Poll: What's your relationship status?

[Hermit]

LW died almost 5 years ago. We were married for almost 30 years. Not only was she the perfect mate for me, but she also let me handle all the finances with her input as need be. She knew how to do all the stuff I did in Quicken and also wanted to be able to take over if anything happened to me, so I wrote a detailed document with all our financials. Called it "The Hermit Family Financial Plan." I still use it and keep it up-to-date. Its there for DD to understand when the time comes.

No relationship for me. I don't think it wise to ask someone to live in the shadow of past perfection. Given a few more years (or decades) when the memories have faded... Maybe. (Besides, who would want a relationship with a Hermit?)

 

[steelyman]

I can't think of sweeter things to ssy, Hermit.

 

[Derslickmeister]

I definitely agree that being single, you can make decisions that are 100% in agreement with what you want.

I am married and I find it helps to have a spouse that has the same thinking and can be a voice of reason for discussion and decision making.

Ditto for me. DW is the counter balance that has kept me on track all these years. We do a lot of brainstorming of ideas and usually uncover faults and/or validate the other's reasoning

 

[panacea]

Two single people, started a relationship and married over 20 years ago... no outside relationships (that I'm aware of). Not very complicated. No plans for divorce or death.

 

[NW-Bound]

... who would want a relationship with a Hermit?

Another Hermit?

Up at my 2nd home in the high country, I have a few neighbors who are single women in their 60s (divorcee or widow) who are financially well-off and live alone. The problem is that as hermits, they do not socialize much to even start a relationship. It's most likely that they do not care to.

And why am I reminded of Hermitian matrices and their properties (such as "All Hermitian matrices have real eigenvalues")?

 

[Nemo2]

- Divorced once.

- Widowed once.

- Currently VERY happily married.

 

[Hermit]

Another Hermit?

Up at my 2nd home in the high country, I have a few neighbors who are single women in their 60s (divorcee or widow) who are financially well-off and live alone. The problem is that as hermits, they do not socialize much to even start a relationship. It's most likely that they do not care to.

Yes, they do seem to be around. There is one elderly lady who is a summer resident. She wanted to stay up there last fall until Thanksgiving. I told her I would do plowing this year, but was not there late enough to plow last year. Like you said, she is pretty quiet.

And why am I reminded of Hermitian matrices and their properties (such as "All Hermitian matrices have real eigenvalues")?

Thanks! I'll bring that up at the next Hermit convention!

 

[obgyn65]

Very complicated.

 

[robnplunder]

This reminds me. An elderly man I've met in my recent trip to Cost Rica, when asked about his marriage, said "happily married for 25 years. The other 15 years were ok." (or something to the effect)

 

[NW-Bound]

Thanks! I'll bring that up at the next Hermit convention!

Not meaning to be a damper, but I have to add that not all Hermitian matrices are positive definite, meaning some have zero or negative eigenvalues.

I will stop now.

 

[Hermit]

Not meaning to be a damper, but I have to add that not all Hermitian matrices are positive definite, meaning some have zero or negative eigenvalues.

I will stop now.

OK. Its back to matrix algebra so I can keep up with all these silly puns!

 

[Khan]

Married in '77 to get insurance, made him plan most of it.
Had a live-in for 3 years in early '90s.
Will be getting married to give income/insurance in a bit; told him: you want the benefits, you arrange it.

 

[Gumby]

Still married to my bride of 30 years. She's a keeper.

 

[Letj]

I've been happily married to an angel for 15 years after first being unhappily married for 13 years to an evil person (being kind) with a 6 year break between the two. I handle all the finances, doing the research and planning for investment choices and asset allocations...then she tells me what we're going to do.

Just curious, how does someone stay married for 13 years to an evil person? That's a pretty strong term; I would run for the hills the very first time I had a taste of that evil.

 

[racy]

Married nearly 37 years: I needed a second income to maintain my lifestyle. Seriously, DW got me out of debt, out of a trailer house and is still working! (I retired last year). I handle the investments, she handles the check book ... it all works out. ...so far...

 

[ABQ2015]

Never married. In some ways it is probably easier to handle my finances being single but I would love to be part of a two income couple. Also I'm risk adverse and would like someone else to make investment decisions. But I don't mind tracking expenses, paying the bills, comparison shopping, researching financial and retirement matters, etc.

 

[nun]

Another Hermit?

Up at my 2nd home in the high country, I have a few neighbors who are single women in their 60s (divorcee or widow) who are financially well-off and live alone. The problem is that as hermits, they do not socialize much to even start a relationship. It's most likely that they do not care to.

And why am I reminded of Hermitian matrices and their properties (such as "All Hermitian matrices have real eigenvalues")?

Here's a misanthrope's intro on a dating site:

Misanthrope in search of similar for mutual loathing.

 

[NW-Bound]

Introverts who do not actively seek companionship are not necessarily misanthropes. It so happened that last weekend I picked up my copy of "The Joy of Not Working" by Zelinski and reread the last chapter where the author talked about how self-actualized people can be content being alone, yet they can be social and open to friendship in the right occasions. It's just that they do not actively seek companionship as a necessity to being happy.

 

[Major Tom]

Hear, hear NW-Bound. I often try to make this distinction when attempting to explain that my preference for spending so much time alone in no way implies a dislike of people. Not everyone gets it.

 

[springnr]

Unloved - YouTube

 

[seraphim]

Poll:What's your relationship status?

OP

Depends on many variables which depend on two separate and distinct people and how well they mesh. Or don't.

There is no accurate answer to the question within such general parameters.

Being with my wife is more important to me than having money. I even felt that way when we had no money, and it didn't look like we ever would. Money never even figured into the equation 36 years ago in our decision to be together. We treat finances as 'ours', so no it is not difficult.

Overall, it depends on the person you're in a relationship with. Or the person they are...

Btw - Briggs Stratton has me as a 95% introvert. INTJ.

 

[Major Tom]

Unloved - YouTube

That was great springnr. Brought a tear to my eye!

 

[Sue J]

Poll:What's your relationship status?

OP

Depends on many variables which depend on two separate and distinct people and how well they mesh. Or don't.

There is no accurate answer to the question within such general parameters.

Being with my wife is more important to me than having money. I even felt that way when we had no money, and it didn't look like we ever would. Money never even figured into the equation 36 years ago in our decision to be together. We treat finances as 'ours', so no it is not difficult.

Overall, it depends on the person you're in a relationship with. Or the person they are...

Btw - Briggs Stratton has me as a 95% introvert. INTJ.

Did you mean Myers-Briggs? Briggs Stratton makes engines for lawn mowers. But maybe your lawn mower knows you better than anyone else.

 

[steelyman]

Did you mean Myers-Briggs? Briggs Stratton makes engines for lawn mowers. But maybe your lawn mower knows you better than anyone else.

My mower is INGS ("I'm not gonna start").

Kidding, it's a Deere and has been admirable since 1998

 

[haha]

Never married. In some ways it is probably easier to handle my finances being single but I would love to be part of a two income couple. Also I'm risk adverse and would like someone else to make investment

Piece of cake. Just find a woman, ask her if she would also love to be part of a two income couple.

You'd sweep her off her feet, you old romantic.

Ha