So how do you retire then?

nuke_diver said:
I don't know your friends but all of my friends were both jealous (because I could and they couldn't) and ecstatic for me. No one will likely think less of you and I would venture if they do you probably don't need/want them as friends...
Click to expand...

+1 to this.
I'm also very recently in your situation and about the same age. Coming from a high risk/high exposure role with large-ish public company, and my last day is July 3.

When I gave notice a while ago, the reactions were the same as described (largely) by nuke_diver.

FWIW I agree w the other posters that you don't have to 'do nothing' and may decide to do something else. One of my good friends coined a great phrase for it: he 'wants to work for someone who can't afford [him]". That may be a great outlet if you simply want to do a different and perhaps more rewarding role.
 
The OP has received a lot of good advice here.

on the question of happiness, Richard Bach I think put it best “If your happiness depends on what somebody else does, I guess you do have a problem.”

I have been known a workaholic all my career. I RE earlier this year and many of my friends and co-workers figured that I'd be back in a couple weeks or months. No such doing. The one thing I did was to make a list of things I thought I wanted to do... or thought I did want to do. I've been down selecting and prioritizing to figure out what I will do... and I know I can always change my mind.
Think about what you might want to do in the following:
  • making the world a better place-- charity
  • keeping your mind engaged -- what do you want to learn
  • keeping your body working-- exercise, etc
  • socialize -- we all need human interaction
  • spritual - stay active in your beliefs... whatever they are
 
It takes a while to be deprogrammed. Since you were a child you have had someone else tell you what to do and when to do it. Freedom is scary. Look at long-time inmates that want to just stay in jail when offered a parole.

And unless you replaced Mother Teresa, your work is not that important and you won't really be missed for long, if at all.
 
Danmar said:
Yes this may be one of the most important benefits. More time for fitness activities and easier to eat better.
Click to expand...

+1

I've had health issues for the last several years. Finally I got scared enough to follow my Dr's suggestions. I used to rationalize I didn't have time to do the work. Now I realize I don't have the time, to not do the work.

It's disgusting to me how I let w*rk change my priorities. If I'd dropped over dead on the j*b some folks might be a little sad for a couple of days. Then back onto the same hamster wheel going in mindless circles.

Lots of great advice in this thread. Ever bit of of it true.
 
I didn't think of ER until I found this forum last year soon after I sold one of the the two businesses I owned.

There was a chain of events that led me to finalize my decision:

1. My dad passed away early last year at age 83--made me realize that we all have finite time on earth, it is best to enjoy the time doing something I like to do instead of just working to make more & more money.

2. Later in the year 2014 I had a gallbladder attack-they removed my gall bladder. Those four days in the hospital made me realize that I may not even last as long as my dad lived and decided that I must sell my business & ER soon.

3. Thereafter another wake up call came in December 2014--this time it was my lower back and the sciatic nerve that pretty much left me incapable of walking more than a couple of blocks

I finally realized that my sedentary, high stress lifestyle had created health issues for me and unless I made major changes in my lifestyle I may never be able to enjoy the retirement that I so eagerly dreamed about.

I have now listed my business for sale and expect to sell it within 12-24 months. Have reduced my working hours from 10+/day to 5-6 hrs/day, joined a gym and started working out 5 days a week. Have started cooking my own healthy meals with fresh ingredients.

I now feel better and lighter than I have ever felt. Know for sure that I can fill my days with meaningful activities that do not involve working for a living. Looking forward to ER as soon as my business sells.

You too will figure it out soon.
Cheers. :)
 
A lot of your concern may simply be fear of the unknown. You've been conditioned all your life to work, and you feel safe knowing that you have a job, paycheck, etc, and falling into a regular routine.


Retiring, whether it be early or not, is a major lifestyle change, so it's natural to be apprehensive and have concerns about it. But, once you transition into it, and it becomes your regular routine, you'll probably wonder why you didn't bail out of the workforce earlier!


