Retirement communities change for Boomers

[W2R]

From the rumors I've heard about these senior communities, quite a few folks a "burning" need, and I'm not talking shuffleboard...

Oh lovely, living in Peyton Place? Ewww. Not my cup of tea.

Regardless of any positives or negatives, my housing costs would rise dramatically if I moved into one of the Del Webb/Sun City-type communities, so it's a non-starter.

Even if I could handle the costs, I'm not sure that I could handle all the socializing. Most of the so-called "advantages" of living in a community like that, are things that INTJ's like F and me would be trying to avoid. Clubs? Parties? Organized activities? Block parties? AAAGH

Most people in our neighborhood are older than 55, even though it is not a 55+ community. There isn't much turnover, and most new neighbors tend to be older than 55, too (like me). A few are younger but not many. That's good enough for us.

 

[Cobra9777]

My in-laws live at Robson Ranch in North Texas. They absolutely love it there. We've visited many times and every time we leave, DW and I have a brief discussion about moving there as a downsize option. I'm really torn. On one hand, everything seems great... the houses, people, facilities, activities, clubs, etc. We enjoy visiting there and also the nearby university town, which is quite an interesting place. On the other hand, I get this creepy feeling like in the movie Stepford Wives. Everything is almost disturbingly idyllic. I also detest the idea of an HOA. The in-laws have a neighbor who repeatedly reports them if a couple weeds pop up in their flower beds. The same neighbor complains every time they BBQ because the smoke drifts over to her patio. Not sure I'm wired to live that close to other people.

 

[Mulligan]

I like living in a 55+ community which is the same as a "retirement" community. 55 isn't that old for a retiree, so there are plenty of active folks. It's relatively quiet and laid back, no work day commuters or school buses/car pools.

The 55+ is definitely something that would appeal to me in about 10 years at age 60. I have not explored too in depth, but have kind of mentally envisioned a balance between "young and old" retirees. However many of the complaints I have read always describe mostly communities of people 70 and over.
Did you actively research to find a balanced population community?
I would like a balanced one, but I am not unsettled by being around "old people". Heck I golf weekly with my neighbor who is 86 and still a very good golfer.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

 

[MichaelB]

This is such a common phenomenon that there really should be a word for it.

How about "roldsters", as in "really old oldsters". Then there's "foldsters", as in "frickin' curmudgeonly oldsters". Put the two together and you have "refoldsters".

Different strokes for different folks.

+1

 

[Amethyst]

Of all the issues raised by others on this (and similar) threads, it is this that bothers me the most. Right now, my home and yard create distance and privacy. However, all these retirement places are so cramped, and everyone is jammed together on their tiny lots.

So you either have to leave the place entirely, or go to one of the on-site recreation facilities where you see all the same people day after day. Yes, I want company, but I don't want to have to go hide in my bungalow in order to get away from them. I am like Bilbo, when he retired to Rivendell: "There are elves...when you want them."

Bottom line, although I am a good and reliable person, and a kind one, I am also the type who is inclined to poke fun at sacred cows (e.g. making fun of the name "pickleball"). And once you've dared to poke fun at pickleball, you are probably persona non grata at any and all retirement places forever and ever. In short, I'm simply not everyone's cup of tea, nor do I want to have to exert the mental effort to BE everyone's cup of tea (had to do enough of that at work).

Not sure I'm wired to live that close to other people.

 

[audreyh1]

Socializing is not required even if you live in one of these communities.

The problem with a large home lot providing privacy is there is a lot of maintenance required, something that becomes more of a hassle as you age.

 

[athena53]

I look at the CCRC as a gift I am giving to myself and to my younger family members. We tend to be very pragmatic and also extremely long-lived. Many family members live into their late 90's, and a couple made it past 100. If I never need the nursing care at the CCRC, that's fine. But I will rest easy knowing it's there in a heartbeat if I do need it, and so will my family members.

That's where I'll probably be headed when I no longer want the upkeep and maintenance issues of a house. I'm only 62 so it should be many years down the road. My son and DIL live 3 hours away. They have one child and are hoping for one or two more, so I'd probably move to a CCRC in their area. That way I'll be easy to visit but not living in their spare bedroom.

 

[Tadpole]

My consideration is different, I suppose. I might enjoy having things going on that I could participate in at will. But, the honest truth is that I bore easily and others bore of me easily. I am not particularly adept at socialization and tend to end up observing others partaking of socialization. The person I imagine enjoying a over 55 community is probably not the real me.

