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Some surprises in the second month of retirement
Old 08-28-2019, 12:03 PM   #1
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Some surprises in the second month of retirement

I've been retired for two months now. I had some surprises in the first month, which I mentioned in a different thread. Here are some surprises I've had in the second month:


1. I don't want to move; I want to stay put. Before I retired, I figured I would probably end up moving. East TN was my main/best option. I took a trip to east TN recently, and I came away with the clear, firm conclusion that I did not want to move. That is no slight against east TN -- it is pretty and has a lot to offer. My reasons would transfer to other places as well, so it's not about east TN. I won't go into my reasons or feelings, because that isn't really relevant, but I'll say there was 100% head and heart alignment and no uncertainty about the decision.

I felt a big sense of relief, when I realized that I didn't want to move. Moving is a lot of work and hassle, and now I don't have to worry about it. Also, when I was planning to move, life sort of felt like it was on hold. Now I can invest my energies locally; I can "grow where I'm planted."

I also came away feeling a lot of gratitude and appreciation for my humble little abode and small city. Even the little things like my backyard, the quiet streets, and the friendly neighbors made me smile. I've been here 22 years, have some roots here, and it feels like home, at least more than any other place has. I'm not saying I'll never move -- maybe I'll come across some place in my travels that I just must live -- but for now and the foreseeable future, I'm staying put. I'm happy where I am.


2. Before I retired, I expected that after I retired, I'd become budget-conscious and concerned about spending too much money. After all, there would be no more paychecks. Uh oh!

But actually, what has happened is that I've become concerned that I am not spending enough money. When I look at my financial situation, I am absurdly well-covered. I've also seen several videos lately making a pretty good case that retirees are overly worried about spending their money, which is really self-defeating, in that it inhibits them from actually enjoying their retirement. It reminds me of my hospital experience, where I believe I had a message from the other side that said I should loosen up and spend my money, not be so concerned about it, enjoy it.

I'm not a materialistic person, and it doesn't take much stuff to make me happy. But I do think my simplicity/frugality gets the better of me sometimes. I worry unnecessarily about preserving my savings, when there is really very little to worry about. The math is very clear.

I can probably spend more on myself here and there, but as I said, I don't need a lot of stuff to make me happy. When I think of things to spend money on for myself, there isn't a lot that comes to mind -- maybe go on a cruise or go to an interesting conference? I don't know. I'm not self-depriving and I'm fine with spending more money on myself, if I come across something I really want. I'll keep my eyes open.

What I'm thinking more about, though, is charity. I am giving a lot of money to charity when I die, but I heard something that struck me: "It's better to give with a warm hand than a cold one." In other words, it's better to give while you're alive, rather than via a will. Makes sense. That way, you can enjoy the process of giving. If I'm honest with myself, I have to admit that sometimes I decline to contribute to a charity today because I know that, when I croak, I'll be giving them a boatload of money. But that's backwards.

So, I'm going to make an effort to spend more and worry less about frugality. I want to enjoy my retirement and not view it as some kind of triumph if I die with a big bank balance (yay?). And I've set a goal of quadrupling my charitable contributions, which is still not all that much compared to what I could do, but it's a start.


3. Bike riding. I haven't ridden a bike for 30 years, but I bought one a couple weeks ago, and I love it. I get out there every morning and pedal around town for 30-60 minutes. I'm up early enough so there isn't much traffic, and even in the summer it's cool that time of day. There are five or six different directions to explore and access to a 42-mile paved bike trail just a few streets down.

Within a few days, I knew I'd miss it if I couldn't take my morning bike ride. It really makes me feel good, getting that early exercise. I don't really intend it as exercise -- just a leisurely ride -- but it turns out to be exercise anyhow. I used to take walks in the morning, but I like the bike ride better. My body feels more relaxed afterwards. I also noticed about a 10-point drop in my blood pressure, right after I started the bike riding, which is great.


