neighbors, the elderly cranky folks who resented that we had children, have died off. A woman in her early 30's bought the house and has an ever changing list of boyfriends and other people who live there on and off. Her dog is lovely and we like to see her in the yard.

The elderly couple who lived on the other side moved away a few years ago and a single mom bought the house and over the summer built a large 2 car garage, taking up the entire backyard. My first thought was, "there goes our view", but DH said, "now we will have more privacy!" The garage was very well built and must have been a big investment, so I think it's a good thing.

Our neighbor across the street is our age with a lot of adult kids and many grandchildren. She is a lovely woman and it's fun to see all the family activity over there. Her 37 year old son and his own 7 year old son live with her. We'd see her son doing yard work and waiting for his kid to come home, but not venturing off the lot .... or driving......Hmmmm. That's due to his ankle device that keeps him on home confinement due to a hit and run, uninsured driver, yada yada. Turns out he has a looooooong record of interaction with the courts. He's currently paying restitution to his hit and run victim and is out on bond on a menacing/stalking charge involving an ex GF. We do the polite wave and smile when he's out. I check the court records now and then just to see what's new and we have a handy dandy police scanner radio for when police cars show up at their house, again.

Our neighborhood has never been the party gathering type, we are friendly enough and shovel each others walks if needed and help out when a car is stuck or a neighbors pet is running loose. We may chat outside on a warm night but it's only to catch up since I saw you last year.

[Cobra9777]

Our neighborhood was built in the late 60s, with large houses on 2-3 acre, heavily-wooded lots. The trees and physical separation of the houses do not promote a lot of neighborly interaction. Usually just a wave or nod if two of us happen to be checking the mail, walking the dog, or taking the trash out at the same time. Many of the people are retired and some are the original owners. It's quiet and private, and everyone likes it that way, including us.

About a year ago, someone set up our neighborhood on nextdoor.com and about one-third of people have joined. There was one neighborhood BBQ that resulted from that, but we did not go. They also occasionally share some useful information about break-ins or other suspicious activity. But otherwise, not much communication there either.

We have one weird neighbor who keeps trying to recruit the rest of us to join his "prepping" activities. Our paths have intersected a couple times at my mailbox and he will babble incessantly about the imminent collapse of society.

[Dog]

We currently live in a 1950's home that use to be in a small town on the water. Everyone knew everyone in the neighborhood and the town. Unfortunately the area became a highly desirable place to live and the past 20 years it has become over developed with McMansions and expensive cars flying down the once quiet roads. We nod to our neighbors, but that's it now.
We built our retirement home on a nearby rural island and spend most weekends there. Most are retired folks and/or original islanders. We know our neighbors and look forward to being there full time. They look for each other And do have parties, crab feeds, & BBQs.


Sent from my iPhone using Early Retirement Forum

[splitwdw]

We live in a small town, little over 900 people. I know quite a few of the towns people from volunteering at different events. My neighbors are great except for one inconsiderate family, dogs chained out and bark for hours, block driveways, loud music, loud talking. The rest of us help each other. I had a tree come down and husband was out of town. Neighbors all helped clear the tree and elderly neighbor kept the coffee coming. I mow the elderly neighbors lawn and shovel his snow. We don't go out with neighbors but do sit out on the deck in the Summer or around the fireplace in the Winter and talk a couple times a month. I have keys to several neighbors homes but it's just in case they lock themselves out or to take care of pets while owner is away. 99% of the time we have a great neighborhood.

[frayne]

Live in a small Chattanooga subdivision composed of either young working couples with kids or retirees. Pretty nice place where everyone takes pride in their homes and yards with the exception of only a few. Have about a 300 acre field behind my house so no worries there and neighbors on both sides are great. I have a couple of motorcycle riding buddies in the neighborhood as well as a couple of golf buddies who I play with on a regular basis. Is it perfect, no, but all and all a darn nice place to live.

[robnplunder]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cobra9777 We have one weird neighbor who keeps trying to recruit the rest of us to join his "prepping" activities. Our paths have intersected a couple times at my mailbox and he will babble incessantly about the imminent collapse of society.

LOL. He's not as crazy as my one weird neighbor but you know where to run to when a meteor strikes your neighborhood, Ebola shuts down your town, government topples, there is a violent riot, ....

[Hyper]

For first time in 47 yrs I do actually get along with 1 neighbor, but it's his second home and he only goes there 30 min every morn! The other neighbors can't understand why their pooch comes home full of buckshot after being on my property chasing my expensive stock. They can't understand why I get tired of picking up their trash that blows into my yard repeatably. Past homes they couldn't understand why I didn't like their fourwheeler tracks they would put closer to my home. Couldn't understand why it bothered me that I would be the only one buying gravel to put on the road and in the meantime I took care of grading the road so they could drive 100mph past my home.

I'm one of those old soul types that does not do well with inconsiderate ppl, so yep I would be the one in the neighborhood considered the arse. My wife is worried about how bad I will be when I actually am an old man!!!

[M Paquette]

Quote:

Originally Posted by robnplunder LOL. He's not as crazy as my one weird neighbor but you know where to run to when a meteor strikes your neighborhood, Ebola shuts down your town, government topples, there is a violent riot, ....

Here in town we have folks who plan for being prepared in an emergency, with basic supplies on hand to get by without power or water pressure for several days. Then we have the folks planning for the collapse of government, or the collapse of civilization.

The folks planning on being prepared in an emergency are the ones likely to be helpful in a disaster. The folks planning for a collapse are likely to shoot at you if you approach them in a disaster, and will be the ones in the militia raiding parties if the disaster situation persists.