Retirement communities change for Boomers

[bclover]

I do not live in a older adult community but my father did and loved it.

One thing he found out (and this was just his experience) was that the "old" neighborhood wasn't really the old neighborhood because the new generation of owners were not like him and his neighbors. the building was the same but the mentality was totally different.

now maybe it was because many of them had inherited the property but he (and me) felt that, kids where not raised the same way, kids out all hours of the night, cursing, running in the street. Neighbors did not take care of property the same as he felt his generation did. His one neighbor had the proverbial 3 cars in front yard on cinder blocks. No one said hi, iGod forbid you actually try to talk to another parent about their kids, you definitely ended up at the least getting cursed out, no one bothered etc etc all the things that he felt made a neighborhood a neighborhood back in the 60's was definitely no longer in play

We lived in NYC and believe me for a 75 year old man to get around in the winter is not easy.

So he enjoyed living with "old folks".

 

[Amethyst]

Not only that, but the ad implies that men made all the decisions. The "girls" (yeesh) were dropped off at the beauty parlor like a couple of poodles at the groomer's, while the menfolk went to view all the amenities. Try pulling that one today!

It's a diverse community.....men and women.

 

[Amethyst]

How have they taken over? Do they frown, cluck their tongues, and make disapproving remarks when non-clique-members try to use the pool? Or do they just expand their bodies over the whole available area, the way a toad will spread out on your hand, so no one else can get in?

tCliques/clubs have taken over the outdoor pools, and other areas in the clubhouse that were designated originally for everyone's use.

 

[crispus]

Prices haven't recovered yet to pre-downturn levels as the families of the deceased here dump the houses to eliminate the ongoing expenses and to get the money. Those unable to live independently have moved to CCRC or in with relatives - also depressing the market values of our homes (sit vacant for sale). Some here just move on and take a loss ($70k-$90K this year on two on our street and they had the most upgrades you could add) - even when they are just downsizing from a SFH to a TH right in our neighborhood. You have to take this into consideration when buying in a 55+ retirement community.

We were fortunate to buy our home at the bottom of the market and are up about 70K. I don't look at our home as an investment however.

 

[fritz]

How have they taken over? Do they frown, cluck their tongues, and make disapproving remarks when non-clique-members try to use the pool? Or do they just expand their bodies over the whole available area, the way a toad will spread out on your hand, so no one else can get in?

Yes, they'll make it difficult to swim laps by getting in and in the way. They've told people to go inside and swim laps (don't want to get their hair wet). We've not experienced this personally in the outdoor pool as we don't swim laps in the outdoor pools, but other lap swimmers we know have told us of this scenario. They have on occasion done these antics in the indoor pool (when the weather is not conducive to being outdoors) while we're swimming laps. They want to walk around the pool perimeter, and will just get in and get in peoples way. These folks also use the indoor pool daily for their classes (you can't swim laps during those times). They pretty much just bob up and down with swimming noodles and keep their hair dry while talking non-stop. It's sad how some people feel they own more rights to the common areas than others.

Others areas that should be open to all residents for individual use are almost completely blocked out by clubs/groups utilizing those areas daily. Some areas are completely blocked out from open use during the week and weekends.

 

[Amethyst]

What a horror show. The club/group dominance thing follows us into the grave, it seems.

Well, if it's not a community that welcomes me, it's not a community, period, and I see no reason to be polite to others who are rude. How about I come for a visit. I am a poor swimmer who splashes a lot, and I would be sure to swim near them and get their honey-blonde tousled-pixie hairdos all wet.

Yes, they'll make it difficult to swim laps by getting in and in the way. They've told people to go inside and swim laps (don't want to get their hair wet). We've not experienced this personally in the outdoor pool as we don't swim laps in the outdoor pools, but other lap swimmers we know have told us of this scenario. They have on occasion done these antics in the indoor pool (when the weather is not conducive to being outdoors) while we're swimming laps. They want to walk around the pool perimeter, and will just get in and get in peoples way. These folks also use the indoor pool daily for their classes (you can't swim laps during those times). They pretty much just bob up and down with swimming noodles and keep their hair dry while talking non-stop. It's sad how some people feel they own more rights to the common areas than others.

Others areas that should be open to all residents for individual use are almost completely blocked out by clubs/groups utilizing those areas daily. Some areas are completely blocked out from open use during the week and weekends.

 

[Walt34]

How about I come for a visit. I am a poor swimmer who splashes a lot, and I would be sure to swim near them and get their honey-blonde tousled-pixie hairdos all wet.

Reminds me of FIL getting yelled at by the old ladies at the "Y" when he did a cannonball into the pool and splashed water on them. He was ~80 at the time.

 

[Amethyst]

Yelled, phooey. They should've lifted their bathing suit skirts and shot him the moon! Ok I am perilously close to getting banned, here...life has been weird and I am blowing off steam.

