Retired Folks hanging out at the Shopping Mall and the Library seem sad!

[Forced to Retire]

Since I was forced to retire due to an employment termination and lack of job opportunities for folks like me, I have been out and about visiting places I never spent any time in when I was working 12 hours a day.

Two of those places is the library and the large regional shopping center near my home.

At the mall there is always the same tired old group of senior citizens sitting in the middle area waiting for the day to end. (Killing time). They look so miserable and for some reason are not open to socializing with me or each other.

At the library, there is also a sad looking group of folks hanging out next to the newspapers and magazines. Libraries can be great if they are a once in a while activity, not someplace to go every day just to kill time.

As I sit in the mall, and look at these sad people I wonder what they may have been in their working life before society and the corporate employers sent them packing. Maybe a bank Vice President, A Lawyer, a Public Relations Executive, a HR Manager. Who knows. But this week they are just killing time.

 

[marko]

Respectfully, if you're newly retired, I think you're hanging out in the wrong places, looking at the wrong set of retirees.

 

[RobbieB]

Hot outside and maybe they don't have AC at home?

 

[ExFlyBoy5]

Respectfully, if you're newly retired, I think you're hanging out in the wrong places, looking at the wrong set of retirees.

No doubt.

I think from the OP's statement and the earlier posting, he's not very happy with his "station in life". I know far many more retirees that are happy than are sad. AND...I bet if I went to *any* cube farm within 100 miles of my home, I would see a very few of them smiling and having a good time.

I would think about the things YOU enjoy doing and focus on that. Or perhaps something you have thought about for a long time but weren't during your 12 hour w*rk days. You now (whether you like it or not) are [-]free[/-] FREE to do what YOU WANT. Personally, I can't think of a worst place to "hang out" than ANY kind of shopping area. There are WAY too many other places to go. You are in Virginia, right? I bet within an hour's drive you have many nice parks in which you could visit and just enjoy the peace and quiet and perhaps start putting things in perspective. You may very well not ever work again, so it's time to buckle down and figure things out.

 

[Walt34]

Respectfully, if you're newly retired, I think you're hanging out in the wrong places, looking at the wrong set of retirees.

Indeed. There are a lot of threads on the mental aspects of retirement; it's not all about the financials. It is a huge change in your life, and apparently in this case thrust upon the OP suddenly and involuntarily. This is not a good thing, and one that might be harder to adjust to than the sudden reduction in income.

But adjust to it you will, one way or another, because unless you find another similar-paying job (which seems unlikely at this point) you are where you are and will make do with the assets you have. If you can try to focus on how to make the outcome one that will increase your quality of life and make you happier, not on what you cannot do. Presumably you have reasonably good health, and you'll want to make efforts to retain that because without that things really start to get depressing.

BTW, I haven't been to the mall for months, and when I go to the library it's to get books, not hang out there.

 

[plex]

There are so many phrases that fit this situation. I will leave it with, there is a whole world out there, Carpe Diem.

 

[harley]

They look so miserable and for some reason are not open to socializing with me or each other.

At the library, there is also a sad looking group of folks hanging out next to the newspapers and magazines.

You may be mistaking sad and miserable with resting b face transposed onto old people. Seriously, very few of us are getting prettier with age, and if you're just sitting around reading a magazine or whatever your face isn't going to be animated and smiley. I think the psychobabble word I'm looking for is "projection".

 

[razztazz]

As I sit in the mall, and look at these sad people I wonder what they may have been in their working life before society and the corporate employers sent them packing. Maybe a bank Vice President, A Lawyer, a Public Relations Executive, a HR Manager. Who knows. But this week they are just killing time.

One thing many of them might have been in their working life was..... married to their jobs. It made them feel important/needed/useful/somebody. Now they's saaaaad. It's the down side of listening to one's parents

 

[John Galt III]

Not to be disrespectful or unkind to these sad folks, but it sounds like they are homeless and are spending their days wherever they are allowed to, especially if there is air conditioning. I don't think they are traditional "retired" people. My library has a cadre of homeless folks. Have spoken to one of them about it. Harmless, but they do look pretty beat, of course.

 

[gauss]

I think around here, many of the folks camped out at the computers in the library during working hours are actually not-so-computer-literate folk being forced to apply for jobs via the Internet.

I often overhear the reference librarian guiding them through the basics to this effect.

I became a bit concerned when one of these individuals was flailing around trying attach a transcript and teaching certificate.

-gauss

 

[haha]

Since I was forced to retire due to an employment termination and lack of job opportunities for folks like me, I have been out and about visiting places I never spent any time in when I was working 12 hours a day.