Here's something else to think about...while people are living longer, they're not always living longer, healthier. So the early years of your retirement are most likely going to be your best...your healthiest, your most active, etc. Chances are, your 60's are going to be a slowdown from your 50's, and your 70's are going to be less active and "meaningful" than your 60's, and so on.


Anyway, you might not be quite ready to retire right now, but when the time really feels right, you'll know it.
 
Thank you all for your further thoughts. I'm really torn to be honest. It is fear - mostly that I won't 'make the most' of the time.
I do feel a sense of excitement at the freedom and possibilities (slightly tempered by the fact that my freedom is currently constrained by caring responsibilities for children and elderly relatives).
I suppose part of it is sadness at giving up my career, which hasn't really reached the heights I had hoped - and I certainly don't want my retirement/next phase of life to be blighted by feelings of failure. My career progression has really run into the sand lately, and I feel demotivated and burned out - but I want to retire for positive rather than negative reasons. (In other words, I want to jump rather than be pushed!)


Sent from my iPad using Early Retirement Forum
 
Bamaman said:
What will I do all day? Take up a hobby. Do volunteer work. Finish all those projects you've been putting off at home. I work harder now than when working.
Click to expand...

Since I retired at end of last year I've already lost 10 pounds just with PT volunteer work and doing projects around the home. Feel much better now that I'm not chained to a desk job 5 days a week.

OP always consider your health and how it will benefit once you ER.
 
Can you ease into retirement by working part time?

I still put in 16 hours a week at my old employer. I like the extra money, the work is OK, and I have zero "political" concerns.

Believe it or not, though, I am starting to grudge those 16 hours. Now that I'm paying attention to many things that I used to "let go" because work came first, there is more to do than I ever dreamed!

Amethyst
 
well, I already work 'part time' (Officially 30 hours a week, but if I include commuting and additional hours at home, it's probably at least 36 hours a week) - but it's essentially a full time role and objectives/expectations are not much less than full time colleagues (probably many of whom don't know I am not full time, it's the sort of job where many people work from home and many are workaholics ). I think there is probably zero likelihood of being able to reduce my hours further within the current job. It is just possible I could get some part time contracting work (I mean really part time, maybe 1-2 days a week), and I may investigate this further.


Sent from my iPad using Early Retirement Forum
 
Rickt said:
I didn't think of ER until I found this forum last year soon after I sold one of the the two businesses I owned.

There was a chain of events that led me to finalize my decision:

1. My dad passed away early last year at age 83--made me realize that we all have finite time on earth, it is best to enjoy the time doing something I like to do instead of just working to make more & more money.

2. Later in the year 2014 I had a gallbladder attack-they removed my gall bladder. Those four days in the hospital made me realize that I may not even last as long as my dad lived and decided that I must sell my business & ER soon.

3. Thereafter another wake up call came in December 2014--this time it was my lower back and the sciatic nerve that pretty much left me incapable of walking more than a couple of blocks

I finally realized that my sedentary, high stress lifestyle had created health issues for me and unless I made major changes in my lifestyle I may never be able to enjoy the retirement that I so eagerly dreamed about.

I have now listed my business for sale and expect to sell it within 12-24 months. Have reduced my working hours from 10+/day to 5-6 hrs/day, joined a gym and started working out 5 days a week. Have started cooking my own healthy meals with fresh ingredients.

I now feel better and lighter than I have ever felt. Know for sure that I can fill my days with meaningful activities that do not involve working for a living. Looking forward to ER as soon as my business sells.

You too will figure it out soon.
Cheers. :)
Click to expand...

Impressive. Congratulations on taking positive action after listening to all the warning signs.
 
collingwood said:
Thank you all for your further thoughts. I'm really torn to be honest. It is fear - mostly that I won't 'make the most' of the time.
I do feel a sense of excitement at the freedom and possibilities (slightly tempered by the fact that my freedom is currently constrained by caring responsibilities for children and elderly relatives).
I suppose part of it is sadness at giving up my career, which hasn't really reached the heights I had hoped - and I certainly don't want my retirement/next phase of life to be blighted by feelings of failure. My career progression has really run into the sand lately, and I feel demotivated and burned out - but I want to retire for positive rather than negative reasons. (In other words, I want to jump rather than be pushed!)