 

[fritz]

What a horror show. The club/group dominance thing follows us into the grave, it seems.

Well, if it's not a community that welcomes me, it's not a community, period, and I see no reason to be polite to others who are rude. How about I come for a visit. I am a poor swimmer who splashes a lot, and I would be sure to swim near them and get their honey-blonde tousled-pixie hairdos all wet.

Our indoor clubhouse pool has a couple big bins of noodles, and we've observed people in class just bobbing in the water and chatting nonstop while we were working out. I told my wife (who loves to swim laps with me) that I remembered how the old people would act in the pool when I used to swim at the Y. She had that "yeah, sure" look, but within a couple of times lap swimming - she became a victim of it herself. We swim laps three times/week, and have kept changing our days/swim time to avoid classes and annoying people. We now swim at lunch time when everyone is home feeding their faces and no one is there.

This will make your skin crawl - not once, but twice this year while we were swimming laps we observed the president of one of the clique clubs (who occupy one of the outdoor pools all summer) come into the indoor pool area to get to the locker room/bathrooms. After being in there awhile, he emerged and stepped into the pool with his sandals on and swished them around (cleaning them) right in front of us while we were swimming. Then left for the outdoor pool. The next time he went in to use the facilities, he actually got in the pool with his sandals again, but this time he submerged himself and it looked like he was taking a rinse-off bath. He got out and left for the outdoor pool.

Although it clearly states that all swimmers must shower before swimming, we've observed that it's rare that anyone comes into the pool area who has taken a shower. Sometimes the pool reeks of perfume/cologne, and you find the occasional band-aid and tissues left lying on the edge of the pool. I wear goggles, but have had eye infections fairly regularly. My wife will "never" get in the hot tub....

Reminds me of FIL getting yelled at by the old ladies at the "Y" when he did a cannonball into the pool and splashed water on them. He was ~80 at the time.

I was a Y member in my teens and again in my 20's after I got married. I used to get up early and go swimming during the week before going to work. Always gave me a real kick start for the day and loved it. I quit the Y in my 20's as it became very difficult to get a lane for lap swimming during open swim, and the Y always reserved/sold prime pool time to Y and non Y people for kiddie swim lessons. Even back then - people would get in the lanes and just stand there and talk nonstop. When they did swim, it was like synchronized swimming and they faced each other and talked non-stop while swimming the entire length of the pool. They would then stand at the other end and continue talking. I just gave up.

 

[haha]

Frankly, I'd pay more for privacy. But there never is a privacy option, other than staying inside your house.

It really depends on the type of people that are drawn to the micro-community.

Most of my life I lived very close to others. I never noticed that they were an issue. Stuff like the grass Nazi mentioned above is completely outside my experience.

Ha

 

[Amethyst]

But you don't live in a "retirement community," do you.

It really depends on the type of people that are drawn to the micro-community.

Most of my life I lived very close to others. I never noticed that they were an issue. Stuff like the grass Nazi mentioned above is completely outside my experience.

Ha

 

[EastWest Gal]

This thread is helping me feel better about the swim spa I bought this year. I can swim outside whenever I want for as long as I want. But the expense gave me pause. I used to swim at the Y but times and lanes were limited due to classes and swim team. I might spring for a 3 month membership during snowy months however.

We don't get much of the bobbing up and down on noodles crowd at our Y. Just two many hours of swim team. With retirement comes a much more flexible schedule.

We'll never be able to downsize. DH now holds theater orchestra rehearsals in our family room.


Sent from my iPhone using Early Retirement Forum

 

[audreyh1]

We definitely have the bob up and down swim noodles club, men and women, and it's still a little freaky to me. But very popular here. Fortunately they like to be out during the hot sunburn hours when I totally avoid the sun. If I want to swim in the evening I might have the pool to myself.

It's a saltwater pool which I don't mind. I can't tolerate the chlorinated ones.

 

[Tadpole]

I guess I don't understand this pool thing. Is the pool in question designated as having a lap priority? I picture 20 people wanting to use a pool with 6 lap lanes. Should 14 people get out of the pool so 6 people can have a lane all to themselves? My experience with public pools is a bunch of people show up and do what they please. Some swim, some bob, some dive, some chat, some splash, or whatever.

 

[DJRR]

I guess I don't understand this pool thing. Is the pool in question designated as having a lap priority? I picture 20 people wanting to use a pool with 6 lap lanes. Should 14 people get out of the pool so 6 people can have a lane all to themselves? My experience with public pools is a bunch of people show up and do what they please. Some swim, some bob, some dive, some chat, some splash, or whatever.

+1. A rope setting off 2 lap lanes at our pool seems to cover it. Laps in the lane, if you are not swimming laps stay out of the lane.

