Retirement and moving away

[W2R]

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Originally Posted by HFWR Well, two-out-of-three ain't bad...

*Hot* and breathing and not a felon would be OK, too.

[Nords]

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Originally Posted by jambo101 Any one done the "move away after retirement" route then regretted the decision?

Seven years after they ER'd, my parents-in-law moved 5000 miles to be closer to their only grandkid while she grew up. Over six years later when she turned 14 they realized that she was grown up enough and they missed many things about their old stomping grounds.

While they were living in one of the world's most multicultural societies they made no effort to enjoy the local lifestyle, let alone fit in. Their retreat was replete with drama and chaos.

What we've personally learned from this saga was that it makes more sense to move as far away from some family as possible while staying in close touch with friends.* Our Navy friends are just now starting to settle into their retirement locations (some more so than others) so we spend a lot of our travel time visiting them.

You have to find a place that makes you happy, whether or not it has friends or family. Once you're happy then it's a lot easier to find new friends. If you're not happy then you'll never find any.

We find that living in Hawaii has gained us visiting friends we hardly even knew we had...

* We also learned that therapists are expensive and recovery takes a few years. All better now...

[Khan]

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Originally Posted by Nords Seven years after they ER'd, my parents-in-law moved 5000 miles to be closer to their only grandkid while she grew up. Over six years later when she turned 14 they realized that she was grown up enough and they missed many things about their old stomping grounds. While they were living in one of the world's most multicultural societies they made no effort to enjoy the local lifestyle, let alone fit in. Their retreat was replete with drama and chaos. What we've personally learned from this saga was that it makes more sense to move as far away from some family as possible while staying in close touch with friends.* Our Navy friends are just now starting to settle into their retirement locations (some more so than others) so we spend a lot of our travel time visiting them. You have to find a place that makes you happy, whether or not it has friends or family. Once you're happy then it's a lot easier to find new friends. If you're not happy then you'll never find any. We find that living in Hawaii has gained us visiting friends we hardly even knew we had... * We also learned that therapists are expensive and recovery takes a few years. All better now...

My parents wanted us to leave, and visit occasionally. In other venues, I have seen people complaining about their parents 'stalking' them after trying to move away.

I'm the last one to give advice, but maybe folks should do a reality check before moving to be near their offspring.

[Notmuchlonger]

I have lived in other places during my lifetime. So moving from here (California) I wont regret simply because of the cost issues. Family you can visit easily enough. In moving to an area with a better cost of living it will enable us to travel to other destinations easier.

Even if cost was not an issue I don't really care for California mainly its laws and political landscape.

[friar1610]

My "take-aways" from moving to a new location to retire are:
- If possible, pick a place you like that is close to family.
- But be sure you like the place enough to want to stay there if family moves away (which they did in our case.) We are still here and enjoying it.
- To meet people, be a joiner even if that is not a natural act for you. In particular, join organization where you either bring credentials/background which will allow you to be readily accepted OR join organizations that interest you enough that you're willing to volunteer to do some grunt work for a couple of years to show people how sincere you are. But don't let this stuff take over your life.

[Alan]

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Originally Posted by jambo101 I notice a lot of retirement dreams include moving away to some distant locale,sometimes tropical sometimes European and it got me wondering (uh oh)What about all the friends you've made over the years? i find in my case i really appreciate the social dynamics of doing stuff with all my friends,As i have family in Florida i now have time for extended stays down there but find myself doing everything alone and wishing i were back in Montreal hanging out with my buddies. Any one done the "move away after retirement" route then regretted the decision?

We plan to do the moving away thing but as you say it can be fraught with problems if not properly thought out, particulary with no exit strategy in mind. I have seen it work well and also seen it fail. In fact some friends of ours retired, bought a house on Hawaii and moved there 6 years ago. While they have no regrets and have enjoyed their tropical adventure they have missed the social interaction with friends and family and are now planning on moving back.

DW and I have moved quite a bit through our marriage and have always managed to make friends wherever we've lived. Joining a gym, refereeing soccer, doing evening classes always works for us. We always like to find a regular place to go to for breakfast on a Sunday morning and usually make casual friendships that may or may not develop into something outside of Sunday mornings.