 

[Live And Learn]

I love my 55+ community. I've made friends and there is always something to do, including no green fee golf included in my $90/ month HOA fee. I have just as much privacy / space as my prior home, plus I am on green space. I do not miss the screaming kids from my old neighborhood, I do not miss idiots screeching down the roads. I am one of the youngest residents (DH is age qualified, I am only 52). I am also less active than many of the older residents. I look forward to living here until it is time for me to move to a CCRC.

 

[audreyh1]

The people in our 55+ community have a lot of social activities going when most of them are hear in the late fall/winter/early spring months. Less hectic over the hotter months, but still increasingly active as more and more folks live here year around.

I'm actually amazed at the amount of activities and the enthusiasm with which people participate. It's pretty spontaneous too - someone comes up with an idea and people join in, and if popular it becomes a regular activity after a while with a regular person doing the organizing for a specific activity for a season, and passing on to someone else when they are ready to move on.

We don't participate in any of it. We used to go occasionally, but community dinners where you bring a dish get old (for me) really quick. Yet most of my neighbors enthusiastically participate. Same with organized weekly and monthly restaurant outings - many love to go out to eat together regularly. Not for me either.

I occasionally invite the community to participate in something that interests me - such as a "butterfly garden" open house (well, garden) that I hold during butterfly season. Have a dozen folks show up for an hour - good enough for me. I've done a few plant walks over the years, and occasionally remind folks when the hummingbirds are coming through. We take a neighbor or two birding now and then - the beginning birders that haven't experienced the local hot spots yet.

But the general level of happiness, energy, and good feeling between neighbors who get to know each other pretty well, does rub off on me. I appreciate that part.

No one ever questions our level of participation. Neighbors know we have interests outside the community.

 

[imoldernu]

So, I'm already there... Living in Liberty Village in Peru. Love every part of it.

To save time, "What Calico said"...

We really like our community. In our case, after living in an age restricted community (over 55) for more than 15 years, we moved to our CCRC in 2004... this is a slow down, but as such, very much appreciated. Gone the go-go days of parties, shuffleboard, pool, classes, bowling, bocce, card games, music sessions , pot lucks, pontoon boat day trips, and dozens of other activities. Gone the wine tasting, karaoke, trips to Daytona or Cedar Key and the nights of going to the Villages for block parties.

It's a time for settling down, without the cares of maintenance, social activities responsibilities and general upkeep.

It's a feeling of safety... We live in a regular 1600 sf home, but can easily transition to an apartment, assisted living, nursing home or Alzheimer unit... all within our own comfortable community of people.

While retirement is a phase, within those years are changes. Not too put a too fine point on this, a big difference between the 55-65 age group, and the 75 to 85 age group. We've been in both, so some experience. Of course there are exceptions but our experience says most in our current age group are thankful for a slowdown.

Total independence comes with risk, as we age. Transitioning on a planned schedule, to a CCRC is easier to do when we're healthy. Too often, the move is not scheduled, but forced, as in a broken hip, or other debilitating health problems. At that point, integrating into another community... with a handicap that requires care, is difficult.

Of course, looking into the future is not a given, but neither are there any guarantees that wishes become reality. When comparing your own future to those that are discussed on ER, the hope is for independence at age 88... the reality may be quite different. Even at age 70, our outlook was for more activity... nearing 80, more subdued. Neither DW nor I have ever regretted our move to Liberty Village.

For anyone who may not be familiar with a full service CCRC, a search for Liberty Village will bring up many of the 17 different communities in the parent organization. Typical of many CCRC's here's a FAQ of what you might expect with regard to lifestyle, facilities, rules and regulations as well as an overview of costs. Some of the details that aren't obvious from a quick visit to a facility.
Villas, Apartments, Assisted Living, and Nursing Home.

http://www.simplythefinest.net/faqs.php

Just an opinion...we often look to our parents, or older friends or relatives as a guideline or a possible model for our own future. At the same time, we must be mindful of statistics... somewhere in between, a decision that can be made for the later years.

 

[Calico]

......It's a time for settling down, without the cares of maintenance, social activities responsibilities and general upkeep......

....Total independence comes with risk, as we age. Transitioning on a planned schedule, to a CCRC is easier to do when we're healthy. Too often, the move is not scheduled, but forced, as in a broken hip, or other debilitating health problems. At that point, integrating into another community... with a handicap that requires care, is difficult.....

...Just an opinion...we often look to our parents, or older friends or relatives as a guideline or a possible model for our own future. At the same time, we must be mindful of statistics... somewhere in between, a decision that can be made for the later years.