4. Travel has become less annoying and more appealing.. I guess I had a bit of a prejudice against travel before I retired, mostly due to my distaste for being in a car for more than about an hour or two. I'm talking about local travel here, not flying long distances. The driving put me off. It would make me antsy. But I noticed on my trip to east TN, I drove long distances (15 hrs one day), and it didn't bother me. I mean, it made my back crink up, but I didn't get impatient like I normally do.

I think maybe it's because, before I retired, my long drives were often sandwiched in between work weeks, so there was a sense of time being short or wasted on the road (e.g., "I've got five days off and I'm spending two of them on the road, grr."). But now I've got plenty of time, so who cares.

Whatever the reason, I feel more comfortable with long drives. The good thing about this is that it makes it easier for me to explore several moderate-sized cities within a couple hours, which somewhat compensates for me living in a small town. Also, I can take more trips to forests and parks, to other states, and so forth.


So those are this month's surprises. Thanks for reading along.
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Old 08-28-2019, 12:14 PM   #2
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Enjoy your posts, ER eddie, and following your retirement journey. Glad you are finding your happy place and balance in life.

Yes, relaxation was the biggest positive for me, also. I knew I was stressed, but not how much it was affecting me on a day to day basis. I enjoy taking time for driving trips now, when before it was stressful. I love to cook from scratch and now really enjoy grocery shopping and going to fresh food markets. Going out for walks with DH is way more pleasurable, rather than something we "had" to do each night before getting ready for work the next day.
Having every day be fresh and new and be able to decide what I want to do is the best!
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Keep 'em coming
Old 08-28-2019, 12:39 PM   #3
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Keep 'em coming

Thank you for your entries from over on the far side of Liberation Day.

When I began reading this forum, I was particularly interested in posts by people who were counting down to retirement. They would go over their plans -and fears - and discuss how they were trying to cover all the bases. Since I was still far enough out to make upgrades to my own strategy, that's what I wanted most to read.

But now as I'm close to my own exit date, I'm finding a lot of value in reading the experiences of the folks already in the Promised Land. Don't stop these updates, and in particular, please continue to be as forthcoming about the negative surprises as well as the positive ones.
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Old 08-28-2019, 12:47 PM   #4
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Thanks, pacergal. I relate to your comment about how walks and drives are more enjoyable now that the pressure is off. In particular, I used to enjoy the types of drives where you had plenty of time and freedom, and it was more about exploring than having a set schedule or itinerary. I want to get back into that sort of leisurely driving again.

Thanks, Mdlerth. I'm glad you find it valuable. I'll be honest about the struggles as well. Fortunately this was a good month, with no real problems.
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Old 08-28-2019, 01:05 PM   #5
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Enjoy your newfound freedom!

Deciding whether you're spending enough is a biggie - especially if you retired early. 30-40 years is a very long time & everything can change in that time. And irrespective of the complexity of models, there is no way to plan with near-absolute certainty. So are you wise to be conservative or not? It is hard to tell. I struggle with the same issue. I think its best to do what feels right & course correct along the way. Like you, we are not deprived. So I plan to enjoy every day and if, at the end, we find that we could have spent more - I will not regret my current decisions.
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Old 08-28-2019, 01:06 PM   #6
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I’m not surprised by any of your conclusions.

Having just moved I can attest that it’s a lot of work and expense, so you’ll probably be glad you’ve decided to stay put - there are certainly advantages both ways. You might change your mind, we moved 8 years after I retired. Just as nothing is cast in stone pre-retirement, changes will occur during retirement too.

However I wouldn’t draw any conclusions about anything in two months, especially not spending enough. IMO thats way too soon to draw any conclusions about spending, returns or any of the many variables. Hopefully you’ve planned for the big infrequent expenses like cars, homes, replacing major home systems, roofs, appliances, furniture, extra travel, medical surprises, etc. - but there will be unexpected expenses so I wouldn’t ramp up spending this early on - just my view.

