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View Poll Results: Do you mix your finances?
Not applicable (as I'm single and not involved with anyone) 12 7.36%
No (Finances 100% separate - Yours is yours, theirs is theirs) 12 7.36%
Kinda/Sorta (Finances mixed in some manner. Feel free to explain) 29 17.79%
Yes (Finances are 100% in "one shared pot") 110 67.48%
Voters: 163. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 04-22-2012, 11:50 PM   #41
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We live in a communal property country, so everything belongs to both of us, we have a joint and separate accounts.

I have children from a previous marriage, which may complicate things in the future.

We have been married for >30 years and I have never had any reason not to trust her. However, I have pushed her to get her to get a credit card and HELOC in her own name - one never knows what might happen tomorrow and I know of instances where both credit cards were cancelled when the primary cardholder died.
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Old 04-23-2012, 12:23 AM   #42
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We have joint accounts, a 'his' joint and a 'her' joint savings/checking and credit cards in two credit unions. We keep out of each other's accounts. Our work schedules are different, and keeping co-mingled money would be confusingly difficult when we don't see each other. I pay some bills and DW pays the others. Retirement is separate by law, but we are each other's beneficiaries. After nearly twenty years, why mess with what works.
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Old 04-23-2012, 12:32 PM   #43
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We married later in life (late 30's for me, late 40's for him.) We both had houses in our own names. We kept separate accounts for the early years. In fact I charged him rent. But he got to keep the rent he was getting on his house. I did add him to my primary checking/savings, and he added me to his... but we used them separately.

Later we changed states. By that time we felt comfortable enough to comingle. So we opened joint accounts here. When we bought our house - it's titled in both names.

IRA's and 401ks are separate. But we have each other listed as beneficiaries.
I inherited an IRA and a taxable brokerage account. I keep those in my name. But we treat them as joint funds. We're not pulling from them (that's a big chunk of our retirement nest egg and emergency fund). Since they've never been comingled, I'm pretty sure they'd remain mine in the case of divorce. No plans for divorce, though... LOL. We used much of my taxable inherited money to pay for construction on our jointly owned property... so it's shared.

Mortgage is in my name. That's because we refi'd right as my husband's previous firm was imploding... seemed safer. Mortgage payments are paid from the joint account.

Basically - day to day funding is in common accounts. Retirement and inheritance is in separate accounts. But treated as joint for all practical purposes.

Don't remember if the kids 529's are in my name or both... I think he's the next in line if I die, with the kids as beneficiaries. (They don't own the accounts.)
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Old 04-23-2012, 01:36 PM   #44
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Midpack View Post
We got married 32 years ago, did anyone have separate accounts back then when dinosaurs walked the earth?
I've been living with, or married to my husband for over 25 years. We have always had separate accounts. We were both married before, and had bad experiences. No money fights, ever.
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Old 04-23-2012, 06:40 PM   #45
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Originally Posted by MichaelB View Post
We shared our finances since day 1, back when we had nothing to share and barely enough for even one account. The only seperate bank accounts either of us had were payroll accounts or HSA.
Same for us. In recent years, we've opened a small savings account/debit for my wife that she uses for gifts and other items. Since I do most of the financials and download credit card information regularly, she was tired of me seeing birthday and Christmas purchases in near real time. Our perspective is that regardless of how the money was earned, once it was paid, it belonged to both of us, has worked for 35 years!
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Old 04-23-2012, 06:41 PM   #46
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I like this post on the subject.

Relationships and Money: Are You Communist, Socialist, or Capitalist? My Money Blog

I'm a capitalist... However, living in a community property state with no prenup I know legally it isn't the case. Also, if we have kids something will have to change.

For a fairly decent chunk of time our net worth was similar. Now mine is ~ twice DWs which can be a concern at times. While DW and I are pretty compatible $$ wise we don't see eye to eye on early retirement so separate finances is one tool in my mind that would allow me to retire earlier than her with no hard feelings.
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Old 04-23-2012, 09:31 PM   #47
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Quote:
Originally Posted by devans0 View Post
We have joint accounts, a 'his' joint and a 'her' joint savings/checking and credit cards in two credit unions. We keep out of each other's accounts. Our work schedules are different, and keeping co-mingled money would be confusingly difficult when we don't see each other. I pay some bills and DW pays the others. Retirement is separate by law, but we are each other's beneficiaries. After nearly twenty years, why mess with what works.
+1

  • 2 similar paychecks that go to 2 separate checking accounts (although jointly owned)
  • Bills split equitably between the two of us.
  • Both contributing similar (large) amounts to our retirement accounts
  • Both buy into LBYM
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Old 04-23-2012, 10:34 PM   #48
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We don't have one account that is joint. We have a blended family, married 19 years. I had a daughter who he adopted and he had two sons that lived with their mom but spent a great deal of time with us as well. Otherwise no biologically joint children. We don't use the word "step" as in step son in our house. We also have a post nup. We share the expenses of the house without a lot of hoopla. Expenses of the children thru the years fell down the line....meaning I paid expenses for my daughter and he paid expenses for his sons. Blending the finances based on a previous divorce was just not something I was comfortable with. Inherited or accumulated assets prior to marriage were not co-mingled although the house might fall a different way if push ever came to shove. I owned the house we live in prior to marriage. He owns his business property. Etc.etc. I have insurance to protect him and vice versa if one of us passes away. Works for us. Blended families require a different way of dealing with ones assets.
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Old 04-24-2012, 12:41 AM   #49
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We've been together for more than 24 years, but we are gay and can not marry. We both have checking, savings and brokerage accounts that are joint. We also have wills and power of attorney but it is not the same as being married.

Just tonite we were talking about buying a tax exempt bond fund and would qualify for Vanguard's admiral shares if we pooled the money into one account. The problem is the IRS considers us moving money between our accounts to be 'gifting' to each other if it is over $13k per year.

So, I guess the answer for me is that we intermingle our finances as much as we are allowed to.
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Old 04-24-2012, 04:57 AM   #50
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I have never shared any account or property with any past girlfriend.
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Old 04-25-2012, 07:17 PM   #51
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Those of you who think your 401k or IRA is all yours have never seen the word QDRO . The trick is to stay married.

And you need to have your spouse release their place as the primary beneficiary. The trick is to outlive them.

Joint accounts can be as inequitable as unshared when one person dominates the withdrawals before the bills come in. I'm not bitter no not after this amount of time
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