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Retirement? Retirement?!? You can't HANDLE retirement!!
Old 06-10-2009, 01:39 PM   #1
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Retirement? Retirement?!? You can't HANDLE retirement!!

I posted this on Raddr's board a while back, and the latest edition of the "My Next Phase" newsletter just hit my IN box. It's priceless:

Quote:
File under "Can't Make This Stuff Up": AARP says 28 percent of Americans spent more time watching reality TV last month than they spent planning their retirement over the entire past decade.
My Next Phase - New Member Tips (#16)

"My Next Phase" is a retirement-coaching website run by an entrepreneur and a couple of clinical psychologists. The idea is to guide members through a battery of personality tests and then suggest how they should approach retirement and create a new life that's fun & fulfilling. It's a sort of Myers-Briggs on drill-sergeant steroids. It's not just about whether you're introverted or extroverted, but about how you plan and how you react to problems. The idea is to give retirees life tools, not just financial-management tools.

Like financial advisors and annuity salesmen, it must provide some sort of service to people who think they need servicing. Undoubtedly it helps people who can't (or won't) do for themselves, or who need their hands held. They've been around for a while and they're collecting media attention, so they're not totally clueless. I think they're targeting the late-50s exec (male, of course) whose career has peaked a bit short of his aspirations and who now is beginning to resign himself to spending the rest of his life with golf, grandkids, & wife-- and feels somehow unhappy about it.

But like Jack Nicholson with that quote, the MyNextPhase guys somehow manage to annoy me. I don't know if it's because they insist on dribbling out small doses of content while pelting members with ads, or because they only share their "guidance" with newsletters instead of free website content, or because they seem to take a somewhat condescending & patronizing attitude to the subject. It's written in business-speak that comes across as the type of "tough love" that's frequently seen in those self-help "Double your sales and get that promotion NOW, you loser!!" career-guidance books. I almost expect to see Dogbert's picture on the "About Us" page.

Their last e-mailed newsletter had one of those "If you can't see this in your e-mail, click here" links that led to a web page. I realized that they've put all their newsletters on their website, but without explicit links to find them. So I've collected them here for your professional enhancement reading enjoyment-- and maybe you can help me understand why I find these guys so annoying…

The "My Next Phase" retirement newsletters #1-15 in the Index of /newsletter directory:

My Next Phase - New Member Tips
My Next Phase - New Member Tips
My Next Phase - New Member Tips
My Next Phase - New Member Tips
My Next Phase - New Member Tips
My Next Phase - New Member Tips
My Next Phase - New Member Tips
My Next Phase - New Member Tips
My Next Phase - New Member Tips
My Next Phase - New Member Tips
My Next Phase - New Member Tips
My Next Phase - New Member Tips
My Next Phase - New Member Tips
My Next Phase - New Member Tips
My Next Phase - New Member Tips
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Old 06-10-2009, 02:06 PM   #2
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I won't reprise my somewhat negative comment over at Raddr's forum.

But - contemplating The Tall Grass Praire in Kansas is just absolutely just ducky with me. Kansas City is about as exiting/fulfilling as I want to get.

If I get bored - maybe in real retirement(after age 66) I'll do a Bush I and go jump out of an aeroplane - preferrably with a parachute.

heh heh heh - strikes me as distorted version of the late Joseph Cambell's 'follow your bliss.' .
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Old 06-10-2009, 02:13 PM   #3
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I can TOO handle it, I can I can I can I CAN!!! And I'll show these guys in November, I WILL!

By the way, thanks. I read the first couple of newsletters and believe it or not I plan to actually read them carefully after I get home from w*rk. They may or may not teach me anything, but I think that after reading them all I will have a lot more confidence that I have at least thought a little bit about something other than $$$ in preparation for my upcoming retirement.
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Old 06-10-2009, 04:21 PM   #4
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Paralysis by analysis and vice versa.

W2R, you could write the next newsletter, but your planning is so logical and well thought out that it wouldn't make anyone call a retirement coach for help.
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Old 06-10-2009, 04:26 PM   #5
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Thanks Nords. I had not seen this before. Very interesting papers.
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Old 06-10-2009, 07:15 PM   #6
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Well ok I'll start it off.

1. They seem to think they know how to grade success in retirement - like the thing with Billie Jean King and Paul Newman vs Ed McMahon. What a bunch of knucle brained dorks. Don't the writers know that doing absolutely nothing and not telling anyone lest they offer their unwanted opinion is the ultimate success - like mastering the sound of one hand clapping.

2. And further more - I know I'm INTJ, left handed and resent their implication they can help get me to know myself.

Next.

.

heh heh heh - And I ain't gonna write no stinking book about my first 15 years of ER either. So There. . Plus I wrote without benefit of CHP.
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Old 06-10-2009, 07:24 PM   #7
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from the article...Much of the uneasiness can be traced to three things commonly lost when we finally bid adieu to work (at least, work as we've traditionally known it):
* a sense of identity
* feelings of status
* automatic time structure

Identity: I am Freebird. Also left-handed.
Status: I am Queen of the Art of Glorified BS.
Time Structure: This is why the sun rises in the east and sets in the west.
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Old 06-10-2009, 08:23 PM   #8
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Old 06-10-2009, 08:34 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by unclemick View Post
....