 

[rodi]

Not in a senior community - but user of a park and recs department public pool. It's used by the high school for swim team and water polo - but they practice at 5am which is not the public use hours. There is adult lap swimming from 6:30-9:30am and 5pm-7pm. During the morning there are baby/toddler swim lessons and mommy/baby swim lesson. There are also various exercise classes - but they don't take the whole pool. Even when the lessons are going on there are still lap lanes open for those not particpating in the classes, and another section for the float and bob crowd. late afternoon it's swim lessons and swim team (rec department, vs school). (It's an L shaped pool so it lends itself to different areas for different uses.)

Weekends, especially hot weekends, kids take over the pool and splash and play. But there are still the two lap lanes.

From what I've observed - there is harmony and peace among the different users. Perhaps having a multigenerational neighborhood makes the difference.

 

[Sarah in SC]

In all fairness, some of them probably are.

As far as I can tell at a higher age there is huge diversity between capabilities and mental states in a given age group, even more so than in general society.

In addition you start 'converging' again. It's like going back to elementary school, you end up with people you otherwise would never (choose to) interact with. Simply because there are less older people and you get bunched together again by age vs. type.

I for sure am in a bubble in the other direction: most my friends are university educated in a science field, love international travel, were top segment of their class and a bunch of them have top MBAs too. Hardly an unbiased sample of real life.

My grandmother just to posit another example lived in an african country for 8 years as an expat back in the 60s. That life experience really changed her perspective and she has a hard time relating to plenty of the still-living elders around here, since most never left their home town. The adventurous ones are all dead

I can imagine it's hard to relate to the world when there is no-one left that understands your context.

Wow, this is very insightful, but also incredibly depressing to contemplate. I don't wanna hang out with the boring old people when all the adventurous ones are all dead. Ugh.


And to Harley: wtf did you expect, in Florida, lol!
Did you see there's a new festival coming in March?
Okeechobeefest is what it is called. No word yet on artists...

 

[HFWR]

Okeechobeefest is what it is called. No word yet on artists...

Aka "Mosquitostock"...

 

[Cobra9777]

...It's a saltwater pool which I don't mind. I can't tolerate the chlorinated ones.

Salt water pools are in fact chlorinated. Instead of adding chlorine directly to the water, they utilize a chlorine generator that converts the salt in the water into chlorine, which is what sanitizes the pool water. Salt=NaCl=sodium chloride.

 

[MichaelB]

DW and I moved to a 55+ community a couple of years ago. It's a little place, just 19.9 million people. It's called "Florida". At not quite 60 years old, I think we're probably in the youngest 25% demographic.

I totally get that. We're a bit older than you but still below the mean age, everywhere. When the age group is that high, no matter where you go, there's always a noisy curmudgeon, ready to ruin someone's day. Even worse, though, is all the plastic surgery. It makes some if those folks look like they've risen from the dead. Gives me the shivers...

 

[Sarah in SC]

Aka "Mosquitostock"...

Yeah, really, but it is in March...that's gotta be a low point for the population, right?

 

[MichaelB]

Yeah, really, but it is in March...that's gotta be a low point for the population, right?

Yup. Tourists and snowbirds everywhere.

 

[John Galt III]

I haven't seen anyone mention prices yet. I was stunned to hear the prices my mother talking about as she was contemplating moving herself and my dad into a retirement community. The *monthly* cost would be $7,000 for a memory care unit for my dad, and $4,000 for a *regular* place for Mom. Total $11,000 per month (not year).

She feels uncomfortable leaving Dad alone (he has walked out of the house and wandered around at times) and feels trapped babysitting him 24 hours a day. I tell her just to drop him off at adult day care once in a while. Finally she has agreed to check out an adult day care place, which would only be $95 for a 5 hour block ($19 an hour).

I don't want to meddle in her retirement, but it seems she is panicking a bit since Dad has returned home recently from an operation on a broken hip and is now even more senile and needs to be watched. I guess the question is what to do as time goes on Dad gets even worse. They are both in their 90's. Yikes. No great options, it seems.

 

[Dogman]

I live in Sun Lakes, AZ moved here when we were 52 for early retirement and safety. Unfortunately, it is too hot for 5 months of the year, dusty as heck. Sun Lakes, you rarely see your neighbors even though they live next door, and the homeowners dues have almost doubled since we moved here. I understand there are many nice retirement places but they are usually located in difficult locations (cheap) and have too many rules. Although I am 60 the old people here think the world owes them a living. Looking to move to a small farm soon!

 

[Sarah in SC]

Yup. Tourists and snowbirds everywhere.

If the lineup at the festival is anything like Bonnaroo, I'm guessing most except Harley would skip it lol.
Not exactly the right demographic.
I meant lower populations of mosquitos!