Sent from my iPad using Early Retirement Forum
Click to expand...

Life is for living. That "sense of excitement" you mention was what I felt before I retired. It will likely build and build as you further consider your options and what things you might be doing with your remaining life if not having to work. As it builds, you will begin to realize that the concerns about your career are not so important and that you'd really rather be living your remaining time on this good earth doing other things. You are giving this some excellent thought and I think you'll know when the time is right.

With me, I had given retirement thought for a long time. Could have retired a few years before I did. But didn't for some of the same considerations you had in your original post. Then it just hit me one day due to a slow accumulation of small things that added up to a realization that retirement was a good step for me. The next day I notified my management and began the few weeks of work I needed to complete to feel good about leaving my job. Am now very happy in retirement and busier than I expected. Best wishes that you pick just that right time for you personally.
 
How did I retire? As the OP said, it is indeed difficult to let go of that paycheck. And most early retirees are in their 50s, hence at the top of their game and command good pays.

I had it easier than most folks, just due to circumstances. I worked sporadic part-time for 9 years, doing consulting and contracting work, after our startups failed. That got me used to having a few continuous months of freedom at a time, and the lack of steady income too. It was good training wheels.

Quitting cold turkey is indeed hard.
 
MRG said:
+1

I've had health issues for the last several years. Finally I got scared enough to follow my Dr's suggestions. I used to rationalize I didn't have time to do the work. Now I realize I don't have the time, to not do the work.

It's disgusting to me how I let w*rk change my priorities. If I'd dropped over dead on the j*b some folks might be a little sad for a couple of days. Then back onto the same hamster wheel going in mindless circles.

Lots of great advice in this thread. Ever bit of of it true.
Click to expand...
Me too. When I retired, I had 90 days to extend my key man insurance of $1.5. million without a physical. I had been climbing the 19 floors to our penthouse twice a day. I was in such good shape that the agent ordered a new physical and got better coverage from another company.

And the climbing became routine and easily done in any weather. Plus the second spouse was the beneficiary rather than the company. It was to compensate for my first wife getting all my pension when I die (although substantially less than $1.5 million).
 
Last edited:
- what will I do all day?
This will be a problem whether you retire now or later. Delaying only kicks the can down the road, doesn't solve the problem.

-what if I miss my job?
I hated my job, so for me it is a no brainer.

-am I really done with work - have I done all I want to?
If you have enough to survive on what is the problem?

- I feel guilty because my retirement fund has not been earned
Who cares if it is earned? Enjoy.

- I don't know how I would explain it to my friends, and I feel that it might create barriers and resentments.
Tell them they are losers and you won the game, then flip them off.

- is it really wise at my age to pull the plug on my human capital?
So you are holding the world up by your magnificent work? The world is big and you really don't matter to it.

- I feel already that my mind is not as sharp as it was, and I worry that without work pushing me I might just end up slumping into sloth…
These seem like excuses for someone who is afraid of change.

-I don't know, it just feels against the natural order not to be working whilst I am still able to. Perhaps that's just overblown Calvinistic work ethic (although, I should emphasise, I am NOT a workaholic - I haven't worked full time since my kids were born - but my job is quite demanding nonetheless)
Maybe you should keep working if retiring feels unnatural.

-I just wondered how many of you have these hangups, and do they go away once you finally get the courage to pull the plug.
Never had these hang ups so I couldn't tell you if they go away.
 
NW-Bound said:
How did I retire? As the OP said, it is indeed difficult to let go of that paycheck. And most early retirees are in their 50s, hence at the top of their game and command good pays.

Quitting cold turkey is indeed hard.
Click to expand...