You'll know more about spending during and after the next major market downturn(s), whenever they come. Your outlook may change in the middle of a financial meltdown...
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Old 08-28-2019, 01:29 PM   #7
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Great post Eddie, and I have found the same results on my move for now. I also have found that volunteering is a great pleasure for me along with giving what I can in contributions. The driving trips are a little different since my DW passed away, but I am going to continue the travel schedule to visit my kids in Colorado and Seattle.

Keep us informed as it is very enlightening to read about your early days of retirement.

Best to you,

VW
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Old 08-28-2019, 04:05 PM   #8
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Hey Ed, where do you live now?
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Old 08-28-2019, 11:39 PM   #9
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Great post! Thanks for keeping us informed of your journey. Not moving will definitely make the adjustment to ER easier. Maybe traveling more can take the place of moving so you can spend more money and experience new places while still having a familiar home that you’re happy with.

Glad your transition is going so well!
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Old 08-29-2019, 09:15 AM   #10
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I think many of us initially have anxiety over our initial spending rates. Like many I was not necessarily cheap but I needed some time to verify my spending rates versus the projections that I put together. Once I had somewhat of a comfort level I started treating myself to a few things. Now over three years into RE my spending anxiety is all but gone.

From a travel standpoint my biggest change was going from weekly travel (flying) to avoiding as many trips as possible. Some was the fact that I lost all my FF benefits but really I realized flying wasn't as luxurious as I had thought. So, I'm now working my way back into flying 5-6 times a year for vacation and family visits. Have also adjusted to being in the herd with all the other cattle.
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Old 08-29-2019, 10:34 AM   #11
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Hey Ed, where do you live now?
I'm in Hattiesburg, MS. It's a small city, probably 50K, maybe 100K if you include the surrounding areas. It has a university (USM), a couple smaller colleges, and it recently opened a medical school, so there is more of a youthful, educated feeling than you get in other parts of the state. We are also lucky to have an OLLI (adult education).

The city seems to be doing well. There's always development going on. Cost of living and taxes are low. It gets noticed sometimes in those "best small towns to retire" or "most livable city" lists that pop up now and then. It's a good place to raise a family. There's a sense of community, which I think is important.

It's called the "hub city" (I've noticed many cities are called the hub city), meaning that it is about 2 hours drive to New Orleans, Jackson, Mobile, or Gulfport/Biloxi. So if I want something the "big city" (or moderate-sized city) has to offer, I can get that without too much trouble.

The main downside is the heat and humidity in the summer. Come July and August, I just hide inside and hope the a/c holds out. I remember when Katrina came through and knocked the power out for about a week. I thanked God for whoever invented air conditioning, heh.

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Great post Eddie, and I have found the same results on my move for now. I also have found that volunteering is a great pleasure for me along with giving what I can in contributions. The driving trips are a little different since my DW passed away, but I am going to continue the travel schedule to visit my kids in Colorado and Seattle.

Keep us informed as it is very enlightening to read about your early days of retirement.

Best to you,

VW
Thank you, VW. Thanks to others who've chimed in as well.

I shall keep you informed, although I'm not sure if there will be any big surprises in month 3. Maybe it would be nice to have a surprise-free month for a change.

To be honest, although all of this is fun and exciting and healthy and growth-enhancing and all that good stuff, it is also kind of stressful. It's good, but also it is taxing, in a way. You know what they say about good changes being stressful, too. I feel like a lot is shifting/changing, and I've got a lot I want to do. Sometimes I just want things to hold still for a little bit while I catch up.

I try to give myself plenty of rest and relaxation. Music, naps, comedy, and just sitting outside in the backyard seem to help. Or just goofing off on social media or doing stuff that doesn't require much mental/emotional energy.

