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Post FIRE - nice feeling
Old 09-11-2015, 07:05 AM   #1
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Post FIRE - nice feeling

DW and I are away for a few days and staying at resort/hotel on the eastern shore of Maryland.

Yesterday on our way out we passed by one of the meeting rooms, and there were about 25 people sitting in there staring at some Powerpoint slide and they all looked like they were about to fall asleep as the speaker droned on.

Later that evening they were having a group dinner and you could hear them using all those wonderful MegaCorp buzzwords like strategy and 'relationship selling'. I said to DW, I wonder how long before someone says "mission statement"

Well about 15 minutes later someone mentions the new mission statement. DW almost spit her drink out.

Oh how I do NOT miss those days!!!
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Old 09-11-2015, 07:20 AM   #2
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Great job!

I am looking forward to that feeling myself. It's coming fast when I look back, just not as fast when I look forward.

When I go to some of those types of meetings, I have no doubt that smaller business can compete with the larger ones.

A standard joke, "How many people work at your company?" A. "About half".
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Old 09-11-2015, 10:38 AM   #3
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Similar thing happened to me about a month ago. While in Spokane at the hotel, there was some type of Hippa conference going on. During breakfast, it was interesting to hear the attendees talk of their day ahead. After breakfast, I went to the guest laundry room to wash some clothes. Well, the laundry room was right across the hall from the open door conference room, and I thought to myself, I'd rather be not working and in here washing clothes any day instead of in there listening to blah blah blah...
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Old 09-11-2015, 10:40 AM   #4
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Originally Posted by jwkde View Post
DW and I are away for a few days and staying at resort/hotel on the eastern shore of Maryland.

Yesterday on our way out we passed by one of the meeting rooms, and there were about 25 people sitting in there staring at some Powerpoint slide and they all looked like they were about to fall asleep as the speaker droned on.

Later that evening they were having a group dinner and you could hear them using all those wonderful MegaCorp buzzwords like strategy and 'relationship selling'. I said to DW, I wonder how long before someone says "mission statement"

Well about 15 minutes later someone mentions the new mission statement. DW almost spit her drink out.

Oh how I do NOT miss those days!!!

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Old 09-11-2015, 08:11 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by jwkde View Post
DW and I are away for a few days and staying at resort/hotel on the eastern shore of Maryland.

Yesterday on our way out we passed by one of the meeting rooms, and there were about 25 people sitting in there staring at some Powerpoint slide and they all looked like they were about to fall asleep as the speaker droned on.

Later that evening they were having a group dinner and you could hear them using all those wonderful MegaCorp buzzwords like strategy and 'relationship selling'. I said to DW, I wonder how long before someone says "mission statement"

Well about 15 minutes later someone mentions the new mission statement. DW almost spit her drink out.

Oh how I do NOT miss those days!!!
I now take pleasure when I hear those keywords. Yes, it's not nice..I get it, but I'm just thrilled that I never have to listen to them and 'take them to heart'.

If you want a good kick, go find Weird Al Yankovich singing 'Mission Statement'...but only if you're retired.

Sent from my mobile device so please excuse grammatical errors.
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Old 09-11-2015, 08:27 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by jwkde View Post
DW and I are away for a few days and staying at resort/hotel on the eastern shore of Maryland.
Welcome to the area. Look westward across the bay just north of the Rt. 90 bridge. That's me waving at you from my backyard.

Quote:
Later that evening they were having a group dinner and you could hear them using all those wonderful MegaCorp buzzwords like strategy and 'relationship selling'. I said to DW, I wonder how long before someone says "mission statement"

Well about 15 minutes later someone mentions the new mission statement. DW almost spit her drink out.

Oh how I do NOT miss those days!!!
You should print off a bunch of these and leave them in the meeting room.
Attached Images
File Type: png buzzword bingo.png (86.7 KB, 40 views)
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Old 09-12-2015, 05:23 AM   #7
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The only person I can think of that probably really appreciated all the mega corp buzz words/phrases was Scott Adams. It gave him a lot of material for his Dilbert comic strip. So many of his cartoons were so timely and spot on, I often wondered if he worked at my mega corp. (He didn't)
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Old 09-12-2015, 12:51 PM   #8
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Yesterday was just like this for me. The train got into Denver about 7:30am. I had to take light rail out and meet a friend that was giving me a ride home. Yes, I was tired from my trip and lugging the suitcase but looking at all of the worker-bees heading to their worker-bee cubes just looked so pathetic. I wonder what kind of worker-bee buzz words they had to go listen to for the day!
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Old 09-12-2015, 12:58 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by jwkde View Post
DW and I are away for a few days and staying at resort/hotel on the eastern shore of Maryland.

