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Retired - Finding a Purpose for your life
Old 06-04-2008, 10:16 AM   #1
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Retired - Finding a Purpose for your life

I met a retired guy in his early 60s this week while golfing. He had been so for about a year....He was having trouble making the adjustment. What really stuck was him saying that he was having a hard time getting up every day and finding a purpose for his life. He didn't know what to do with all the time on his hands. He had gotten a small part time delivery job. Tried to buck him up some and gave some suggestions like taking classes and assured him that golf was a worthy obsession use of his time - also thought about turning him on to the forum. I've had my moments but I think I've coped pretty well - probably telecommuting the last 3 years before cutting looses helped and having high school kids at home the first few years to herd did too.

For me there is no shortage of nothing to do all day - as some of you know I'm happy to say I usually only get half of it done.

Like to know your experience.
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Old 06-04-2008, 10:29 AM   #2
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Danny, haven't we already beaten this subject to death gone down this well-worn path many times?

(FAQ archive) But... what will I do all day?
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Old 06-04-2008, 10:45 AM   #3
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Danny, haven't we already beaten this subject to death gone down this well-worn path many times?

(FAQ archive) But... what will I do all day?
oops sorry! should have remembered we have just about covered every nook and cranny by now
trying to live in the moment - I forget what I did in the previous ones...
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Old 06-04-2008, 10:59 AM   #4
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though i've always known the purpose of life is nothing more than the purpose you give it, i struggle now for the first time in my life. i can't blame my loss of a sense of purpose on not working because i never felt that was much of a purpose for me. as i never found my vocation, work just paid the bills. driving deliveries part time would not impart upon me a sense of purpose.

it happens that i experienced a lot of real loss (deaths) at the time i retired and clearly to me that is where my sense of loss of purpose derives, especially concerning my mother for whom i was guardian for so many years.

compounding that chasm, the travel i thought i'd be doing in retirement to take my mind off my losses & to expand my experience has been delayed by the bubble burst into which i retired. i can't even get rid of the inherited house. finally it is rented. but for the past three months or more i've had to go there a few times a week to show the place. each time it was like visiting my mother's grave, adding to my sense of loss and particularly to my loss of purpose. tasks alone not only do not offer purpose but they can sap the sense of purpose from you.

so to find a sense of purpose, i would not look simply at what i was doing. i am looking elsewhere.
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Old 06-04-2008, 11:02 AM   #5
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oops sorry! should have remembered we have just about covered every nook and cranny by now
trying to live in the moment - I forget what I did in the previous ones...
And the second thing to go is...
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Old 06-04-2008, 11:13 AM   #6
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And the second thing to go is...
your special purpose... (remember Steve Martin in "The Jerk"?)
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Old 06-04-2008, 11:19 AM   #7
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And the second thing to go is...

the knees?.....I can't remember - maybe
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Old 06-04-2008, 12:17 PM   #8
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Even though "we've gone down this path before", looking back over the last year (retired May 1st '07) I must admit it took me a good 9 months to become "comfortable" with retirement.

I consider that a long time for a person like me (anal, structured, a pain in the a** ) and after many years of "planning for retirement" I will admit that it took me that long to "get my legs". I planned on spending my time in volunteer work; however not all the "opportunities" worked out.

Some folks "hit the bricks" with no problem. Some others (like me) take a bit of time before they "find their niche".

With time comes wisdom. With wisdom comes contentment.

- Ron
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Old 06-04-2008, 12:46 PM   #9
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...
it happens that i experienced a lot of real loss (deaths) at the time i retired and clearly to me that is where my sense of loss of purpose derives, especially concerning my mother for whom i was guardian for so many years.

compounding that chasm, the travel i thought i'd be doing in retirement to take my mind off my losses & to expand my experience has been delayed by the bubble burst into which i retired....

Lazy, you are "travelling." The photos you show us of your nearby travels are as good as any in the world, boats! tree frogs!. I think we need to feel our grief before moving on. Thanks for sharing your experiences with us.
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Old 06-04-2008, 01:26 PM   #10
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Do people without a purpose not have a house and yard and self to maintain?
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Old 06-04-2008, 01:44 PM   #11
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Do people without a purpose not have a house and yard and self to maintain?
He had sold the house a year ago and moved into a condo half the size. Said he was finally getting used to it.

