Join Early Retirement Today
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
The High Cost of Socializing
Old 06-10-2008, 03:56 PM   #1
Full time employment: Posting here.
tangomonster's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 756
The High Cost of Socializing

When we were working, DH and I were complete introverts. Didn't have the energy or inclination to want to socialize. But shortly after FIRE, we found that we wanted to be with people and not just each other. Some of this may be due to having virtually unlimited time and energy. Some of it may have been due to not wanting to socialize with co-workers for various reasons and not knowing anyone else.

We've really been enjoying the socializing---but it doesn't come cheap! There's the cost of gas (except with neighbors in our development). There's often the cost of going to eat (which DH and I would do on our own at least once a week, but most people want to go to restaurants that are more costly than the ethnic dives we enjoy!). Even if you stay in and have a potluck or cook dinner for friends, it can be costlier than just cooking for the two of us (larger quantities and more expensive ingredients, sometimes). And we may have to break down and actually buy some board games since some friends seem to require this as part of getting together.

We never go to the movies and try to go to free, low-cost concerts, so that helps some. And I guess that if socializing is going to be our major leisure activity, it's not that bad if it costs some (the other stuff we like to do is free, like reading and walking).

So---what I'm looking for is reassurance that it's okay to spend a little money to socialize (give me your permission and blessing and don't kick me out of the frugal living club!)...or suggestions on how to minimize the costs of socializing....
__________________

__________________
“It is not a sign of good health to be well adjusted to a sick society”.------Krishnamurti
tangomonster is offline   Reply With Quote
Join the #1 Early Retirement and Financial Independence Forum Today - It's Totally Free!

Are you planning to be financially independent as early as possible so you can live life on your own terms? Discuss successful investing strategies, asset allocation models, tax strategies and other related topics in our online forum community. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. No matter where you fit in you'll find that Early-Retirement.org is a great community to join. Best of all it's totally FREE!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest so you have limited access to our community. Please take the time to register and you will gain a lot of great new features including; the ability to participate in discussions, network with our members, see fewer ads, upload photographs, create a retirement blog, send private messages and so much, much more!

Old 06-10-2008, 04:06 PM   #2
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,015
OK, I'll bite...you have my permission and blessing to spend a little money to socialize.

Seriously though, have you given any thought to volunteering for an organization whose cause you care about? In my area, groups are always looking for folks who are willing to give a few hours to help others -- and an added bonus is you get to meet some other nice folks who share a common passion. When I ran a non-profit, we always asked for volunteers to work our special events, which meant that those volunteers also got to attend the event for free.
__________________

__________________
Achiever51 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-10-2008, 04:09 PM   #3
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
bbbamI's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Dallas 'burb
Posts: 9,039
If it gives you pleasure...go for it! Pleasure should be a top priority in everyone's life.
__________________
There's no need to complicate, our time is short..
bbbamI is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-10-2008, 04:40 PM   #4
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
haha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Hooverville
Posts: 22,386
Quote:
Originally Posted by tangomonster View Post
So---what I'm looking for is reassurance that it's okay to spend a little money to socialize (give me your permission and blessing and don't kick me out of the frugal living club!)...or suggestions on how to minimize the costs of socializing....
Just be glad you are not single; it costs even more then.

It is almost impossible to find a bar in the popular parts of town that isn't hopping every night, from 6:00 or so until bedtime and beyond. A few nights ago my friend and I were looking for a place where we could talk and be heard. After 3 tries in one block we gave up and just shouted directly into one another's ears.

Somebody is sure spending a lot of money to take part in this public life. As we left and started down the sidewalk she commented on how nice it was to live someplace where there are so many young sociable people with plenty of money to spend. It just makes it easier to feel good.

