Non retired spouse

[LeatherneckPA]

Wizard - you are reminding me of the joke e-mail about the guy who was being "so considerate" by "allowing" his wife more time to get the chores done. Died with a 50" golf club up his butt. All female jury acquitted wife, believed her story that he accidentally "sat" on the club.

OK, y'all are officially scaring the bejeebers out of me now!! Cindy is a fanatical housecleaner. My family started calling her Felix (as in Unger, The Odd Couple) over 20 years ago. I have often told her that I don't clean for her because no matter what I do it's not good enough for her. And no, I am NOT Oscar Madison.

And she's a fantastic list maker. Hooo boy, can that lady make lists!!! My "honey-do" lists for my two days off are usually 10-12 items long and I can generally only do about half of them. Her's are even longer, to the point of being ridiculous. Except she takes them seriously and then when she doesn't finish it on the weekend she gets depressed for like two days after and doesn't do anything.

So I'm thinking that if I'm home in ER and she's still working at the bank my "honey-do" lists are liable to grow exponentially. Hmmmmm, maybe I should buy stock in Post-It notes?

[LeatherneckPA]

Originally Posted by Oldbabe

Hmmm. A man who was great company and wonderful in bed would be my first choice. My second choice would be a man who was wonderful in bed and good company.

Oldbabe I'd like to volunteer for the job. don't know what you consider wonderful in bed, but I'm open to suggestions and very quick learner.

[Wags]

When I first retired there was an adjustment period. My wife and I were getting in each other's way because she was not used to having me at home. But we have worked on it and it is getting better and better each day.

I have learned to let some of the NAGGING go. There is good NAGGING and bad NAGGING. I look at GOOD NAGGING as a positive. As for BAD NAGGING I use selective hearing and thus it cuts down greatly on the disagreements.

But overall I look at our time together whether it is GOOD or BAD as a BLESSING. I am of the thought that there might not be too many women that would put up with a slightly fat grumpy old man (age 49 but on some days I feel as though I am 66).

GOD BLESS AMERICA

[toofrugalformycat]

My DH and I were the exact same situation as you and your DW for a few years. We are now both ERed.
I agree with everyone's suggestions that you need to have a talk with your DW and discuss who will do what, and when.
Make an appointment with your spouse ahead of time, for a time when you are both relaxed (like after a nice dinner out or a pleasant walk).
Also, your wife may need to write out instructions for how to do particular chores. She may be surprised that it's not obvious to you how things are done. If you disagree with the instructions, that's cause for another appointment for a scheduled discussion (and another nice dinner out).
In my experience there will be lots of adjusting going on, but this can be a good thing if you anticipate that there will be misunderstandings and keep making those appointments to talk with each other. You have leisure time, she doesn't, so you need to bend more, IMHO.
She's still adding to the next egg and that will benefit both of you in future.

[LeatherneckPA]

Originally Posted by Wags

I am of the thought that there might not be too many women that would put up with a slightly fat grumpy old man

AMEN Wags!!! If more folks realized how good they actually have, and that they themselves are not necessarily a bargain, there'd probably be a lot fewer divorces. (Married to a saintly woman for 26 years now, and hoping to make it another 35.)

[citrine]

I agree with you Oldbabe....I'd rather have a man that was great company and wonderful in bed! Laundry and chores are really an after thought....they can be done as a team or outsourced as need be.
I still think that she is grumpy that you get to retire and she has to work.....she should just retire.....and then you both can hire a maid and frolick about!
That is what I would do

[theoldwizard]

Well a week or so has gone by. I have been doing most of the cooking (DW cooked once or twice). Not always up to her standards, but she is eating it (and, no, I'm not trying to screw up !) She has helped with meal planning which is where I am most challenged.

I have also done the dishes most of the time. DW did them once because "I made the mess" and another time because I think she thought the sink and countertop "needed a womens touch". Sigh.