Poll: How happy are you in your ER stage?

[David1961]

Can one of the two people that voted "'less happy than expected" so far elaborate?

First off, I am not one of those who voted that way. But I do remember the first month or two was the hardest for me, so if I would have completed this poll about one month in, I probably would have voted "less happy than expected". I was frequently asking myself if I made the right decision. Going from a "portfolio building" mode to a "withdrawal" mode was also an adjustment for me. Now I am slightly over two years in ER, and I am much happier than I was in the first two months. For me, it was a process. I'm not quite to the point where I don't know how I ever had time to work, but I'm getting there very fast. The difference between what I expected and how happy I actually am is getting bigger each day (in a positive way)!

 

[Lsbcal]

ER Jan 1993, age 49 1/2 via lay-off.

A little chewy at first until I let go of my 'unemployed slacker personna' and embraced this forum/the concept of ER.

A few bumps - overly aggressive on frugal early on, Katrina wiped out the no flood insurance camp(house over water), girlfriend of 29 yrs passed away, and of course Mr Markets thrills and chills.

Relocated 1000 miles inland on a hill.

Married at age 70 and relocated to Paradise - Kansas City.

heh heh heh - new wife may have altered my attitude a tad.

I like your attitude Unclemick. Except I think you are backing the wrong team in the World Series.

 

[Donzo]

In my 8th year and happier than i expected and I expected to be happy.
Still into old hobbies have new ones along with a good solid group of friends/acquaintances.
As I've said before, my only complaint concerning ER is how fast the years are flying by...

 

[Kimo]

I am in about 2 1/2 years and if it just asked how happy am I to be away from the workplace it would be 1000%

As far as everything else, it is more or less what I expected/planned for so therefore I count it as going as planned....

 

[truenorth418]

Three years in, I am much happier in retirement than I was working.

I can relate to the article's comments around social disconnectedness. With work, dealing with people is built in. In retirement, it takes more effort to find people to connect with. Like a lot of things, retirement is what you make it and in some respects it takes effort.


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[dallas27]

Does the book mention if the unhappy people are equally prepared/funded for retirement as the happy people?


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[NW-Bound]

Same old, same old, as I was working sporadic part-time work for many years prior to pulling the plug for real.

More free time, but without earned income, seeing so much money being transferred out of the brokerage accounts into the checking account takes a bit of time to get used to.

 

[imoldernu]

Ultimately happy...

Never expected to be able to retire.

 

[Focus]

Does the book mention if the unhappy people are equally prepared/funded for retirement as the happy people?

From the book: "Retirees who have inadequate income or face financial uncertainties are likely to feel stressed and as a result are more likely to be unhappy in retirement." No surprise there.

 

[Looking4Ward]

The end of this week will be a total of 5 months ER'd for me.

I still have to remind myself several times a week that I don't have to go to work in the morning.

It's MUCH better than I expected

 

[AnIntentionalRoad]

2 years into ER. Happy but a bit less happy than I expected to be.

I struggle with the social isolation of ER. I'm an introvert and have to work really hard at socializing. I do. But I definitely feel a lack of close friendships that was filled with superficial work friends. Now that I am on my own, I don't have those built-in work friends.

 

[seraphim]

Much happier than I expected, and I'm coming up on two years. Our house needs a lot of updating before we can sell it and, though I enjoy building, our house needs a LOT of updating before we can sell it. But we are in no rush, and we jump off not the truck camper whenever we wish, pick a direction, and travel. When we come back we can think about what to do next on the house, design, ride our bikes, canoe, hike, take photos, lounge around and goof off - whatever the whim strikes - and when we have reached a remodeling consensus and the moment feels right, enjoy doing a little work around the house. Get tired of working around the house, stop and do something else. Our financial situation is also much better than I expected, so that means no worries there. I'm also getting the garage set up as wood shop area, in prep for for some carpentry work.

And when all that gets too much, there's always the recliner, a good book, and that wonderful, wonderful mid-afternoon nap.

Haven't seen any actual poll to add my vote, though...

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[sengsational]

Can one of the two people that voted "'less happy than expected" so far elaborate?

Curious.

In short, after retiring this past January there were some life events that threw me for a bit of a loop.

My expectations were that "every day would be a Friday". Even though that was tongue in cheek, I expected a lighter existance. But reality set in with a few events that I won't bore you with. These are the kinds of events that, after five years, I probably won't even remember, but when they were happening, they seemed (and seem) like a big deal. I'm looking forward to putting these things behind me and getting on with enjoying my life. By January, these things should be behind me. I just hope they're not replaced by others!

So if it hadn't been for these couple of unexpected problems, I'd have answered "as expected", and if you ask me the same question in a year from now, I predict it would be "as expected".

 

[Sea Kayaker]

2 years into ER. Happy but a bit less happy than I expected to be.

I struggle with the social isolation of ER. I'm an introvert and have to work really hard at socializing. I do. But I definitely feel a lack of close friendships that was filled with superficial work friends. Now that I am on my own, I don't have those built-in work friends.

