Retirement communities change for Boomers

[Christine]

I've not noticed any obvious face lifts around here. Plenty of dyed hair though. That seems to start a lot earlier than age 55 from what I've seen.

But I miss the blue haired grannies from my youth. I think perhaps I should go blue when old enough.

 

[Amethyst]

When you are too old for trips, clothes, affairs, sports cars...all that is left to spend your $$ on, is a house.

Aolder widows and couples. They buy the biggest fanciest most expensive houses - so much for downsizing as one ages.

 

[aja8888]

We did look at Windsor Hills (EDIT - WRONG, we looked at Windsor Lakes). We loved the community, but we decided against it for a few reasons. Actually, I'd say it was more of a prolonged argument/discussion.

• Few three car garages. I do woodturning and I really need that extra space.

• Small lots.
• Location. It didn't feel like it's in a town, more like a subdivision on the highway.

Please, it's beautiful there. I don't want to be negative about your community. My wife is still bringing it up from time to time (usually when the neighbor kids are outside screaming). I'm not ready for it yet, maybe 10 years from now.

Windsor Lakes and Windsor Hills are two different communities. It's too bad you didn't look at the one we are in. Lots are bigger (most cases), but no three car garages, which you usually won't find in a 55 and over community. My garage is two car with a small area for a small workshop. Windsor Lakes is too close to the freeway for our liking also. Ours is tucked in against the WG Jones State Forest.

 

[aja8888]

When you are too old for trips, clothes, affairs, sports cars...all that is left to spend your $$ on, is a house.

And how old is that old? I'm over 70 and still spending on all that except big houses (never again) and affairs. Many of my neighbors are pretty active and older than me. Not all 55+ communities are full of people that can't live an active life.

 

[W2R]

Those gyms sound (and look) perfect! I'm intrigued - can anyone join, or do you have to have some kind of connection to the hospital, or be referred by a doctor on staff?

When I retire, I will be looking for a gym just like these, and there are several hospitals within a few miles of me. It has never occurred to me that they might be affiliated with a gym. I would love to find a gym such as you describe.

Sorry to take so long to answer! I got caught up in some real life leisure activities last night, oh well.

Anyway.... anyone can join my gym, but your doctor has to sign a permission slip. My doctor wants me to exercise and lose weight so he had no problem doing that. Also on the form they want you to say whether or not you have a number of health issues, including high BP which I have (although it is under control with medication). I lied and checked "no". I don't know what they would do if I hadn't and didn't want to find out.

Another great thing about this gym is that all the personal trainers and other employees have been highly trained at first aid and might even be EMT trained. When I passed out at the gym a couple of years ago (due to stupidly not cooling down after some vigorous cardio activity), within just a few seconds they were there doing all the right things, taking my BP and assessing my condition and so on. Being older I like this. With an older clientele such as they have, every now and then somebody has to be taken away by an ambulance and they deal with these situations very professionally.

Back when I was working, around 2000, I was looking for a gym and one of my co-workers said she was leaving this gym and going to another. Her reason was that people at this gym were old and fat, and didn't motivate her, and the gym with all the buff young guys was cheaper. As an old/fat person who is internally motivated and who isn't one bit interested in gym flirtations or flexing muscles at the opposite sex, her list of negatives sounded like big positives to me so I went there and joined.

I think this gym has been wonderful for me. It is huge, with two indoor Olympic sized pools, a big hottub, an indoor walking track, massage rooms, a steam room, lots of classes, and a huge weight lifting area with lots of cardio machines like treadmills and ellipticals at one end, and more. The only parts of it that I have used are the weight lifting area and the indoor track. It is located about a block from the hospital, surrounded by medical office buildings.

 

[harley]

Few three car garages. I do woodturning and I really need that extra space.

Small lots.

Same problem here. You need space and a bit of privacy to do woodworking. For us it's a compromise we'd have to make between our love of space and gardening vs. the convenience of other people taking care of stuff while we're in FL for the winter. Tempting, but can't pull the trigger yet. Too much sawdust yet to make.

 

[Amethyst]

It all depends on the person, I guess. The poster seemed (maybe unintentionally) a little critical of older women who buy larger houses instead of downsizing, and I posed a possible reason.

As a general rule, I am against making any behavior "mandatory" or "forbidden" to older people just because of their age number.

