Oldbabe and Haha, You both kind of asked the question, "Is it better to live life in a different country when you are single – and why?".
Well obviously the first prerequisite is you are unhappy with your life in the US. Many single people in the age of early retirement dislike the social mechanisms commonly used in the US for meeting new people. Most of the common ways have been listed above.
But I was also really tired of other parts of the US lifestyle. Much of the social life revolves around work. If you don’t work, your day-to-day activities can be pretty boring – especially if you are on a budget. I was really tired of dialing 1-800 numbers with answering machines waiting for hours to talk to someone; tired of cooking and cleaning for myself. I was even got tired of my friends who I had known for years, but who seem distant after I got divorced. Every day was like “groundhogs day” – the same thing happened over and over again.
The next important step is to find a country that suits you. I’m one of those people who never plan a trip in advance – I travel from place to place and quickly leave the places I don’t like and spend more time in places that suit me..
In my travels, I discovered the Indonesian people to be very friendly, receptive to meeting foreigners, and to my eyes the women are very attractive. Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, and assuming one of your goals is to find a new partner in life, it is essential that you find the people your newly adopted country reasonably attractive.
Now why is a foreign country better for older single people? The broadest answer is because as a foreigner, you face a lot fewer social barriers and customs that you “must follow”. Have you ever noticed how much social customs rule your life in the US? The kind of clothes that you wear, the kind of car you drive, every part of your life is controlled by an unwritten rule book. It is very difficult to break out of those social customs.
In a foreign country, there is a language difference. People don’t expect you to wear the same clothes that they wear, in fact they really expect you to act a lot differently. This means you have more choices and more freedoms – and hence fewer opportunities to fall into the old relationship traps. Fewer social boundaries mean you can accept or reject most activities simply because you are a stranger in a foreign land. No one has written the social rulebook.
For me, I really wanted my free time so I can read books, do some writing and keep my own schedule. I want to stay up late at night and sleep late in the morning. I want the opportunity to do what I want without a schedule. I also like pretty girls in my life – I like to hear them laugh. Plus, I want some of them to be candidates as a girlfriend and eventual spouse. I want to walk outside and see and talk to people I know. The single life in the US can be very isolating.
Money is another factor that cannot be denied. Even on a modest retirement income, you are considered wealthy. The young women have heard stories of other women who are happily married to men of European decent. These men have a reputation for being kind, interesting, and generous. Plus, it is socially acceptable for an older man (or women) to meet, talk, and show a romantic interest with some younger person of the opposite sex.
I know this explanation does not fully describe why I am happily retired living outside the US. Undoubtedly, my personality and preferences also enter into the equation. However, for anyone who is single and is having trouble finding happiness in their current surroundings, remember the world is a big place and happiness can be found in many places.
