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Old 12-28-2016, 09:51 AM   #21
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Right. I think we would all be better off if we cared less about what others think. The corollary being not to have an opinion about what others do. That's a little more difficult.
Very true, but it can be extremely challenging when everyone an ER person talks to has an opinion, judgment, etc., expressed or otherwise, about what they--and by extension you--should be doing. I have decided to not talk about my ER anymore as everyone I talk to seems to be looking in the mirror and reflecting their projections.

I saw the article elsewhere but didn't read it as I immediately saw it for what it was: non-actionable click bait.
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Old 12-28-2016, 11:02 AM   #22
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good article - I plan on going down as a loud and proud early retiree myself

we had a guy at our club that retired from ups in his 50s and played golf everyday; I think UPS has/had a good esop or something

one of the cheapest guys I've ever met. nice guy tho

he quit after we voted on a $5k assessment and he always made his F&B minimum to a dime
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Old 12-28-2016, 11:30 AM   #23
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Very true, but it can be extremely challenging when everyone an ER person talks to has an opinion, judgment, etc., expressed or otherwise, about what they--and by extension you--should be doing. I have decided to not talk about my ER anymore as everyone I talk to seems to be looking in the mirror and reflecting their projections.

I saw the article elsewhere but didn't read it as I immediately saw it for what it was: non-actionable click bait.
Yes, I agree. Although most of my acquaintances/friends are pretty polite and dont express their personal views about this kind of stuff.
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Old 12-28-2016, 11:48 AM   #24
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Old 12-28-2016, 12:32 PM   #25
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I think when faced with an early retiree it at first scares people and then they become a bit envious so it doesn't make for good conversation.

The first thing they think is "OMG, what am I going to do? all that planning and maths that I've been avoiding....it's too early to think about that stuff".

Then the think "how can he/she afford to retire, they can't make that much?....".

Luckily I've known most of my friends since college and what we do hasn't ever been important.
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Old 12-28-2016, 03:03 PM   #26
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Hi,

I find this article very strange as I & DW have experienced nothing of such .

My friends, acquaintances & neighbors have been curious as to how we managed that. Our story & reply usually is that our kids are on their own, there are no more major commitments & we lived below our means during our working life(Only if we choose to explain)

I retired(On disability) last year at few months short of age 59, & when DW was 55.

The answer to the usual question as to what do we do the whole day, I ask what they do on their Saturdays, & then reply, we do the same every day.

Usual response is Lucky Bast*&d, maybe a little tinge of envy or praise as to how well we managed our lives. Usually they say something like they can not think of retiring for another 10 yrs or some such.

In general I have not faced any unappreciative thoughts/words /questions. I do not know if they may come in future, but I do not/will not usually care & maybe respond in something unmentionable .

So I just say, I do not know, but it may be in the people's heads(That they do not deserve the good times & choose to feel such & act that way)

Heck, friends we did what we did(ER) to enjoy our lives while things are still going great . We would care less if some unlucky working ones feel that way.

Remember we paid our dues first for enjoying our retired lives.
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Old 12-28-2016, 03:08 PM   #27
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"What do you do?"

"I'm retired."

"You look to young to retire."

"That's the whole point."
This is my standard response. As well as saying that now I just do the fun stuff.
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Old 12-29-2016, 05:55 AM   #28
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"What do you do?"

"I'm retired."

"You look to young to retire."

"That's the whole point."

Crickets


We retired before 50 and currently traveling. We have said and heard these ( the last time was actually 5 hours ago!) and also experienced the following:

- everyone asks my husband what he did for a living, but only about 10 percent of the people we meet ask me

- "we don't have kids" .....a great 'excuse' we use when we meet new people our age. If that isn't enough, we then say we manage rental properties....they seem to relate more with that

-worst thing is, we feel that we often have to downplay our retirement, especially when talking to someone who clearly has worked hard and will most likely need to work the rest of their lives. "We had a history of early deaths in our family so decided to travel now while we still can. We can always get a job later if we had to".
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Old 12-29-2016, 07:31 AM   #29
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This seems to make my life easier. It sure does shorten my reading list!
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Old 12-29-2016, 11:12 AM   #30
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Yes, I agree. Although most of my acquaintances/friends are pretty polite and dont express their personal views about this kind of stuff.
Well they're not being impolite, it's just that everyone has all these projections from MSM about what retirement "should be". A lot of what retirees are "supposed" to be thinking and doing (and consequently what I thought I should be thinking and doing) I've found I have no interest in. For all the hoopla articles such as these whip up, I've found it's simply a matter of letting many things fall naturally into place.