This sums it up for me. I have seen one elderly relative after another (including my own father) put off making a decision until a health crisis forced the situation, and I refuse to put myself in that position, or to put that burden on my younger relatives. I have seen one relative after another scrambling to find a decent, affordable care community for a parent or in-law in the midst of a health crisis. On top of everything else, the younger family members are often beating themselves up with guilt. All of this can be avoided with proper planning.

I have been independent my entire life, and I would rather be proactive, choose my own CCRC, and move in while I still have all (or almost all, depending on whom you ask) my marbles.

Then, if my marbles slowing drift away over the years, so be it. I will be in the place I chose for myself.

 

[Calico]

That's where I'll probably be headed when I no longer want the upkeep and maintenance issues of a house. I'm only 62 so it should be many years down the road. My son and DIL live 3 hours away. They have one child and are hoping for one or two more, so I'd probably move to a CCRC in their area. That way I'll be easy to visit but not living in their spare bedroom.

Bingo!

 

[Telly]

I really appreciate all the insights into actual life in a 55+ community. I know personally only one person who is in one, it's far away from me, and they just moved in.

Keep the 55+ community experiences coming!

 

[Tree-dweller]

Neither did I... until too many changes occurred. We bought the present house, lived here many years now, figured to retire in-place. But there are changes in the neighborhood. Worst is the neighbor on one side, we have had to endure three generations of poor parenting with them, and the yard is hoarded. More "grandkids" coming via all sorts of low-moral engagements. The house is like a low-budget motel. Also, I find myself thinking "do I want to be doing this 10 years from now?"

I must live two houses down from you: it seems we share a neighbor! While that may be a contributing factor to get us to move, my experience at the few 55+ communities we've visited is that they really should be called 70+ communities, and DW and I (who bookend 60) would not feel comfortable there right now. But as usual, Imoldernu's experience and perspective is of interest, and we don't rule out a similar path...just not yet.

 

[RE2Boys]

my experience at the few 55+ communities we've visited is that they really should be called 70+ communities, and DW and I (who bookend 60) would not feel comfortable there right now. But as usual, Imoldernu's experience and perspective is of interest, and we don't rule out a similar path...just not yet.

It's been interesting and enlightening following this thread. Being an older dad with high school kids at home, most of the interaction I have is with other parents in their late 30s to 40s. Can't really relate to interacting with 60s and 70s folks, I keep thinking that they are so much older and at a different stage in life (which they really are) and I'm not one of them.......until I remind myself that soon I'll be 66.
Maybe there is some truth to the old saying that kids will keep you young! Tonight I give a talk on tips for backpacking and am taking a bunch of Boy Scout out on a weekend outing in late September

 

[Amethyst]

That's what groundskeepers are for.

Frankly, I'd pay more for privacy. But there never is a privacy option, other than staying inside your house.

The problem with a large home lot providing privacy is there is a lot of maintenance required, something that becomes more of a hassle as you age.

 

[crispus]

We have lived in the Villages FL for about 5 years. It's a 55 and older community with about 110,000 residents. We live here year round.

Pros
endless activities
great weather
low home maintenance
golf (I play around 3 times a week)
over 90 miles of golf cart paths
3 town centers
cheap liquor
low taxes

Cons
too far from major city (Orlando about a 45min drive / Ocala about 20 min drive)
no diversity (lots of old white people)
houses too close together

All and all we love it here. You get the most bang for the buck of anywhere I've seen.

 

[harley]

DW and I moved to a 55+ community a couple of years ago. It's a little place, just 19.9 million people. It's called "Florida". At not quite 60 years old, I think we're probably in the youngest 25% demographic.

 

[48Fire]

This is such a common phenomenon that there really should be a word for it.

When my mother got too old to do her own shopping and cooking, it took me a while but I finally convinced her to move to a "retirement community" where she could just walk down the hall three times a day for meals. Her initial reaction was "This place is full of old people; I don't belong here." She was 88 at the time.

HAHA... MIL had a similar quote recently, "Aren't some of these people pathetic?".

 

[48Fire]

I for one had never wanted to live in a community where everyone was like me, age, profession, race, interests, background, whatever. I have always gotten more pleasure from being with different and interesting people than from others exactly like me. Hey, if I want to be with me, I have that already, me.

I remember decades ago, as a young professional, with my own business, working from home, the real estate agent told us, we would feel comfortable here, everyone was like me. That was exactly the wrong thing to say. We specifically told the next real estate agent, now this was 25 years ago, we wanted a neighborhood where people were different, young, old, different backgrounds, etc.

So now, I am older, but nothing about this has changed for me. I like interesting different folks of all ages. I find that no matter how different we are, age, from different cultures, backgrounds, politics, race, religion, whatever, I find a great deal of common ideals, and have some interesting stories to share.

