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View Poll Results: How far from your kids and grandkids is it best to be?
Same town 18 37.50%
Same area (e.g. 2-4 hrs) 17 35.42%
Day's drive (4-8 hrs) 7 14.58%
Gotta fly to get there same day 2 4.17%
Other planet 4 8.33%
Voters: 48. You may not vote on this poll

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Re: Optimal proximity to grandkids
Old 01-18-2007, 07:17 PM   #21
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Re: Optimal proximity to grandkids

Well, we're way to young to have grandkids, but from the kids' perspective, I'll second the idea to talk with them about this. In our own experience, DH's parents are not likely to ever move, but they'd sure like it if we would move to be near them. DH is in the military, so it hasn't been an issue, but it's an ongoing question for us how close is too close.

I think a lot of it does depend on the amount of visiting time that's expected on both sides. DH's brother, with wife and grandkid, now live about 4 hours' drive away from his parents and there is ongoing resentment that they don't visit more often and stay longer. It might be helpful to know how often your kids might want/expect to get together and decide partly on that basis how close you need/want to be.
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Re: Optimal proximity to grandkids
Old 01-18-2007, 09:54 PM   #22
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Re: Optimal proximity to grandkids

My mom and dad moved over the summer to be closer to their first granddaughter and are now 7 minutes away by car (yup...I timed it!)

It's great though because mom is going to be my FREE babysitter when I go back to work in April and they don't show up announced at our house.
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Re: Optimal proximity to grandkids
Old 01-18-2007, 11:56 PM   #23
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Re: Optimal proximity to grandkids

I said same area, but wife would say "next door" baby-sitting would be fine with her. We are 7 to 8 hours away and that seems too far. Younger son is off to college in the fall and I expect we will travel more to see the kids and the grandchildren then.
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Re: Optimal proximity to grandkids
Old 01-19-2007, 12:39 PM   #24
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Re: Optimal proximity to grandkids

Not a grand parent yet and maybe never will be, but I would think my rule of thumb would be....

Live close enough to see them when I want, but not close enough to be the designated baby sitter.
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Re: Optimal proximity to grandkids
Old 01-20-2007, 08:06 AM   #25
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Re: Optimal proximity to grandkids



I would just fine with me if they wanted to live by us...
I just don't want to have to live by them.

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Re: Optimal proximity to grandkids
Old 01-20-2007, 10:39 AM   #26
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Re: Optimal proximity to grandkids

I am unable to participate in the poll because I don't have grandkids.

But because I can't participate in the poll, I am unable to see the results! I'd like to see the results.

Audrey
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Re: Optimal proximity to grandkids
Old 01-20-2007, 11:31 AM   #27
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Re: Optimal proximity to grandkids

Audry, I modified the poll so anyone can see it.
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Re: Optimal proximity to grandkids
Old 01-20-2007, 12:16 PM   #28
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Re: Optimal proximity to grandkids

Thanks!

Wow, that's impressive. Almost 75% of the respondents are within 4 hrs - a half days drive!

Audrey
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Re: Optimal proximity to grandkids
Old 01-20-2007, 01:55 PM   #29
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Re: Optimal proximity to grandkids

MY proximity to grandkids is measured in time, 15 years or more - when my oldest will be 25.

My parents live the optimum distance from us...45 minutes. Close enough to see when you want, not far enough to ever need to stay over, and too far to risk the dirve without calling first.

As far as when my own 4 kids start popping them out...we would *like* to build a house for each of them right here on the farm...impossible to say which if any of them will be interested in living close by, but my wife and I both hope they choose to (if real estate keeps going up the offer of a free large parcel of land to site a house may just be too tempting).

I wouldn't want to fall into the trap of full-time childcare provider for grandkids however...seesm it would be a tough role to get out of once you start it...still a lot of travelling we hope to do when the time comes.
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Re: Optimal proximity to grandkids
Old 01-20-2007, 02:16 PM   #30
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Re: Optimal proximity to grandkids

I voted even though I don't have any grandkids yet. I do have a 28 yr old son that lives in our same town. He lives with 2 other roommates and I have only been in his house 2 times in about 8 years and it was at his invitation. They live a different lifestyle than we do and they are all single. I would never just pop in to his house. I respect his privacy too much. We talk on the phone every couple of weeks and see each other probably every 2-3 weeks. I will invite him to dinner with us or to go out to eat with us. I am hoping that if he ever gets married and has children, that we will spend more time with him.

My DD is 18 and will be going to college this fall. She is going to WVU which is in our town. We told her that we wanted her to stay in the dorm, because we thought it would be a good experience for her. She flat out refused and said she would not go to college if she could not live at home. We have our ups and downs, but I would be devastated if we do not have a close relationship when she is out on her own. I hope that we have a much closer relationship than we currently have with our son. However, I would respect her privacy, if that is what she wanted.

I would love to be close to any granchildren that we might have someday, so I voted same town. What will be, will be!
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Re: Optimal proximity to grandkids
Old 01-21-2007, 08:43 AM   #31
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Re: Optimal proximity to grandkids

The optimal proximity to grandkids is the metaphysical space that exists between me and their non-existent parents.
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