I'm not striving to be "happy" in retirement because I find the concept nebulous at best. Striving for contentment has much more utility, and by that measure, I've far exceeded my expectations of what a successful retirement would look like.
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Old 12-29-2016, 02:12 PM   #31
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Well they're not being impolite, it's just that everyone has all these projections from MSM about what retirement "should be". A lot of what retirees are "supposed" to be thinking and doing (and consequently what I thought I should be thinking and doing) I've found I have no interest in.
This is an interesting point. In the past, the fact that retirement was mainly leisure was a given. Now the emerging theme is that you have to strive to find your "true" purpose and make a positive impact on society until your dying day. I think some of this might be a reflection of the increasing influence of idealistic millennial thinking. It holds appeal, for sure, but it's unrealistic and might become yet another social expectation to overcome (or ignore).
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Old 12-29-2016, 02:41 PM   #32
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Here are a few of my favorites:

"I manage investments for some really nice people."
"What do I do all day? Well, what I used to do on weekends; only now 7 days a week."
"Retired? Not at all. I am in a phase of restructuring I like to call Bryan Release 2.0"

More often when I say that I am retired and they want to know more, I follow up by saying that we started an intense saving program in 1992 and were lucky in our investments. That presents a mix of "hard work" and "dumb luck." Both of these combined seem to work well--we deserve it; but not all of it. :-)
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Old 12-29-2016, 02:55 PM   #33
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The easiest thing is to turn the conversation back to them. "What do you do all day?" "Whatever I want. What's up in your life?"
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Old 12-29-2016, 08:32 PM   #34
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Everyone's different. Some people really do love vacations, trips and the whole bucket list thing. Others rush out to volunteer because of the whole "giving back" thing. Still others go back to work, in their prior field or a new one. What's important is to do what you feel is right for you and not what is implied by some NY Times article whose thinly veiled purpose is solely to justify accompanying advertising. It's also important to remember retirees are a juicy advertising target, ripe for manipulation of the worst kind.

Never having made a New Year's resolution in my life, I have decided to tell everyone my 2017 New Year's resolution is to add retirement and plans in retirement to the three things I already tell people I never discuss: religion, politics*, and (as of 2016) diet/exercise.

*Flatly telling people I refuse to talk about politics was a godsend during the whole recent bernie/trump/hillary/elections whirlpool.
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Old 12-29-2016, 08:49 PM   #35
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This is an interesting point. In the past, the fact that retirement was mainly leisure was a given. Now the emerging theme is that you have to strive to find your "true" purpose and make a positive impact on society until your dying day.
I used to be more like that until we started seeing the mortality tables play out in real life with the people around us. We have friends and neighbors that didn't get to see one day of retirement and some made it but passed away not too long afterwards. So we're just enjoying how many healthy years we have left and will try to do some volunteer work along the way, and hopefully have a bit left over to leave to charity.
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Old 12-30-2016, 04:34 AM   #36
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I usually take nyt articles with a grain of salt. Yes, nyt.
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Old 12-30-2016, 04:44 AM   #37
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It seems like many retirees don't care what other people think about, for example, their wardrobe and how they dress post-retirement, so why care what people think about the decision to retire at all, let alone "early" as society defines it?

I still remind people who think it's "selfish" to retire early that it's actually an act of social conscience -- that it is socially and economically beneficial to "create" a job through retirement for someone who needs it more than I do. Maybe your retirement gets someone else off of unemployment. Or off of ACA subsidies. Or maybe they just pay a lot more in taxes.
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Old 12-30-2016, 04:51 AM   #38
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It seems like many retirees don't care what other people think about, for example, their wardrobe and how they dress post-retirement, so why care what people think about the decision to retire at all, let alone "early" as society defines it?
One of the requirements of LBYM is not caring what others think.
For many/most, LBYM is a requirement for ER.

I suspect folks on this forum over-represent the NCWOT (not care what others think) crowd.
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Old 12-30-2016, 11:39 AM   #39
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In my experience I think the only people that seemed upset at the idea that we retired were the ones that would like to but could not afford to do so themselves. People in our senior groups sometimes remark at how young we are but in a joking way. We've been called the "babies". Nobody cares since they are all retired. They seem happy to have some younger members.

The only negative reactions have been from people our own age who are not retired and even then only a handful of petty or big hat, no cattle types (as described in The Millionaire Next Door).
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Old 12-30-2016, 11:46 AM   #40
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Very true, but it can be extremely challenging when everyone an ER person talks to has an opinion, judgment, etc., expressed or otherwise, about what they--and by extension you--should be doing. I have decided to not talk about my ER anymore as everyone I talk to seems to be looking in the mirror and reflecting their projections.

I saw the article elsewhere but didn't read it as I immediately saw it for what it was: non-actionable click bait.
Very early in my retirement process I knew that I would need to have a narrative ready to go regarding this. DW was still working so I definitely owed it to her to "own" the fact that I ER'd and not disguise it.

I looked at all the facts and circumstances that I saw and developed my narrative. Now I bring it out when I need too. It was time well spent in my case.

-gauss
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