And how old is that old? I'm over 70 and still spending on all that except big houses (never again) and affairs. M.

 

[Moemg]

I think a lot of seniors have bigger houses for when the family visits .It is just not the DD anymore . It's the DD , SIL and grandchildren.

 

[Walt34]

Those gyms sound (and look) perfect! I'm intrigued - can anyone join, or do you have to have some kind of connection to the hospital, or be referred by a doctor on staff?

No, anyone can join, although they did check with our doctor to make sure there was no reason we should not join. The guy I worked with said they've never had a doc say "no" to someone exercising. It's called a "Wellness Center" I guess because of the hospital affiliation. Like W2R's, the staff all has some degree of physical fitness training and I think basic first aid.

Not a bad idea to call the hospitals near you and ask - it seems to be becoming more popular with the emphasis on maintaining health rather that focusing only on the things that go wrong.

 

[aja8888]

I think a lot of seniors have bigger houses for when the family visits .It is just not the DD anymore . It's the DD , SIL and grandchildren.

That can be a double edged sword though. BIL did just that and when he retired, he bought a large 4,500 sq foot house with 4 bedrooms, pool, etc. Beautiful place and the kids did show up with the grandkids a few years in a row. Then the visits slowed to a crawl and the kids had other priorities, other in-laws to visit and wanted to stay home for the holidays.

Of course, all along BIL is paying a large property tax bill, high utility bills, etc. And now they seem to be spending more time visiting the kids where they live. So now its 20 years later and BIL and his DW have an albatross hanging over their head as they don't want to sell and are getting too old to move and downsize. Plus, all three children live thousands of miles away.

 

[W2R]

That can be a double edged sword though. BIL did just that and when he retired, he bought a large 4,500 sq foot house with 4 bedrooms, pool, etc. Beautiful place and the kids did show up with the grandkids a few years in a row. Then the visits slowed to a crawl and the kids had other priorities, other in-laws to visit and wanted to stay home for the holidays.

Of course, all along BIL is paying a large property tax bill, high utility bills, etc. And now they seem to be spending more time visiting the kids where they live. So now its 20 years later and BIL and his DW have an albatross hanging over their head as they don't want to sell and are getting too old to move and downsize. Plus, all three children live thousands of miles away.

I didn't even set up a guest bedroom in my new-to-me Dream House, and got rid of the guest bedroom furniture for good. This will mean a lot less work for me if/when they visit. I am getting older and would rather offer to pay for them to stay in a nearby hotel instead rather than knock myself out cleaning and cooking when it isn't necessary. My friends and relatives know that my intentions are good, and they would not be offended.

For me, I think this will work out fine. On the other hand, some people feel differently and they have every right to feel that way. I guess they feel like it is inhospitable to not offer a guest bedroom to their guests.

To me the whole concept of a guest bedroom is reminiscent of the days of covered wagons and Little House on the Prairie. I guess I just don't "get it" for the 21st century.

 

[Calico]

Sorry to take so long to answer! I got caught up in some real life leisure activities last night, oh well.

Anyway.... anyone can join my gym, but your doctor has to sign a permission slip. My doctor wants me to exercise and lose weight so he had no problem doing that. Also on the form they want you to say whether or not you have a number of health issues, including high BP which I have (although it is under control with medication). I lied and checked "no". I don't know what they would do if I hadn't and didn't want to find out.

Another great thing about this gym is that all the personal trainers and other employees have been highly trained at first aid and might even be EMT trained. When I passed out at the gym a couple of years ago (due to stupidly not cooling down after some vigorous cardio activity), within just a few seconds they were there doing all the right things, taking my BP and assessing my condition and so on. Being older I like this. With an older clientele such as they have, every now and then somebody has to be taken away by an ambulance and they deal with these situations very professionally.

Back when I was working, around 2000, I was looking for a gym and one of my co-workers said she was leaving this gym and going to another. Her reason was that people at this gym were old and fat, and didn't motivate her, and the gym with all the buff young guys was cheaper. As an old/fat person who is internally motivated and who isn't one bit interested in gym flirtations or flexing muscles at the opposite sex, her list of negatives sounded like big positives to me so I went there and joined.

I think this gym has been wonderful for me. It is huge, with two indoor Olympic sized pools, a big hottub, an indoor walking track, massage rooms, a steam room, lots of classes, and a huge weight lifting area with lots of cardio machines like treadmills and ellipticals at one end, and more. The only parts of it that I have used are the weight lifting area and the indoor track. It is located about a block from the hospital, surrounded by medical office buildings.

