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Old 08-31-2016, 01:37 PM   #61
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Note to self: Get dressed up for this afternoon's walk to the library, smile the whole time, and talk to all the men. Prepare DH to come and get me when the library police put me in the Dewey Decimal Timeout Room for annoying all the men.
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Old 08-31-2016, 01:55 PM   #62
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Do some volunteer work for a cause you enjoy. You will meet like minded people and make some friends.
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Old 08-31-2016, 02:14 PM   #63
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I suggest that you stop going to the mall and library. There, you don't have to worry about those sad looking people anymore. Out of sight, out of mind.

Furthermore, if you aren't at the mall or library, you won't have to worry about turning into one of those sad persons at the mall or library.
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Old 08-31-2016, 02:21 PM   #64
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No, they just don't see anything about you (a stranger) that interests them. People don't welcome approaches from strangers in malls and similar places.
As a rule, strangers who come up to you and start talking are after something.

Possibly, if you were young and attractive, they'd talk to you because that would constitute a form of entertainment.
That is what I was thinking, and that possibly they thought he was looking for a handout, since I'm pretty sure he didn't dress up at all.
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Old 08-31-2016, 02:56 PM   #65
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Plus, you need DH to step in if some of the men get interested instead of annoyed!

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Note to self: Get dressed up for this afternoon's walk to the library, smile the whole time, and talk to all the men. Prepare DH to come and get me when the library police put me in the Dewey Decimal Timeout Room for annoying all the men.
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Old 08-31-2016, 04:04 PM   #66
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Several years ago I saw a article ( with pics) about " old sad grumpy mean"....old facial expressions. It showed a bunch of pics and medical diagrams and such to help make a point that the sad or grumpy or mean looks that so many old people ahem is actually nothing more than a natural physiological change in our appearance. To boil down a bunch of med-o-babble its simply that our facial muscles start to fail just like ALL human muscles age. The natural relaxed facial expression for most of us is a rather downturned mouth. .
Yeah, my mom told me about this long time ago, that she makes a conscious effort to put a smile on her face, or else she looks grumpy.
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Old 08-31-2016, 04:22 PM   #67
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Plus, you need DH to step in if some of the men get interested instead of annoyed!
He would be so amazed if I chatted with them in the first place he would probably enjoy my discomfort should one be interested!
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Old 08-31-2016, 07:32 PM   #68
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The OP can join a Pickelball league.
Wow Brian Williams! And pickleball in Florida. What ever happened to lawn bowling?
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Old 08-31-2016, 11:10 PM   #69
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Don't hang out in those places if u think people are depressing. Go to the beach or swimming pool instead and hang out with the young chicks in two-piece bikinis or thongs. I'd rather talk to them LOL


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Old 09-01-2016, 04:14 AM   #70
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Sorry, but the two species do not mingle well. Back when I was one of those "young chicks" you describe, the approach of a 61-year-old man with an eccentric, outspoken personality caused us to do a rapid fade. And wouldn't you know, those men really do approach, with their clip-on sunglasses, bellies, hairy shoulders, and SE grins [the last was my late Dad's phrase].

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Don't hang out in those places if u think people are depressing. Go to the beach or swimming pool instead and hang out with the young chicks in two-piece bikinis or thongs. I'd rather talk to them LOL


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Old 09-01-2016, 05:55 AM   #71
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Maybe this story is not pertinent, but it caused me to think of this thread. I retired in March and have been spending a lot more time at my local municipal golf course. When I worked, I would go there at lunch time and chip and putt on the practice green and would occasionally see another guy "about my age", dressed for business, doing the same thing. Yesterday afternoon I was practicing my chipping and putting and I see this same guy in golf clothes getting ready to go out the first tee alone, so I asked him if he wanted any company. He said "sure". So we played (walking) 9 holes. He had just retired also, and I guessed his age at 60, 2 years younger than I. Eventually we got to the subject of age, and it turned out he was 72, TEN years older than I.
We had a very nice 2 hours, talked about many things other than golf. I now have a new golfing friend. Which is why golf courses are much better places than malls. I guess that's my point.
Carry on.
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Old 09-01-2016, 06:05 AM   #72
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Do some volunteer work for a cause you enjoy. You will meet like minded people and make some friends.