Oh, I forgot to mention that although I thought I might be interested in book clubs, that turned out to be a dead-end for me. The main reason was that I always have about 20 books that I want to read, and I don't want another book sandwiched in there, taking up time and energy -- especially fiction, which doesn't seem to add much to my life. The books they select seem to have a similar flavor. I hoped there would be more interpersonal interaction, but there wasn't a lot of that, more a topic-focused discussion, see you next month. Anyhow, the book club thing didn't really appeal to me.
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Old 08-29-2019, 11:10 AM   #12
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Nice post. Keep us updated going forward.
2 years for me and couldn't be happier. We moved to FLA for the weather (despite the hurricanes) and reduction of COL.
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Old 08-29-2019, 11:52 AM   #13
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ER Eddie - I admire your ability to realize you want to stay put! I think your reasoning would be interesting, but, no, am not asking you to share it. I *think* I want to move (to Fl I feel increasing trepidation about that location), but I will share one reason which I am not entirely comfortable with - I want to reinforce this wonderful feeling gained from FIRE that I am "starting over," or "in an entirely new stage of my life." Moving seems almost the easiest way to accomplish that - easier and less expensive than remodeling parts of my house, or developing a new community, etc. I'm pretty sure that feeling is an illusion. I'm trying to be self-analytical and ask myself questions about what it really means to me to "start over," and why I even phrase it that way.
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Old 08-29-2019, 12:41 PM   #14
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very nice post, Eddie...
sounds like you have hit the big "ahhhh......"

keep enjoying every day.
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Old 08-29-2019, 01:34 PM   #15
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ER Eddie - I admire your ability to realize you want to stay put! I think your reasoning would be interesting, but, no, am not asking you to share it. I *think* I want to move (to Fl I feel increasing trepidation about that location), but I will share one reason which I am not entirely comfortable with - I want to reinforce this wonderful feeling gained from FIRE that I am "starting over," or "in an entirely new stage of my life." Moving seems almost the easiest way to accomplish that - easier and less expensive than remodeling parts of my house, or developing a new community, etc. I'm pretty sure that feeling is an illusion. I'm trying to be self-analytical and ask myself questions about what it really means to me to "start over," and why I even phrase it that way.
That was part of my motivation, too -- the desire for a fresh start, a new adventure. I don't think that's a bad motivation, but I like your last sentence (what does it really mean to "start over"?). And how much does a change in geographic location have to do with what you're envisioning? I can't speak for you, because I don't know your values and reasons. I'll just say that when I got through the analyzing/imagining stage and actually confronted the prospect of moving, I did a complete 180. It was better in imagination than reality.

I won't go into all my reasons, but I'll touch on a few.

1. I realized I'd be paying twice as much for something I liked only half as much as what I had already. I didn't see the point of that.

2. I felt crowded and tense in these moderate-sized cities. I forgot what it was like to be in them -- not just to travel through them as a tourist, but to think of living there. When I was finally able to get out of them, my body sighed with relief. It was like I could breathe again.

3. While I was exploring, I found myself wondering, "Now why did I want to move to a bigger city again?" It was something to do with increased social and educational opportunities. But I could have the former if I were willing to drive a couple hours, and it wasn't clear the latter would be any better. I realized that I'm really not interested in most of the things a larger city offers (lots of people, social activities, art/musical events, big array of restaurants, nightlife, lots of "stuff to do," etc.). I did like the idea of being closer to mountains, but I can always visit; I don't have to move there.

So I had this very clear recognition that living in a city this size really didn't appeal to me. I guess it did on paper, but not in reality. It sure didn't worth all the time, trouble, and expense of moving.

4. I felt like a stranger in a strange land. The people were friendly enough, and I know that if I moved there, I'd eventually get past the initial adjustment period and feel more connected. But I'd have to pass through a period of isolation and disconnection. I felt homesick.

That's one of the main things that came out of the experience for me -- a real appreciation for where I am now. I know my neighbors. I know my postman. I have friends here, both two-legged and four-legged. I have a lot of good memories here. I've been here for decades. I like my humble little house. I love my backyard and the quiet, safe streets. People are friendly and there's a nice sense of community. It's not easy to just pick up and leave all that behind for a strange city where I don't know anyone. I really underestimated the importance of that factor.


