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kfsinc · 08-13-2019, 09:46 PM

Got RIFed from BigSoftware in June. I'm 63 and was thinking 'one more year'...

They offered me the option of finding another position or a pretty good package.

I took the package.

FireCalc, and my financial advisor tell me I have the FI in FIRE under control. DW on the other hand can't understand why I'm not scrambling for another BigSoftware/Tech job. Frankly, after 50 years of working, 35 plus in high tech sales, my heart isn't in it anymore.

I just can't accept that I'm 'retired'. I keep going to the home office, looking for that e-mail that really needs my attention, or going to interviews for part time consulting jobs -- that don't excite me.

DW still works, at a very rewarding, but very low paying job -- thinking that we 'need' her benefits and income. We don't -- She's seen the numbers but can't let go. I don't begrudge her, but... The guilt trip is starting to get old (after two months).

I'm seriously considering finding a 'fun' job completely un-related to my past work experience, like selling boats or motorcycles - I own both.

Any suggestions on: Big career change and convincing DW that we can/should retire?

TIA for any advice.

rk911 · 08-13-2019, 10:11 PM

FIRE in '05 (me) and '06 (wife). she had been a school xing guard and i became one after i retired. not for the $, just for something to do. i was also a county election judge...again not for the $. i had always wanted to do that but couldn't due to my job. as of aug in 2018 we are both totally unemployed.

big-papa · 08-14-2019, 05:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kfsinc

Got RIFed from BigSoftware in June. I'm 63 and was thinking 'one more year'...

They offered me the option of finding another position or a pretty good package.

I took the package.

FireCalc, and my financial advisor tell me I have the FI in FIRE under control. DW on the other hand can't understand why I'm not scrambling for another BigSoftware/Tech job. Frankly, after 50 years of working, 35 plus in high tech sales, my heart isn't in it anymore.

I just can't accept that I'm 'retired'. I keep going to the home office, looking for that e-mail that really needs my attention, or going to interviews for part time consulting jobs -- that don't excite me.

DW still works, at a very rewarding, but very low paying job -- thinking that we 'need' her benefits and income. We don't -- She's seen the numbers but can't let go. I don't begrudge her, but... The guilt trip is starting to get old (after two months).

I'm seriously considering finding a 'fun' job completely un-related to my past work experience, like selling boats or motorcycles - I own both.

Any suggestions on: Big career change and convincing DW that we can/should retire?

TIA for any advice.

Similarly RIF'ed in my early 50's from a tech job. Took a while to find the next gig (~10 months), but everybody told me I looked the least stressed that they'd ever seen me. Doing the numbers at the time indicated we could have stopped there if we had to. But I still wanted to build up our portfolio a bit more and eventually found a new gig.

During that time, DW we pretty nervous. She'd also seen the numbers, but frankly, she never had as much interest in finances as I had. Even though she'd also been an engineer in the past, for whatever reason, she couldn't wrap her head around the work I'd done to show we were good. I now go over everything with her twice a year. Pretty sure her eyes still glaze over, but it did stress the need to fully document what I've done and the future plans I've made in the event that I pre-decease her.

Dtail · 08-14-2019, 05:45 AM

I would have a long talk with the DW. If you are FI at 63 y.o., it sounds like it is time to start the best part of your life.
I had 72 people reporting to me, when I volunteered for a package at 57 y.o.; never looked back.

tmm99 · 08-14-2019, 05:52 AM

Honestly, I cannot imagine ever going back to the 40-hour-a-week type of j*b at this point. Once you get used to having your own time, it's really hard to get back to the wo*k routine. I *retired* for 2 years, but I got so bored (I moved from the US to Canada at the same time and I had no social network where I moved to) so I decided to take a temp job for a few weeks to get out and socialize while w*rking, and even just getting up early to get ready felt like a torture. I wouldn't want to get a real j*b again unless I was running out of money or something. So in your situation, you should enjoy the time off, and see if it suits you since money isn't an issue.

Teacher Terry · 08-14-2019, 09:55 AM

At 63 you deserve to retire.

ivinsfan · 08-14-2019, 10:03 AM

Why is your DW bugging you about finding a job? Sometimes it's just about unexpected changes. ...Continue to do you what you want to do and decompress. Bring up the numbers every once in awhile and let the dust settle.