I get this. During the day while my wife is at work, I am in a bit of a social vacuum. I get groceries, go to library, gym, sometimes the local Tim Hortons where I will grab a newspaper and enjoy a coffee. Been doing this for a month, and while I've had more than a few friendly conversations with folks, I'm certainly not developing any real connections with people - though to be honest, I'm not sure I'm seeking that right now. Still in decompression mode I think.

DW is quite sociable, and has a network of friends that I quite like - so I get swept up into DW's social scene, which is enough for me for now.

Once I start pursuing some of my hobbies with vigour, and joining groups and clubs associated with them, I think I will develop some friendships - sure hope so.

 

[ejman]

I ER'd 12 years ago and it has been wonderful, just as I expected it to be so I marked 6+ years no more or less happy than expected. I took a one year sabbatical 12 years before ER to test the retirement waters. The 12 year (so far) sabbatical has met all expectations developed during the one year trial run.

 

[Focus]

I realize this poll is not even remotely scientific, but based on the results so far...

For us proactive early retirees, it appears that the happiness level kicks up a notch after year two of retirement and then again after year five, surpassing original expectations. That's good news for those of us at an early stage.

 

[FUEGO]

I'm at 1 year and it's been pretty awesome, which is what I expected so I voted in the "neither more happy nor less happy" bucket.

The timing of my ER was very sudden. Found out about possible mass firings at work on a Saturday after returning from vacation, and walked in Monday morning to an 8:30 am meeting where the boss told me to pack my $hit. That was about 2.5 years earlier than scheduled, and it took me a while to adjust to ER. Part of that was becoming the full time caretaker of my our 2 year old and other kids. I figured he'd be almost 4 by the time I ER'd (and therefore much less of a handful).

I can't think of a single time I've been bored. There's always something to do and if anything I feel like some days I could use a less busy schedule (I look forward to empty days on my calendar!). I might re-evaluate ER after the youngest enters school and again when the youngest leaves the house in 16 more years. Until those milestones, I think I'm sticking with it.

The enjoyment of ER to me is mostly the ability to explore or do anything I want and devote a lot of time to it in big chunks. And not having to panic Sunday evenings that work is just a few winks of sleep away.

I still get up early to my alarm clock every day to get the kids packed up for school, but I don't hate getting up early like I used to when I was working. I'm getting up and doing something for myself and my family, not for someone else in exchange for money.

I know my day will start with a short walk to/from school with the kids where we can chat about things and enjoy nature. Then I'm free for most of the morning and early afternoon to do whatever.

 

[chris66]

Retired 7 months, earlier than planned, and at age 48 (in the range of the study group). Neither happier or unhappier than expected, but my nature is to be optimistic and I guess I have a high happiness baseline (in contrast to DH who is more pessimistic). Despite the study, I expect to be happier after 2 years of retirement, but not just because of rosy aspirations. I expect things to settle down considerably. We retired early because DH and I were both part of a layoff. Because the layoff was a few years earlier than we had planned to retire, I got another job. However, I wasn't happy, mostly because I wanted to focus on our home remodel, and so we decided we were ready for retirement now, after all.

However, in the last year in a half, we've sold our previous primary residence, moved to our retirement home. Then, moved to an apartment near my new job, then moved back to our retirement home (3 moves in about a year). We undertook a total home remodel that we should finish up next month. At the same time, my MIL, who is 93 and has Parkinson's (and who has always been a bit difficult), may be developing dementia, as she thinks we're out to get her. She's always had a defiant personality, so it's difficult to say she's losing it -- but it does seem so. It's heart wrenching to want the best for someone who isn't making good decisions for themselves and who is angry at you for helping. Dealing with my MIL is very much like dealing with a troubled teenager. We also haven't put much effort into developing social connections in town, as we've been busy with these other things. I'm in need of some nearby social connections, for sure.

I'm in one of those valleys we all walk thru from time to time. SO...If I'm not unhappy now -- imagine how good it's gonna be when things return to a better state! Besides, I'm kind of a frugal nerd -- was in a simplicity circle probably 15 years ago. I've got some great examples and inspiration to draw upon, both from those folks I knew back then, as well as folks on this board. So, if things don't turn out exactly as planned - well, at least we'll have a comfy home and we'll adjust.

Poll me again in 18 months

 

[Major Tom]

I voted 3-5 years into ER, neither happier nor less happy than expected which is not strictly true, because I had no expectations whatsoever connected with how happy I would be in ER. I don't think of happiness that way. I can tell you whether I am currently feeling happy or not, but I never, ever think of the future and speculate as to how happy I expect to be. I hope this doesn't sound as if I'm being awkward!

However, I can report that I am a little less happy than I'd like to be at this point but that is mainly because my life is in a bit of a holding pattern right now. I am not doing anything new or particularly different. That will hopefully change at some point in the next few years. In the meantime, I'm gently stuck in a fairly pleasant rut. However, had I continued to work, I'd probably be at the same point. My job, which had used to be thrilling had, at the time of my layoff, graduated to being merely enjoyable. If I were still working today, I would probably be feeling in a slight rut with it, which is exactly how I'm feeling with my ER life right now, in general.