Ha
__________________
"As a general rule, the more dangerous or inappropriate a conversation, the more interesting it is."-Scott Adams
haha is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-10-2008, 04:57 PM   #5
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Purron's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 5,584
Quote:
Originally Posted by tangomonster View Post
So---what I'm looking for is reassurance that it's okay to spend a little money to socialize (give me your permission and blessing and don't kick me out of the frugal living club!)...or suggestions on how to minimize the costs of socializing....
Tangomonster,

Enjoy your new found desire to socialize! ER is all about being able to live your life the way you want. One of the best things about it is spending time with people of your own choosing - not just folks you are thrown together with in the workplace. I know you are a frugal sort like me, but it's really OK to splurge a little.
__________________
I purr therefore I am.
Purron is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-10-2008, 05:22 PM   #6
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Moemg's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Sarasota,fl.
Posts: 10,037
Quote:
Originally Posted by tangomonster View Post
.

So---what I'm looking for is reassurance that it's okay to spend a little money to socialize (give me your permission and blessing and don't kick me out of the frugal living club!)...or suggestions on how to minimize the costs of socializing....

I've been thinking the same thing and have come to the conclusion that the cost is worth it to have close friendships especially as we age .
__________________
Moemg is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-10-2008, 05:40 PM   #7
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
dex's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 5,105
Quote:
Originally Posted by tangomonster View Post
So---what I'm looking for is reassurance that it's okay to spend a little money to socialize (give me your permission and blessing and don't kick me out of the frugal living club!)...or suggestions on how to minimize the costs of socializing....
Do you have a line item budget and can you describe it?
__________________
Sometimes death is not as tragic as not knowing how to live. This man knew how to live--and how to make others glad they were living. - Jack Benny at Nat King Cole's funeral
dex is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-10-2008, 06:20 PM   #8
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Minnehaha
Posts: 2,375
that's money well spent..we mix it up ...sometimes treat ourselves and venture out for more expensive outings and restaurants but mostly prefer the joints for music dancing beer and eats...the clubs we go to usually have no cover bands and cheap beer..sure beats staying home & watching too much TV...
__________________
MinnesotaEats - www.goodfoodmsp.com
Danny is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-10-2008, 06:23 PM   #9
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
donheff's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 8,649
Thats why I have a substantial portion of my planned expenses targeted to cover restaurant meals and food for guests. During our working days DW and I were so tired we would eat out about three days a week so we were prepared for this expense.
__________________
Every man is, or hopes to be, an Idler. -- Samuel Johnson
donheff is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2008, 12:57 PM   #10
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 3,323
I'm with Moemg as the cost is well worth it to me. But then, again, I'm a total extrovert and love being with people...just not all the time.
__________________
Please consider adopting a rescue animal. So very many need a furr-ever home and someone to love them! And if we all spay/neuter our pets there won't be an overpopulation to put to death.
Orchidflower is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2008, 01:13 PM   #11
Administrator
W2R's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New Orleans
Posts: 38,934
You know what I would do? I'd make my budget categories a little broader, and just assign the "socializing" expenses to the "entertainment and travel" type of expenses. You are already cutting back on movies and concerts and restaurants, after all.

The trump card here is that you have identified exactly what you really want. If you allow yourself what you really want, then you will be happier and probably consume less overall than otherwise. At least it seems to work that way for me.

So, ABSOLUTELY... like everyone else on the thread, I don't see a problem here!
__________________
Already we are boldly launched upon the deep; but soon we shall be lost in its unshored, harbourless immensities.

- - H. Melville, 1851
W2R is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2008, 01:15 PM   #12
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
Moemg's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Sarasota,fl.
Posts: 10,037
I'm not an extrovert but I can not imagine going thru life without entertaining at least occasionally . Someone mentioned in another thread about not having a party for many ,many years . I can't fathom how if you have a family or friends . I'm not a big party giver but I average at least four or five get togethers a year that I host . Sure it stretches the budget but those friendships & family are worth it to me .
__________________
Moemg is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2008, 01:31 PM   #13
Moderator Emeritus
 
