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Old 08-29-2016, 08:12 PM   #21
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One thing I've learned is that you have to be active about planning what your retirement will look like. Otherwise you'll just drift into doing what comes easiest (e.g., sitting around watching TV in your boxers all day). Maybe the people you're seeing are the men and women who never thought about what they wanted their retirement life to look like, and they're just sort of adrift without the identity they had from a job. I think that's how any retired person could end up, if they don't actively plan what they want their life to be like.
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Old 08-29-2016, 08:36 PM   #22
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Haven't been to either. Sorry. I look to go out where more active people are.
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Old 08-29-2016, 08:48 PM   #23
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You may be mistaking sad and miserable with resting b face transposed onto old people. Seriously, very few of us are getting prettier with age, and if you're just sitting around reading a magazine or whatever your face isn't going to be animated and smiley. I think the psychobabble word I'm looking for is "projection".

I agree... seems OP is thinking that this is all these people do... day after day... every day... but unless he has been going there and seeing the same people over and over, there is no way he can know...

Also, I have a sister who loves to go to the mall... if someone is going shopping she wants to tag along... as she says, it is great spending someone else's money.... (spending for what they want, not for my sister)...
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Old 08-29-2016, 09:13 PM   #24
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I think the OP has been going to the wrong places if he desires companionship with new friends or whatever. As an example:

Usually, each morning, I go to the local Burger King and spend an hour or so with the regular group of retired guys that are there. Some of these fellows have been making this a routine stop for several years. These are not homeless people or people who have nothing better to do with their time. Here is a short list of the usual attendees:

Rob G. - owns six fast food outlets, 65, not fully retired but really he is. Loves to fish the Gulf and Colorado streams. Has a hunting lodge we can use.

Will S - Prior Executive VP of HR at Anadarko, retired 10 years @ 60.

Bill M. - retired Civil Engineer. Oldest of the group.

Emil F. - Owned an insurance agency. Military Vet, served in Viet Nam and the Gulf War. Still flys helicopters. Retired.

Ed K - Retired Postal Carrier - 8 years retired.

Tommy K - Ex CEO of BJ Services - plays a lot of golf at 70. Retired 10 years.

ME - well, I'm the Newbie. Haha.

We have coffee and chat daily. Some of us actually do things together and include spouses. It's not bad and it's a good way to start the day, if you are so inclined to meet new people and take a chance.
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Old 08-29-2016, 09:56 PM   #25
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In 7 months of retirement, I can't say I have ever noticed what other retirees are doing or where they are hanging out. I agree AC may be the answer.
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Old 08-29-2016, 10:23 PM   #26
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I guess if I had to work until I was 65-70, I'd probably be sad too, knowing the best years of my life were gone. My dad retired at 48, I've never heard him say, I wished I'd worked longer.
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Old 08-30-2016, 09:14 AM   #27
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...sitting around watching TV in your boxers all day...

Uh oh...

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BJ Services...

Sounds like a real moneymaker...
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Old 08-30-2016, 09:41 AM   #28
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I'll be going to the library this afternoon to tutor an immigrant in English for a couple of hours. I might hang around for a while afterwards to catch up on a few magazines that I don't want to spend the money to subscribe to but which I enjoy.

I personally hate malls but I know a lot of retired folks go there to do walking laps (cooler in summer, warmer in winter) and then hang around afterwards to have a coffee and a donut.

If you really want to get depressed about (some) retired people, go to a bar mid-afternoon and see the people getting an early start on happy hour. There's nothing happy about them and they'd probably be a lot better off at the library or mall.
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Old 08-30-2016, 10:49 AM   #29
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Since I was forced to retire due to an employment termination and lack of job opportunities for folks like me, I have been out and about visiting places I never spent any time in when I was working 12 hours a day.

Two of those places is the library and the large regional shopping center near my home.

At the mall there is always the same tired old group of senior citizens sitting in the middle area waiting for the day to end. (Killing time). They look so miserable and for some reason are not open to socializing with me or each other.

At the library, there is also a sad looking group of folks hanging out next to the newspapers and magazines. Libraries can be great if they are a once in a while activity, not someplace to go every day just to kill time.

As I sit in the mall, and look at these sad people I wonder what they may have been in their working life before society and the corporate employers sent them packing. Maybe a bank Vice President, A Lawyer, a Public Relations Executive, a HR Manager. Who knows. But this week they are just killing time.
Wow, you have a great imagination! You should write a short story using the characters you have created.
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Old 08-30-2016, 11:06 AM   #30
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BTW, I haven't been to the mall for months, and when I go to the library it's to get books, not hang out there.
What! No Overdrive in WV?

