Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Secret Retirement?
Old 04-10-2007, 09:02 PM   #1
Full time employment: Posting here.
mountaintosea's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 553
Secret Retirement?

I read a post on this board where the poster retired but did not tell anyone.
How many of you have RE'd and kept quiet about it? And why have you decided to retire without telling family etc?

I'm asking this question because I've thought about not telling family members when I retire. I'm concerned that my retirement might mean their intrusion.
__________________

__________________
mountaintosea is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Re: Secret Retirement?
Old 04-10-2007, 09:50 PM   #2
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 11,614
Re: Secret Retirement?

This subject comes up sometimes here. Many ER'd people don't tell acqaintances that they are retired--they might tell people that they are self-employed and then change the subject.

I would think it might be difficult not to tell family members--surely you can expect that somehow theyll learn (from a spouse, child, etc) unless everyone gets their cover story straight and lives it all the time. If making up a faux occupation for the family, some variant of "self-employed consultant" would probably be the best.
__________________

__________________
"Freedom begins when you tell Mrs. Grundy to go fly a kite." - R. Heinlein
samclem is online now   Reply With Quote
Re: Secret Retirement?
Old 04-10-2007, 10:33 PM   #3
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 8,615
Re: Secret Retirement?

Rather than say you are retired just say you are a "private investor". People can imagine that you day-trade, but so what?
__________________
LOL! is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Secret Retirement?
Old 04-10-2007, 10:40 PM   #4
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
 
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 11,614
Re: Secret Retirement?

Then they'll want to know the secret of your investing success and stock tips. But if you tell them you are a "logistics consultant" you'll never hear from them again. "Oh, I help customers add value by incorporating just-in-time throughput paradigms with an emphasis on metrics-based inteligent throughput modeling . . . blah-blah-blah" z z z z . . .

It could be fun to see just how long you can keep it going before they change subjects or leave.
__________________
"Freedom begins when you tell Mrs. Grundy to go fly a kite." - R. Heinlein
samclem is online now   Reply With Quote
Re: Secret Retirement?
Old 04-10-2007, 10:58 PM   #5
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 101
Re: Secret Retirement?

Quote:
Originally Posted by samclem
"Oh, I help customers add value by incorporating just-in-time throughput paradigms with an emphasis on metrics-based inteligent throughput modeling . . . blah-blah-blah" z z z z . . .
So funny, yet so true.

On topic: Don't tell! Why spoil another's day?, Beyond that, we are all Financial Managers.
__________________
There is never enough time, unless you're serving it. --Malcolm Forbes
FlogBlogger is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Secret Retirement?
Old 04-10-2007, 11:46 PM   #6
Recycles dryer sheets
aenlighten's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 275
Re: Secret Retirement?

I'm in portfolio management now. It's a real step up.
__________________
aenlighten is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Secret Retirement?
Old 04-11-2007, 12:31 AM   #7
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Pasadena CA
Posts: 2,694
Re: Secret Retirement?

Oh, I thought by secret retirement you meant not telling the boss

__________________
T.S. Eliot:
Old men ought to be explorers
yakers is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Secret Retirement?
Old 04-11-2007, 02:00 AM   #8
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 1,152
Re: Secret Retirement?

I am semi-FIREing this week. What I am telling people is that I am taking a year off and considering options after that. This has made things mercifully easy among co-workers. Among close friends, colleagues, and family, I am telling more, like my plans to possibly work overseas after a year or two.

But if I was just plain, flat out retiring without any plans or desire for future work of any kind, it would be tougher to explain because I am 40-ish young.

The taking a year off and thinking about things works really well, especially if you have plans to tell people about (for me, it is some exciting upcoming trips and changing living locations and reconnecting with distant family/friends). Of course, in my case, that is 100% true.

Kramer
__________________
kramer is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Secret Retirement?
Old 04-11-2007, 02:17 AM   #9
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Mesa
Posts: 3,588
Re: Secret Retirement?

When I retired I thought I would enjoy telling everyone I was retired. Mostly, I did. But I hadn't counted on the fact that my blue collar, hard-working family might find it awkward telling people that their son or nephew was no longer working. My parents and aunts and uncles never said anything to me about it, but on a couple of visits back home I noticed how they handled it when people talked to me about my early retirement and I could see that they struggled. Don't get me wrong. They would have stood up and fought for my right to do whatever I wanted. But I could see that my early retirement put them in an awkward position and that really did bother me.

