Retired Males - How many of male friends do you have?

[dex]

Vote for 1 in each section

It has often been mentioned that one indicator of a happy retirement is the number of friends and acquaintances you have. Men tend to have fewer friends as they get older. I think this is one aspect of why men work after the need for money and other issues are satisfied. Men generally don't have the support network of friends outside of work to enrich their lives

So I am courious about the men who are retired and the number of male friends and acquaintances they have.

I am defining a friend as a person who you discuss personnel issues with; have common interest with and see regulary - at least once every two weeks - A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.

I am defining an acquaintance as you may have common interests with (e.g. hobby) but none of the other qualities of a friend.

Let's leave out your children and people who you interact with through the friendships intiated through your significant other for the purposes of this poll.

It is commonly thought that men have fewer close friends than women and this is one reason for men's emotional problems and possibly even a shorter life span than women.

To be fair - I am not retired - I would score myself as having 1 friend and 3-4 acquaintances.

 

[Outtahere]

Could you add a button for us women to vote in so we may see the results as they are tabulated. Thanks

 

[dex]

I'll duplicate this poll for women.

 

[MJ]

Any reason why you are specifying only male friends?

I would wanted it changed it to friends or a female friends counters as well.

MJ

 

[Martha]

Greg must be irritable today. He says: No friends! Even the dogs don't like me! I'm going back under the bed!

 

[HFWR]

Not retired...

So, since I didn't vote, I can't see the poll results.

 

[Martha]

Not retired...

So, since I didn't vote, I can't see the poll results.

Isn't there a "view results" button for you? When I look at how Dex set up the poll, he does allow anyone to view the results.

 

[HFWR]

Duh...

Thanks, Martha!!

 

[cute fuzzy bunny]

I'd bet its a real culture shock for people who retire early that arent married with kids or in a serious relationship.

I got to do it in three stages...i worked from home for several years before ER'ing, so I learned to maintain a social network without a job involved, and I had a serious girlfriend when I ER'ed.

If you couple the ER with moving to a new area on top of all of that, I'll bet its a lot to overcome.

 

[Nords]

Well, we quibble over all the other poll definitions, let's quibble over this one.

If you're talking people who would go surfing with me, sit on my back lanai drinking frosty beverages every week, solder copper piping on my roof, or go to PTA meetings with me... well then I have no friends.  Maybe that's what spouses are for.

If you're talking people who I see whenever they visit the island, who correspond via discussion boards or e-mails or even plain ol' phone calls at least weekly or even daily... I max out the poll.

It may seem that I'm a hermit with a broadband connection, but it's much easier to interact that way than to arrange a rendezvous, close up the house, get in the car, drive through the traffic, sit down together, and have to react in real time.  And if I get tired of dealing with the human race, all I have to do is walk away for an hour or two.

So while a lack of relationships could shorten a guy's lifespan, I think that paints the gender with a pretty broad brush.  I wonder how much of that longevity reduction is caused by the "Bubba Effect"-- as in "Hey, Bubba, hold my beer while I raise the voltage!"

 

[cute fuzzy bunny]

I can offer my definition...

A friend is someone you can call at 2am to come and bail you out of jail and they will.

An acquaintance is someone you can call at 5pm to drink a beer with you after work and they will.

 

[SC]

I wonder how much of that longevity reduction is caused by the "Bubba Effect"-- as in "Hey, Bubba, hold my beer while I raise the voltage!"

Lots, I bet. My last words are likely to be "Oops" (or more likely, "Oh #!$@") followed by a very loud noise. But I also bet Bubbas have more fun overall, so that's okay.

 

[yakers]

I'm a hermit with a broadband connection,

I love that line, I'm going to borrow it. Actually points to one facet of modern life, a lot of people are connected in genuine electronic communities. Don't know how to measure that one, not the same thing as a shared Corona, but sometimes quite valid. My wife was in a cancer survivors internet group that was as supportive and intimate as I can imagine. After a couple yeras they had a gathering in Palm Springs, people came from all over the US and the world. Not a club you want o be a member of but I remember at the time how deeply they all "knew" each other. I observed that it had the mental features of the instant intimacy and bonding that occurs in wartime foxholes (or other locations) where you get a quick reading of character and bonding. Anyway there are different kinds of friends.

And left out of the discussion of connectedness is extended family. I am away from my original turf (Chicago) If I were there my days would be filled with extended family events, birthdays, weddings, graduations, funerals and other events. I feel a mixed blessing being away or being there but definitely connected when there.

 

[Dogcliff]

Still living in anxious anticipation of ER, but as one who is easily entertained, I have a long history of reclusiveness.  No men friends (by your definition) since mid my 20's, but a workplace full of acquaintances.  Not too fearful of that looming loss...again, easily entertained, and with the gift of TIME (perhaps the most precious gift of all), hope to find some mediocre musician types to help me hone my pickin'.  Now, perfectly content to putter, enjoy the DW and adult children, and the (really cool) 16mo GD, while not squandering spending my time at work.

dc

 

[Martha]

It may seem that I'm a hermit with a broadband connection, but . . .

If you didn't watch John Stewart--comedy central last night, click on the clip for Trendspotting: Social Networking. http://www.comedycentral.com/shows/the_daily_show/videos/most_recent/index.jhtml

 

[Jeb-NY]

I can offer my definition...

A friend is someone you can call at 2am to come and bail you out of jail and they will.

An acquaintance is someone you can call at 5pm to drink a beer with you after work and they will.

I thought it was a friend is somebody you can call when you need help moving. A real friend is who you call when you need help moving the body.

Jeb

 

[cute fuzzy bunny]

An excellent qualifier on the level of friend.

 

[dex]

Why are female friends excluded from this poll?

The same question arose for the "female friends" poll. The reason I excluted significant others, children, females friends for males and males friends for females is primarity for simplicity. I've seen when polls that have too many variables get alot of comments and questions about the voting options. So far this has not happened to this poll. I'm surprised someone hasn't posted (seriously or in an attempt to be cleaver) "Hey I'm gay; how do I vote?"

I think the way the polls are worded will get to the object of the poll. What is the nature of the personal support for the those who are retired.

Let's see what the results tell us.

 

[dex]

Moderator question:
So far for this poll there are 27 answers for friends; 22 answers for aquentances and total votes of 30. Similar issue for the female question.

If people followed the instructions to vote only twice - once in friends section and once in aquentances area - How do we get these results?

Also, do we have spell check when posting?

 

[Nords]

If people followed the instructions...

That's pretty funny! One of the few constants on this board is the membership's refusal (more charitable than the phrase "congenital inability") to follow instructions. You've seen the EDS SuperBowl commercial on herding cats?

Also, do we have spell check when posting?

No. Best alternative is to compose our deathless prose in a word-processing program and spell-check it there before cutting & pasting to a post window.