No need to apologize! Thank you so much for taking the time to give such a detailed response. Your gym sounds absolutely perfect! And I agree - the "negatives" listed by the other person are all positives for me.

 

[Calico]

No, anyone can join, although they did check with our doctor to make sure there was no reason we should not join. The guy I worked with said they've never had a doc say "no" to someone exercising. It's called a "Wellness Center" I guess because of the hospital affiliation. Like W2R's, the staff all has some degree of physical fitness training and I think basic first aid.

Not a bad idea to call the hospitals near you and ask - it seems to be becoming more popular with the emphasis on maintaining health rather that focusing only on the things that go wrong.

It sounds great. I think I will call the hospitals to check and see if they have such a facility. All the gyms and the local YMCA are completely focused on, and overrun with, families. Nothing against families, but I am looking for a little more peace and quiet these days.

 

[Eagle43]

I didn't even set up a guest bedroom in my new-to-me Dream House, and got rid of the guest bedroom furniture for good. This will mean a lot less work for me if/when they visit. I am getting older and would rather offer to pay for them to stay in a nearby hotel instead rather than knock myself out cleaning and cooking when it isn't necessary. My friends and relatives know that my intentions are good, and they would not be offended.

For me, I think this will work out fine. On the other hand, some people feel differently and they have every right to feel that way. I guess they feel like it is inhospitable to not offer a guest bedroom to their guests.

To me the whole concept of a guest bedroom is reminiscent of the days of covered wagons and Little House on the Prairie. I guess I just don't "get it" for the 21st century.

+1
Everybody is happier, especially me. The guests get to see me, and I them. That's the point of the visit. Having a room that's not used 50 weeks or more each year is silly. It's logical and less stressful to pay for a room.

Sent from my AT100 using Early Retirement Forum mobile app

 

[Moemg]

I have to disagree about the spare bed room . It's nice to have a place for company even if it is a pull out couch . Some of my best memories are staying up late , sipping wine & talking with my daughter while the children sleep .I would also miss the closeness of lingering over breakfast while we made our plans for the day .I do agree with the cooking part but that is what take out is perfect for so no one is stressed about cooking .

 

[Amethyst]

I understand why some people would not want a larger house - plenty of good reasons, for them.

What I fail to understand is the level of scorn that I sometimes see directed against people who want spacious homes and presumably can afford to keep them up. I sense an almost Puritanical disapproval of ostentation. It is something I never observe when people mention spending tens of thousands on travel.

 

[Sarah in SC]

Ouch, Amethyst. You do make a good point there.

 

[braumeister]

I am getting older and would rather offer to pay for them to stay in a nearby hotel instead rather than knock myself out cleaning and cooking when it isn't necessary. My friends and relatives know that my intentions are good, and they would not be offended.

I have to disagree about the spare bed room . It's nice to have a place for company even if it is a pull out couch . Some of my best memories are staying up late , sipping wine & talking with my daughter while the children sleep .I would also miss the closeness of lingering over breakfast while we made our plans for the day .I do agree with the cooking part but that is what take out is perfect for so no one is stressed about cooking .

Bummer! These are two of the most intelligent comments on this topic I've read, and I fully agree with both of them.

The fact that they contradict each other just compounds my dilemma!

For the present, our "solution" has been to maintain a guest room but use it for other (hobby) purposes. When company is expected, we can easily clear out the hobby stuff and make it fairly nice for the guest(s).

 

[aja8888]

Bummer! These are two of the most intelligent comments on this topic I've read, and I fully agree with both of them.

The fact that they contradict each other just compounds my dilemma!

For the present, our "solution" has been to maintain a guest room but use it for other (hobby) purposes. When company is expected, we can easily clear out the hobby stuff and make it fairly nice for the guest(s).

Same here. We have a spare bedroom in our less than 2,000 square foot house and use it for miscellaneous stuff. When family visits, like last week when we had a special birthday celebration for DW, one visitor uses the bedroom. We had guests from California (3) and Wisconsin (1). The Ca folks stayed at a local hotel and the Wisconsinite (DW's younger sister) stayed with us.

It works and everyone had a great time.