But - contemplating The Tall Grass Praire in Kansas is just absolutely just ducky with me. Kansas City is about as exiting/fulfilling as I want to get.
....
I hear everything is up-to-date in Kansas City; how could anyone get bored. I could hang out anywhere, also, and be fascinated.

----

Quote:
File under Can't Make This Stuff Up: AARP says 28 percent of Americans spent more time watching reality TV last month than they spent planning their retirement over the entire past decade.
Duh, buy and hold didn't take much time out of my decades.
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Old 06-10-2009, 08:38 PM   #10
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File under "Can't Make This Stuff Up": AARP says 28 percent of Americans spent more time watching reality TV last month than they spent planning their retirement over the entire past decade.

Um...what is Reality TV ?
Is it on the Science Channel? Which night?
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Old 06-10-2009, 09:52 PM   #11
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I have lots of unwanted opinions. Somehow it has not granted me guru status.

Can I be Bhagwan?
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Old 06-11-2009, 07:13 PM   #12
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Thanks for providing the links, Nords. I just read them and I enjoyed reading them. I am the type of person who likes to read and contemplate, even though I might have read most of the stuff before this. I guess that it is good to revisit things from time to time.

I think that a lot of people do not contemplate what their retirement will be like. Frankly, I am somewhat concerned for my DH's retirement. He used to enjoy hunting, fishing and volunteering as a firefighter, EMT, Hazmat. He has always been into muscle cars and was extremely active and going here and there. He still enjoys his car and he belongs to a car club, but is not happy with the car club. He does not have a lot to do with his family or mine. He has 1 person that is his close friend. He only goes fishing a few times a year. He goes to work and most nights comes home and falls asleep in front of the tv. I am the one that does 90% of the talking in our relationship. He says that he doesn't have anything to say, when I try to get him to talk to me. (Sounds like we need to do some work on our relationship, right?)

I think that the articles are probably annoying to you, because you simply can't relate to what they are saying. I could very well be wrong, but I think that you have so many different activities and interests in a wide variety of things, that it is hard for you to contemplate that such hand holding is needed. The articles probably bore you to tears and for others of us, it makes us think about our fears.

Anyways, thanks for posting them.
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Old 06-11-2009, 07:49 PM   #13
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Having read these, I thought I'd try to attempt a new Interweb acronym. Instead of ROTFLMFAO I thought GMAFB. Google told me I'm too late, so I'll use it anyway, GMAFB. Or WTFC or....
Why can't I:
  1. do whatever I want
  2. do nothing
  3. piss off people who still have to work
  4. refuse to pay people who want to tell me what to do
  5. set a new world record (if I so desire)for
  • sloth
  • lust
  • gluttony
  • pride
  • whatever
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Old 06-11-2009, 08:08 PM   #14
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Kumquat, you should go for a grand slam - be proud of your sloth, lust and gluttony!!

But watch out for sloth -- it interferes something awful in committing the other deadly sins

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Old 06-11-2009, 08:14 PM   #15
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Ya, I just can't be bothered to be a lecherous glutton, but I sometimes try.
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Old 06-11-2009, 08:30 PM   #16
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I read all the tips and thought they were interesting reading . I went into retirement with no real plans just a vague outline and it has worked out fine .I just add activities as needed .
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Old 06-12-2009, 08:50 AM   #17
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I took a quick look at the links. My first impression was, while this may be useful to some, there is really nothing new here. I have seen just about all of this covered better, and from more angles, here on ER.org.

Volume 11 - "When Sparks Fly" did give me a giggle. This focuses on how couples have to adjust to being around each other more in retirement. It discusses a case where the DH actually bought the condo next door so he and DW could be apart the hours he would have been at work. So now I'm thinking DH and I shouldn't sell our rental....I'll just move him into it when he retires
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Old 06-12-2009, 09:00 AM   #18
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Quote:
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Volume 11 - "When Sparks Fly" did give me a giggle. This focuses on how couples have to adjust to being around each other more in retirement. It discusses a case where the DH actually bought the condo next door so he and DW could be apart the hours he would have been at work. So now I'm thinking DH and I shouldn't sell our rental....I'll just move him into it when he retires
I'm NOT going to show DW that, wouldn't want to give her any ideas. Besides, if she wants her space, I always have the local golf course........
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Old 06-12-2009, 09:15 AM   #19
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I'm NOT going to show DW that, wouldn't want to give her any ideas. Besides, if she wants her space, I always have the local golf course........
Hmmm, you've given me an alternative idea. DH might get golf clubs and lessons for his retirement gift from me
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Old 06-12-2009, 09:44 AM   #20
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Hmmm, you've given me an alternative idea. DH might get golf clubs and lessons for his retirement gift from me
Now THAT's LOVE!!
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