Yesterday on our way out we passed by one of the meeting rooms, and there were about 25 people sitting in there staring at some Powerpoint slide and they all looked like they were about to fall asleep as the speaker droned on.

Later that evening they were having a group dinner and you could hear them using all those wonderful MegaCorp buzzwords like strategy and 'relationship selling'. I said to DW, I wonder how long before someone says "mission statement"

Well about 15 minutes later someone mentions the new mission statement. DW almost spit her drink out.

Oh how I do NOT miss those days!!!

I get the shivers just reading about it. Oh what I used to do for money!


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Old 09-12-2015, 01:41 PM   #10
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Yeah, I laugh when I pass by meeting rooms full of people staring at PPT presentations when I'm in hotels now. I'm also reading about the local United Way campaign kickoff and I'm SO happy I don't have to feign enthusiasm anymore. (DH and I donate generously to charities, some of whom are also United Way charities, but prefer to avoid United Way.


Monday I'm going to a luncheon of our local CPCU (Chartered Property and Casualty Underwriter) Society chapter. It's at a former employer where I still have contacts, the speaker subject interest me and it's only $20. I want to see how it feels to be among the Corporates for a couple of hours. I'm entitled to go to actuarial meetings with no registration fee and they're 2.5-day meetings in some darn nice places, but I'm not sure if I want to get that engrossed in a part of my life that's mostly behind me. I'm trying lunch first!
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Old 09-12-2015, 01:46 PM   #11
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Originally Posted by FlyBoy5 View Post
I now take pleasure when I hear those keywords. Yes, it's not nice..I get it, but I'm just thrilled that I never have to listen to them and 'take them to heart'.

If you want a good kick, go find Weird Al Yankovich singing 'Mission Statement'...but only if you're retired.

Sent from my mobile device so please excuse grammatical errors.

I've seen Weird Al's video and it's hilarious. I took a lot of leadership training in the 90s, and the buzzwords were fewer then. Now leadership stuff is a useless industry in itself. Complete waste of time and resources.

At the end of 2013 our megamedical Corp inserted a new medical director who had just finished his MBA and was filled with the jargon. (He's a nice guy and has since seen the light, and has since reverted to speaking English instead of corporate mumbo jumbo.

Anyway, his first project was creating self scheduling. So we had this gigantic meeting and he had built two whiteboard calendars with Velcro pieces and color coded physician time slots. It took 10 people two 3 hour meetings to do one month of scheduling. That's 60 hours of our total time to do the schedule.

After the second meeting I suggested we could do the same thing with Google calendar and texting each other when it was our turn to pick workdays.

That worked very well, and took about 10 minutes per person on any computer or smart phone to create our schedule. Too bad I didn't have my MBA. I could have done his job and tripled my salary.

In the six months after I quit full time work there, half the group quit. All this corporate organizational stuff does more harm than good.


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Old 09-12-2015, 02:04 PM   #12
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Funny comic on corporate buzz words.
Adventures of Action Item... Professional Superhero
The Adventures of ACTION ITEM!
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Old 09-12-2015, 03:43 PM   #13
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Originally Posted by jwkde View Post
DW and I are away for a few days and staying at resort/hotel on the eastern shore of Maryland.

Yesterday on our way out we passed by one of the meeting rooms, and there were about 25 people sitting in there staring at some Powerpoint slide and they all looked like they were about to fall asleep as the speaker droned on.

Later that evening they were having a group dinner and you could hear them using all those wonderful MegaCorp buzzwords like strategy and 'relationship selling'. I said to DW, I wonder how long before someone says "mission statement"

Well about 15 minutes later someone mentions the new mission statement. DW almost spit her drink out.

Oh how I do NOT miss those days!!!
Hmmm. Now that Shuttle is done those 'other guys' are back at the old rocket plant welding a vertical stack just like Saturn.

Were I 40 - 45 years younger would love to Space X but:

heh heh heh - Unfortunately it's in California and after you've been to Kansas City it just doesn't cut it.
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Old 09-12-2015, 04:14 PM   #14
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Funny comic on corporate buzz words.
Adventures of Action Item... Professional Superhero
The Adventures of ACTION ITEM!
Thanks for sharing - that's hysterical! Half the buzzwords in it are lifted directly from the annual performance review silliness a few weeks ago. {groan}

I'm going to print it out and keep it in my drawer at w#rk, for those days when I need a good laugh. AKA: every day.
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Old 09-13-2015, 10:55 AM   #15
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Monday I'm going to a luncheon of our local CPCU (Chartered Property and Casualty Underwriter) Society chapter.
Sorry for the off-topic post, just wanted to jump in & say hi from another CPCU. I have been wondering if any of my fellow insurance people were among the ranks of the er forums.
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