Yes, cold turkey can be really hard. In my case I was able to slow down somewhat the year before I retired by working only 4 days a week. Even then it took maybe 2-3 years to really get the "job" out of my system. Hard not to define yourself by the "job" you do. Successful high paying "jobs" really require this, I think. Anyway, retired 9 years now and things have worked out very well.

My DW and I are consummate planners and this has really helped. We must have had a dozen spreadsheets projecting and planning financial aspects of our retirement. There were so many moving pieces it is really a little surprising that it all worked out pretty much as planned.

Think of this as a new phase, one that will come sooner or later. Plan to make it sooner. Take control.
 
I started gearing down for retirement 10 years before pulling the plug. Went from 55-60 hrs a week down to 8 over that time. And developed interests/hobbies to eat up my free time. After working 1-2 days a week for the last year, retiring was easy.


Sent from my iPad using Early Retirement Forum
 
It took a while for me, lack of proper planning on my part. As far as what to do all day, that's easy now. What did you do on summers when you were off from school? Before you started w*rking, even babysitting or mowing lawns! I play like I'm 12 years old again, hiking, walking, stop and talk to strangers, fishing, helping friends and strangers. We're all different but most have been told what to do for many years, j*bs, school, family commitments, your told what to do, by when.
 
REWahoo said:
It isn't like giving up smoking. For some of us it was easy - and exhilarating. :)
Click to expand...

No argument with "exhilarating" but if you had a very well paying, or responsible job that required a real emotional and intellectual commitment, quitting can be an emotional challenge. Worth it for sure but not usually easy.
 
Danmar said:
No argument with "exhilarating" but if you had a very well paying, or responsible job that required a real emotional and intellectual commitment...
Click to expand...

I did.

Danmar said:
...quitting can be an emotional challenge.
Click to expand...

Certainly it is for some, but for those of us who could separate the job from who we were, the emotion associated with retiring (early) was far more exciting than challenging. We're all wired differently...
 
MRG said:
It took a while for me, lack of proper planning on my part. As far as what to do all day, that's easy now. What did you do on summers when you were off from school? Before you started w*rking, even babysitting or mowing lawns! I play like I'm 12 years old again, hiking, walking, stop and talk to strangers, fishing, helping friends and strangers. We're all different but most have been told what to do for manyi years, j*bs, school, family commitments, your told what to do, by when.
Click to expand...
Yes, for all those years, one has commitments that take up all of one's time, and so one forgets how to have fun! Instead of calling it retirement, one may consider calling it going back to " the school of finding enjoyment in life". I was going to say "we are not born with the knowledge of how to have fun", but that's incorrect. We are, but we don't get to exercise it, and we simply can't execute effectively on having fun after being chained to the cube for so long; we forget how to have fun. And it doesn't have to be headonistic; your fun can be what someone else considers work. But be careful there, because we've had the " should" pushed on us, that we may try to fool ourselves into believing some "fulfilling" pursuit that sounds good to others is fun when it isn't.
 
I took a golden handshake 15 years before mandatory retirement. I worked for an extra 2 months to make their transition easier. But that got me cured of the corporate culture and work buddies. Two of my work buds worked the extra 15 years and then died 2 years later.

I spent 10 years as a management consultant with expertise in effecting corporate change. I resisted any jobs just taking assignments. I ended up in several executive positions as a consultant, including 2 CEO positions.

By the time of the last CEO position, I was ready. I did my serious planning after that last position to convince myself that I could live on my nestegg. Close active management of our portfolio for 2 years proved that we could make it. If I had believed FIRE, I would have stayed working, so the portfolio performance turned out to be key.
 
REWahoo said:
I did.



Certainly it is for some, but for those of us who could separate the job from who we were, the emotion associated with retiring (early) was far more exciting than challenging. We're all wired differently...
Click to expand...

Yes, I had a tough time separating career from "who I was". That's why I found it difficult. Good for you that it was easy. I guess it depends somewhat on the career. It would not have been easy to have the career I had without "becoming the job". You were lucky not to fall into that trap.
 
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