By the way, I just saw an interesting stat from a large-scale study of retirees. Based on their data, only 1% of retirees have moved out of state within the previous 5 years. 15% of retirees have moved within in the last 5 years, but most of them are moving within the same county or city. Only 1% have moved to a different state.

So, it's actually quite rare for a retiree to move to another state. But who knows, you may be among the 1%. Best of luck whatever you decide.
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Old 08-29-2019, 01:47 PM   #16
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I am one of the 1% for reasons previously posted.
We also lived in a high rise with no retirees, so would feel more isolated if we stayed.
We have made many new friends, retired and working since we have been here for 2 years.
FLA was also always on our radar.
On the flip side, most of our family is still up North, but we deal with it.
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Old 08-29-2019, 02:56 PM   #17
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I've also seen several videos lately making a pretty good case that retirees are overly worried about spending their money...
Can you share which videos? I would like to watch them.
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Old 08-30-2019, 07:02 AM   #18
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Can you share which videos? I would like to watch them.
Sure, here you go. He takes a while to get to the point sometimes, but I appreciate his "contrarian" point of view. It helps to compensate for my normal worry-wartedness and the fear-mongering you get from the press and the retirement planning industry.

https://youtu.be/MZBN_KK_O7Q?list=LL...dFSf6HmVxotDVw

https://youtu.be/gctxcUtcrxc?list=LL...dFSf6HmVxotDVw
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Old 09-02-2019, 06:53 AM   #19
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4. Travel has become less annoying and more appealing.. I guess I had a bit of a prejudice against travel before I retired, mostly due to my distaste for being in a car for more than about an hour or two. I'm talking about local travel here, not flying long distances. The driving put me off. It would make me antsy. But I noticed on my trip to east TN, I drove long distances (15 hrs one day), and it didn't bother me. I mean, it made my back crink up, but I didn't get impatient like I normally do.

I think maybe it's because, before I retired, my long drives were often sandwiched in between work weeks, so there was a sense of time being short or wasted on the road (e.g., "). But now I've got plenty of time, so who cares.

Whatever the reason, I feel more comfortable with long drives.
I always felt rushed on trips before I retired...as you said: "I've got five days off and I'm spending two of them on the road, grr." Now my GF and I take long car trips and we both love them...it's no big deal to drive 12 hours one day, stay for 3 or 4 days, then drive 12 hours back home. We no longer consider the 2 days of driving "wasted" or cutting in to our vacation.

I also used to feel pressure to cram things into my limited time off and would schedule stuff to maximize the hours in a day. For example, I used to always golf early in the morning...7:00 AM if possible so that I'd be done and home by noon which gave me the rest of the day to do other things. While I still prefer that I no longer feel like I wasted half the day if I played at 11 (not really going to do very much in the morning) and didn't get home until supper time.
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Old 09-02-2019, 09:46 AM   #20
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By the way, I just saw an interesting stat from a large-scale study of retirees. Based on their data, only 1% of retirees have moved out of state within the previous 5 years. 15% of retirees have moved within in the last 5 years, but most of them are moving within the same county or city. Only 1% have moved to a different state.

So, it's actually quite rare for a retiree to move to another state. But who knows, you may be among the 1%. Best of luck whatever you decide.
5 years is far too limiting in determining if a retire moves out of state. A retiree might have relocated out of state 6 years ago, but he would count as one of the non-movers in that study.

I would quadruple all those percentages to be more accurate. The percentages among those who can actually afford it would be even higher as there is a large number of retirees that simply cannot afford to relocate.

I've had Tennessee on my radar also. Lower taxes, including lower property taxes, and warmer weather, more people but without the congestion, extreme heat, and hurricanes you get in Florida. But as I get closer to FIRE, I feel less motivated to make that move and feel there's a greater chance of staying in the same state within a 2 hour radius of my current location. I don't feel particularly attached to my current small city or the people in it, and I didn't grow up there - having been here less than 20 years.
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