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View Poll Results: What is your current relationship.
Never Married 27 14.36%
Married 132 70.21%
Divorced 13 6.91%
Widow/Widower 5 2.66%
In a relationship 24 12.77%
Not in a relationship 16 8.51%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 188. You may not vote on this poll

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Poll: What's your relationship status?
Old 04-10-2014, 10:38 AM   #1
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Poll: What's your relationship status?

Is it easier to plan for ER if you are single? and is it easier to be happy in retirement if you have a partner?

I definitely find it easy to manage my finances as a single person, but I'm obviously not so sure about the emotional side. So what are your thoughts and your current relationship status? I've allowed multiple choices....so you could chose "Married" and "Not in a relationship", and if you do maybe "Divorce" would be next.
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Old 04-10-2014, 10:50 AM   #2
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None of those options describe my situation. Facebook would say "it's complicated" but it's not at all. It only gets complicated when others want to know the exact status of my relationship, and I start trying to describe it in a way that will satisfy their need to know what's going on with me (preferably with the minimum number of words).

As far as finances go, I am completely independent, and it sure makes financial planning easy. If I want to change my spending or investing habits, I can turn on a dime without the need to get the other party on board.

My 3 cats don't care what I do with my money as long as they get fed regularly and have places to sleep
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Old 04-10-2014, 10:56 AM   #3
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I am divorced. A couple of years after that I met my beloved, and we have been in a committed relationship for over 14 years by now. We have no plans to marry.

Being single was tremendously helpful in preparing for retirement because I have complete control over my spending. My hat is off to anybody who managed to prepare(financially) for retirement while married; I sure couldn't. Like Tom said in his post above, it is wonderful to be able to make financial decisions by myself rather than having to pass it by someone else who may not be on board with these decisions.

I am very happy in retirement, and we spend time together every single day. I would probably be lonely and sad without him, and that would affect my happiness in retirement.

If you don't have a relationship now, when you retire you will have plenty of time to figure out how to meet someone. There are lots of other single retirees out there in the world.
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Old 04-10-2014, 10:59 AM   #4
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Divorced since 1999. Live in GF since 2008. Works nicely!!!
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Old 04-10-2014, 11:02 AM   #5
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Why do the poll numbers add up to 160%?
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Old 04-10-2014, 11:04 AM   #6
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Originally Posted by karluk View Post
Why do the poll numbers add up to 160%?
Because participants can vote for more than one option. For example, I voted for "divorced" and for "in a relationship".
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Old 04-10-2014, 11:08 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by W2R View Post
Because participants can vote for more than one option. For example, I voted for "divorced" and for "in a relationship".
Put me down for "married" and for "in a relationship".
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Old 04-10-2014, 11:13 AM   #8
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Put me down for "married" and for "in a relationship".

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Old 04-10-2014, 11:13 AM   #9
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I definitely agree that being single, you can make decisions that are 100% in agreement with what you want.

I am married and I find it helps to have a spouse that has the same thinking and can be a voice of reason for discussion and decision making.
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Old 04-10-2014, 11:15 AM   #10
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Originally Posted by W2R View Post
Because participants can vote for more than one option. For example, I voted for "divorced" and for "in a relationship".
+1
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Old 04-10-2014, 11:18 AM   #11
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I voted for "In a relationship, But I guess I should have also voted for "Single"
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Old 04-10-2014, 12:03 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by karluk View Post
Why do the poll numbers add up to 160%?
Why does 0 receive a bar, indicating an amount?
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Old 04-10-2014, 12:08 PM   #13
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It was way easier to manage my finances as a single guy. I wanted to change something, I just did it. Now, I manage the finances for both, but since she has a significant income stream as well, I don't do anything without vetting it through DW first. Sometimes, she complains that she feels like she's not in control of things, so I slow down and we talk through it.

The important thing is that we are both committed to LBYM and saving. She isn't sure she'll retire as early as I want to (fine by me being a kept man!), but she is 100% onboard with being FI as early as possible. There's a desire, more on her end, to be truly "wealthy" later in life so we can travel in our 50s, buy a luxury car if we want, not have to worry about where we live, etc. We both understand that the way to get there is to LBOM now, and get rich slowly.
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Old 04-10-2014, 12:09 PM   #14
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Put me down for "married" and for "in a relationship".
Hopefully to the same woman , or the FI in the FIRE status would not last long.
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Old 04-10-2014, 12:17 PM   #15
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I am married and I think it'd be much easier (and cheaper) to plan RE if I were single. I am more flexible on what car to drive, where to live, etc.. Emotionally, I will find ways to adjust to a single life.
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Old 04-10-2014, 12:22 PM   #16
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I'm married. Probably the toughest category in this poll as far as ER planning is concerned. DW's plans and mine can be different at times.
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Old 04-10-2014, 12:23 PM   #17
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Have been divorced, single for 10 years, remarried for 9 years. The majority of the investments belong to me (he brings a nice Federal pension and lifetime healthcare!), so he let's me manage the finances with input when I ask for it. He isn't interested in the details, just the broad strokes, and I am very happy that he will participate in discussions when big decisions need to be made. I actually feel I'm making better decisions now with his input than I did when I was single.

Overall, we have similar views about finances and money -- this seems to be one of the biggest disconnects a couple can have, and is responsible for a lot of divorces. We're both frugal and debt-adverse. We both paid off our homes by age 50 when we met. He did it after a difficult divorce by taking in roommates and wearing a snowmobile suit indoors to avoid using heat until he was able to pay off his mortgage. A man after my own heart!

Having both been through first marriages, we decided to do a pre-nup agreement that would inventory our assets coming into the marriage and keep them separate. We haven't merged investment accounts. I'm not sure how I would feel if we had done the merger of assets, probably not as positive about our situation. We're both happy with the arrangement and have never had any conflict about it.

We both LBOM. He retired at 55 three years ago, and I've just retired myself. We're in the process of moving away from a financial advisory firm and toward DIY, index-fund-based portfolio. We'll cut out about 2% expense in management fees and will be able to nearly double our withdrawals and still feel safe. A tremendous feeling!
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Old 04-10-2014, 12:32 PM   #18
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I forgot to say that we have been married for 34 years. In my case, it's easier to retire with this status as two can live well with less than 2X the amount a single person needs, although at this point we can divide the assets and are still millionaire with plenty of margin.

A married couple can easily have 2 homes (same as a single person with 1 home). They can travel together in an RV and the only extra expense is a bit more food (my DW does not eat much , nor does she drink). Oh wait! She eats the same whether on travel or not!
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Old 04-10-2014, 12:41 PM   #19
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I have been married 13 years. I find it easy to manage our finances and plan for retirement because we share similar values and goals.
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Old 04-10-2014, 01:35 PM   #20
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Complicated. Very...
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