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Old 02-21-2015, 01:45 PM   #41
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Except for my wife, I did not discuss my plans to retire early with anyone. My work contract ended and I just started staying home. So there was no attempt to dissuade me. People thought that I was just looking for another job. Over time, they realized that I was doing very well without a job and any expectation of me going back to work faded. So, in a way, I retired on the sly.
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Old 02-21-2015, 01:47 PM   #42
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It's not an answer to these people, but perhaps a different way to look at the issue of age at retirement. Most of us have to work to achieve FI. Some of us enjoyed what we did or do. Others not so much. So you have working years and the retirement years (which might mean entirely different work or pursuits, or a lotta liesure). The switch from working to retirement can occur very early for some, maybe not at all for others. But for most of us the day comes when we can bail.

So if retirement is desirable (and yeah, I know, there are those who want to work until death or they get booted out because they've just become non-functional) then just why is it that some people frown on doing it before, say, 65? I've considered my bail at 60 that was unexpected (and therefore a bit of a struggle at first) and decided that I'd much rather "struggle" with the transition while young enough to chase different pursuits and develop a new life style. I'd like to be this healthy at 70 or 75, but chances are I'd have a lot less resilience and desire to chase a "new life" if I walked out of work then. I think too many people think retirement means worn out, no longer fully capable, and ready and willing to be put out to pasture. I'd rather walk out with bounce in my step, fully functional, yeah maybe fed up with the damn place, and when confronted with a dash of boredom all the mental faculties and physical capabilities it takes to ... go find something fun to do. Not ONE time has it crossed my mind to look for work.

My bet is most people who frown on ER are ones who cannot conceive how it would be financially feasible for them to do it themselves.
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Old 02-25-2015, 05:38 PM   #43
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I've never felt the need for approval (at least on my ER) but I think some people just lack imagination and can't envision a life that doesn't revolve around a job. In a way, sad for them.

If it helps, let me offer my own "Good for you!"
^^^THIS^^^

I retired from a international company with a rigid conservative culture. Thinking on your own was very much frowned upon. Reading from the company script 24/7/365 was the only way to survive much less get ahead. Your career was expected to be your life's focus. The result was that no one did anything without approval and they let it seep into their personal life (if they had one) as well.

Being an independent thinker I didn't fit in and ended up on the carpet many times. Working in R&D and having skills that the company's other workers didn't have was what kept me employed.
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Old 02-25-2015, 06:01 PM   #44
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Open hand; reach over shoulder; pat gently on back of shoulder.


There, you now have the one expression of approval that counts most.
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Old 02-26-2015, 03:19 AM   #45
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Well done, enjoy yourself!

If you want approval, you have to look at people who share your goals.
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Old 02-26-2015, 08:09 AM   #46
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Except for my wife, I did not discuss my plans to retire early with anyone. My work contract ended and I just started staying home. So there was no attempt to dissuade me. People thought that I was just looking for another job. Over time, they realized that I was doing very well without a job and any expectation of me going back to work faded. So, in a way, I retired on the sly.
+1 I did similar. It's important to get buy-in from one's spouse, but it's nobody else's business. It also helped a lot that I was already hanging out with a group of retired/ERd friends who understood completely. And for those who did ask questions, I just gave them the impression that the break from w*rk was temporary.
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Old 02-26-2015, 12:14 PM   #47
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I had only one person my age say I was too young. A few months later he collapsed at work and died.
+1

My BF has been involuntarily RE'd for 3 years now but doing ok.

He just turned 65 and someone told him "now that you're 65 you can be retired without being embarrassed about it..."

There's so much I want to say about that comment but I don't even know where to start.
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Old 02-26-2015, 01:27 PM   #48
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Originally Posted by FIREd View Post
Except for my wife, I did not discuss my plans to retire early with anyone. My work contract ended and I just started staying home. So there was no attempt to dissuade me. People thought that I was just looking for another job. Over time, they realized that I was doing very well without a job and any expectation of me going back to work faded. So, in a way, I retired on the sly.
ha ha ha...

That is exactly what I did with all my neighbours, One even gave me advice on some nice minimum jobs she thought might be available !
I did appreciate the kind thought.
I'll bet some are doing a tsk tsk over the fact I just bought a brand new automobile, while still not working for a year.....
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Old 02-26-2015, 01:38 PM   #49
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My mother was incredibly supportive, to the point of saying that I was doing too much volunteer "work" after I ER'd. I think my sister is a bit envious, but she knows that our dad retired at 55 so she understands why. I really don't know how DH's family feels, although now that one of his younger brothers (about my age) has also retired there's not much to discuss.

As others have mentioned, getting your spouse on board is the only one that really matters. Perhaps going through some exercises together in a book like "The Joy of Not Working" (by Ernie J Zelinski) would help?
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Old 02-26-2015, 01:39 PM   #50
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Thinly disguised sexism, I'd say. I bet RE women never hear that.

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Quote:
Originally Posted by marko View Post
+1

My BF has been involuntarily RE'd for 3 years now but doing ok.

He just turned 65 and someone told him "now that you're 65 you can be retired without being embarrassed about it..."

There's so much I want to say about that comment but I don't even know where to start.
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Old 02-26-2015, 01:42 PM   #51
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If you are looking for approval, and your wife does not agree, I have to wonder are you positive beyond a doubt, that you are financially set or just self deluding ?

Prove it to your wife that you don't need the income, and she cannot have any arguments against it.

Personally speaking as an example, if my plan included taking SS at age 62 (and I'm healthy), then I would not consider myself ready.

Remember your wife may have concerns since she will likely outlive you, that you are going to be short changing her survivor SS payments as its based on 35 years of work.
Now if you were highly paid, that does not matter and you can prove to her via the SS site, that even working 5 more years would add barely anything to your SS.


35 years
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Old 02-28-2015, 01:16 PM   #52
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They are right about everything except "you will miss it badly!"

Joking aside, it is hard to break the cycle of seeking approval. We are trained to do that our whole lives.

But I bet all of them would do it in a heartbeat if they had the means and courage.


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