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View Poll Results: What is your current relationship.
Never Married 27 14.36%
Married 132 70.21%
Divorced 13 6.91%
Widow/Widower 5 2.66%
In a relationship 24 12.77%
Not in a relationship 16 8.51%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 188. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 04-10-2014, 01:41 PM   #21
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I've been happily married to an angel for 15 years after first being unhappily married for 13 years to an evil person (being kind) with a 6 year break between the two. I handle all the finances, doing the research and planning for investment choices and asset allocations...then she tells me what we're going to do.
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Old 04-10-2014, 02:14 PM   #22
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Is it easier to plan for ER if you are single? and is it easier to be happy in retirement if you have a partner?

I definitely find it easy to manage my finances as a single person, but I'm obviously not so sure about the emotional side. So what are your thoughts and your current relationship status? I've allowed multiple choices....so you could chose "Married" and "Not in a relationship", and if you do maybe "Divorce" would be next.
Married 32 years. DW was a SAHM. DW has no particular interest in retirement planning and investing so I "run" all that stuff and she trusts me to do that capably. So I guess in a way I have the best of both worlds in that I have the 'ease" of planning as if I were single but have someone to "play" with in retirement.
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Old 04-10-2014, 02:32 PM   #23
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Widowed 11 years after a 26 year marriage, not in a relationship.

When I was married, I was very lazy about finances, retirement planning, gaining investment knowledge. I contributed to my pension and a government 457b plan and parked a small inheritance from my parents in a short-term bond fund for years just so that I would not have to think about it. I let my husband (who made a living in the 1%) worry about the bills, saving for college for our son, and investments. I had no idea where he had anything and in truth, he was so busy in his profession, he didn't have the time or the inclination to learn good investment strategy. We always lived within our means however, despite spending a lot on things that in the end did not contribute much in the way of happiness or contentment.

As a new widow, I made my share mistakes but have now put myself on a path of thoughtful spending and saving and adopted a low-cost index fund type of investment strategy. I am looking forward to retirement in 3 months time!
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Old 04-10-2014, 02:35 PM   #24
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I've lived with my partner for about 20 years. She is abit younger than I and started her career later so she will continue to work after I ER at 55. We had considered getting hitched so I could latch onto her medical benefits (how romantic), but as my Megacorp will provide me with retiree medical care it now appears we will remain happily living in sin.
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Old 04-10-2014, 02:54 PM   #25
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Happily married for 25 years after a five-year marriage that ended over - what else? - handling money, with a five-year break in between. DW is a bit more conservative than I am but that's usually a good thing since she makes me think harder about what's important.

She sets policy and I handle the details.
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Old 04-10-2014, 03:16 PM   #26
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LW died almost 5 years ago. We were married for almost 30 years. Not only was she the perfect mate for me, but she also let me handle all the finances with her input as need be. She knew how to do all the stuff I did in Quicken and also wanted to be able to take over if anything happened to me, so I wrote a detailed document with all our financials. Called it "The Hermit Family Financial Plan." I still use it and keep it up-to-date. Its there for DD to understand when the time comes.

No relationship for me. I don't think it wise to ask someone to live in the shadow of past perfection. Given a few more years (or decades) when the memories have faded... Maybe. (Besides, who would want a relationship with a Hermit?)
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Old 04-10-2014, 03:35 PM   #27
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I can't think of sweeter things to ssy, Hermit.
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Old 04-10-2014, 03:44 PM   #28
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I definitely agree that being single, you can make decisions that are 100% in agreement with what you want.

I am married and I find it helps to have a spouse that has the same thinking and can be a voice of reason for discussion and decision making.
Ditto for me. DW is the counter balance that has kept me on track all these years. We do a lot of brainstorming of ideas and usually uncover faults and/or validate the other's reasoning
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Old 04-10-2014, 04:19 PM   #29
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Two single people, started a relationship and married over 20 years ago... no outside relationships (that I'm aware of). Not very complicated. No plans for divorce or death.
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Old 04-10-2014, 04:28 PM   #30
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... who would want a relationship with a Hermit?
Another Hermit?

Up at my 2nd home in the high country, I have a few neighbors who are single women in their 60s (divorcee or widow) who are financially well-off and live alone. The problem is that as hermits, they do not socialize much to even start a relationship. It's most likely that they do not care to.

And why am I reminded of Hermitian matrices and their properties (such as "All Hermitian matrices have real eigenvalues")?
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Old 04-10-2014, 04:37 PM   #31
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Old 04-10-2014, 05:42 PM   #32
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Another Hermit?

Up at my 2nd home in the high country, I have a few neighbors who are single women in their 60s (divorcee or widow) who are financially well-off and live alone. The problem is that as hermits, they do not socialize much to even start a relationship. It's most likely that they do not care to.
Yes, they do seem to be around. There is one elderly lady who is a summer resident. She wanted to stay up there last fall until Thanksgiving. I told her I would do plowing this year, but was not there late enough to plow last year. Like you said, she is pretty quiet.
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And why am I reminded of Hermitian matrices and their properties (such as "All Hermitian matrices have real eigenvalues")?
Thanks! I'll bring that up at the next Hermit convention!
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Old 04-10-2014, 05:46 PM   #33
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Very complicated.
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Old 04-10-2014, 05:47 PM   #34
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This reminds me. An elderly man I've met in my recent trip to Cost Rica, when asked about his marriage, said "happily married for 25 years. The other 15 years were ok." (or something to the effect)
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Old 04-10-2014, 06:32 PM   #35
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Thanks! I'll bring that up at the next Hermit convention!
Not meaning to be a damper, but I have to add that not all Hermitian matrices are positive definite, meaning some have zero or negative eigenvalues.

I will stop now.
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Old 04-10-2014, 06:36 PM   #36
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Not meaning to be a damper, but I have to add that not all Hermitian matrices are positive definite, meaning some have zero or negative eigenvalues.

I will stop now.
OK. Its back to matrix algebra so I can keep up with all these silly puns!
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Old 04-10-2014, 08:18 PM   #37
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Married in '77 to get insurance, made him plan most of it.
Had a live-in for 3 years in early '90s.
Will be getting married to give income/insurance in a bit; told him: you want the benefits, you arrange it.
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Old 04-10-2014, 08:26 PM   #38
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Old 04-10-2014, 08:36 PM   #39
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I've been happily married to an angel for 15 years after first being unhappily married for 13 years to an evil person (being kind) with a 6 year break between the two. I handle all the finances, doing the research and planning for investment choices and asset allocations...then she tells me what we're going to do.
Just curious, how does someone stay married for 13 years to an evil person? That's a pretty strong term; I would run for the hills the very first time I had a taste of that evil.
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Old 04-10-2014, 09:52 PM   #40
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Married nearly 37 years: I needed a second income to maintain my lifestyle. Seriously, DW got me out of debt, out of a trailer house and is still working! (I retired last year). I handle the investments, she handles the check book ... it all works out. ...so far...
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