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 11,044
I love to socialize with friends and family. Most of the time though we don't go out for dinner we invite people in our home (and we usually get invited in their home). Even though, when we invite people over we try to make it special and usually splurge on good food and wine. When we invite 4-6 people it is not unusual for us to spend $200-300 on the meal (more on special occasions like New Year's eve), even though I always prepare most everything from scratch. It might actually be cheaper to go out sometimes! But to me spending time around the table with good friends and family and enjoying delectable foods and wine is the pinnacle of happiness, so it is completely worth it. So as long as you enjoy socializing, go for it!
__________________
FIREd is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2008, 01:38 PM   #14
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
kcowan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Pacific latitude 20/49
Posts: 5,739
Send a message via Skype™ to kcowan
We find our expenses have shifted. More entertaining at each others' homes and shared fine dining experiences. We also do bocce picnics. Even tried a bowling party. That was a shock. Prices have shot up.

Parties tend to be smaller and more frequent. Dining has replaced fueling.
__________________
For the fun of it...Keith
kcowan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2008, 01:40 PM   #15
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 2,020
Get back in your hovel and eat your bean soup! No more socializing for you! This is the LBYM and ER board for goodness sake... not the "let's work forever and live a lavish life" board.

Or, maybe just realize that it's ok to have fun... either way.
__________________
Marquette is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2008, 02:28 PM   #16
Full time employment: Posting here.
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 514
Quote:
Originally Posted by Want2retire
I have also known people who could not imagine how someone could go through life without going to Vegas and that REALLY puzzles me. I wouldn't vacation in Vegas if I was paid to go! Yet I know that many do love going there.
For what it's worth, I've known many people who had no desire at all to go to Vegas. However, after they went (my sister in law had her wedding there last year), it turns out they loved it. I think Vegas is one of those cities about which people have a lot of misconceptions. I found it to be such a surreal spectacle. It's definitely a unique experience in life, and I'm glad I went.
__________________
kombat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2008, 02:48 PM   #17
Give me a museum and I'll fill it. (Picasso)
Give me a forum ...
dex's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 5,105
Quote:
Originally Posted by kombat View Post
I found it to be such a surreal spectacle. It's definitely a unique experience in life, and I'm glad I went.
That it is.
After you have been there a few times and the novelty wears off - you begin to see other things - the people who don't look like they can afford to lose another dollar for example.
It can be a bit boring away from the strip - all the subdivisions, strip malls and the desert landscape look the same.
__________________
Sometimes death is not as tragic as not knowing how to live. This man knew how to live--and how to make others glad they were living. - Jack Benny at Nat King Cole's funeral
dex is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2008, 03:17 PM   #18
Full time employment: Posting here.
tangomonster's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 756
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marquette View Post
Get back in your hovel and eat your bean soup!
But Marquette, I LOVE bean soup! As a vegetarian, it's something I actually want to eat! Funny how it's all relative......
__________________
“It is not a sign of good health to be well adjusted to a sick society”.------Krishnamurti
tangomonster is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2008, 03:23 PM   #19
Thinks s/he gets paid by the post
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 2,020
Quote:
Originally Posted by tangomonster View Post
But Marquette, I LOVE bean soup! As a vegetarian, it's something I actually want to eat! Funny how it's all relative......
Well, I do to, but in moderation.

Just make sure you eat alone!
__________________
Marquette is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2008, 03:27 PM   #20
Full time employment: Posting here.
tangomonster's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 756
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marquette View Post
Well, I do to, but in moderation.

Just make sure you eat alone!
There's always Beano----and considering that the husband and cat can be equally flatulent, it's not a problem!
__________________

__________________
“It is not a sign of good health to be well adjusted to a sick society”.------Krishnamurti
tangomonster is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
ER in NJ and other high cost of living areas walkinwood FIRE and Money 36 07-22-2006 08:39 AM
Out of high cost funds into ...??? jaimee FIRE and Money 5 04-02-2006 06:04 PM
Scott Burns - High Cost of Living as a Family intercst Young Dreamers 6 08-23-2005 10:06 AM
High salary vs. High cost of living article laurence FIRE and Money 30 05-25-2005 07:40 PM
The High Cost of Flattery hocus Young Dreamers 39 10-23-2004 04:37 PM

 

 
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 10:05 AM.
 
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.