Went to the mall across the street because it had been renovated. Best Buy is at the far end. Did not enter any store except Best Buy to exit the mall.

Forced to retire and projection are good hints.
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Old 08-30-2016, 11:09 AM   #31
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I personally hate malls but I know a lot of retired folks go there to do walking laps (cooler in summer, warmer in winter) and then hang around afterwards to have a coffee and a donut.
Having a donut after their walking laps.....Real fitness enthusiasts
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Old 08-30-2016, 11:17 AM   #32
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Having a donut after their walking laps.....Real fitness enthusiasts

Carbo loading!
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Old 08-30-2016, 11:22 AM   #33
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Several years ago I saw a article ( with pics) about " old sad grumpy mean"....old facial expressions. It showed a bunch of pics and medical diagrams and such to help make a point that the sad or grumpy or mean looks that so many old people ahem is actually nothing more than a natural physiological change in our appearance. To boil down a bunch of med-o-babble its simply that our facial muscles start to fail just like ALL human muscles age. The natural relaxed facial expression for most of us is a rather downturned mouth. A smile takes a conscious use of the muscles. As we age our skin sags and the muscles relax resulting in that old man frown.
Do NOT equate the so-called SAD and pathetic faces you see in the malls or the library for their state of mind.
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Old 08-30-2016, 11:24 AM   #34
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Having a donut after their walking laps.....Real fitness enthusiasts
Well, it's better than "instead of" walking laps.

I am among those who can't remember the last time they went to the mall. Around here the mall comes in two phases: pre-Christmas, when you can't find a parking spot, or the other 11 months when it's a ghost town. I don't like either version.

As for the OP, not sure what one expects to find at the mall and the library? Cocktail parties?
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Old 08-30-2016, 11:26 AM   #35
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How funny; I was thinking along the lines of "This sounds a lot like the intro to a noir detective movie." Then as the movie goes on, we find out how all these people are linked by past crimes and love affairs

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Wow, you have a great imagination! You should write a short story using the characters you have created.
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Old 08-30-2016, 12:06 PM   #36
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If you're in Lost Angeles, you might see one like myself not amused wondering why time and again in a library some woman finds it necessary to talk to her kid at the top of her lungs as if she were auditioning for something, why someone else is talking loudly on their cell phone as if "all the world's a stage" (spilling over into everyone else's space in the process), or why even the librarians are joking as if they were in a bar during happy hour.

Considering that less and less of the populations actually reads anymore, maybe those quietly reading in the library just want to be left alone to enjoy enriching their minds and the last thing on their mind is what they look like to others (actually, I personally only spend enough time there to cool down after the long leisurely stroll to the library to drop off and pick up new ((non-fiction) books).

Quote:
Americans are less likely to read on an average day than they were 10 years ago, according to a Demo Memo analysis of the American Time Use Survey.
Demo Memo

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What's behind these changes? The aging of the population is one factor. Others include the ongoing baby bust and a shift in leisure preferences from reading to surfing the internet.
As for killing time, it seems I have less time now than when I was working. I keep thinking I'm going to have to go back to work to find some time.
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Old 08-30-2016, 12:08 PM   #37
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Forced To Retire, I hope you don't think the folks here are beating up on you - though a few are probably giving you a kick in the fanny. Even if all you have perceived is correct (that there ARE a bunch of miserable old retirees out there) THEY are not YOU. You control your destiny. You have what you need to get on with your reward (retirement). If you still have needs (financial, emotional, social, etc) then it's time you went about meeting those needs with all the vigor you had when you were (excuse the term) w*rking. That is now your new j*b (sorry about that term, too.) Get on with your life and ENJOY!! Welcome to ER.
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Old 08-30-2016, 12:22 PM   #38
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Maybe you could try striking up a conversation on occasion and finding out more about others. Might make some new friends. Find out what they were thinking about you.
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Old 08-30-2016, 12:30 PM   #39
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LOL, I think I'll go to the Library and check out this book. never did read it.
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Old 08-30-2016, 03:27 PM   #40
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Carbo loading!
I work out at a gym that is located across the parking lot from a Dunkin' Donuts. Although I don't do it very often, I have been known to stop and replenish carbs that I may have depleted at the gym.
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