My writing and editing now provides a cover story for them. Forget about the fact that I'm a volunteer editor-in-chief and make nothing for that job, or that my books don't earn me one-tenth of the income that I made when I was working. The family all has a copy of the latest issue or Microwave Magazine and Engineering Your Retirement, and if anyone asks what I'm doing, they can show them these things and satisfy everyone.
__________________
sgeeeee is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Secret Retirement?
Old 04-11-2007, 07:48 AM   #10
Full time employment: Posting here.
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 718
Re: Secret Retirement?

Quote:
Originally Posted by aenlighten
I'm in portfolio management now. It's a real step up.
Ha thats a good one!
__________________
Mwsinron is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Secret Retirement?
Old 04-11-2007, 07:48 AM   #11
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
donheff's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 8,633
Re: Secret Retirement?

Quote:
Originally Posted by samclem
...But if you tell them you are a "logistics consultant" you'll never hear from them again. "Oh, I help customers add value by incorporating just-in-time throughput paradigms with an emphasis on metrics-based inteligent throughput modeling . . . blah-blah-blah" z z z z . . .
A bunch of my former co-workers are now at LMI (formerly, Logistics Management Institute) and this is exactly what they do - pays well.
__________________
Every man is, or hopes to be, an Idler. -- Samuel Johnson
donheff is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Secret Retirement?
Old 04-11-2007, 08:01 AM   #12
Confused about dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 2
Re: Secret Retirement?

I told only my parents that i was packing it in at 37. I thought they would be proud of me, I guess, but I get the feeling they resent me for it. They had to open their big mouths and tell the rest of my family about it, so now I get my chops busted at every turn ("you're just lazy"," you lucky *$^%", "you're too young to quit", "it's not fair", etc.) I also get the feeling like they expect me to provide for them, as I have more $$ than them... and I get the "just go buy that ___, you can afford it" and it is starting to drive me nuts.

Now I am working on the backpeddling to shut them all up. I have gotten a part-time job or two (out of interest of doing something with my time) and am telling them that I really am just changing to another line of work, and that it is the equivalent of full time work... (or so I am saying)

Based on the feedback I have gotten from family, I am not telling anyone else my true situation. I am proud of it, but I don't feel like being hounded or putting up with any other negative crap about it - it just turns me off.

You can explain it, or try to, but those who aren't like the posters here just won't get it. Secret? Yeah. I have learned to tell others what I perceive they will understand and what they can handle.
__________________
ff93 is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Secret Retirement?
Old 04-11-2007, 09:12 AM   #13
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 2,119
Re: Secret Retirement?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ff93
I told only my parents that i was packing it in at 37. I thought they would be proud of me, I guess, but I get the feeling they resent me for it. They had to open their big mouths and tell the rest of my family about it, so now I get my chops busted at every turn ("you're just lazy"," you lucky *$^%", "you're too young to quit", "it's not fair", etc.) I also get the feeling like they expect me to provide for them, as I have more $$ than them... and I get the "just go buy that ___, you can afford it" and it is starting to drive me nuts.

Now I am working on the backpeddling to shut them all up. I have gotten a part-time job or two (out of interest of doing something with my time) and am telling them that I really am just changing to another line of work, and that it is the equivalent of full time work... (or so I am saying)

Based on the feedback I have gotten from family, I am not telling anyone else my true situation. I am proud of it, but I don't feel like being hounded or putting up with any other negative crap about it - it just turns me off.

You can explain it, or try to, but those who aren't like the posters here just won't get it. Secret? Yeah. I have learned to tell others what I perceive they will understand and what they can handle.
My father is 77 and when I told him I was bailing from the job force at 50 he was drinking a toast to me!

He has had two bypass operations lost half a lung to some odd disease, he says hey how much money do you think you need?? Then he says enjoy everyday the stress and hassles from jobs that have little meaning in the long term are well jobs one should leave as soon as you can.

I love my life right now, been Erd for 3 months and do some part time sub teaching and coach a track team but there is no stress none!

i feel so much better, and get this I can pay my bills and have money left over every month.

Go figure. after all the mashing of numbers it seems to have worked out!
__________________
newguy88 is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Secret Retirement?
Old 04-11-2007, 09:17 AM   #14
Recycles dryer sheets
LeatherneckPA's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Williamsport
Posts: 489
Re: Secret Retirement?

Quote:
Originally Posted by sgeeeee
...I hadn't counted on the fact that my blue collar, hard-working family might find it awkward telling people that their son or nephew was no longer working....
My mother takes great pleasure in upsetting my father. It usually goes something like this.

"Our youngest, Jack, is still with the Marines and just made LtCol. Next is Tom, and he just got promotoed to Chief Electrician for the county hospital. Kenny is a wonderful auto mechanic and has been running his own business for ten years now. And our oldest, Michael, well he's still in prison."

