Older women having too much fun to retire

[chief04010]

I work because someone pays me to do so, when some starts paying me for not working (AKA Retirement,) you will not believe how quickly I stop.

 

[Just_Steve]

As for "you go, girl"- I hate that phrase. I am not a girl.

Funny you say that, early in my first supervisor role I had a women upper manager 4 slots up in my chain of command ask me a question about a report that I had no part in compiling, I responded with "I'm not familiar with that report and I believe the girls in the office do that report" well needless to say I received a 30 min impromptu lesson on why my use of "girls" was inappropriate.
Never made that mistake again.

 

[Amethyst]

It took 30 minutes? Gee, I think the point that a supervisor calling female professionals "girls" is demeaning could be made in about 30 seconds!

It was very common to be called a "girl" when I started working. Even 60-year-old women were called "girls" and they were expected to titter and be flattered. Also, I was referred to as merely "Amethyst" - including in interoffice memos! - when all the men, no matter how young, were Mr. So-and-So. Now, these things may seem small, but when you are fighting for equal work and equal pay, what people call you can matter.

As soon as I got the confidence, I put a stop to that nonsense, at least as regarded myself. If some other woman got a kick out of being called a girl, that was her lookout.

Funny you say that, early in my first supervisor role I had a women upper manager 4 slots up in my chain of command ask me a question about a report that I had no part in compiling, I responded with "I'm not familiar with that report and I believe the girls in the office do that report" well needless to say I received a 30 min impromptu lesson on why my use of "girls" was inappropriate.
Never made that mistake again.

 

[Just_Steve]

It took 30 minutes? Gee, I think the point that a supervisor calling female professionals "girls" is demeaning could be made in about 30 seconds!

It was an EPIC beating.

 

[Amethyst]

perhaps the beatee was a little resistant LOL -

It was an EPIC beating.

 

[Just_Steve]

perhaps the beatee was a little resistant LOL -

Perhaps indeed.

 

[gcgang]

Use of the word girl when referring to grown women shows insensitivity to the plight of women, who have long been discriminated against by institutional/ built in male privilege. How could someone be so politically incorrect to use such a term?

 

[ls99]

Another point of view.

DW often goes to lunch with the "girls" or shopping or just coffee clutch. All of them are well past sixty a few in their eighties, and they all talk about the next girls day out.

 

[athena53]

Another point of view.

DW often goes to lunch with the "girls" or shopping or just coffee clutch. All of them are well past sixty a few in their eighties, and they all talk about the next girls day out.

I'm 64 and I still hate it. TWO of my female friends (same age group) responded to my FaceBook picture while ice skating last weekend with "You go, girl!" Ugh. I don't do "girlfriend getaways" or "girls' nights out", either.

 

[Amethyst]

That is hardly the only case of an in-group using their own term for one another - a term one would be well-advised not to use in the workplace, where we are all in competition.

Another point of view.

DW often goes to lunch with the "girls" or shopping or just coffee clutch. All of them are well past sixty a few in their eighties, and they all talk about the next girls day out.

 

[Amethyst]

It really only matters in the workplace, where it tends to imply that the women are silly little things who can only handle low-level jobs. There is no real equivalent for men, since they don't mind being called "the boys."

Use of the word girl when referring to grown women shows insensitivity to the plight of women, who have long been discriminated against by institutional/ built in male privilege. How could someone be so politically incorrect to use such a term?

 

[ER Eddie]

I don't think men always intend it to be derogatory, although I understand that's how it can sound. Intent matters. For some, the word conveys affection (e.g., I prefer to say "girlfriend," rather than "partner," which sounds antiseptic to me).

I would never call the women I work with girls, though. Or if I did, I'd have to duck fast.

 

[Huston55]

I don't think men always intend it to be derogatory, although I understand that's how it can sound. Intent matters. For some, the word conveys affection (e.g., I prefer to say "girlfriend," rather than "partner," which sounds antiseptic to me).

I would never call the women I work with girls, though. Or if I did, I'd have to duck fast.

+1

Thank you.

 

[Pilot2013]

Part of the reason I'm trying so hard to FIRE. Everyone's so damn touchy.

 

[Amethyst]

I know! Ask some people not to call others by a belittling term at work, and you'd think by their reaction that you were vastly imposing on them.

Part of the reason I'm trying so hard to FIRE. Everyone's so damn touchy.

 

[Pilot2013]

I know! Ask some people not to call others by a belittling term at work, and you'd think by their reaction that you were vastly imposing on them.

