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Old 12-03-2009, 10:53 AM   #1
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Retirement Answers

I got this in an email today. Thought it belonged here. Not all apply to early retirement, but enough do to make it worth posting.

AndThey Ask---Why I Like Retirement?

Question: How many days in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch .



Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.

Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done
..



Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer: The term comes with a 10% percent discount.


Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
Answer: Tied shoes.


Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.


Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
Answer: NUTS!


Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there .

Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer: Normal

Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: The never ending Coffee Break.

Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a retiree?
Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.

Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth .


Question: What do you do all week?
Answer: Monday to Friday; Nothing
Saturday & Sunday I rest.








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Old 12-03-2009, 12:46 PM   #2
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Sounds pretty much "spot on" to me...
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Old 12-03-2009, 01:01 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rustic23 View Post
ed]...

Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: The never ending Coffee Break.

....
Add a donut to that and you've covered all essential food categories for a balanced lifestyle.
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Old 12-03-2009, 02:15 PM   #4
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Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.

Well I just changed the furnace/AC filters; pretty much it for today. Think I'll take a nap.

t.r.
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Old 12-03-2009, 03:52 PM   #5
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The ones I can directly relate to, I like them! The ones I can't directly relate to (or even don't necessarily agree with), I like them too!
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Old 12-03-2009, 04:00 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TeeRuh View Post
Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.

Well I just changed the furnace/AC filters; pretty much it for today. Think I'll take a nap.

t.r.
Obviously I have much to learn about retirement! So far today I had lunch with Frank, got my yearly brake tag (= annual auto safety inspection), went grocery shopping, then hit the bank. Between the last two I managed to pass a large high school just as it was letting out, adding some extra driving time. High school kids are even more foolhardy drivers now than they were in the early 1960's. Then I put away the groceries and e-mailed Frank and I am doing laundry. Guess it's naptime for me by now, too.
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Old 12-03-2009, 04:10 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by W2R View Post
Obviously I have much to learn about retirement! So far today I had lunch with Frank, got my yearly brake tag (= annual auto safety inspection), went grocery shopping, then hit the bank. Between the last two I managed to pass a large high school just as it was letting out, adding some extra driving time. High school kids are even more foolhardy drivers now than they were in the early 1960's. Then I put away the groceries and e-mailed Frank and I am doing laundry. Guess it's naptime for me by now, too.
Quit doing so much stuff, keep it up and you will begin to pine for the working days again.........

I counted 7 things you did today, sounds like a week of work to me.......
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Old 12-03-2009, 04:17 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rustic23 View Post
I got this in an email today. Thought it belonged here. Not all apply to early retirement, but enough do to make it worth posting.

AndThey Ask---Why I Like Retirement?

Question: How many days in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday


Answer: What week is it again



Quote:
Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Quote:
Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch .


Anytime they damn well feel like it.........



Quote:
Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Quote:
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.


I don't change light bulbs, it saves me .00001% of my SWR each year........

Quote:
Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Quote:
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done ..


Thos darn kids are walking on my lawn again!!!



Quote:
Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
Quote:
Answer: The term comes with a 10% percent discount.


It allows them to say stuff like: "You kids don't know nuttin" to anyone under the age of 60"........

Quote:
Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
Quote:
Answer: Tied shoes.


Anything I can find besides a bathrobe......

Quote:
Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Quote:
Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.


You know what the price of copper is these days

Quote:
Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses to retire?
Quote:
Answer: NUTS!


Answer: LEVERAGED!!!!!!!!

Quote:
Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or garage?
Quote:
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will want to store stuff there .


Answer: Sounds too much like work, and heck, I spent ENOUGH of my precious time doing that!!

Quote:
Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Quote:
Answer: Normal


Answer: None of your business!!

Quote:
Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Quote:
Answer: The never ending Coffee Break.


Answer: Doing nothing at all and calling it a day's work......

Quote:
Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to
Quote:
school as a retiree?
Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.


Answer: You know more than the professor, and he/she gets embarassed about it.....feels good.......

Quote:
Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the people he used to work with?
Quote:
Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth .


he's trying to be nice.........

Quote:
Question: What do you do all week?
Quote:
Answer: Monday to Friday; Nothing
Saturday & Sunday I rest.


Answer: Whatever I want, whenever I want, and most times, nothing at all........











[/QUOTE]
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Old 12-03-2009, 05:22 PM   #9
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My week is 3 days long, Yersterday, Today and Tomorrow.
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Old 12-07-2009, 04:36 PM   #10
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Why I don't like retirement: I never get a day off!
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