Guess which one I am!?

Dad immediately chimes in with, "Dammit Louise, he WORKS there! He's NOT an inmate." Now Dad's a pretty smart cookie, but somehow she manages to get him every time with this one.

I would imagine that when I retire she'll just change the line to , "And our oldest, Michael, he just got out of prison."
__________________
"Iron" Mike - Semper Fi
Jack of all trades; Master of none.
LeatherneckPA is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Secret Retirement?
Old 04-11-2007, 09:45 AM   #15
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
haha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 22,380
Re: Secret Retirement?

Quote:
Originally Posted by retiredbop
I would imagine that when I retire she'll just change the line to , "And our oldest, Michael, he just got out of prison."
In your case then, at least your Mother should be very happy when you retire.

Ha
__________________
"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
haha is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Secret Retirement?
Old 04-11-2007, 10:15 AM   #16
Full time employment: Posting here.
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 577
Re: Secret Retirement?


I don't think anyone in my family would take it well, so I say nothing.

My friends are happy for me.
__________________
kat is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Secret Retirement?
Old 04-11-2007, 05:58 PM   #17
Full time employment: Posting here.
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 944
Re: Secret Retirement?

This has been a tough one for me. I have told my closer friends and they have been great...and they call me on their days off to do stuff -

I have not told my family yet. They all are on the east coast so they have no "signs". We are going on a long trip starting early May to visit them and the country in general. I still am not comfortable telling them. A good example is my brother and his wife. He was w/ the Navy for 30 years and retired as a full bird Cl. and his wife 30 years Navy out as a Major and they both still work full time despite their pensions and little debt. I know my mother would not understand and think that I was lazy... and it would open a floodgate of questions that I am not comfortable answering - not their business. I am not going to lie....but will employ the "don't ask - don't tell approach. I do plan on asking my bro WHY he keeps working tho! It really bothers me that I can't share such a great development in my life w/ my family - they were the first I called w/ all others (engagement, promotion etc)
__________________
Freed at 49. You only live once - live it
Donzo is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Secret Retirement?
Old 04-11-2007, 06:21 PM   #18
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 1,072
Re: Secret Retirement?

Oh my gosh - a retired 30 year O-6 and retired 30 year O-4 - sheesh - they are raking it in.......Deserat
__________________
Deserat aka Bridget
“We sleep soundly in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would do us harm.” - George Orwell/Winston Churchill
deserat is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Secret Retirement?
Old 04-11-2007, 06:56 PM   #19
Moderator Emeritus
Nords's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Oahu
Posts: 26,616
Re: Secret Retirement?

Quote:
Originally Posted by deserat
Oh my gosh - a retired 30 year O-6 and retired 30 year O-4 - sheesh - they are raking it in.......Deserat
Yeah, that grabbed my attention too.

Lemme put that into perspective for the rest of the board. Assuming that their retirement even remotely resembles the Jan 2007 pay tables, which anecdotally I believe it does, that works out to roughly $81K + $56K per year. Plus a full COLA and full Tricare health insurance, which will cost the pair of them a total of $40/month (plus a $12 copay) until they're Medicare eligible.

It's not about the money. If they're still working full time then I bet it's hard to spend it fast enough.
__________________
*
*

The book written on E-R.org, "The Military Guide to Financial Independence and Retirement", on sale now! For more info see "About Me" in my profile.
I don't spend much time here anymore, so please send me a PM. Thanks.
Nords is offline   Reply With Quote
Re: Secret Retirement?
Old 04-11-2007, 07:00 PM   #20
Recycles dryer sheets
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 242
Re: Secret Retirement?

I've seen this thread a couple times before...

I think the point is, if you look less than 50 years old, people will think you are either (1) rich or (2) a drug dealer. Neither of which is desirable for your neighbors to think (anybody see "In Cold Blood"? - people thought the Clutter family in Kansas was super rich in 1959 and killed them only to find $10 or so).
__________________

__________________
Sparky is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Tax Policy Promotes "Early" Retirement REWahoo FIRE and Money 19 07-21-2017 03:10 PM
Who pays more income taxes in retirement? LOL! FIRE and Money 19 12-17-2006 04:16 PM
Vanguard Adding More Target Retirement Funds Lusitan FIRE and Money 23 03-21-2006 07:17 PM
Targeted retirement funds - I don't get it. HBH FIRE and Money 7 03-11-2006 02:58 PM
Scott Burns: Stay safe on retirement spending PL FIRE and Money 49 12-22-2004 11:59 AM

 

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 08:36 PM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.