Having our house and land to maintain does keep us busy and very occupied especially between May - October. This morning I worked on the stream and pond I built 2 years ago in the back - some varmint came for a drink and fell into the pond knocking over the Buddha statue in the process and while swimming to get out knocked the tubing off the water pump and see the little creek ran dry...and well the birds and squirrels were complaining that they couldn't get a drink and a bath....I felt like I owed it to them...there's a chance there maybe a porpoise out there waiting for me some day.
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Old 06-04-2008, 04:51 PM   #12
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Lazy, you are "travelling." The photos you show us of your nearby travels are as good as any in the world, boats! tree frogs!. I think we need to feel our grief before moving on. Thanks for sharing your experiences with us.
Yeah, ditto from me. I don't comment on each photo spread but I am enjoying them. I'm ready to come out if I can live in some of those Tampa houses. Keep traveling and reporting.
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Old 06-04-2008, 04:55 PM   #13
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...there's a chance there maybe a porpoise out there waiting for me some day.
Better hope it isn't a shark in porpoise clothing.
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Old 06-04-2008, 05:32 PM   #14
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Danny, haven't we already beaten this subject to death gone down this well-worn path many times?

(FAQ archive) But... what will I do all day?
I think we can never really talk too much about this subject. Sort of like watching the Seinfeld reruns, by the time you get through them you've forgotten the first one. So it just becomes one continuous running loop. Anyway I'm always up for people's imaginative explanations for the purpose of life. Can always add another activity and bump off the least fun one.
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Old 06-04-2008, 05:45 PM   #15
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Sort of like watching the Seinfeld reruns, by the time you get through them you've forgotten the first one. So it just becomes one continuous running loop.
I thought I was providing a public service by pointing out where you can find the boxed set of DVD's.
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Old 06-04-2008, 05:56 PM   #16
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I think we can never really talk too much about this subject. Sort of like watching the Seinfeld reruns, by the time you get through them you've forgotten the first one. So it just becomes one continuous running loop. Anyway I'm always up for people's imaginative explanations for the purpose of life. Can always add another activity and bump off the least fun one.
To torture this analogy a little further, we'll have to check back with you in a couple years when you've had a chance to watch the rerun 10 or 12 more times...
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Old 06-04-2008, 06:08 PM   #17
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To torture this analogy a little further, we'll have to check back with you in a couple years when you've had a chance to watch the rerun 10 or 12 more times...
By then my memory will be getting even shorter . DW and I often get through the first 15 minutes of Seinfeld before one of us figures we've seen it before. In a few years that will be up to 30 minutes -- game over.
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Old 06-04-2008, 06:35 PM   #18
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By then my memory will be getting even shorter . DW and I often get through the first 15 minutes of Seinfeld before one of us figures we've seen it before. In a few years that will be up to 30 minutes -- game over.
It "depends" on when I took a bathroom break while watching it the last time, and if this is my year to go without t.p., Not! Having a good memory is over rated?
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Old 06-04-2008, 06:41 PM   #19
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By then my memory will be getting even shorter . DW and I often get through the first 15 minutes of Seinfeld before one of us figures we've seen it before. In a few years that will be up to 30 minutes -- game over.
DW and I have done the same thing, thanks for letting us know we're not the only ones...
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Old 06-04-2008, 06:54 PM   #20
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I think we can never really talk too much about this subject. Sort of like watching the Seinfeld reruns, by the time you get through them you've forgotten the first one. So it just becomes one continuous running loop. Anyway I'm always up for people's imaginative explanations for the purpose of life. Can always add another activity and bump off the least fun one.


I like your attitude! The forum needs more of that understanding attitude towards those with memory issues and those that have given up hope of ever understanding how to weed through the search function results on the forum.... :



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Better hope it isn't a shark in porpoise clothing.
Thanks wahoo I'll be on the lookout for sharks in drag...I just had a moment of memory clarity - the SNL Land Shark skits (dolphin impersonation at the end)
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