Two of those places is the library and the large regional shopping center near my home.

At the mall there is always the same tired old group of senior citizens sitting in the middle area waiting for the day to end. (Killing time). They look so miserable and for some reason are not open to socializing with me or each other.

At the library, there is also a sad looking group of folks hanging out next to the newspapers and magazines. Libraries can be great if they are a once in a while activity, not someplace to go every day just to kill time.

As I sit in the mall, and look at these sad people I wonder what they may have been in their working life before society and the corporate employers sent them packing. Maybe a bank Vice President, A Lawyer, a Public Relations Executive, a HR Manager. Who knows. But this week they are just killing time.

You seem to be trying to build a negative case not just for yourself but also other retired people.

Really, it is not easy to tell what others are thinking. You likely would do yourself a favor if you quit looking for what you believe to be failure examples and concentrate on improving your own life.

Ha

 

[LOL!]

I go to the library for the few hours that the maids are cleaning my house. I see people working in the library and studying. I also work in the library on some volunteer things that I do that require an internet connection and lots of letter writing. I like that I have set hours outside of home to do this otherwise it would get out of control.

I must say though that the people I see are all younger than me and they do not appear to be retired. Last time I saw a student nurse studying, someone else with an MCAT study guide cracked open, someone else with a spreadsheet on a laptop, and lots of high school students.

 

[Amethyst]

Then again, you may have seen the groups of old folks marching briskly around the mall while chatting, and the white-haired people contentedly browsing the library shelves for books to read or listen to, and movies to watch (One of those would be me...my hair is actually pretty gray under my hair color ).

Those are enjoyable activities, that cost very little.

And my gym is full of men and women in their 60's and 70's, busily exercising away, and occupying the very machine I wanted to use right then

Many gyms have reasonable membership fees.

Just some thoughts...Also, your sadder-looking seniors probably have their share of aches and pains and health worries and loved ones who have just died, and that is why they are unsmiling and not open to socializing.

Since I was forced to retire due to an employment termination and lack of job opportunities for folks like me, I have been out and about visiting places I never spent any time in when I was working 12 hours a day.

Two of those places is the library and the large regional shopping center near my home.

At the mall there is always the same tired old group of senior citizens sitting in the middle area waiting for the day to end. (Killing time). They look so miserable and for some reason are not open to socializing with me or each other.

At the library, there is also a sad looking group of folks hanging out next to the newspapers and magazines. Libraries can be great if they are a once in a while activity, not someplace to go every day just to kill time.

As I sit in the mall, and look at these sad people I wonder what they may have been in their working life before society and the corporate employers sent them packing. Maybe a bank Vice President, A Lawyer, a Public Relations Executive, a HR Manager. Who knows. But this week they are just killing time.

 

[FI by 2024]

You may be mistaking sad and miserable with resting b face transposed onto old people. Seriously, very few of us are getting prettier with age, and if you're just sitting around reading a magazine or whatever your face isn't going to be animated and smiley. I think the psychobabble word I'm looking for is "projection".

+1

Personally, spending time at the library everyday sounds AWESOME to me. But I definitely suffer from RBF and have been confronted on a number of occasions when people thought there was something seriously wrong...and I was just sitting there enjoying the peace! I love hanging out at the library. If somebody thinks I'm miserable for spending too much time at the library, well...that's their problem not mine.

 

[RunningBum]

One of my wish list items for a house was to be in walking distance of a library, so I could go and read the papers or magazines, and once in awhile browse the book shelves. Probably not every day, but a lot of days. It would seem like a nice routine. As far as socializing, I'll say hi to people but I'd guess I'd think of that as my own time, plus I'm used to things being quiet in a library, so I doubt I'd carry on much of a conversation. Never occurred to me that someone would think I am miserable, but yeah, that's not my problem at all.


Unfortunately living near a library is one wish I didn't get, but I still do this once in awhile when I come into town.

 

[W2R]

You seem to be trying to build a negative case not just for yourself but also other retired people.

Really, it is not easy to tell what others are thinking. You likely would do yourself a favor if you quit looking for what you believe to be failure examples and concentrate on improving your own life.

+1

I think Ha nailed it.

We live within easy walking distance of the biggest mall in New Orleans, and I haven't been there even once during 7 years of retirement. We're not trying to avoid it, but just haven't been inspired to go there. I have never been the type to hang out at a mall very much.

We DID go to the library, 3 times. Once to get a library card for each of us, that we use to download Kindle books. Twice more to get our cards renewed. I didn't see nearly as many old people there as teenagers doing homework, flirting with each other, etc. Still, I like our library and would go more often if I had the time.