I agree with this. I've started volunteering with the Red Cross and am very impressed with the retirees I've met in just the short time I've been there. Very active--a few from our chapter have been on multiple deployments already this year, and have energy to spare!
I'm focused on disaster relief, but there really is something for everyone in organizations like the Red Cross. And it is humbling to help those who are far less fortunate than many of us.
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Old 09-01-2016, 08:49 AM   #73
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Don't hang out in those places if u think people are depressing. Go to the beach or swimming pool instead and hang out with the young chicks in two-piece bikinis or thongs. I'd rather talk to them LOL


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Sorry, but the two species do not mingle well. Back when I was one of those "young chicks" you describe, the approach of a 61-year-old man with an eccentric, outspoken personality caused us to do a rapid fade. And wouldn't you know, those men really do approach, with their clip-on sunglasses, bellies, hairy shoulders, and SE grins [the last was my late Dad's phrase].

Yeah, the next conversation usually involves the police... 😜
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Old 09-01-2016, 08:53 AM   #74
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Don't hang out in those places if u think people are depressing. Go to the beach or swimming pool instead and hang out with the young chicks in two-piece bikinis or thongs. I'd rather talk to them LOL
I tried that...and discovered the answer to the question "To whom are you not talking?"......it was ME!
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Old 09-01-2016, 08:56 AM   #75
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I used to go to NYC to be alone. You could walk around forever in a crowd being entertained and totally alone without any demand other than not bumping into other walkers enjoying being alone in a crowd. I have never known more enjoyable solitude than in NYC. Perhaps a mall is a small taste of the big Apple to some people.
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Old 09-01-2016, 09:18 AM   #76
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Don't hang out in those places if u think people are depressing. Go to the beach or swimming pool instead and hang out with the young chicks in two-piece bikinis or thongs. I'd rather talk to them LOL
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Sorry, but the two species do not mingle well. Back when I was one of those "young chicks" you describe, the approach of a 61-year-old man with an eccentric, outspoken personality caused us to do a rapid fade. And wouldn't you know, those men really do approach, with their clip-on sunglasses, bellies, hairy shoulders, and SE grins [the last was my late Dad's phrase].
Plus, even if they will talk to you it isn't much of an interesting conversation. Young people "know" everything, most of it wrong. There's very little common ground for conversation. I recommend just sitting on a bench or a beach chair and looking. From behind sunglasses. They keep things peaceful when DW is with me.
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Old 09-01-2016, 10:24 AM   #77
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If you want somewhere to pass time and walk around, but in a more uplifting atmosphere, check out your county parks. Chances are several within driving distance, with walking trails, bike trails, plenty to see and do, outside and far healthier.

In VA (where OP is) should be quite seasonal the next couple of months.

I don't think I've been to the mall but once this summer, but I've walked several nature trails.
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Old 09-01-2016, 02:43 PM   #78
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Hanging out in the library sounds good to me. Libraries are one of my favorite places. I love to just roam the stacks of a good library.
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Old 09-01-2016, 03:17 PM   #79
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I think it is good that the OP stimulated such a wide-ranging discussion about dealing with being retired. Just today I gave my seat on the bus to a person in need of it. The driver asked how old I was. When I told him, he insisted on finding a seat for me.

I will never do that again! I can stand (even with his driving!) and my tendons are getting better every day. I am back to walking, cycling and pickleball. Looking for partners in extreme Bocce...
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Old 09-01-2016, 06:11 PM   #80
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... I recommend just sitting on a bench or a beach chair and looking. From behind sunglasses. They keep things peaceful when DW is with me.


Eh, we have not been to a mall in a very long time, but I thought that one would only run into the trouble you describe when at a beach, not a mall that old and sad retirees frequent.


PS. Oops, you did say "beach chair". And I also recall that your 2nd home is in a beach city. Now, that explains it.
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