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Re: Playing With Your Children
Old 10-31-2006, 11:33 AM   #21
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Re: Playing With Your Children

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Originally Posted by yakers
Does helping DS, a high school senior, with homework count as playing?
I sure hope so, I do enough of it.

The Princess and I went looking at carpet and furniture yesterday and as we were driving around at one point she said "you don't know how great it has been to have you home." She went on to say that the kids love it, and reminded me of a note that our oldest son had written me when he was younger. It had graphs showing how much dad worked and how much time he spent with Sam. The working side was winning by a massive amount.

I played with my kids when they were small, and as they grew older the nature of our together time changed to sports and home repair/maintenance projects. When I was working I always found time to coach teams, go to plays and ceremonies, school open house, etc. But where I was deficient was in what I'll call unstructured time. Just being there to answer a question, to help with homework, to eat dinner together, to drive them somewhere to run an errand, teach them how to drive, etc. Being here for them during those moments has been my biggest reward so far since I ER'ed.

Princess summed it up well when she said "they want you around, but they don't need you involved in everything they're doing all the time. They like together time in bits and pieces here and there when they need it."
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Re: Playing With Your Children
Old 10-31-2006, 01:55 PM   #22
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Re: Playing With Your Children

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Originally Posted by Leonidas
and reminded me of a note that our oldest son had written me when he was younger. It had graphs showing how much dad worked and how much time he spent with Sam. The working side was winning by a massive amount.
Wow, smart kid. It was a very powerful note, I'm sure.
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Re: Playing With Your Children
Old 10-31-2006, 02:13 PM   #23
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Re: Playing With Your Children

When I was a little kid, my Dad and I had an HO scale train set that we built together, and he'd take me for walks in the woods, day trips, stuff like that. We also had pet turtles. And he built me some model cars which, unfortunately, one day a few years after the divorce all perished one rainy Saturday when I decided to hold a demolition derby after watching "Grand Theft Auto"

I also remember my Mom and me playing that Mousetrap game and board games. She read stories to me when I was little, too. I got an Intellivision for my 12th birthday, and she tried to play it with me, but I guess she just never took too well to video games. And by the time my stepdad was in my life, it was age 12 and beyond, and we never got along. My Granddad would play board games with me though, like Monopoly, and he even got pretty good at the Poker and Blackjack game that came with the Intellivision.

I don't have any kids though, so I dunno if all that childhood playing did any good or not! :P
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Re: Playing With Your Children
Old 10-31-2006, 02:44 PM   #24
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Re: Playing With Your Children
Old 10-31-2006, 06:47 PM   #25
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Re: Playing With Your Children

From the stories I've heard my parents were always around to take care of me and make sure I was safe. That is pretty much it. Past the infantile years when I was able to start making friends I played solely with my friends. Parents took me to the usual kid places and sightseeing places, but that's pretty much it. It seems to me that amongst people my age our parents basically left us to our own devices in early childhood.
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Re: Playing With Your Children
Old 10-31-2006, 10:02 PM   #26
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Re: Playing With Your Children

You got meals? Damn it! I just knew I was getting ripped off!
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Re: Playing With Your Children
Old 11-01-2006, 03:42 AM   #27
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Re: Playing With Your Children

I think that would be great.. that's how we grew up.. playing unsupervised around the neighborhood. Or rather, let's say.. lightly supervised since we were usually in someone's backyard, rec room, or just out in the (lightly-trafficked) street.

Problem is, today, if you did that with your kid, who would they play with? The streets are deserted in my sister's neighborhood, even though I know almost every house has one or more kids. They're all being shuttled to organized activities or being kept inside.. thus, the parents HAVE to play with them more; they have no spontaneous games or playmates of their own.
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Re: Playing With Your Children
Old 11-01-2006, 06:51 AM   #28
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Re: Playing With Your Children

That's the way it was in my neighborhood too ladelfina, we were outside all day no matter what season, had to be home before the streetlights came on and usually had to be called for dinner because we were so busy playing. We had the most cool stuff in our backyard so that's where we all played but we also used the neighbors yard across the street for baseball games or the horse pasture next to my friends house. We built forts in the woods and tree houses, organized our own parades, rode our bikes everywhere, went ice skating on the pond one street over, went sliding on the big hill at the end of the street, went fishing in the stream down the road. We knew the old man down the street was werid and stayed away from him and we knew which mothers were home and would take care of any injuries.

I know there are kids in my neighborhood, I see them in the back seats of the SUVS that drive by my house, I feel bad for them.
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Re: Playing With Your Children
Old 11-01-2006, 07:01 AM   #29
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Re: Playing With Your Children

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Originally Posted by Outtahere
That's the way it was in my neighborhood too ladelfina, we were outside all day no matter what season, had to be home before the streetlights came on and usually had to be called for dinner because we were so busy playing. We had the most cool stuff in our backyard so that's where we all played but we also used the neighbors yard across the street for baseball games or the horse pasture next to my friends house. We built forts in the woods and tree houses, organized our own parades, rode our bikes everywhere, went ice skating on the pond one street over, went sliding on the big hill at the end of the street, went fishing in the stream down the road. We knew the old man down the street was werid and stayed away from him and we knew which mothers were home and would take care of any injuries.

I know there are kids in my neighborhood, I see them in the back seats of the SUVS that drive by my house, I feel bad for them.
This was my childhood as well. Just about exactly. When I was not out on adventures with
my Dad/Granddad, they just turned me loose. Being a boy, when I got to my teens they didn't know when I would show up (This was rural Illinois
in the 50s). Never seemed to be a problem. They didn't ask, I didn't
tell. Just came and went as I pleased.

JG
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Re: Playing With Your Children
Old 11-01-2006, 08:45 AM   #30
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Re: Playing With Your Children
Old 11-01-2006, 09:39 AM   #31
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Re: Playing With Your Children

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I've been looking for a good Ham Francisco recipe...
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Re: Playing With Your Children
Old 11-06-2006, 08:42 AM   #32
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Re: Playing With Your Children

My mom taught me to sew and we spent a lot of time "playing" that way. We still spend time sewing when we are together!

Dad would teach us archery and help us with our treehouses and forts. A lot of our time playing with him was gardening and helping him to build stuff and learning to power tools.
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Re: Playing With Your Children
Old 11-06-2006, 09:08 AM   #33
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Re: Playing With Your Children

Yeland, that's what I remember about my grandmother, she taught me how to bake. To this day I still remember watching her and helping her and I can still whip up a cake or pastry from scratch in no time.
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