The point is, that you do what YOU want to do in retirement. For us, it's the gym, and there are a lot of older people that go to our gym. We like that. It's fun to work out and chat with others in our generation. But hey, if that bothered us we'd go to one of the gyms that cater more to younger people.

There's no reason to be miserable, or to be desperate for friends or company after you retire. And, there's no reason to hang around only older folks if that is not what you want.

I haven't seen many sad looking seniors at all. But then, maybe that's because I live in New Orleans. I read somewhere that people here are happier than people elsewhere, although I have no idea if that is correct.

 

[bclover]

Wow, you may have mistaken the situation a bit.

My 85 year old mother in law LOVES the mall. first we live near King of Prussia mall which is one of the largest malls in America (shopping square footage) and has uber high end shops.
She is pretty active and she says she always meets other seniors there who chat, tons of available eats and coffee, mall walking keeps her joints moving and it's a safe environment.
It's free and changes all the time and mucho people "watching"

 

[Nemo2]

 

[Ready]

I think the OP is helping to illustrate what he meant by his "eccentric personality" from another thread.

I'm wondering if you might be depressed, and if that is clouding your view on everything right now. You mentioned that you feel like you are 70, when you are only 61. Now that you have some free time, can you find the time to get more exercise, and pay more attention to your diet? I never had much time to exercise when I worked full time. Now I exercise three hours a day, and it helps to replace my old work routine with a new routine.

You can always find sad, down on their luck people out there if you look for them. Or you can choose to find the ones that are loving life and try to learn something from them.

 

[brucethebroker]

One of my wish list items for a house was to be in walking distance of a library, so I could go and read the papers or magazines, and once in awhile browse the book shelves. Probably not every day, but a lot of days. It would seem like a nice routine. As far as socializing, I'll say hi to people but I'd guess I'd think of that as my own time, plus I'm used to things being quiet in a library, so I doubt I'd carry on much of a conversation. Never occurred to me that someone would think I am miserable, but yeah, that's not my problem at all.


Unfortunately living near a library is one wish I didn't get, but I still do this once in awhile when I come into town.

We did move within walking distance to the library-it's great. I also love to go browse around-read the papers, magazines, etc. But then again, I am the smiling guy, glad to be rid of the 9-5. Most likely did not notice me, but I am told the humming is annoying.....

 

[ER Eddie]

One thing I've learned is that you have to be active about planning what your retirement will look like. Otherwise you'll just drift into doing what comes easiest (e.g., sitting around watching TV in your boxers all day). Maybe the people you're seeing are the men and women who never thought about what they wanted their retirement life to look like, and they're just sort of adrift without the identity they had from a job. I think that's how any retired person could end up, if they don't actively plan what they want their life to be like.

 

[Bir48die]

Haven't been to either. Sorry. I look to go out where more active people are.

 

[Texas Proud]

You may be mistaking sad and miserable with resting b face transposed onto old people. Seriously, very few of us are getting prettier with age, and if you're just sitting around reading a magazine or whatever your face isn't going to be animated and smiley. I think the psychobabble word I'm looking for is "projection".

I agree... seems OP is thinking that this is all these people do... day after day... every day... but unless he has been going there and seeing the same people over and over, there is no way he can know...

Also, I have a sister who loves to go to the mall... if someone is going shopping she wants to tag along... as she says, it is great spending someone else's money.... (spending for what they want, not for my sister)...

 

[aja8888]

I think the OP has been going to the wrong places if he desires companionship with new friends or whatever. As an example:

Usually, each morning, I go to the local Burger King and spend an hour or so with the regular group of retired guys that are there. Some of these fellows have been making this a routine stop for several years. These are not homeless people or people who have nothing better to do with their time. Here is a short list of the usual attendees:

Rob G. - owns six fast food outlets, 65, not fully retired but really he is. Loves to fish the Gulf and Colorado streams. Has a hunting lodge we can use.

Will S - Prior Executive VP of HR at Anadarko, retired 10 years @ 60.

Bill M. - retired Civil Engineer. Oldest of the group.

Emil F. - Owned an insurance agency. Military Vet, served in Viet Nam and the Gulf War. Still flys helicopters. Retired.

Ed K - Retired Postal Carrier - 8 years retired.

Tommy K - Ex CEO of BJ Services - plays a lot of golf at 70. Retired 10 years.

ME - well, I'm the Newbie. Haha.

We have coffee and chat daily. Some of us actually do things together and include spouses. It's not bad and it's a good way to start the day, if you are so inclined to meet new people and take a chance.

 

[CountryGal]

In 7 months of retirement, I can't say I have ever noticed what other retirees are doing or where they are hanging out. I agree AC may be the answer.