I agree. You would love our neighborhood up north, except maybe the ice and snow. Still haven't found this in Florida, yet, but we are looking.

I joked with my wife last week as we passed the 55+ community billboards on our way down to Florida. Hey Hun, you will qualify in 4 months I qualified last month.

 

[Totoro]

HAHA... MIL had a similar quote recently, "Aren't some of these people pathetic?".

In all fairness, some of them probably are.

As far as I can tell at a higher age there is huge diversity between capabilities and mental states in a given age group, even more so than in general society.

In addition you start 'converging' again. It's like going back to elementary school, you end up with people you otherwise would never (choose to) interact with. Simply because there are less older people and you get bunched together again by age vs. type.

I for sure am in a bubble in the other direction: most my friends are university educated in a science field, love international travel, were top segment of their class and a bunch of them have top MBAs too. Hardly an unbiased sample of real life.

My grandmother just to posit another example lived in an african country for 8 years as an expat back in the 60s. That life experience really changed her perspective and she has a hard time relating to plenty of the still-living elders around here, since most never left their home town. The adventurous ones are all dead

I can imagine it's hard to relate to the world when there is no-one left that understands your context.

 

[nun]

How Retirement Communities Like Del Webb Are Changing to Appeal to Baby Boomers - CityLab

An interesting overview of what's selling these days for Del Webb corporation, the originator of retirement communities.

Out: Golf courses and shuffleboard

In: Close to the city, walking trails, room for my stuff, a room or outbuilding for my visitors

The 1960 promotional video for Sun City is a hoot:

It's a diverse community.....men and women.

 

[nun]

I'm still young (mid 50s) and don't think I'll ever move to a retirement community, certainly not in the Sun Belt. I like living in the city where there's plenty to do and close to friends.

 

[fritz]

I thought I'd share our observation of our 55+ community of decent sized townhomes and single family homes. I have commented on them here in the past. Some respondents make us laugh as they are pretty much on the money from our viewpoint, but then again - that depends on how you view them.

We're in our 9th year of living in a single family home in a 55+ gated retirement community. Community was just completed back then. We have a somewhat love/hate relationship with it. We moved in when we were just eligible. I was 55 and wife was 53. Our reasons for moving here were we were only planning to stay for 5 years and thought it was a good community for financial stability. It stood to reason that old people have the money and the community should be able to weather what I viewed as a minor financial downturn approaching late 2006.

This is the only place we've ever lived where we witnessed foreclosures in our neighborhood, where the authorities put the home occupant's furniture out on the driveway. Community is just over 12 years old now - homes weren't that old then. Many foreclosures here - just like regular neighborhoods.

Prices haven't recovered yet to pre-downturn levels as the families of the deceased here dump the houses to eliminate the ongoing expenses and to get the money. Those unable to live independently have moved to CCRC or in with relatives - also depressing the market values of our homes (sit vacant for sale). Some here just move on and take a loss ($70k-$90K this year on two on our street and they had the most upgrades you could add) - even when they are just downsizing from a SFH to a TH right in our neighborhood. You have to take this into consideration when buying in a 55+ retirement community.

We have a clubhouse, indoor/outdoor pools, tennis (coverted to pickle ball) courts, bocce ball courts, and golf. Only a few take advantage of the indoor lap pool or exercise areas... Cliques/clubs have taken over the outdoor pools, and other areas in the clubhouse that were designated originally for everyone's use. We have neighborhood sidewalks and walking paths around the ponds and you always feel secure any time you are using them, or riding your bike on the streets.

If you are outgoing - there's plenty to do here. If you want to be left alone - you don't get ostracized for it. We like to be left alone, but actively use the indoor pool and exercise facilities which are empty for the most part (old people here don't exercise). We also walk and bike the neighborhood daily. Even play golf.

There are a lot of ways people here call attention to themselves (very elegant cars, extreme sports cars/off-road vehicles, and uniquely marked cars/golf carts), but most go about their business and drive the ordinary vehicles - this isn't a millionaires retirement community. It really gives credence the old saying "there's no fool like an old fool". Cliques and clubs abound, and we suffer from committees for everything (want to keep an old person busy - form a committee). Long and short of it - we have mostly old people (+70) and we wish some would just move away, but it's pretty much just like most neighborhoods, if you just want to keep to yourself and be a good neighbor. We wouldn't buy into a gated retirement community single family home again, but like how nice the community looks and favor the rules and regulations homeowners have to abide by (even thought they are sometimes a PITA).