I didn't save for FI with the intention of being happy - I did it so that I could be financially secure without needing to work. Happiness, for me, is something that has no connection to whether I am working or not.

I'd like to be able to report to y'all how deliriously happy I am. Sometimes when I log onto Facebook, it seems as if all my Facebook "friends" are eating fantastic food in wonderful restaurants, visiting many different interesting countries, and hanging out with fascinating, and beautiful people. Then when I think a bit more about it, I realize that I have other Facebook friends who don't post all that often. Perhaps they're the ones who are averagely happy, but don't feel like posting status updates to the effect of, "Today is a moderately acceptable day. I do quite like it, and am feeling content with myself" because, well, how dull would that be? I have a sneaky feeling that if there are any ER's here who are having a less than excellent time, they may well not want to admit it to the rest of us.

Or maybe not!

 

[Focus]

I'd like to be able to report to y'all how deliriously happy I am. Sometimes when I log onto Facebook, it seems as if all my Facebook "friends" are eating fantastic food in wonderful restaurants, visiting many different interesting countries, and hanging out with fascinating, and beautiful people. Then when I think a bit more about it, I realize that I have other Facebook friends who don't post all that often. Perhaps they're the ones who are averagely happy, but don't feel like posting status updates to the effect of, "Today is a moderately acceptable day. I do quite like it, and am feeling content with myself" because, well, how dull would that be?

Along those lines, you might find this article interesting...

How Facebook Makes Us Unhappy - The New Yorker

A quote from it:

"In every study that distinguished the two types of Facebook experiences—active versus passive—people spent, on average, far more time passively scrolling through newsfeeds than they did actively engaging with content. This may be why general studies of overall Facebook use ... so often show deleterious effects on our emotional state. Demands on our attention lead us to use Facebook more passively than actively, and passive experiences, no matter the medium, translate to feelings of disconnection and boredom."

 

[Dog]

I voted 0-2 years neither happier or less happy. I'll be 3 months retired as of tomorrow (11/1). The first two weeks started out well until my mother's health declined dramatically. She ended up in the hospital and after 4 days peacefully and painlessly passed away. I had to cancel a backpack trip, kayak trip and a biking trip that were planned for September. I'm her executor, so have been very busy with memorial service, dealing with her small estate and timeshares. I was just starting to see light at the end of the tunnel and then on Tuesday my purse was stolen ($200 cash, $200 in gift cards, credit cards, my checkbook and my mother's estate checkbook). This past week has been spent in damage control - I keep remembering one more thing I had in my wallet or purse that needs addressed.
However, I have still found enjoyment in my first few months of retirement and have not missed work or regretted my decision. I'm already planning some fun snowshoe and XC ski outings with friends and just signed up for a Glacier Travel class to prepare for some mountain adventures next year.

 

[Lsbcal]

I too had to accelerate my ER thinking as rounds of large layoffs finally got to me too. Luckily I received health care benefits in early retirement.

It took me a few years to feel comfy with the new situation. Felt a little bad in late 2008 and early 2009 with that big stock decline. Were we going to be mired in a Depression like my parents went throug? Luckily things got better. Most of the last 11 years have been quite pleasant. Yes, there are slow days but I always seem to get involved with something.

 

[Major Tom]

Along those lines, you might find this article interesting...

How Facebook Makes Us Unhappy - The New Yorker

That's an interesting article wishin&hopin - and the point about active vs passive engagement rings very true. I had not thought of online engagement in those terms before, but it makes a lot of sense.

Thank you for posting it.

 

[jetpack]

I'll put myself in the unhappy category. I certainly thought my life in general would be better off by now, and it was work that was holding me back on some things.

Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to not be working, it's just that life isn't turning out as
good as I had dreamed.

 

[athena53]

Happier than expected so far (6 months in). I'm starting to get my hands around what we need out of pocket and the numbers look very good. It helps that overall our investments have gone up since I retired and that's net of $20K we withdrew for living expenses (don't expect to need any more withdrawals this year).

Socialization isn't a problem; right now I'm over-scheduled with church volunteer activities but that will abate (somewhat) after I get off the vestry (governing board) in January.

The one negative is that I look back on my career and think what I would have done differently. I pretty much fired myself at my last job when the BS got too bad, and I left the employer before that because I was running out of things to do and hadn't found another opportunity in the company even though I applied for multiple openings. I can't bring myself to make long PowerPoint slides with the latest corporate gibberish ("drive superior performance to deliver enhanced customer experience to all stakeholders") and I'm non-confrontational, which meant that I let people get away with crap. Ordinarily I learn from my mistakes and use what I learned to improve things going forward. Here there's no "going forward" because I'm (happily) done working for a living.

I think I need to write a LinkedIn article on what I've learned.