In most cases, I have found people that feel belittled are largely insecure. Not always, but largely. Now, I don't want to offend any of the "confident challenged", lord knows.

 

[Bestwifeever]

In most cases, I have found people that feel belittled are largely insecure. Not always, but largely. Now, I don't want to offend any of the "confident challenged", lord knows.

Sure, it's their own fault

 

[Huston55]

In most cases, I have found people that feel belittled are largely insecure. Not always, but largely. Now, I don't want to offend any of the "confident challenged", lord knows.

Well, as they say...

 

[jollystomper]

Use of the word girl when referring to grown women shows insensitivity to the plight of women, who have long been discriminated against by institutional/ built in male privilege. How could someone be so politically incorrect to use such a term?

A lot of folks just don't "think". Or feel that because they are not using it in what they feel is a derogatory way, it should not be considered offensive.

I had to pull and instructor in a recent technical workshop I ran and warn them a couple of times to stop using "girls" when referring to the women in the class (the class was made up of Megacorp employees under 25). His excuse was "I can't help it, my daughters are the same age and I always refer to them as my girls, I mean it as a compliment".

I told him don't be surprised if he doesn't get asked to teach in this type of workshop again...and to consider how he would feel if someone called one of his daughters that where she worked, and how would she feel about it...

 

[Pilot2013]

Another thing I have found, is debating with an ideologue is very similar to attempting rational conversation with the irrational.

Everyone can be upset about something, or make it about themselves or their cause. I prefer to ignore, which is what I will do now with this thread. Adios!

 

[ER Eddie]

Another thing I have found, is debating with an ideologue is very similar to attempting rational conversation with the irrational.

Well, you know women. They tend to be irrational.

(I kid. Don't ban me.)

I do get annoyed with the hypersensitivity around speech we seem to have gotten mired in lately -- as if you can't say anything, even jokingly, that might potentially offend some member of some cultural subgroup somewhere -- but I don't think "girls" is a good example of that. Women have taken a lot of s*** from men through the centuries, and then recently in integrating into the workplace and climbing the ladder. It seems very reasonable, and not an example of political correctness, to insist on being called women, not girls. I would find it belittling if my colleagues referred to me as a boy.


I suppose we could retitle the article, Old women just want to have fun.

 

[Amethyst]

In most cases, I would agree with you. The workplace, however, is a special context because it is highly competitive.

Years ago, an old guy in his 40's, call him Joe, helped train me (age 31) on a particular job. Joe was one of a group of men at that time who felt this job was one that men should do. And certainly not such a "young" woman.

When a senior manager publicly complimented me on how fast I picked up the job, I thought it would be a touching evidence of gratitude to compliment my "great assistant, Joe." Joe, later, in my presence only, had a meltdown. Turned red in the face, like he was about to have a heart attack; breathed hard through his nose; and gave me a furious dressing-down on how I had publicly shamed him by jokingly referring to him as my "assistant." Demanded a public apology.

Joe, we can confidently surmise, was a highly insecure guy. Although I probably should have said "mentor" instead of trying to be funny. Teasing a grouch at work isn't as good an idea as doing it on the internet.

In most cases, I have found people that feel belittled are largely insecure.

 

[Pilot2013]

Joe, we can confidently surmise, was a highly insecure guy. Although I probably should have said "mentor" instead of trying to be funny. Teasing a grouch at work isn't as good an idea as doing it on the internet.

Definitely sounds like he was "confidence challenged". That ailment is an EQUAL OPPORTUNITY one!

 

[W2R]

It never mattered much to me what I was CALLED at work.. to me it mattered more what I was PAID. Some of you can relate to what I am saying if you ever got a new and prestigious sounding job title, but without a penny more in pay.

Oh well, those times are behind me now as I happily enter my 8th year of blissful retirement.

(BTW, "Older women having too much fun to retire" was the title, but if it was up to me, I'd change that to "Older women having too much fun to work".)

 

[Amethyst]

Well, not quite, in that particular case. Joe, and some of the other men in the case, specifically mentioned "too young" and "woman" in disapproving comments (which reached me) about my selection. So it was also ageism and sexism. Way back then, they could make those comments and get away with it. The boundaries on sexual-harassment suits were tighter, and the notion of "creating a hostile workplace environment" hadn't yet been framed.

Definitely sounds like he was "confidence challenged". That ailment is an EQUAL OPPORTUNITY one!