 

[fritz]

It all depends on the person, I guess. The poster seemed (maybe unintentionally) a little critical of older women who buy larger houses instead of downsizing, and I posed a possible reason.

As a general rule, I am against making any behavior "mandatory" or "forbidden" to older people just because of their age number.

I was not being critical of older women buying large houses instead of downsizing. I stated older widows and (older) couples buy large homes here, and I was pointing out that this is somewhat contrary to what everyone thinks older people should be doing (downsizing) as they age. Our neighborhood is not seeing 55-65 year old people buying from current home owners, but rather a lot of older people. This was true even when they were new homes. This was a response to the comment about 55+ neighborhoods starting out with 55-65 year old buyers and fast forward 20 years and you have all 75-85 year old folks. Not true here - they were here all along and that age group is still the majority.

 

[Bestwifeever]

We don't have a dedicated guest room but we manage to accommodate house guests in our little house all the time. Pretty easygoing family and friends. If we had a bigger house it definitely would be nice to have a "special" place for company (but then they might stay too long haha).

Amethyst I have house envy of nice big homes! We are too planted to ever move but I don't believe my friends with bigger places than mine are the least bit unhappy with their homes.

 

[W2R]

Amethyst I have house envy of nice big homes! We are too planted to ever move but I don't believe my friends with bigger places than mine are the least bit unhappy with their homes.

Having just gone through a move at age 67, I can definitely state that I don't have house envy of anybody! My new ~1500 sf house is IT for me and I hope to never move again. Good thing it's my "dream house".

Still, I agree, those with big houses probably have them because they prefer living in a big house. More power to them, especially those who are thoughtful enough not to brag about their large homes. Far be it from me to criticize anybody's choices about how to spend their own money, as long as they are happy and content doing what they are doing.

However my guess is that those who complain about not having enough money, while spending lots on big houses or lavish trips or private planes or whatever, are likely to find little sympathy from those who are watching their pennies and living more modest lifestyles.

 

[Sarah in SC]

Mine is a little house (1500 sq feet) but we have room for lots of friends to stay, some, like our roommate, have been here a couple of years, but we also love long weekend visits, and if we run out of space inside, we also have a couple of tents handy.
Though I do worry when we finally get our efficiency built, that it might suddenly look attractive to <eeekkk> family, so it might have to be permanently assigned to a friend or two.

 

[pb4uski]

....I do woodturning and I really need that extra space. ....

Same problem here. You need space and a bit of privacy to do woodworking. For us it's a compromise we'd have to make between our love of space and gardening vs. the convenience of other people taking care of stuff while we're in FL for the winter. Tempting, but can't pull the trigger yet. Too much sawdust yet to make.

The first time we visited the 55+ community my Mom lives in we were strolling near the club area and saw a sign "Sawdust Engineers"..... turns out it was their woodworking club... they have about 1,000 sf and almost every woodworking tool known to man. In addition to their own projects they make wooden toys for disadvantaged area kids and sell some things they make to help support the club and their charitable activities.

 

[Amethyst]

Oh, I'm sorry, I wasn't going after you, fritz, and in fact I appreciated your detailed, thoughtful posts on this thread about your own experiences. That picture of the guy cleaning his sandals in the public pool will stay with me...I imagine him as having back fur and moobs...

I guess, though, that your post did trigger something that I have wanted to say for a while, having been an ER forum member since 2008. Even though I'm firmly in the "ant" camp in the age-old "ant versus grasshopper" struggle, I also think people should have all the fun they can afford during their brief time on earth -whether it's buying an airplane, climbing Everest, taking the grandkids to Bora Bora, or buying/decorating/staffing a mansion. If they don't want to do things like that, it is also fine with me.

Sometimes, though, I sense the presence of a grim-faced contingent who have decided that unless they would want something, nobody should want it, and especially not older women! That is all I meant, and it's off my chest now

I was not being critical of older women buying large houses instead of downsizing. I stated older widows and (older) couples buy large homes here, and I was pointing out that this is somewhat contrary to what everyone thinks older people should be doing (downsizing) as they age. Our neighborhood is not seeing 55-65 year old people buying from current home owners, but rather a lot of older people. This was true even when they were new homes. This was a response to the comment about 55+ neighborhoods starting out with 55-65 year old buyers and fast forward 20 years and you have all 75-85 year old folks. Not true here - they were here all along and that age group is still the majority.