Pickup more of the housework and cooking and errand running and such.

dcoy · 08-14-2019, 10:05 AM

personally I think you should retire, you've put in alot of years and software sales is not easy. I too own a boat and considered that as a semi-retired job, could be fun if you were with the right crew. I am checking out FEMA jobs as a semi-retirement option. Meeting with the head of mobile emergency operations tomorrow to see what it entails. Its big wonderful world out there...lots of "fun" jobs and unlimited fun hobbies. Good luck!

MRG · 08-14-2019, 10:13 AM

I'm so much happier leaving my tech j*b. I was so confused I thought I was having fun, BS! It wasn't fun anymore just familiar.

I recently had my first w*rkmare after leaving 6 years ago. There I was with a VP screaming about the next change that went in sans change control would grounds for dismissal. No big deal just use the change control system. Only it didn't work most of the time! It was new, still under development and buggy. What could possibly go wrong? The insanity is the still there, I choose not to be insane with them.

kfsinc · 08-14-2019, 10:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dcoy

personally I think you should retire, you've put in alot of years and software sales is not easy. I too own a boat and considered that as a semi-retired job, could be fun if you were with the right crew. I am checking out FEMA jobs as a semi-retirement option. Meeting with the head of mobile emergency operations tomorrow to see what it entails. Its big wonderful world out there...lots of "fun" jobs and unlimited fun hobbies. Good luck!

FEMA?? Interesting! I'm aware of a guy on another forum that works FEMA, from his Motorhome. Very mobile, as needed/wanted. Probably a little too mobile for me, but very intriguing.

You're giving me the push to investigate out of the box options- thanks!

joeea · 08-14-2019, 10:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kfsinc

Big career change and convincing DW that we can/should retire?

Why do you say "we"?

Is there a reason you can't retire while your wife continues to work as long as she wants to?

When I retired, my wife continued working. Six months later I was asked to help out my former company. So I consulted with them on a 2 day, 16 hours per week basis. I did that for a year and really enjoyed it.

My wife waited four years before she decided to retire as well. She's still thinking of getting a part time job in the fall.

You don't need to do the same thing at the same time. You can each choose your own path.

Bir48die · 08-14-2019, 10:48 AM

At your age (mine for another couple weeks) I would not jump back in. I worked for a long time after my wife retired and it didn’t bug me a bit. If she likes working then more power to her. Just pick up some duties around the house to help her out. I can’t imagine starting to look for w@rk at this point

ExFlyBoy5 · 08-14-2019, 10:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Teacher Terry

At 63 you deserve to retire.

This x1000. If life is like a toilet paper roll...there *may not* be too many sheets left.

I'm sorry that I can't offer any advice. The freedom that comes with FULL RETIREMENT is something that I simply can't give up.

gwraigty · 08-14-2019, 10:51 AM

You shouldn't be made to feel guilty for not wanting to scramble to get another job at 63, when you were planning on retiring at 64.

**Aerides** · 08-14-2019, 11:25 AM

It kind of sounds as if your plans were never really discussed with your wife. I mean, one year early with some severance is nbd. You're FI, and at 63 the odds of a good bigtech job are low.

In our years up until ER, DH and I were looking at our progress and goals together every few months, and talking about when we'd ER, and what we'd do, on a regular basis.

I'm not sure how there's such a big disconnect here between you and your wife, but I think you need to keep talking with her. Going to work to avoid feeling guilty would be silly.

joeea · 08-14-2019, 11:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ExFlyBoy5

If life is like a toilet paper roll...there *may not* be too many sheets left.

Seems like a rather sh!tty view on life!

Spock · 08-14-2019, 11:41 AM

I know exactly what you're going through.
I was "resource actioned" at 55 from a very large IT company.
3 years later I still can't decide if I'm retired or unemployed.

For me, finding a job in tech without relocating is not going to happen. Plus I've found my ability to deal with BS had dramatically shrunk... So I guess I'm retired.

I want the numbers to work saying I'm retired, yet I can't bring myself to through out all the software manuals I've accumulated because "I might need them later". As if this or that book is going to be key to getting/keeping my next job.

I don't know how convincing or borderline your retirement math is, and if your spouse can understand whatever projections you've done vs. eyes glazing over during the conversation... but one possible way to steer the discussion with your spouse:
"If not now, when?"
"What are we waiting for?" "What needs to happen first?"